4:51 Am

When did every love song

Become about us?

Each smile

Each tear

Each softspoken word

Drives me mad

You are the melody

And the harmony

You are the song in my head

I just have to wonder

Am i your everything

Too?

Lilac words

And lavender hallucinations

Illuminate a world

That is better off

Without me in it

Bye, Deciever

Listen close

Carefully

I have to say something

But you wont want to hear it

Anymore than i want to say it.

I want to be more

Than you will let me be.

So please

Give me time

This time

Wait- are you listening?

This is what i mean

I need you to understand

I need you to see

I am small,

You've made me this way

I am meant to be invincible

But you got in the way.

I know you've been hur- are you joking?

This is my point!

You ignore me

You restrain me

Then you slaughter my pride.

Do you understa- LISTEN!

It takes more courage

Then i have to say this

But i will

Because i must

So if you ever loved me

Listen now

To my final words

That is, for you

Goodbye

Somewhere deep

In this scaffolding of bones

My heart aches

For love

And the stars

Tonight lets dance

Like daffodils

In a hurricane

Beautiful, flying

Braving the gusts

Of wind

That threaten to tear us

Apart

I find that i am tired

Of being tired

And that i am wishing

My wishes would come true

I am constantly praying

That my prayers will be heard

And that i am always writing

About the pain of words

Tired Thoughts

Some thoughts from my sleep deprived brain on colorblindness:

What if colorblind people are actually seeing things right, and everybody else is actually colorblind?

What if colorblind people can actually see a totally different color and we just call it purple or something?

What if colorblind people are piercing some sort of visible veil, seeing stuff that nobody else can?

I inhale lemon.

A sweet breath

That ushers in my sleep,

So then i waver

Into a state

Filled with nothing

Except the scent

Of tangerine dreams.

Without ambition one starts nothing. Without work one finishes nothing. The prize will not be sent to you. You have to win it.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

how do you feel now? where did you go? was it really necessary that i lose you in order to grow?

Jhené Aiko Efuru Chilombo, 2Fish