This Is Basically A Short Horror Film

The Animals - House of the Rising Sun (1964)

Silver Jews - New Orleans (1994)

wdhmbt’s tumblr post (undated)

They stole Endeavour’s credit card

speaking of third-wheeling i love when people are like "third-wheeled too hard and now i'm in a throuple" but i think a little spoken of third-wheeled-too-hard option is getting adopted by other adults. one time when i was 25 and in undergrad i made friends with a married couple in their thirties and ended up in such an unusual relationship that one day they called me to their house and sat me down very somberly and then one of them started crying and i thought one of them must have gotten some sort of life-altering health diagnosis or something

but then they told me they were getting a divorce and they were going to be okay, but they had been agonizing for two weeks over how to tell me because they didn't want to "disrupt" my life and it was then that i had to remind them that i was actually a fully grown adult and that i was going to be completely okay and that in fact i would like to be there for them in this tumultuous time and they were like

"oh....... yeah"

He’s embarrassed

Cats getting caught doing crimes

concept:

supervillain × henchman with the twist that the supervillain is a sort of cartoon foppish dramatic gay villain with gonzo schemes and no bodycount. and the henchman is secretly a grimdark ultrapowerful Apex Predator supervilllain who came to Stake Out the competition. got mistaken for a henchman and found this so fucking funny hes just 100% committed to the bit.

hes carrying around boxes of fucking Acme Corporation sticks of dynamite. hes dressing in the matching stylish outfit. hes managing the other henchmen to execute gonzo schemes flawlessly. genuinely the most fun hes ever had in his life

his dumbass gay boss has literally no idea the lengths he is going to behind the scenes to make sure nobody interferes with any of this shit.

(apex supervillain, in his Supervillain Disguise. homoerotically and terrifyingly flirt/threatens flamboyant supervillain. smash cut to this poor man lying face down on a couch unpacking this with the very attentive henchman)

("hes going to eat me maybe????? but GOD that was the HOTTEST fucking thing thats ever happened to me. but i might DIE?? do u think he LIKES me...."

henchman: i think he does :3)

the ruse comes out when someone who the apex supervillain didnt catch comes to ACTUALLY challenge/harm his gay boss in public and apex supervillain is like. yeah no we're not doing this. time for the power of unfathomable violence.

gay supervillain promptly has a FULL MELTDOWN. oh my god the blood. and also. "you LIED TO ME???"

apex supervillain, apologetically: "I was waiting to see if you'd ever figure it out yourself. And the longer it went the funnier it got."

gay supervillain: "I TRUSTED you!! you were my BEST HENCHMAN"

apex supervillain: aw. past tense?

hooray for blue charmander!

somehow I've done another Chartodile family moment