We Stan The School's Bathroom Graffiti *the Side Says "not All Women Have Periods"* Let's See How Long

When you’re in the middle of a binge and you realize what you’ve done 🤡🤡

Logic

Me: So one cookie?

Anorexia: Not if you want to be skinny

Anxiety: What if you want more after one?

Depression: it’s not like you’ll be able to loose weight anyway, might as well eat all the cookies

Logic: You’ve already burned off all the calories you’re going to eat from that one cookie, it’s not going to do anything to you except maybe make you a little bloated-

Me: SKinNi NOW

https://www.instagram.com/p/BiHSM06nSbd/

Me: *considers eating a healthy snack thats literally 2 fucking calories*

Ana and Mia:

This is??? So sweet??? Fuck that family tho tbh

Cute Things the Signs Do

Aries: They get excited about something and then start talking faster and faster until they can hardly keep up with themself

Taurus: They use a ‘baby voice’ whenever they talk to their pets (some would do this in front of the president, and others would take the secret to their grave)

Gemini: Anticipates cliché pickup lines before they’re said but still flattered by them

Cancer: Laughs at their own jokes

Leo: Scared of the tiniest bugs

Virgo: Is sad when the sushi isn’t round

Libra: Ticklish asf

Scorpio: Still likes foods like chicken nuggets, goldfish crackers, and fruit roll-ups made for children

Sagittarius: They absolutely melt if/when you play with their hair

Capricorn: Won’t look you in the eye after they’ve rejected you for anything because they can’t stand to see you sad

Aquarius: They claim to hate being fawned over but actually enjoy it

Pisces: Would sacrifice themself to save the polar bears

So, I’ve been pulled over a few times in my life. Not many, but a few. And I’ve also been in a couple of cars that got pulled over. And let me tell you, if you were actually doing something wrong, the officer doesn’t make any small talk, just straight into “I clocked you doing 70 in a 55.” The only time I’ve ever gotten the “do you know why I pulled you over?” was the time when I wasn’t doing anything wrong, and I got let go even though he insisted to the end that I was doing 87 in a 70 (white privilege at work).

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

But there’s another trap, that I’ve heard of but haven’t yet experienced. It’s “do you know how fast you were going?” With that one, they’re hoping you’ll say no, because then they can name whatever speed they want – you just said you didn’t know how fast you were going, if you deny the speed they name then you’re lying to them.

L👀K AT THIS BABY !! ISNT SHE CUTE ?! SHES FUDGY AF TOO !!!

45 CAL MUG CAKE

This one’s chocolate & cinnamon flavour y’all.

This is a recipe I adapted from another recipe bc it was shit soo, here goes:

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon flour (28cal)

1/2 teaspoon baking powder (0cal)

1 teaspoon cacao powder (approx. 15cal, I used that raw Mayan superfood stuff but I’m sure any unsweetened cocoa powder would work)

1 teaspoon cinnamon (0cal, this wasn’t in the OG recipe but cinnamon has a laxative effect on me so bonus points for gettin muh bowels moooovin)

2 tablespoons zero cal sweetener (0cal)

1 tablespoon water (0cal, this was milk in the original recipe but milk is a ~fear food~ of mine so idfw milk)

Method:

Mix all the dry ingredients together (flour, baking powder, cacao powder, cinnamon, & sweetenerrr) and get rid of the floor/baking powder lumps cos they taste gross if they’re left in. It makes sort of a brown powder lookin thing.

Add the water and mix well until it’s smooooooooth af bby.

Microwave for 50 seconds.

Let it cool (it’s really fuckin hot) and enjoy! This is the most important step bitches.

This shit’s b o m b when you’re craving cake cos it’s just about the same texture and has a similar taste. You can of course add some vanilla extract if you wanna be ~fancy~, but I didn’t have any and I’m too lazy to go to the store lmao.

can u maybe do a blacklight stimboard 👉👈