You Know What We Need? More Bleach Fics And More Bleach Smut.

🍭 Warning: Messy smut of all kind. nsfw.

🍭 Sensually and suggestively sucking on a lollipop during a meeting and making eye contact with him the entire time as you stand at the back of the crowd.

🍭 Victims: Szayelaporro, Grimmjow, Starrk, Askin, Bazz-B, Ryuken

Post-meeting Briefing. Espada and Quincy Edition.

Soul Reaper Captains edition here

Szayelaporro doesn't even wait for the meeting to end. You are standing in the back of the room, something creepy crawls up your leg under your pant legs and injects itself into your wet folds, tearing through the fabric of your panties because damn thing is alive. You drop the lollipop and squeal. The closest to you turn their heads from the sudden disturbance and distraction. You bite your lower lip and silently orgasm, his grin and eyes locked on you the entire time.

Grimmjow impatiently waits for the damn meeting to end, unable to concentrate and focus. You seductively deep-throat the lollipop while standing at the back of the crowd. No one noticed you except for Grimmjow. The man is itching to scratch your insides with his throbbing dick. The lollipop is licked to the last bite, and the meeting finally ends. He eventually does end up chasing you down the hallway like a maniac and pins you down on the floor, hard dick slaps you across the face and he deep throats you until your vision becomes blurry. He foolishly thinks you learned your lesson until you try it again at the next meeting, not with one, but two lollipops. Licking back and forth between the two before taking them both into your mouth, cheeks poking out like a chipmunk, eagerly waiting for your next punishment. Two lollipops? What the hell were you implying now?

Starrk doesn't seem bothered. He passes you a glance and watches you lick the handy treat as if you were licking his dick under the table. You know it is bothering him, but he shows no emotions. He looked tired as the meeting dragged on for an hour. And once the meeting finished, you followed behind him, waiting for his reaction. He gives you a yawn and curls up on his mountain of pillows. You pout and sit beside him, poking his cheeks, demanding attention. Too late. He is already out. So you help yourself. Pulling out his painfully hard cock out of his pants, you shake your head in disbelief as he would choose sleep over a blow job. Why not have both? He doesn't seem to mind.

Askin had to do a double-take when you flashed him a brightly coloured lollipop, red 40, his nemesis. He didn't like artificial dyes because he could taste the chemical aftertaste. He passed you a thumbs down, disapproving of your bad taste, but you continued with your actions regardless. The point was to tease him during the meeting, not to judge your palate. He had to fix your mistake and offer your taste buds something more 'sophisticated'. His dick. And so he had you on your knees, guiding his hard 'coated' cock all the way down your throats because the taste buds do happen to linger far beyond the oral cavity. What do you taste? Pomegranate. A good natural replacement for red 40.

Bazz-B just endures it. He surprisingly, quietly endures it while you tease him with a ‘thick’ long lollipop that is thicker than the girth of his dick. He knows what game you are playing and the silent insults you are throwing at him. So he just patiently endures it until the end of the meeting. The silence worries you. And he doesn't say another word about it until the next day and another meeting. Before the meeting started, he shoved you under the table and unzipped his pants, pulling out his flaccid cock. And you went to work, trying to be discreet and sneaky, legs of other high-ranking Qunicies slowly surround you as they take their seats at the table. You suck and choke, tears down your cheek when he forces himself balls deep down your throat. Now, who was thicker? His balls or the lollipop?

Ryuken was finishing up a staff meeting at his hospital. He didn't expect to see you performing a vulgar tongue dance at the back of the staff room. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. A staff member asked if he was alright. “A headache” was his quick reply. He wasn't lying. After the staff meeting, he entered an empty treatment/exam room. You followed without an invitation. The open door was the invitation. He pushed you on top of the exam table and had his way, a quickie before his next patient. The next patient was already waiting in the waiting room. It was fast and quick. Time was ticking, and he was known as a punctual doctor. You pulled up your pants, cum leaking down your legs and before you exit the room, you stick your hand in the jar of lollipops and help yourself, passing him a wink-- 'until next time'.

Cat Aizen joined the kitty club 🐈

He would be 100% a Maine Coon.

Hey whatcha watching?

So uhm... I'll explain...

These two are awfully similar...

...and they're both linked to Gorillaz

...that's all

Food for Thought - Chapter 3: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! (A Dessert After Midnight)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Summary: You often wonder why you feel so alone even when you spend time with other people. An outsider even in a packed room. But a chance work project with Urahara Kisuke provides a strange comfort... so strange that you continue to spend time with him after your project is over.

CW: self-esteem issues, kissing, alcohol consumption, embarassment

Read on AO3 here.

Monday scaries were very real to you. As your alarm rang, you rushed through your apartment trying to get ready. Thankfully your commute wasn’t long, and you were at your desk in no time.

You weren’t the first one in the office, but as others trickled in, you nodded to them as you began to focus on your work for today.

“How was your weekend?” Hanatarou asked innocuously.

“My weekend,” your brain flashed at the thought of you making out with Kisuke yesterday, your face heating up in the process. “Um, well, it was fine! Nothing new or exciting” you laughed nervously.

Hantarou nodded, “sometimes you need those weekends. I had the same as well.” You thanked the heavens that Hanatarou minded his own business, as he got into his own work for the day.

The two of you, and the rest of your unit, were so engrossed in work. You were absorbed with your analyses and debugging that you didn’t realize it was lunchtime already. You glanced at your phone and saw a text from Kisuke. Sighing deeply, you closed your phone; you weren’t ready to face him.

But your stomach growled as you went back to your work. It was no use working on an empty stomach. You peered over your cubicle and whispered, “Hanatarou, why don’t we have lunch together?” To which he nodded. The two of you went to a place he preferred to eat at.

Kisuke frowned as he saw that you didn’t read his message. Lunch was ticking away, and you didn’t respond.

You were ignoring him.

As Kisuke left his office, he wandered through the halls to the balcony overseeing some of the other units, where he noticed you and another employee. He narrowed his eyes as you were laughing at something your companion had said.

Kisuke didn’t like the relaxed look on the man’s face. Or the way you were at ease around the man. Kisuke walked back to his office, his computer screen mirroring yours as he looked through your files. He set an alarm on his phone for a few hours from now, as he went back to his project.

You got out of your seat and stretched your back, sighing as you saw the time, 2:30… still have some ways to go. You wondered about getting a coffee to stretch out your legs.

“There you are,” your body tensed as you turned around, Kisuke at the entrance to your unit, “I texted you, but you didn’t respond.” He sheepishly laughed.

You could see some of your coworkers’ gaze curiously at him and then back at you.

No, no, no! I don’t want this attention. You began to panic. “I didn’t see it, sorry – I had lunch with Hanatarou today.” Hanatarou nodded his head politely at Kisuke, before returning to his work, his headphones blasting music.

“I didn’t text about lunch,” Kisuke smiled, playing it cool. Your face got warmer as you fished for your phone. His text to you was sincere, “I hope you have a good day today. Yesterday was fun. Hope we can talk sometime later in the day.”

And now you feel guilty. Why am I avoiding him?

“I came by asking if you wanted some coffee?”

Without saying a word, you grabbed your things and pushed him out into the hallway. Kisuke grinned as he held your hand. You shook his hand from yours as the two of you made your way towards the elevators. You were frazzled by his appearance, but didn’t say anything, looking at the ground away from him. Your face felt hot again as memories of yesterday flooded your mind.

But the ding of the elevator snapped you back to reality. You were on autopilot as you pushed the down button – Kisuke was talking, but you weren’t registering what he was saying.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he laughed.

“Huh? Sorry, what was it?” You asked, confused.

“Let’s date.” He gave a sly smile, leaning down. Your heart raced as you tried to comprehend what he just said. Date? Me?! No way. Nope. Nope.

“That’s not a question.” You blurted out. But before he could respond, the elevator pinged opened, and you quickly jumped in.

Unfortunately for Kisuke, but fortunately for you, other people had the same idea of leaving the building for a break. People were chatting away as the elevator dinged along, while you and Kisuke stood next to each other in silence.

Once the elevator reached ground level, you immediately rushed through and quickly walked as Kisuke tried to catch up to you. He frowned that you weren’t looking at him – he had to change his plan.

“I have another recipe I want to try.”

“I don’t believe you.” You remarked, still refusing to look at him. You bolted into the coffee shop, with Kisuke fast behind you.

As you stood in line, you felt guilt welling up inside you. Kisuke was trying to talk to you, and for all intents and purposes, he probably was as flustered as you. Shouldn’t you give him a chance?

You took a deep breath, the line slowly moving in front of you. You turned to Kisuke, “let’s talk more once we grab our drinks, ok?”

“Alright, but I’m paying.”

You couldn’t say no to that.

The two of you walked to a parkette near the office. It was a big enough space that people can pass freely through, and it gave you enough space to talk freely in private. You sipped your drink as Kisuke drank his. No words spoken between you two as you stared at the small fountain in the centre of the park.

“So… what’s this recipe you wanna try this time?” You asked, giving him a glance.

“How do you feel about oyakodon?” Kisuke asked, taking another sip.

Your eyes immediately lit up, “it’s one of my favourites!”

Kisuke gave a small smile as he saw your reaction, “it’s mine too, actually.” He lied.

“I’m more than happy to teach you then.” You gave a shy smile, “just no… funny business, ok?”

“Funny business? What do you mean?” He teased, inching closer towards you. Your body felt warm again, as you struggled with the different thoughts racing through your mind.

He’s just being a jerk.

But what if he isn’t lying?

No one really likes me.

And with that thought, you didn’t notice you gave a sad smile. Kisuke frowned.

Your mind raced and drifted between your insecurity and hope. “Do you want to come over Saturday or Sunday next weekend?” You asked.

“Let’s do Saturday, I’ll bring the groceries again.” Kisuke gave a small smile.

“You can just buy the chicken, I already have the other ingredients.” You said, making a note in your phone – this time you won’t be surprised.

You knew you should head back to the office, but you wanted to stay with him some more. “I can’t stay for long, so I’m gonna go back up.”

Kisuke nodded, a lazy smile on his face, “don’t keep me waiting tomorrow” he teased.

What happened next surprised him – you gave him a quick goodbye kiss on the cheek and dashed back inside. He lightly touched the spot where your lips were, a blush growing across his face. For once he was shocked, surprised even – what a curious woman he thought.

You felt flushed and anxious as you went back to your cubicle. You chugged your coffee as you quickly skimmed your emails and work messages. No, you totally didn’t kiss Kisuke goodbye, nope. It was just you slipping forward and your lips coincided with his cheek.

Your face got hotter after realizing what you had done. You quickly reached for your phone, typing an apology to him, but you stopped typing as you saw him typing something.

“Next time, you can greet me with a kiss too” he texted, a laughing emoji followed.

Your face had never felt this hot before. You decided to turn off your phone and go back to work.

After work, you agreed to grab drinks with Rangiku and whoever she could wrangle to join for a Monday night bar run. With what had transpired during your afternoon break, you wanted a drink to ease your nerves. You sat with her in a booth, a few glasses between you two, as the two of you watched Izuru and Shuhei from the Legal and Compliance division play a drinking game.

Maybe I should ask Rangiku about what I should do you thought to yourself.

You took a large sip of your drink, the alcohol burning your throat.

“Woah, not like you to drink that much that quickly!” Rangiku commented.

“I have a question –“ you felt a bit lightheaded, but kept going, “and if it’s personal, don’t answer it.” You took another large gulp of your drink.

Rangiku’s eyes widened, and then she gave a sly smile, “what do you wanna know?”

“How long did it take for you and your partner to have your first kiss.”

Rangiku blinked at the question, then gave a hearty laugh.

“I’m serious!”

“I know, I know!” She said, fanning herself, “it’s just a cute question.”

You remained silent, waiting for her to answer.

“I think it just… happened?” She shrugged her shoulders. “There wasn’t a particular thing we were doing, there wasn’t anything special we had done” she said, her eyes softening. “We were just in my apartment watching a movie and I thought how lucky I was to have someone who made me so happy” Rangiku giggled, “and it didn’t help that he’s so handsome.” She lowered her voice, a gentle smile on her face as she reminisced, “I just gave him a big kiss then.”

“How long did it take you to kiss him?”

“My, my, is there someone you want to kiss?” Rangiku teased.

“NO!” You shouted, getting the attention of Izuru and Shuhei, you gave a nervous laugh.

Rangiku raised her eyebrows, but was too curious to stop, “you can tell me…”

You downed the remaining alcohol in your glass, coughing from the burn, all the alcohol you consumed was finally hitting you at full force, “yes – I like kissing him a lot.” You mumbled, mishearing her question.

“Who?”

But the alcohol was too much for you at this point. You couldn’t focus on Rangiku or her question, the room felt like it was spinning. Rangiku frowned and immediately called a ride home for you.

Rangiku was surprised you held in your alcohol for the duration of the ride. You seemed, content, staring off out the window of the car. She didn’t press further about who your crush was, but she also couldn’t hold back her curiosity.

Thankfully your home wasn’t far from the bar. She kept you close, worried you would stumble around.

“Does he know you like kissing him?” Rangiku asked as the two of you approached your unit.

“No… he probably thinks I don’t like him.” You mumbled; your eyes began to water.

“Why don’t you tell him you like him?” She asked, helping you take off your shoes.

“’s too hard…” you muttered, “He probably doesn’t like me…”

Rangiku sighed loudly, “I wish you saw yourself the way me, and this lucky guy, sees you.” She gave you a tight hug, petting your hair. “Sometimes you’re your own worst enemy.” She scolded, dragging you to your bedroom.

“Fine… fine,” you grumbled as you reached for your phone.

Your eyes were getting heavy and tired, but luckily Kisuke was still at the top of your messages. Rangiku could only watch as you mumbled and typed something into your phone, then fall over into your bed.

Rangiku gently smiled as she tucked you in, “I hope you dream of your lover boy.”

You woke up to the sound of birds chirping and an incredibly dry mouth. You jolted out of bed, feeling the immediate rush of pain.

You remembered drinking with Rangiku, and her helping you home. You grabbed your phone to thank her for last night.

But the colour of your face drained when you saw what you had texted last night.

“I really, really like kissing you.”

“A LOT.”

Kisuke Urahara had read your messages.

Thanks for your patience and to @worldsetfree for beta-reading this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy this :D.

Have a ghostie onigiri

#ghostface

Shinji would say this to his girl when she's feeling insecure ☝️☝️☝️☝️ i refuse to believe otherwise

Shinji's dub voice actor in TYBW does a good job, but I MISS HIS OLD VOICE ACTOR SO MUCH <\3 THE SONIC VOICE WAS SO SEXY IDCCCC

I mourn this every day.

"Smartasses get killed. We always see to that." - The Legion

Based on this wonderful request from my baby girl @tomitsulikeslemons !!!! DADDY SHINJI (literally)

🤰

Somehow, you knew there was new life growing inside of you. A woman's intuition, you supposed, but the positive test result in front of you confirmed it.

You were pregnant with your husband, Shinji Hirako's child.

At this verified discovery, a flurry of emotions hit you at once, and you began to sob. Overwhelmed, you sank to your knees in the bathroom as you tried to comprehend what this meant, your world flipped upside down without the need for your husband's zanpakuto. You were ready and you were not, excited and terrified, confident and insecure. One moment you were smiling, crying happily and laughing through your tears, and the next your brows were furrowing together, worry tugging at your heart that what if you weren't a good mother? What was going to happen to you now that you were going to be responsible for another human? Were you a bad person for thinking these things? No, you were happy. So, so happy. Putting your hand on your belly, you hadn't met your child yet, and you already had so much love for them, more love than you had for anything or anyone else in this world.

And speaking of love, Shinji, you breathed, your silly Shinji, your other half, the father of your child, what would he think?

You had talked about having children with him, so the concept wasn't entirely foreign, but you weren't exactly trying per se. He never disapproved of the idea, but this was sure to be overwhelming for him too. How would he take this?

He'd been so busy as a Captain now, you hadn't even got around to telling him that night. Or the next. It wasn't until the third night that the truth became too heavy for you to carry on your own.

He was being stupid and oblivious, too busy thinking with his dick and trying to get you out of your clothes. The kind of behavior that got you in this situation in the first place, he initially didn't notice your anxious mannerisms.

But your dearest wasn't a complete moron as so many thought of him. Observant, sensitive, and intuitive, when he snaked his arms around you from behind, you felt him still.

"Wait a minute," he whispered before spinning you around to face him, pressing a hand into your chest to confirm his suspicions. "You're shaking, and your heart's racing. Sweetheart?"

The jig was up. You tried to smile, but it came out crooked and frightened. It only made his face further contort with worry.

"I have something to tell you," you confessed timidly.

Shinji frowned deeply and released you. "Oh, shit. Please don't divorce me."

You couldn't help but scoff at him. "You dork! I'm not going anywhere!" He always had a way of making you laugh when you needed it most, but you couldn't keep putting this off. You exhaled shakily, "actually, it's quite the opposite..."

The poor, confused bastard. He raised an eyebrow at you, not quite following. "The opposite? The opposite..." He narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Shinji." Exasperated, you grabbed the hand he dropped from your heart, splaying his fingers over your stomach. "I'm pregnant."

His narrowed eyes shot open, brightening at your words. He looked at your tummy, as if he'd already find a bulge there, then back up at you again, then back down, then back up. He was being so quiet, your man who normally never shut up, it unnerved you. You were raising your eyebrows at him expectantly, needing him to say something, anything.

Then he was kneeling before you, putting both of his hands on your stomach, in disbelief that his child, his, was growing somewhere in there. "No way," he breathed, smoothing his palms over the surface of your torso. "You're pregnant? Really?" He looked up from where he knelt, his sharp features gone soft.

"Mhm." You nodded, smiling gently, his softness contagious.

Shinji looked at your belly again, gasping in disbelief, processing your words. His silence again worried you, made you reach for his hair and tangle your fingers through it, hoping to get his attention.

He shot up from where he knelt, startling you, scooping you into his arms and spinning you around in a flash, whooping and hollering maniacally. He placed you back on your feet to hug you and deliver sloppy, innocent smooches all over your face, smothering you.

He pulled back, panting, holding you by your shoulders. "I knew I was a sharp shooter, but this - this!" He shook you, laughing. "Holy shit! I'm gonna be a dad! I'm really gonna be a dad!" He chanted, grinning wide. "And you!" His voice broke off as he curled a hand around your jaw, looking utterly soft and kissable again. "Oh, my little mommy! My sweet baby's havin' a baby! My baby's gonna be a mommy!"

Emotion exploded almost painfully in your chest as you were reminded of that fact for a second time. You were going to be a mother, and him a father. The father of your child. The statement didn't seem true, but alas, it was. His excitement made tears spring from your eyes all over again. Your lip wobbled but strained into a smile as you joined in his laughter. He understood the weight of your emotions, pulling you into his chest in a suffocating embrace to sob it out. He rubbed your back and thought aloud over and over again, "I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna be parents."

You stayed in his arms for a long time, standing there, and then in bed, relishing in the comfort and safety you felt when you were with him. You were grateful your child would grow up to experience the same, to be loved and protected by someone so special. When you were finally calmed down enough, he had something else to say.

"I'm gonna be such a dilf."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🍁๋࣭ ⭑🍂༘⋆

The seasons were different, more meaningful, as your baby grew through each of them. The rest of the autumn and holiday season was special now that there was an impending addition to your family. As the leaves fell and the weather changed, you were reminded of the change happening within you. You frequently made and shared cozy, nourishing meals and treats with Shinji, spent more time cuddled up with him rubbing your belly and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as the evenings got darker and colder. Quality time spent with him was more frequent, slower, more deliberate.

At holiday festivals with your friends, you and Shinji had to find ways to cover the fact that you weren't throwing back drinks as you normally would, being that the pregnancy was still only in the beginning stages and you had yet to break the news to them. You were never alone, your husband always at your side, careful, calculating, safeguarding.

"Oh, she's not feeling well tonight," he'd speak for you, protectively slinging an arm around your shoulder and tugging you into his side, glaring at the person prodding you.

On the occasion that he let you respond, you'd save yourself with something as simple and uncomfortable as "ah, I've been putting on some pounds recently, and I'm trying to cut back on the extra calories," pretending that you were ashamed of your growing stomach when really you were elated.

"Yeah, you are looking a little more filled out these days," Soi Fon replied impassively when you told her this, making your jaw drop despite the fact that you were mostly lying.

"What the hell does that mean?" You had to pull Shinji back from getting into an argument with her, nervously laughing it off and excusing her blunt nature.

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Then came the harsh winter, and you didn't mind so much being stuck indoors this year. You enjoyed staying at home with your little bun in the oven, taking long, warm baths, lighting candles, asking Shinji to bring you home whatever you were craving that day. You were actually starting to fill out now, and so you shared the news with a few close compatriots in the new year.

"Oh, congratulations!" Orihime beamed, hugging you, holding your hand, and talking your ear off about motherhood, being that she already had a little boy with Ichigo.

"Yeah, congrats." Ichigo smiled in agreement, proudly slapping Shinji on the back. "Little scary that Hirako's gonna be a dad, but congrats!"

"HEY!" Your husband frowned.

Rukia asked you about the gender as she watched her own little girl playing with Renji, if you had a preference for a boy or girl. You explained that you and Shinji agreed to let the gender be a surprise, coming up with a variety of names should your child be a boy or girl. You'd both be happy no matter who your child turned out to be, gracious that you were even blessed enough to have a child at all, or so Shinji told you. For every boy name he came up with, there were 3 more girl names. You never nagged him about it, but you had the inkling he wanted to be a girl dad.

Now that people were starting to find out, he was increasingly going all "dad mode," as he called it, not caring who was around to witness it. Shinji always had a bit of a protective streak, but now...you couldn't so much as step outside without him rushing to your side, holding your hand or arm to help you along.

"You could slip on ice!" He'd reason.

"My love, it's nearly fifty degrees out today. There's no ice."

You couldn't blame his overprotective behavior much. You were going through a lot of behavioral changes as well, much worse than anything he was.

For one, you had become incredibly needy for him. It was odd. You'd thought you wouldn't want to be touched being that you were swelling up, but on the contrary, you were constantly in heat, begging for him to satisfy you no matter the place or time.

"You sure you want this? What if I accidentally poke junior?" He'd grin and tease you.

"You're big, but you're not that big, Shinji. Just fuck me already."

"Ouch. So impatient, momma," he tsked. "But I guess I've got to take care of my wife, don't I?"

And for another thing, you were a rollercoaster of uncontrollable emotions, especially the more your pregnancy progressed. You were constantly snapping over the smallest of irritants or bursting into tears over minor inconveniences, like the day Shinji brought you a tray of sushi in an attempt to cheer you up after you were already having a particularly difficult day.

"You idiot! I can't have sushi!" You shouted at him, heated with fury over such a small matter and with the effort it took to fight off tears.

"Ah, forgot about that." Shinji scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, dumbly.

It made you explode, a cascade of waterworks streaming down your cheeks. Another thing that had changed was how much softer he was with you, if it was even possible for him to get any more so, despite how bitchy you had been. So then you were crying because of your hot-temper, hurt curling around and squeezing your heart at the helpless way he looked when you yelled at him.

"I'm being so mean to you! I'm so sorry! I'm a horrible wife!"

"What?! No!" He'd pet your hair and kiss your tears away. "If anything, I deserved it. I am an idiot for getting you sushi. Wasn't thinkin', doll. I'm sorry."

Shinji had learned a lot of patience through the months, and it made him a better man in every aspect of his life, not just at home. He was never the most tightly-wound, but he had mellowed out considerably as he took care of you and his unborn child each day, growing into a gentle guardian before you had even given birth.

"He's been so calm lately," Momo informed you over lunch one day. "Training has been a lot less strenuous. Everyone on the squad keeps joking that they hope you stay pregnant forever," she giggled.

"Glad I could be of help," you giggled along with her.

˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧💌˚.⋆🌿

When the spring came, you were much bigger, getting ready to blossom just as the season was. As it got warmer and sunnier, Shinji made a show of shading you wherever you went, protecting your sensitive skin from the sun, and on those stormy days, he stayed inside with you, making you comfort food and falling asleep with his head in your lap as you read aloud or listened to music, introducing your child to the art you loved so much.

The fickle weather reminded you of your inner world, the way one day you'd wake up sunny, full of joy and love and readiness to meet your baby, and the next, stormy, full of trepidation and worry and unpreparedness, fretting constantly over the questions you had been asking yourself since day one: Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to handle this? Am I a bad person for being so afraid? For feeling so unprepared? Should I be doing more?

Shinji was always there to listen and coax you out of the storm, massaging your sore back as the rain fell outside, he'd confess his own worries.

"I feel the same way," he'd say. "Some days, I feel on top of the world, like I can do anything, and fatherhood won't be any different, but other days, not so much. I'm anxious about being a good father too.

"But we're in this together." He placed his hands over your stomach in the shape of a heart. "And I know you'll be a great mother, so why shouldn't I be a great father too?"

"You will be a great father. You already are," you assured him sincerely.

Your baby stirred inside as if to say, "yes, he is! Yes you are!"

"OH, OH! SHE KICKED! SHE KICKED!" Shinji shrieked, feeling around in hopes of catching another flurry of movement.

"She?!" You laughed excitedly.

"Or he. I don't know, it just slipped out." He chuckled abashedly.

You smiled knowingly to yourself. "Maybe she's excited about hearing her daddy talk so sweet."

"Yeah, maybe." He smiled.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Now came summer, and you were about to pop. It was as if an eternity passed and simultaneously, no time passed at all. You were changed and you weren't. You remembered the day you found out like yesterday, feeling almost exactly the way you did that day, but more matured. One thing was for sure, no matter how scared you were, you were ready. You'd never felt more ready for anything in your life, bursting with love and impatience, needing to meet your child, whoever they were, whoever they'd become.

Shinji felt the same way, and he had become equal parts amusing and annoying as you approached your due date.

"You think today's the day?" "How you feelin'? How's our girl...or boy?" "What was that?! Are you having contractions?!"

You laughed at him. "No, I just stubbed my toe."

You surprised yourself with how calm you were even though you were soon to be ripped open. Sitting outside under an umbrella next to Shinji, you were sucking on a popsicle, enjoying the hot day when there was a faint cramping sensation in your abdomen, so light, you hardly noticed and ignored it.

But then it was there again several minutes later, a little more noticeable this time. You straightened in your seat, which caught Shinji's attention, always on high alert.

"What is it?" He asked urgently, staring at your large, round stomach.

"Just a little cramping." You forced a smile.

He gave you a pointed look.

"I don't think we should panic yet. My body's doing funny things all the time." You waved a hand dismissively. "And I haven't finished my popsicle."

It was barely a moment later, Shinji hadn't even a chance to retort, that you were straightening again, gasping as pain shot up your back, making you drop your popsicle.

Your husband shot to his feet. "We're going," he demanded, pulling you up to stand. "Better safe than sorry."

The last thing you saw before being ushered away was your popsicle melting against the concrete, leaving a red stain. And it was a good thing, that he was permanently in dad mode, stealing you away from your quiet day and your treat, because you were indeed going into labor.

The long hours that followed were a fast-paced blur. The peaceful summer day was suddenly bursting with feeling and noise, the cold air conditioning inside the hospital fighting against your sweaty skin, strange sensations and haziness. You could hardly process what was going on, blinded with pain, the only person who grounded you was Shinji, your rock. He sounded distant, but he reminded you over and over again that he wasn't.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

All the pain, the damage inflicted on your body, the blood, sweat, and tears, it was all worth it the moment your baby came out, and your life had finally changed for the better, a love like you had never felt before truly coming to fruition as reality shifted in front of you. You'd do it all again. You'd take this feeling, this unconditional love, and bottle it up to carry with you forever if you could.

"It's a boy!" The doctor cheered.

When you finally got to hold your baby boy, nothing else mattered. The entire world was in your hands, so fragile and so precious that it made you sob uncontrollably in your exhausted and delirious state, cooing to him as he cried, talking to him and telling him how beautiful he was, how much you loved him.

It was extremely rare that Shinji ever cried, and now, there were silent tears streaming down his face, in shock that he played a part in creating this beautiful, little boy. Like you, he knew this was the epitome of love in the flesh before you. You both knew the moment you saw him, you'd do anything for him.

Shinji, who didn't get to have his baby girl (yet), was so in awe of his little guy. He held him with a tenderness and reverence unlike anything you'd seen, crawling into the hospital bed with you to cuddle up as a real family. He took care of you, softly as usual, as you came back to health, and he cherished every little moment of this newborn stage, chattering nonstop to the nurses, the doctor, to you, to friends, to family, anyone who would listen about his son, his son!

"I'm in love," he confessed as he held the tiny boy at home for the first time.

"So am I."

Your son started to bob his head against Shinji's chest, looking to be fed.

Your husband passed him over to you with a smug grin. "Oh yeah, he's a ladies man for sure. Just like his daddy." He winked.

Motherhood was everything you imagined and somehow everything you hadn't all at once. Your son had challenged you, changed you, shaped you in ways you couldn't explain. You were constantly tired yet always finding it in you to go, go, go, constantly stressing but somehow relaxed as ever, knowing this was exactly where you were always meant to be.

And Shinji, he was a fantastic, eccentric, loving father, as you had no doubt he would be. Hearing him playing with your little boy and the sounds of your baby's laughter quickly became your favorite sound in the whole wide world. Your heart swelled each time you saw Shinji twirling him in the air or blowing raspberries into his chubby belly. He was a new man, matured, with quiet strength and so much affection to give, one you were so deeply in love with it was incomprehensible.

He had become great around children generally, not just your son. On play dates with the little Kurosaki and Abarai toddlers, the children would chase your husband and pull his hair and roar with laughter at his quick wit and goofy antics. You rested easy knowing your son would grow to live a vibrant life with lots of love and laughter, never a dull moment with Shinji's playful nature.

You'd never been happier, and you were grateful for every day, every moment, even those filled with stress and struggle and challenge. You continued to grow and raise your son, both happy and sad at how beautiful it was to witness but how fast it happened. Shinji bought him a toy sword and you imagined him years and years from now, with a zanpakuto of his own, getting into dangerous battles, and you already fretted over your baby boy. He'd get taller and stronger, but he'd be your baby forever.

You mourned the loss of previous baby stages as he hit each new milestone, consuming food besides milk, starting to babble, walking, talking, learning new things and amazing you with how smart he was. It was bittersweet, but it wouldn't be the last time you got to experience it as you witnessed that positive test result for the second time.

"Ready to do it again?" You asked your husband with a grin, so much changed already from the last time you told him you were pregnant, shown in the very way you revealed this to him.

"Of course I am, mommy!" Shinji lifted your son in the air. "Of course we are!" Your little boy giggled and cheered, though he didn't know yet what he was cheering for. "Though I do have a request for how to do things differently this time round..."

"And what is that?" You giggled.

"When we can, we find out the gender." He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

"You still want a girl, don't you?" You came forward, kissing your son on the cheek.

"I love my mini me so much obviously," Shinji nuzzled him affectionately, "but yeah. I do."

"Then a girl we'll have." You kissed your husband.

And you did.

(read part II with baby girl here !!!)