One Of My Most Pointless But Beloved MDZS Headcanons Is That Lan Wangji Was A Fat Baby. Just A Little

The One in which Wei Wuxian Died

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Got an idea for an au in the dead of the night which I might flesh out later. Idk. But for now, here’s what it amounts to.

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Wei Wuxian, post-canon, happily married to Lan Wangji, is not in fact getting along with his in-laws. And by in-laws, I mean Lan Qiren. Lan Qiren is convinced that Wei Wuxian is the devil incarnate that stole away and seduced his well behaved nephew, corrupting him. Nothing new from the man who held a grudge against a literal fifteen year old. He does not hide the fact that he believes things would be better off had Wei Wuxian not existed in the first place.

Wei Wuxian, who is in fact a talismanic genius, decides that if Lan Qiren wants a world where he doesn’t exist so badly, he’ll help the man out. He then spends the next few weeks developing a talisman (or array, if that works better) that will allow Lan Qiren to view an alternate timeline in which Wei Wuxian does not exist. He promptly presents it to Lan Qiren, explains the concept, and laughs as he tells Lan Qiren to use it whenever he wants to relax.

Most importantly, Lan Qiren is a spectator to this timeline. He is unable to influence it.

(While Wei Wuxian perhaps no longer blames himself for certain events, like the Wens attacking Lotus Pier, considering they likely would have done so no matter his perceived slight, he does not think through the effect his not being there would bring about during other such events. So while self blame is not as prevalent as it once would have been, he does not think the world would find detriment in his absence. He is wrong.)

Now, with the initial setup out of the way, let’s dive into this alternate timeline, starting with the first divergence; Wei Wuxian himself.

In this timeline, Wei Ying, nearing six years old, succumbs to a fever brought about by infected dog bites after his first encounter with them on the streets. (His little spirit is very happily enjoying spending time with his parents in the afterlife. he’s probably the only carefree individual in this timeline.)

Lotus Pier, despite Wei Wuxian having never stepped foot within it, is still wrought with tension. Jiang Cheng still develops an inferiority complex, and Jiang Yanli still takes it upon herself to parent her little brother in the absence of any real parenting from Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian, who are too busy fighting with each other to pay much attention to their children aside from using them as ammunition for their ire. While the main family is dealing with this infighting, the Jiang Sect stagnates and weakens under the mismanagement of their appointed Head Disciple until Jiang Fengmian finally catches wind of this during one of Madam Yu’s night hunts when she’s not around to distract him. A new Head Disciple is chosen, but the damage will take time to repair.

Cloud Recesses is relatively calm, the year Wei Wuxian was meant to attend. With a few distinct differences. Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang are not friends without Wei Wuxian to act as a buffer between Jiang Cheng’s headstrong personality and Nie Huaisang’s far meeker disposition. Lan Wangji does not spend the year falling in love with a troublesome rule-breaker, and continues to seclude himself away behind an icy disposition. Su She drowns during the confrontation with the Waterborne Abyss. The students come, study, and leave. Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan’s engagement remains intact by the end of the year. Lan Wangji does not come out of his shell, and Lan Xichen continues to worry about his brother.

Wen Chao still performs poorly during the archery competition. The Lan sect is still burnt down. The indoctrination still occurs. Mianmian is branded on the face. The disciples manage to escape with few casualties, but the Xuanwu of Slaughter remains alive. Lan Wangji will never regain full mobility of his leg despite the strength of his golden core.

Lotus Pier still burns. Jiang Yanli, safe in Lanling at the time, becomes the sole survivor of the main family. Without Wei Wuxian there to temper his impulsivity, Jiang Cheng joins back in the fight after being sent away and dies alongside his parents. The Jiang sect dissolves with so little members left with no one suitable to lead them. Jiang Yanli officially marries into the Jin sect the year after.

The Sunshot Campaign is still formed, but lacking the support of both the Jiang and the Jin (whose contribution is so minimal it barely counts for anything), it was doomed from the beginning. The Wen storm Qinghe Nie whilst the Sunshot Campaign gathers its forces, and Wen Xu takes Nie Huaisang hostage to force Nie Mingjue to come fight them. The Sunshot Campaign is thusly defeated, and as it’s figurehead, Nie Mingjue is beheaded.

Following this, Jin Guangshan openly allies himself with Wen Rouhan, whilst both the Lan and Nie are absorbed into the Wen sect. Anyone who protests this is executed or used for more of Wen Rouhan’s experiments regarding resentful energy.

It is during this lull in activity that Jin Ling is born to Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli. Things are peaceful in Lanling for approximately two years until Wen Rouhan sets his sights on completely conquering the cultivation world and targets the Jin sect. Jin Guangshan dies after his core is crushed by Wen Zhuliu. Following a promise made to Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan flees with Jin Ling after Jiang Yanli is captured to buy them time to escape (the only reason it is not Jin Zixuan buying time for Jiang Yanli and Jin Ling is that he has a better chance at being able to protect their son, given Jiang Yanli’s weaker cultivation). She is brought to Nightless City after Wen Xu takes an interest in her.

After an entire year on the run from the Wen, Jin Zixuan is finally caught in Yiling. He puts up a significant fight to protect Jin Ling but is ultimately injured. This is where Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen show in the narrative. They help Jin Zixuan fight off the Wen soldiers, but Jin Zixuan is dying. He entrusts Jin Ling into the care of the two rogue cultivators, making them promise to keep the boy safe. The two agree. So they leave Jin Zixuan in Yiling and travel to the safest place Xiao Xingchen knows; a place he knows accepts orphaned children. He takes Jin Ling to the Celestial Mountain, upon which resides none other than Baoshan Sanren.

(Jin Zixuan, for his part, does not die. Wen Qing, who although has since been called back to Nightless City to resume her work as Wen Rouhan’s personal physician, occasionally travels to Yiling to check upon the supervisory office still under her management. Wen Qing, who has developed a tentative friendship with Jiang Yanli, chances upon Jin Zixuan and beyond all odds, recognizes him as Jiang Yanli’s husband from before her capture. She promptly smuggles him into the supervisory office to treat him. His core is irreparably damaged by a poison made from resentful energy that Wen Rouhan has Wen Qing helping to develop. If left unchecked, it would continue to ravage through the meridians until the pain immobilizes the affected cultivator, leading to eventual death. To prevent this, Wen Qing surgically removes Jin Zixuan’s golden core.)

That’s where my subsequent timeline ends, but there are still ideas for this that I have. Because without Wei Wuxian, the solution for this timeline’s happy ending is far more complicated.

These new circumstances, however, lead to some pretty interesting dynamics that can be explored. My main idea obviously centres around Nie Huaisang, who with the loss of his brother is most certainly plotting the downfall of Wen Rouhan. But the most interesting dynamic I can think of would have to be between Meng Yao and Mo Xuanyu. Meng Yao, who did not stab Wen Rouhan and therefore was never acknowledged by Jin Guangshan. Meng Yao, who with Jin Guangshan dead, has no way to obtain that approval, and so therefore does not align his entire being with being the perfect son. And Mo Xuanyu, who without Wei Wuxian to invent demonic cultivation, might just end up as the founder in this timeline (because he’s pretty and tragic and I adore him).

Either way, the main rebellion would likely consist of Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, Mo Xuanyu, (perhaps) Lan Wangji, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Xiao Xingchen, Song Zichen, Jiang Yanli, and Jin Zixuan. (And if this lasts long enough, Jin Ling as well.) I say perhaps for Lan Wangji due to his injured leg, though he could still contribute utilizing musical cultivation.

Oh, and the Xuanwu of Slaughter is still an issue in this universe. Unless they can weaponize it against the Wen, which would be pretty cool.

(Wen Chao does in fact become the Wen’s very own version of Jin Guangshan, leaving illegitimate heirs all over the place.)

Of course, none of this is set in stone. If anyone wants to play around with this au, you’re totally free to do so however you’d like. I’m sharing this mostly in case anyone else finds it interesting, and because I’ll probably never actually write a fic for it. This mostly just started out as a brain teaser trying to figure out what would happen if Wei Wuxian wasn’t part of the plot, considering that although he did contribute quite a lot to the canon events, a lot of things were set in motion long before he was even born (like Jin Guangshan’s corruption and Wen Rouhan’s plans to conquer the cultivation world).

Since MXTX said HuaLian live until the modern times, have some random headcanons:

Hua Cheng keeps being an interior decorating king so of course his and Xie Lian's home is tastefully decorated for every season and holiday. However, that doesn't stop Xie Lian from occasionally adding the fugliest item ever because he got emotionally attached to it in the store. "It was all by itself, San Lang, nobody wanted it... i know what that feels like better than anyone..." and now they're both sniffling holding an ugly styrofoam pumpkin in the middle of the fall decor isle of Ikea.

The stray animals food budget is off the charts but it's nobody's fault all strays are immediately drawn to Xie Lian and he has to feed them cause he "knows what it's like to be hungry". This does not just include cats and dogs but also rats, raccoons, several bird species and at least one coyote.

Speaking of budgets, the financial control authorities are lowkey on Hua Cheng's case because he is still stinking rich but nobody knows where the cash is coming from. They think Ghost City is the name of some shady mafia establishment and are trying to find dirt on Hua Cheng but there is literally nothing there and it eats the government alive.

Xie Lian occasionally dumpster dives in places where he knows they throw perfectly salvageable things. Hua Cheng cries every time it happens but he stands watch so the police doesn't arrest his husband for it.

In the same vein, Xie Lian insists on recycling literally everything. They have those different colored trash bins and everything, and every time Hua Cheng places an item in the wrong bin, Xie Lian gives him a disapproving look that has the ghost king crumble.

They have so many house plants. It's like a little jungle in their living room but the air is so crisp.

They keep several scrapbooks of paintings, pictures, letters etc from all the people they met to remember them even hundreds or thousands of years after those people have passed away. Even if they now have access to phones and other media for storage, they keep up the tradition of using scrapbooks and notebooks anyway.

Xie Lian is actually up to date with memes and internet slang but has embraced being a cringe Facebook grandpa and is now committed to the persona. Hua Cheng finds this hilarious (he runs a very well maintained beauty channel and a side channel on swords where Xie Lian features in every video and geeks out about their sword collection. They have a golden button and a very large following).

Hua Cheng has a 25 step skincare routine and only uses the fanciest brands of products for literally everything. Xie Lian still swears by 8 in 1 shampoo and somehow has clearer skin. Hua Cheng is both enamored and scandalized about it.

Hua Cheng is a very big fan of acryllics and lets Xie Lian pick the base color every time. Xie Lian takes this task very, very seriously and tries to coordinate it with any activities/events they have planned so Hua Cheng stays being stylish.

Hua Cheng has a portable Dyson Airwrap with him at all times because one time a kid said his hair looks like a wet dog.

Xie Lian is not allowed to get a job because every time he tried to along the decades he became a cautionary tale somehow.

a peaceful day

When the moon can be seen during the day

Lan Qiren is not having a good time

Ridiculous idea. LWJ being ok with his emotions and willing to talk about them

Wei Wuxian: I'll give you one of these jars if you forget you saw me

Lan Zhan: How could I forget such a beautiful person?

Wei Wuxian: Oh. Well... um... that is to say....

Lan Zhan: You're still coming with me for punishment

Wei Wuxian: The sexy kind?

Lan Zhan: Not this time

Mdzs as a d&d game.

Dm: You are dropped into the Burial Mounds

Wwx: Can I survive this?

Dm: Make a constitution roll

Wwx: Nat 20

Dm: Alright, you survive. Now tell me how

Jc: I try to prove that it's Wei Wuxian

Dm: Roll for perception and charisma

Jc: 15 and 3

Dm: While there is almost no doubt in your mind that Mo Xuanyu is actually Wei Wuxian, you have no real means to prove it. You have to let the group leave

Lwj: I drag Wei Ying to the inn

Wwx: Hey! How come he gets to know who I am without a perception check?

Dm: Because you practically told him

Lwj: I would like to seduce Wei Ying

Dm: Roll for charisma

Lwj: 18

Dm: Alright. You tell Wei Wuxian in as simple terms as your drunk self can manage, how much he means to you. Wei Wuxian, roll for perception

Wwx: My dice just rolled off the table and into the trash

Dm: Unfortunately, the love of your life is stupid

Crack plot

Jin Guangyao: If we want a bloodless solution to how the Yiling Patriarch should be handled, we should have a competition. Whichever sect wins will decide what happens to Wei Wuxian and the Wen Remnants.

Dumbass Yao: And what competition would we have?

Nie Huaisang: I don't really know, but what about whichever person can get Wei-gongzi to leave the Burial Mounds and Yiling willingly? I don't know, something like that

Jiang Cheng: Agreed. Once he's back in Lotus Pier, we can put all of this nonsense behind us, correct?

Jin Guangshan: Once there is a clear winner, their decision will be final. We can all move on to other things.

Jiang Cheng: Good. If that's all, I have a letter to draft.

Lan Xichen: Gentleman. If I may be so bold, I would like to make an attempt now, so there's no confusion about any success or failure that might come.

Jin Guangshan: Go ahead. What secret technique does the Lan clan have to summon demonic cultivators?

Lan Xichen: Just this. I'M SORRY WANGJI, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE! YOU'LL HAVE TO MARRY JIN ZIXUN!

Wei Wuxian, out of nowhere: I'll skewer the Jin pig!!! Lan Zhan doesn't have to marry anyone he doesn't want to! That pompous prick doesn't deserve Lan Zhan anyway!

Lan Xichen: I believe I've won

Headcanon tht one of JGY's Sleeve Flicks is one he's evidently had to improvise on his own bc he wasn't used to wearing wide sleeves and LXC thinks this is beautiful of him and a monument to how hard he's worked and how far he's come and he will never tell JGY this bc he knows if he does what JGY will hear is that an observer can tell he doesn't belong here