Stupid Goddamn Rules 🙄🥲

Reasons I’ve heard why Princess Kate is “missing” in no particular order:

• BBL

• facelift

• prepping for going on The Masked Singer

• growing out a bad fringe

• mental breakdown (possibly due to William knocking up Rose Hanbury)

• going on drag race All Stars (courtesy of Bianca Del Rio)

• they’re getting a divorce

•induced coma

• she’s straight up just dead and the royals are just digitally “weekend at Bernie’s”-ing us

• she’s moved to a small town and has met a man who doesn’t know she’s a princess and is teaching her the real joy of Christmas.

• she’s recovering from abdominal surgery on medical advice (booooooo)

the thing about dan and phil fans is we represent both the decidedly worst aspect of rpf and the absolute best case end scenario. dan and phil suffered more than any other "target" of rpf because not only are they one of the most shipped pairings of all time, they're also online celebrities and thus saw most of the shit their fans were posting. but at the same time they're also the only truly big rpf ship that ended up being actually real

sometimes im embarrassed to admit i like dan and phil but then i remember that they are the literally embodiment of true love and I'm not embarrassed anymore

*insert that one photo of the lesbians doing makeup*

What a power couple....

Dan has been extra pretty princess recently

Some important phannie vocabulary and phrases (in no particular order):

Words:

Craft/Crafting

Babuse

Phouse

Phass

Ladydoor

Yap/Yapping

Protip

Bub/Bubby

Microwave

Placenta

Glabella

Slit

Llama

Susan

Whisk

Lion

Whiskers

Ribena

Phivorce

Delia Smith

Capital£ester

Uma Thurman

Melapples

Lexicon

Literally

Onomatopoeia

Phrases:

It hits different

Heart eyes Howell

Love eyes Lester

"This guy"

Hey buddy

You in London?

Hobbit hair

Something something night changes

Phil trash #1

All or nothing

Girl in Prague

Breaking the sound barrier

Hello, my name is {Dan}

Try new things

Reasons why Dan's a fail (yay)

Right in the Florida

Dip and Pip

The builders

What can I say?

Inserts:

Ph-*insert almost anything here*

*Insert literally anything here*-ussy

The *insert noun here* fic

Get the *insert noun here* out for the lads

You will get through this *insert noun here*

Please leave additional words and/or phrases in the tags and I will have them to the list! <3

Phil's "we've known each other our whole lives" AU

phouse and phivorce are such good echolalias, made all the funnier by them not actually including the dan part of phan at all