Is Your Mission Important Enough To Miss On A Local Dilf (deity I’d Like To Fuck)? I Don’t Think

Wei Wuxian: The Wen Remnants? No, you misheard. These are the Wei Remnants

Jin Guangshan: Do you think we're stupid!?

Wei Wuxian: That's a trick question. They can't be Wens because, according to you, the only Wens left were soldiers and cultivaters. These guys are clearly elderly and healers. Meet my older sister Wei Qing

Wen Qing with a slightly different hair style: This one is honored to meet such esteemed cultivators

Wei Wuxian: And my twin (but still younger) brother, Wei Ning

Fierce corpse Wen Ning with makeup poorly applied: Thank you for visiting our humble village

Jin Guangshan: You except everyone here to believe your blatant lies!?

Wei Wuxian: Everyone here pretends to believe your blatant lies about only having one bastard. Why is your lie so much more believable than mine?

Jiang Cheng: Go to hell!

Lan Zhan: Can I please leave your home before you invite me back in?

Also

Jiang Cheng: If I could go back in time, I'd find child Mo Xuanyu. And I'd give him to a loving family

Wei Wuxian: Aww that's so sweet!

Jiang Cheng: So that he'd never have a reason to resurrect you, and you'd be stuck in the body of someone ugly instead!

Wei Wuxian: aww

Also also

Jiang Cheng: YOU DEFLOWERED MY BABY BROTHER!

Wei Wuxian: I'm older than-

Jiang Cheng: NO ONE ASKED YOU!

Lan Zhan: *throws a bag of gold at jc's head*

Jiang Cheng: THE FUCK-

Lan Zhan: For Wei Ying's virtue

Jiang Cheng: YOU THINK ONE BAG OF GOLD IS ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR-

Lan Zhan: *throws another bag of gold*

Jiang Cheng: HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU HAVE!?

Lan Zhan: How much do I need to buy your silence?

Lan er furen (sketch)

AU where Meng Shi was just a bit more cynical and spent her hard-earned on buying Meng Yao study materials for the Imperial Examination instead of dodgy cultivation manuals. Cultivation is for his father to teach him, after all.

Meng Yao fucking blitzes the exam, because of course he does, and the first time he arrives at Koi Tower it's with an imperial mandate to audit the shit out of them for tax purposes.

quick, we need to inject some unapologetic positivity into the jgy side of the mdzs fandom. i'll go first:

1) no one in this book is as devoted to their mother as jin guangyao is to meng shi, and i love that about him.

2) can you imagine being newly orphaned and rejected by your only known living relative, penniless and without prospects, only to meet the injured heir to a ravaged sect and choosing to spend what slim resources you have protecting him and keeping him safe? because that's what meng yao did for lan xichen, and i think that's insane (affectionate)

3) what a cultivation prodigy jin guangyao actually was! no formal training, no support from a sect, no guidance from a dedicated teacher or mentor, and he still possesses such a natural gift for the qin that his talent with this instrument is recognized and admired widely across the jianghu. the only cultivators with more raw talent for it than him are members of the gusu lan. iconic.

4) those watchtowers saved hundreds of thousands of commoners' lives, which is, again, something precious few members of the gentry had any interest in investing their time or resources into doing.

5) the reason that post-canon wangxian can fuck nasty on every single exposed surface of the cloud recesses is because jin guangyao spent his slim political capital after the war pressuring jgs into sparing the funds to help rebuild it. say thank you, xiandu.

for once, sect leader yao is right and he should say it.

i actually admire lan wangji's character development a lot more when i acknowledge that prior to wei wuxian's death, he isn't actually as "righteous".

teenage lan wangji is regarded highly because he is upper class, has strong cultivation, and obeys his family and society's strict expectations. his rigidity and responsibility are more guided by the idea that his duty (the "right thing") is rule-following rather than doing actual good, even against those rules.

he's not a perfect stickler for the rules. he can be stubborn and petty, but even the few times he does transgress (e.x. kneeling before the gentian house) he doesn't get very far.

anyway... even with all his manpain struggling-- maybe even because of it, and because of his own lack of political power compared to people like lan xichen or lan qiren-- young adult lan wangji was honestly pretty entitled, even with his genuinely good intentions towards wei wuxian.

instead of doing the more difficult (yet right) thing of speaking up against those persecuting wei wuxian-- calling out his elders and the other clans as wrong, unjust, unrighteous, and acting against them (see jiang clan motto "do the impossible", which wei wuxian embodied very well)-- lan wangji was constantly trying to get wei wuxian to change himself and fall in line with society's expectations to avoid dying.

true, he eventually fights 33 of his family members... but by the time nightless city even happens, once jiang yanli dies, it's far too late.

yes, resentful energy is dangerous, and yes guidao is deeply misunderstood, and yes lan wangji didn't know about the golden core transfer. but even without knowing wei wuxian has no alternative, lan wangji knew that others were incorrectly labeling wei wuxian as evil. he knew the major clans kept attacking and provoking him, and while harder to realize, he could've reasonably seen how wei wuxian's actions are always twisted to demean him as a servant's son.

lan wangji wanted wei wuxian to come back to gusu so he could keep him safe, lock him up. but what would that have even helped in the end? love is a sympathetic cause, but locking up the one you love and never truly addressing why they're in danger is a selfish sort of love that doesn't reach the heart of the issues at hand.

only after wei wuxian's death is lan wangji able to let go of that. wei wuxian owed him nothing, not even change. lan wangji intentionally, purposefully chose each and every single day for thirteen years to remember wei wuxian by embodying what the man stood for, and acting accordingly. despite his grief and pain, he truly does become a good and righteous person.

contrast that with jiang cheng's reaction after wei wuxian's death. of clinging to everything he felt wei wuxian owed him. of vocally, violently demanding retribution after wei wuxian comes back to life. how dare you, why did you, you should've, you must... cattily justifying his aggression with equal parts resentful indignation and unhealthy "love" of their imbalance, of what they used to be.

lan wangji does none of that. by the time we reach the present day storyline, lan wangji, like wei wuxian, lets the past stay past and chooses to do good. even if that means going against the grain of society and expectations. he's a phenomenal person and character. i love him so much

if you guys know the og photo 😭☠️ i have so many mdzs shitpost art i’ve made LMAOOOO

This is so sweet and mischievous. Like yes, canon wangxian totally would

wwx: oh, i'm just a frail maiden kidnapped by-

kidnapper: you're a man

yllz, very darkly, very powerful: say one more thing and i'm going to make you eat your own guts

kidnapper, scared: ...yes, sir

wwx: oh, i'm just a frail maiden kidnapped by evil men, how i wish i could be saved by a beautiful strong gentleman,!

wwx: *open one eye waiting*

lwj: *arriving in his full lan glory while his husband claps excitedly*

Wangxian plot bunny I may or may not write, but I encourage people to write as well 🫡

Wei Wuxian: I have an excellent idea for people to leave us alone.

Wen Qing: oh boy...

Wei Wuxian: don't you wanna know what I got?

Wen Qing: stupider?

Wei Wuxian: booo! Anyway. I'm gonna send this message at the Great Sects and they'll be so disgusted they'll leave us alone!

Wen Qing: "if you want to keep the Yilling Laozu from doing horrible, ghost cultivation, then send someone as a sacrifice to have nasty, disrespectful sex with him. Those who exceed his expectations will gain everything he owns".

Wei Wuxian: See? 100% guarantie of success! Nobody will take the offer and if they do, I just say it wasn't good enough! Win-win for me!

Wen Qing: so you got stupider. Alright. Scrape that idea

Wei Wuxian:...

Wen Qing: what. Did. You do.

Wei Wuxian: I already sent it to the major sects...

Wen Qing: I swear tO GOD!!

Meanwhile, at the big sects:

At Yunmeng jiang: the message was ripped apart by Jiang Cheng because he knows Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid and isn't going to fall for it. Also, not willing to send someone to Yilling, like, think of their reputation!

At Qinghe Nie: the message was also ripped apart by Nie Mingju because he thinks Wei Wuxian is mocking them by calling out their righteousness. They're not sending anyone either, but Nie Huaisang 's brain is going "??.. !"

At Lanling Jing: there's a huge debate about which prostitute to send him, how much they'll have to pay said prostitute to keep the Yilling Laozu content and get their hand on the Yin Tiger Tally without sacrificing too much on their side. Everyone is shooting everyone in the foot. Nothing concrete is done.

At Gusu Lan: the message was ripped apart and everyone is shaking their heads at the shamelessness of the Yilling Laozu, they're too "above" to even consider sending anyone. Lan Qiren, knowing Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid (same as his mother, hmpf!) is nearly ripping his beard off from how mocking the boy is! Lan Xichen is sighing at yet another proof Wei Wuxian has fallen because of his cultivation. He goes to tell his brother not to do anything rash but Lan Wangji is already gone. Oops.

A month later, Lan Wangji comes back with a gaggle of old people and a child. And the Yilling Laozu, dragging his feet and trying to escape. Lan Wangji says "excuse me." at the sentries before walking to the sides in the forest for.. about 45 minutes? and when he comes back, Wei Wuxian is disheveled and loopy. He looks like he's been mauled by a fierce beast. The rest of the Wen group look exhausted and used to it, wishing they could be set somewhere so they don't have to endure their Yilling Laozu being ravished (enthusiastically) by Hanguang-jun four times a day. Wen Yuan is just happy Wei-gege and Rich-gege made up.