Dan, Susan And Carl Are Not Real. They Are Featureless Limbless Cartoon Balls In A Video Game. It’s

Sister Daniel and Father Philip

Everytime Phil made Dan break character during Dystopia Daily

phouse and phivorce are such good echolalias, made all the funnier by them not actually including the dan part of phan at all

Reasons I’ve heard why Princess Kate is “missing” in no particular order:

• BBL

• facelift

• prepping for going on The Masked Singer

• growing out a bad fringe

• mental breakdown (possibly due to William knocking up Rose Hanbury)

• going on drag race All Stars (courtesy of Bianca Del Rio)

• they’re getting a divorce

•induced coma

• she’s straight up just dead and the royals are just digitally “weekend at Bernie’s”-ing us

• she’s moved to a small town and has met a man who doesn’t know she’s a princess and is teaching her the real joy of Christmas.

• she’s recovering from abdominal surgery on medical advice (booooooo)

?

the current state of the Phandom

i just- why

*insert that one photo of the lesbians doing makeup*

asking the important questions