cosmicallylyss - Alystair!
Alystair!

21, he/him || matt engarde enthusiast || hq atz bllk aa || cosmicallylyss/serpentcorelyss on ao3

237 posts

Latest Posts by cosmicallylyss - Page 2

10 months ago

Blue Lock Baseball AU

Hello everyone I am a baseball/softball enjoyer and would like to share my thoughts about what positions I think the Blue Lock boys would play! This will be multipart as ideas will come to me sporadically, with analysis under the cut.

Characters included in this part are: Egoist 4, Raichi, Barou, Aryu, & Aiku

Blue Lock Baseball AU
Blue Lock Baseball AU

Isagi Yoichi:

Left fielder. Now you might be saying "lyss why are you putting the protagonist in the outfield??" and to that I say 1) this is baseball not soccer 2) if you don't think this position is important you don't know the sport. If a ball is headed for the outfield it's most likely headed somewhere between LF/CF and those players will need good communication in order to coordinate who's going for what. Despite Isagi being a beast on the field to his rivals, we know he can do teamwork exceptionally well. Left field also requires great knowledge of the game, and his meta-vision being able to predict what the runners will do will be able to help him by making the perfect throws to the infield for a given situation. He's got a great view of the entire field and although he probably won't be making any outs aside from outfield catches (which he can make a lot of!!!) he is indispensable when it comes to holding off the runners from advancing.

Bachira Meguru:

I want to put him at second base. The middle infield has him bouncing around a lot, as he'll have to cover both second and first base depending on which way the ball is hit, and I am solid in my belief that Bachira can handle that. As a technical player, I really like putting him in this position as I imagine him getting a lot of contact with the ball and being a playmaker for the team. Tagging runners, getting a cut from the outfield, and just generally getting a read of the field by being in the middle of it has me solid that he'll be able to make great plays from this position. I imagine that Bachira's monster/instinct has him making a lot of double plays. He'll be able to get someone out at second and then make a great, yet unexpected throw to first or home for another out.

Chigiri Hyoma:

He's so centerfielder to me. With how well he's performing in Manshine right now it makes sense to me to give him a sort of "leadership role" in the outfield. He'd definitely be the player in the outfield who has to move around the most and I think his speed would be best utilized here. Whether its for making amazing running/diving catches or running in to pick up a ground ball that manages to slip past second and short, I think putting Chigiri in centerfield gives him the opportunity to use a lot of his potential. Of course pinch runner Chigiri would be fun to see as well, maybe he's not in the batting lineup but when the pitcher or catcher gets on base he subs in for them to run the bases. Honestly thinking about CF Chigiri was what got me wanting to write this whole thing, he means so so much to me.

Kunigami Rensuke:

Third baseman. Yes I'm foaming at the mouth about this thought. Sue me. Not only does Kunigami's strength make him a great person to put here because of his ability to make great throws to both first and home, I think it's best to have your more physically dominant players toward the last bases. As the opponent progresses along the bases, it becomes more and more vital to get them out before they can make it home (duh). I think Kunigami, especially post-wildcard would be really aggressive on the base (occasionally to his detriment), enjoying tagging out players rather than going with an easier route of just stepping on the bag. He's probably also a clean-up hitter or at least close to the top of the lineup. I want to imagine he's also a lefty batter, maybe he's a slap hitter and it annoys everyone else. But yeah I really want to see him dominating third base and the whole foul line honestly.

Raichi Jingo:

He would be such a great shortstop okay just listen to me. The nature of middle infield is running around a lot (covering third, covering second, backing up second) and although it's not a lot of distance to cover, you're alternating between these positions a lot and Raichi definitely has the stamina to keep up with the demands of middle infield. We've seen it. I also think his tenacity is great for making him an awesome shortstop. He'll fully throw himself in front of a line drive to catch it (this works most of the time), ignoring the sting in his hand. I also imagine if a runner is about to steal third and Raichi is in possession of the ball, he'll charge at the runner to fully scare them back into staying at second before getting the ball back to the pitcher.

Barou Shouei:

The most egotistical pitcher you will ever meet dear god. His whole king shtick with the whole field revolving around his playstyle??? You literally can not put him in any other position. He's a menace on the field, trash talk both to his team and his opponent, but his money is where his mouth is. His great physicality would lend itself to fast, accurate pitches, but I imagine pre-development his short temper would lead to a lot of outbursts that affect his accuracy. He will get angry every time he doesn't pitch a no-hitter. Every time he's reminded that he has a whole team behind him to back him up if the batters hit, he'll bark that it's just him versus the batters and he will strike them out. Barou is the guy you don't wanna hit against, because he's good and he's annoying about it.

Aryu Jyubei:

This is a first baseman. Hear me out. First base gets quite a bit of action so Aryu's got the opportunity to be flashy and get a lot of notice, but that's like 10% of why I'm putting him here. Functionally, we see him dominate in air battles and with his long limbs it makes the most sense to put him on such a pivotal base. He's gonna get thrown to a lot, and it's undeniable that some shitty throws will be sent his way. His height/limbs will allow him to still catch virtually any ball sent his way even if it's far from the bag/overthrown while still keeping a foot on the bag to hopefully get an out. He's got the bag on lockdown but also a good few-foot radius around it.

Aiku Oliver:

Alright everybody act surprised when I say catcher. I know it's the obvious choice but that's because it makes so much sense. Obviously whenever your team isn't at bat you're on defense, but catcher is definitely the most defensive position one can think of, and that's where Aiku excels. I think his strength will be an asset behind the plate, as it'll be easy for him to throw to any base necessary, and he could also be a pretty formidable player to run toward for any opponent trying to steal home. I think his leadership that shines as captain of the U-20 team would also allow him to sync nicely with whatever pitcher he's teamed up with, and I also think his game sense will allow him to make quick decisions on where to throw the ball if he doesn't try to throw out someone stealing and just send the ball back to the pitcher.


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10 months ago

Can we all pause and take a moment to appreciate this Barcha duo.

Love me guys who make random silly noises like them

Can We All Pause And Take A Moment To Appreciate This Barcha Duo.
Can We All Pause And Take A Moment To Appreciate This Barcha Duo.
Can We All Pause And Take A Moment To Appreciate This Barcha Duo.
Can We All Pause And Take A Moment To Appreciate This Barcha Duo.

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10 months ago

Guys? GUYS!?!?

ARE YOU SEEING WHAT I'M SEEING!?!?!?

Guys? GUYS!?!?

OHMYGOD RIN WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING TO MY BABY!?!?!?!?

Guys? GUYS!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

RIN! RIN, THE DAY I CATCH YOU, RIN!!! OHMYGOD AAAAAAAA!!!!!!

Guys? GUYS!?!?

YOU WANT A PIECE!?!

HUH???

YOU WANT A PIECE, RIN!!?

Guys? GUYS!?!?

I'M RIGHT HERE, YOU LICE INFECTED EMO BANGS!!! I'M GOING TO SEND YOU TO YOUR MAKER!!! YOU WILL BE PRAYING FOR DEATH THE DAY I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!

Guys? GUYS!?!?

I'LL FUCK YOU UP YOU FAKE ASS!!! THAT'S WHY YOUR BROTHER DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!!!


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10 months ago

so if i were to make a post about what baseball positions i think bllk characters would play would that be a thing we are interested in . i love baseball and softball and the blue lock hyperfixation is not going Anywhere so like are we wanting this orrrrrr . . .

EDIT : hey y'all i did it


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10 months ago
Post-match Hug For The Babies

post-match hug for the babies

10 months ago

When the only crimes you committed to end your career before it even started were you being a team player who genuinely loved your teammates and being a good guy and ran after a flight risk ,who dove headfirst into what normal people would assumed was a trap straight out of a horror movie, to make sure he was okay.

When The Only Crimes You Committed To End Your Career Before It Even Started Were You Being A Team Player

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10 months ago

Raichi would be so pretty if he just stopped trying to look like a gremlin every waking moment.

Like look at this pretty bitch,

Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.

please teach me your eyeliner ways

Oh, and then there's,

Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.

Such a ✨PRINCESS✨

But no:) He wakes up every morning and decides to,

Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.
Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.

And my personal favourite,

Raichi Would Be So Pretty If He Just Stopped Trying To Look Like A Gremlin Every Waking Moment.

Raichi, bro, are you okay?? Velociraptor looking fucking headass

please don't ever change i still love you


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10 months ago

more bllk text posts. kaiser is here a lot (boo!!!)

More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)
More Bllk Text Posts. Kaiser Is Here A Lot (boo!!!)

part 1


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10 months ago

kainess version everyone cheer

Kainess Version Everyone Cheer

making fun of reo (for relatability) with one of my favorite kpop memes ever. it's not perfect but just pretend they have soc med before second selection.

Making Fun Of Reo (for Relatability) With One Of My Favorite Kpop Memes Ever. It's Not Perfect But Just

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10 months ago

making fun of reo (for relatability) with one of my favorite kpop memes ever. it's not perfect but just pretend they have soc med before second selection.

Making Fun Of Reo (for Relatability) With One Of My Favorite Kpop Memes Ever. It's Not Perfect But Just

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10 months ago

If I don't see Rin looking like this in the next chapter and enter my dreams for sleep paralysis to kick in, then I don't want it.

If I Don't See Rin Looking Like This In The Next Chapter And Enter My Dreams For Sleep Paralysis To Kick
10 months ago

If I can't have someone looking at me like they wanted to devour my very soul then I don't want it.

If I Can't Have Someone Looking At Me Like They Wanted To Devour My Very Soul Then I Don't Want It.
10 months ago

I need a barosagi( or any Barou ship tbh) about isagi meeting Barou’s sisters for the first time and trying to impress them so they can “ accept “him with dating their big brother

He would try to bribe them with gifts but Barou already spoils them enough


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10 months ago

corporate would like you to spot the difference between the following two images

Corporate Would Like You To Spot The Difference Between The Following Two Images
Corporate Would Like You To Spot The Difference Between The Following Two Images

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10 months ago

So in my musings on What If™ Kira was used not as a throwaway character/shocking elim but a rival to Jinpachi Ego himself in terms of ideology and moral value and was one of/The protagonist(s) of Blue Lock, I've accidentally created a rarepair (ship or platonic duo I can see it both ways) inside my mind so please get ready for the biggest hear me out [analysis and more thoughts under the cut just pls pls pls hear me out i am begging]. Look at them and then hear me out.

So In My Musings On What If™ Kira Was Used Not As A Throwaway Character/shocking Elim But A Rival To

So! First off thank you for hearing me out.

First Selection: Oh boy Kira does not like this guy. He's a team player in a world of egoists, obviously he doesn't like this self-proclaimed king! He thinks the selfish playstyle is terrible but he's also not an idiot and can not deny that clearly, results are showing for the unsportsmanlike behavior.

Second Selection: I'm not too sure on how I'm gonna screw with this one for the purposes of adding in Kira, all I know is that I want him to play with Reo (I think he'd be really beneficial to him as a friend and teammate post ReoNagi breakup) so hey maybe he'll get to play against Barou at some point here if I screw with the 3v3? Anyway, I want them to be on opposite teams again and I want Kira to see the whole idea of devouring/Barou's villain complex and have a moment of "Maybe this is team play, it's just a selfish way of doing it??" and we see his whole power of friendship mentality shake a little bit.

Third Selection: Very few ideas for what the two of them do here in relation to each other. In all honesty it's not that important to me right now

U-20: Okay yeah I'm not a Kira fan to an unrealistic standpoint, he most likely benchwarms this game or maybe gets a few minutes of being subbed in because Ego knows showcasing the jewel of Japanese soccer will bring in some great publicity. Maybe he plays a few minutes in the first half of the match and he's subbed out when Barou subs in (maybe they directly switch??) and Kira gets to say something about "Ah, wish I could've gotten a closer look at your playstyle." or something to that effect. He's not really praising it but he's stopped outright condemning it. Character development!

Neo Egoist League: I want Kira on the Ubers. "Strategy and teamwork" and although he's gained a bit of an ego and some selfishness to survive up to this point, it doesn't discount that we've seen him display the love he has for his high school team in the beginning of the series. Anyway, my main point is that I think he's good enough, especially with his Blue Lock training for him to play really anywhere. However he'd probably stay an offensive player; maybe on Ubers they either do two main strikers with him and Barou as forwards or maybe they have him as left/right winger and he does more of a supportive role for Barou as he's one of the only people on the team to keep up with him offensively? He'll still be scoring goals for himself of course, and I can very easily see Blue Lock making him more of a teasing kind of guy, he'll pass to Barou once and then when Barou steals the ball from him later in the match, he says something like "Reading my moves means you care about what the rest of the team's doing! Good on you, you selfish team player." Also just imagine them playing together both as forwards like. "The King and his Crown" tell me you would not be scared to face those guys they have such a good narrative nickname.

In general—I think the opposing ideologies and playstyles of these characters make them an interesting pair. I think it would be fun to watch Kira go from detesting Barou to admiring him to considering him an ally. Barou is also a main driver of Kira developing an ego/selfishness as their bond strengthens throughout the series. I believe Barou would go from not caring about Kira (just another donkey, y'know?) to considering him a rival (not an enemy!) on equal standing. I think he would appreciate that Kira is a neat guy (headcanon) and although the friendliness can be a bit overbearing Kira seems to know when to pull back. I think Kira is important in Barou considering his team more. He obviously shouldn't change too much from his selfish ways, but I would love to see Kira giving him a little perspective switch—if he wants to command a team, he should understand his team. The most powerful king is one who knows his subjects, isn't it?

In sum, live laugh rarepair dynamics, I might actually turn these headcanons into an actual canon divergence AU because I really really wanna write for kira


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10 months ago

Okay yeah after thinking a bit more I'd really like to see Ubers!Kira in the NEL. Just hear me out okay??

With it also being said that there were talks of him potentially playing for U-18 he's probably at least vaguely familiar with them and the U-20 guys so putting him with Aiku and Sendo could be smart! I think they'd work well together. I also think his dynamic with Barou would be SOOO interesting, especially to see how they go from rivals in the first selection to forced teammates now.

Also I think that Kira's ego development would be so cool to see. Idk how exactly I'd envision Kira's ego developing, like obviously he's gotta get a little self centered to be able to survive bllk but I would like to think more than anything his one goal is to prove Ego wrong. His ego is revolving around his distate for Ego and his belief that "I can only destroy the system from the top".

and what if i rewrite blue lock with kira as a protag just because i like him and i miss him . what happens then? what if he gets to be a lovely protagonist of his story solely because i think he is neat??? he and isagi get a sort of rival best friends relationship throughout first selection, second selection gives him the reo team-up for a moment, exploring how he feels about abandoning the high school team we've seen him care so deeply for to play in the u-20 match. to win over the u-20 team. to already have a big fanbase going into the nel??? im undecided on exactly which team he'd play for but i saw really pretty ubers kira art a little bit ago.


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10 months ago

and what if i rewrite blue lock with kira as a protag just because i like him and i miss him . what happens then? what if he gets to be a lovely protagonist of his story solely because i think he is neat??? he and isagi get a sort of rival best friends relationship throughout first selection, second selection gives him the reo team-up for a moment, exploring how he feels about abandoning the high school team we've seen him care so deeply for to play in the u-20 match. to win over the u-20 team. to already have a big fanbase going into the nel??? im undecided on exactly which team he'd play for but i saw really pretty ubers kira art a little bit ago.


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10 months ago

guys the biggest letdown in blue lock is the fact that kira got killed off (he is not dead he's just gone and I'm mourning)

LIKE THATS THE POTENTIAL MAN OF BLUE LOCK FR. HES OUR MEGUMI

I actually miss him so much he was such a cutie

honestly I'm calling it right now once the NEL finishes and they go to the U-20 world cup, they're gonna play against a country like portugal or argentina and kira is gonna be on that team seeking revenge for what isagi did to him (its literally not even his fault)

MARK MY WORDS THIS WILL HAPPEN. I USED MY META VISION TO FORSEE THE FUTURE OF THIS MANGA, AND THIS IS WHAT I'VE CONCLUDED

this makes sm sense in my head like why else would they kill off what could have been a main character. and since I'm pretty sure the whole not being able to play for the national team is strictly limited to Japan, kira may have got an offer from a really good club and could just have been training ever since and we would never know bc there's no exposure to media in blue lock.

Guys The Biggest Letdown In Blue Lock Is The Fact That Kira Got Killed Off (he Is Not Dead He's Just

he's so pretty I might cry

10 months ago

my favorite hobby is obsessing over the characters/ships no one cares or rarely talks about. it isn’t a conscious decision, i don’t like it, and frankly it’s the worst “hobby” i could take up solely because of the little to none content i get, but someone has to do it. and i, along with the 7 other people in the fandom who are in the same boat, will do it.


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10 months ago
Did This For The Unofficial Blue Lock Zine On Twitter, Which You Can Look At Here !! My Prompt Was "sleepover"

did this for the unofficial blue lock zine on twitter, which you can look at here !! my prompt was "sleepover" :]

some thoughts/headcanons i had while drawing this:

since snuffy treats football as a job, i thought it would be in character (and very cute) if he gave his players mandatory rest days

these rest days aren't only when they dyed barou's hair but also when they have sleepovers n hang out!!

sleepover nights are arranged by aryu and sendou-- aryu does the decorating while sendou gets the snacks, chooses the movies, etc.

niko and aryu are watching puella magi madoka magica on niko's laptop. so far, mami is aryu's fav

niko's laptop has a sayaka miki sticker and a very off brand banana fish sticker that someone got him

sendou is always the first to fall asleep and every time the other members stuff a pillow under his head & throw a blanket on him. he's a heavy sleeper so once he's out, he's OUT

the plushies niko and aryu are holding belong to sendou

aiku looks like he's texting a girl & everyone assumes so but rly he's just watching baby animal tiktoks (usually baby chicks). sometimes niko gets nosy to see what he's doing and every time he gets whiplash

aryu painted everyone's nails black !!! though he made his own nails look a lil fancier because its ~osha~

barou is invited to everyone of these sleepovers but he rarely comes willingly, aiku and lorenzo usually drag him into this mess

in the drawing, barou's returning from a quick bathroom break or smth and while he was gone, lorenzo took his chances and brought out the popcorn

lorenzo is a messy eater so popcorn crumbs r everywhere..... barou hates it sooooooooooo much

HOWEVER in the drawing the popcorn mess isnt entirely from messy eating!! the real reason is lorenzo got bored and started bouncing popcorn off of sendou's forehead (his ass is NAWT waking up)

after having enough sleepovers, everyone kinda has their own spots & usually when barou is there, he's between aiku and niko-- he's cool being around them bc they usually just keep to their phones/laptops

^^ this doesnt stop lorenzo from throwing popcorn at him tho LMFAO and that's when aiku becomes not only the final wall for blue lock but the only wall between barou (becoming a murderer) and don "ace eater" lorenzo

and i think that's everything........ !!! if u read all this. Damn ur kinda my goat (THANK U)


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10 months ago
Im Never Finishing This Comic So Woe. Blue Lock Rpf Be Upon Ye
Im Never Finishing This Comic So Woe. Blue Lock Rpf Be Upon Ye
Im Never Finishing This Comic So Woe. Blue Lock Rpf Be Upon Ye

im never finishing this comic so woe. blue lock rpf be upon ye

10 months ago
So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making

So excited to finally share my full piece for the @curtaincallzine!!! I had sosososo much fun making this piece!!! the drama of 3-5 and the drama of Mozart operas, together at last <3

(details/ analysis under the cut!)

This was inspired by the final scene of the 2001 zurich production of don giovanni! the thought was Dahlia (Don Giovanni) being cast into hell by the returned ghost of Mia (the Commendatore)-- it works too well!! Also Don Giovanni/ Dahlia as the seducer is just perfect!

So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making
So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making

I included the thinker statue because it represents the statue of the Commendatore/ Mia that speaks to Don Giovanni/ Dahlia asking them to repent and then casting them into hell! Mia is on the dinner table because of the dinner table Don Giovanni sets when he defiles the statue which actually works pretty well with the gravy/ dinner that the aa cast had the night of the murder! And the rope bridge was meant to parallel the ladder that Don Giovanni casts himself off of in the Zurich 2001 production

Also!! Not only is evidence from the case falling into the river-- I included paper with the final words of the show written on it!! why??? because I'm insane!!

So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making
So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making
So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making
So Excited To Finally Share My Full Piece For The @curtaincallzine!!! I Had Sosososo Much Fun Making

I never quite nailed down 1-to-1 parallels for the rest of the cast but I always saw Iris as Leporello (servant who got in over their head) and Phoenix and Edgeworth as Donna Anna and Don Ottavio (seeking vengeance for the murder/ boyfriend of the person seeking vengeance). I think Pearls and Godot could work as Zerlina and Donna Elvira but it's more about being tricked than being seduced obv. So i guess that makes Maya..... Masetto? There is also a world in which Maya and Franziska are Zerlina and Masetto if only to make "batti batti" absolutely hysterical djhshdjh. Misty Fey could also work as the Commedatore but I feel like this game as a whole is more about Mia? That's just cause i like her more tho tbh

10 months ago
Based On Voting So Far, It’s Looking Like The Majority Of Y'all:

Based on voting so far, it’s looking like the majority of y'all:

Want the event to take place on the week of Halloween, Monday Oct. 28 - Sunday *Nov.* 3

Want two prompts per day 

Don’t mind not voting on prompts / letting the host decide the final prompt list to get the prompts out more quickly 

You still have time to vote, submit prompts, and volunteer to translate or create promotional graphics for the event—click here! If you’ve already voted, you can still submit prompts and comments here.

🎃 Please spread the Halloween fun here, Twitter, discord, etc!

🎃 Find and share the event on Twitter @ BllkHalloweek!

10 months ago
'I Love You Buddy'
'I Love You Buddy'

'I love you buddy'

'You really are perfect, Bachira'

I know what you guys are.

10 months ago

Hot take but I lowkey wish isagi just got igaguri out in that first game of tag… I know it was like an important character moment for him and all but now we’re still stuck with him. This isn’t a fair comparison but imagine if Deku had the chance to axe mineta, but then axed like iida or bakugo instead


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10 months ago

clawing at the walls gnawing at my enclosure bars i need to be a boy in the way that chigiri is a boy please please please pl

Clawing At The Walls Gnawing At My Enclosure Bars I Need To Be A Boy In The Way That Chigiri Is A Boy

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10 months ago
Some Of My Favourite Blue Lock Characters!!

some of my favourite blue lock characters!!

10 months ago

Thinking about self hatred and how it's such a plague in Blue Lock. Thinking about how Rin can't look in the mirror because of how much he reminds himself of Sae, but how he tells Isagi to look at him. How even characters who think of themselves as filth get angry, how Kenyu has bursts of it, how Kaiser chokes himself. How deep down every single character in Blue Lock is begging to be loved and understood. The light in their eyes when someone believes in them and the deep pit of depression they fall into when no one does.

How Reo and Ness are hated by parts of the fandom probably BECAUSE their self hatred is so viceral and so obvious you can fucking feel it. Yet characters like Barou and Kunigami are seen as edgy because they hide their self hatred behind an equally destructive facade, a mask of controlled apathy for those around them. The way the coaches have to cradle the fragile, fragile souls of these boys while still pushing them to be better. Begging them to believe they are capable and picking them up after they pass out, stopping them from falling into the same imposter syndrome they've witnessed again and again (that even they are not immune to).

Thinking about how even Ego Jinpachi doesn't take care of himself.

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