Found Several Packs' Worth Of Pokemon Cards Strewn Across A Target Parking Lot And Took A Pic To Show

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peanuthead

not my circus not my—

what? *unrolls paper* why are you giving me a deed to the.. oh, oh no.. fuck.

they're my monkeys now

Because of my stupid sister, I remembered that I'm a lesbian and I love Uraraka 🤝🤝

French royalist newspaper progressively freaking out as Napoleon gets closer to Paris

So I don't know if it is a true story but it is hilarious. In his Impressions de Voyage, Alexandre Dumas (who also wrote The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo) recolls reading a few years ago the royalist (and so) anti-Napoleon newspaper Le Moniteur. Every day, he notes the changing tone of headlines as Napoleon, who fled from the island of Elba, approaches Paris :

The cannibal left his lair

The Corsican Ogre has just reached Golfe-Juan

The tiger has arrived at Gap

The monster spent the night in Grenoble

The tyrant has crossed Lyon

The usurper was seen sixty leagues from the capital

Bonaparte is advancing at great strides but will never enter Paris

Napoleon will be under our ramparts tomorrow

The Emperor arrived at Fontainebleau

His Imperial and Royal Majesty arrived yesterday in his Tuileries castle among his loyal subjects

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

return of the king

as far as one piece antagonists go Crocodile truly gets absolutely scooby-doo’d at unmatched levels

He immediately falls for a phone scam and from basically little garden to rainbase he doesn’t even know the strawhats are alive (and clowning towards him at incredible speed). As soon as he does, they’re in his house tearing at his walls and bringing marines into his villain lair.

He uses a literal floor trap door over a gator pit to catch them, gets phone scammed again, full scooby-doo chase scenes after Chopper through the streets while still missing him, and suddenly his prisoners have escaped his impossible cage, and his giant bananagators are dead. and Nico Robin saw it all happen.

He then spends rest of the arc complaining about those meddling kids and their dog “strawhat pirates and their weird pet” and at no point does he even know how many strawhats there are.

Like yeah he keeps having plans on top of plans to stop everything Vivi can do but also she keeps coming up with a new thing to do (Tom and Jerry ass dynamic).

Part of it is that he’s underestimating them and keeps grandstanding villain monologuing but also teens keep killing hundreds of his grand line bounty hunters and he straight up does not know what is happening.

Cause he IS trying to kill them he’s sending top assassins after them and ripping out luffy’s organs, the whole time he’s yelling HOW ARE YOU ALIVE?? DIE. as whack-a-mole Luffy keeps inventing new ways to hit him.

encountering an inconvenience while cold: damn that sucks, oh well, i’ll figure something else out!!

encountering an inconvenience while hot: we all deserve to die right now, come on everyone, lets all go die