told my mom my feet are cold & all my wool socks are dirty & she said “how about THESE” and pulled out of her pocket a pair of wool socks that apparently took 3rd place in the Delaware State Fair, which I know because the ribbon is still attached
Haymitch and his ducklings
concept:
supervillain × henchman with the twist that the supervillain is a sort of cartoon foppish dramatic gay villain with gonzo schemes and no bodycount. and the henchman is secretly a grimdark ultrapowerful Apex Predator supervilllain who came to Stake Out the competition. got mistaken for a henchman and found this so fucking funny hes just 100% committed to the bit.
hes carrying around boxes of fucking Acme Corporation sticks of dynamite. hes dressing in the matching stylish outfit. hes managing the other henchmen to execute gonzo schemes flawlessly. genuinely the most fun hes ever had in his life
his dumbass gay boss has literally no idea the lengths he is going to behind the scenes to make sure nobody interferes with any of this shit.
(apex supervillain, in his Supervillain Disguise. homoerotically and terrifyingly flirt/threatens flamboyant supervillain. smash cut to this poor man lying face down on a couch unpacking this with the very attentive henchman)
("hes going to eat me maybe????? but GOD that was the HOTTEST fucking thing thats ever happened to me. but i might DIE?? do u think he LIKES me...."
henchman: i think he does :3)
the ruse comes out when someone who the apex supervillain didnt catch comes to ACTUALLY challenge/harm his gay boss in public and apex supervillain is like. yeah no we're not doing this. time for the power of unfathomable violence.
gay supervillain promptly has a FULL MELTDOWN. oh my god the blood. and also. "you LIED TO ME???"
apex supervillain, apologetically: "I was waiting to see if you'd ever figure it out yourself. And the longer it went the funnier it got."
gay supervillain: "I TRUSTED you!! you were my BEST HENCHMAN"
apex supervillain: aw. past tense?
Local teacher hit by the fact he is dating his highschool crush turned pro hero (he ask for detailed recap of her cases)
heard about the new quarter quell book and came running back to thg like haymitchs axe came back from the force field ifykyk
last night i dreamt tumblr added like a billion buttons to the mobile app so instead of this
we got this
and everyone just rolled with it but sometimes the wide naruto got too wide and blocked off all the other buttons and people would just post "got naruto'd again :/" and the only way to reset him was to log out and log back in