Shinji Hirako Fluff - Blog Posts

QUICK SHINJI IMAGINE:

I think he would hype his woman up, WHATEVER she was wearing.

"Oh, darlin' you look marvelous. C'mere." And he would twirl you and grin and whistle while smoothing his hands down your sides. 😍🤤

Based on this beautiful request from my sister wife @tomitsulikeslemons <3

Another Friday night had come and gone. It was sometime past one in the morning, the dance floor packed, vibrating with hip hop music, and colorful lights weaved through the sea of sweaty, intoxicated bodies. You and your friends had wriggled your way out of the crowd, off to have one last drink, though none of you needed it. That was evident in the way you sauntered through the stuffy air carelessly, a slant in your step, every thought, thing, person, scenario funnier than it really was, reality viewed through a different lens. By the way your friends talked and acted you knew they shared your state of mind, the trio of you fueled off one another. 

What you didn't share with them was your desire to leave this place. Dancing to the latest hits was fun for a while, but your heart craved something else. All night you'd longed for a change of scenery, a specific place in mind. Most of the bars would be closing soon. You'd shied away from bringing it up all night, but halfway through what was supposed to be your final drink, it became now-or-never.

"We should go to the jazz bar!" you announced, beaming excitedly to hide the embarrassed blush coating your cheeks. 

As expected, you were immediately met with resistance, both of your friends giving you eye rolls, exhausted groans and disapproving shakes of the head. 

"Seriously?!" One of them grumbled, unafraid to give it to you straight. "That place is sooo dead. Every time we go there it makes me want to fall asleep," she voiced dramatically. Your other friend nodded her agreement, taking a long, tired sip from her drink. 

"It's romantic and luxurious," you countered. "You just don't know how to appreciate good music." It was your turn to take a long sip now, glancing to the side and raising your eyebrows over your glass. 

"HEY!" She shouted while your other friend simultaneously accused, "oh, please, we all know you're not going for the music."

"Yes I am!" You whined defensively, though you understood immediately what she meant, especially by the shit-eating grin spreading on her face. 

"That's right," your other friend giggled, catching on, the two of them exchanging devious glances. "You only got into jazz because you want the owner's PICKLE!" She chanted the last bit, cupping her hands around her mouth for the whole club to hear, or at least those nearby. 

"It’s not true!" You hissed. "Maybe I just like going somewhere where random men aren't constantly trying to get behind me like dogs!" You took another drink from your glass, nervously chugging.

"Yeah, yeah, none of them can compare to your little jazz boyfriend, we know," your friend snorted. The other joined in her laughter, the two of them like goofy, taunting hyenas. 

"I'm - I can't - that's not even remotely true," you stammered, repeating yourself, crossing your arms over your chest, looking all too interested at the contents in your glass. 

"She's blushing!" They pointed at and prodded your cheeks. 

"My cheeks always get red when I drink!" You snapped back, swatting their hands away. 

"Okay, okay," your friend giggled, waving her hand dismissively to get you to calm down. "We'll go with you."

"Really?" 

"If," she paused for effect, "you admit you want to get the mario coins knocked out of you by the owner."

"You're insane,” you scoffed and shook your head.

"No, you are,” your other friend jumped back in. “We're your best friends! You can tell us! We make great wing women." She grinned and nudged your other friend.

"You do not-"

You were interrupted by her beginning to mock you, words you would never say, altering her voice to sound high-pitched and damsel-in-distress-y, “you’re the only one who truly understands music, Daddy!”

“Let’s listen to some of your jazz while we fuck!” Your other friend naturally went along. 

They carried on, one of them moaning and tossing her hair while the other sang a classic jazz song in a deep, cartoony voice. A group of men nearby started to look over, curious at the spectacle. It was then that you clapped your hands over each of their mouths, silencing their torment.

One of them licked your hand, causing you to recoil. "Sorry,” she giggled. “We're done."

"Well, I'm not interested in going anymore,” you pouted. 

"Don't be so stubborn,” your friend said, taking a quick sip of her drink and stirring the ice around. “Let me finish my drink. Then we can go see your man," she promised.

Your pout twitched, etching into a smile while your other friend winked at you and began to chug her glass. 

Not much later, the three of you took to the streets, staggering along to the jazz bar you adored so much. With each step you found yourself turning inward, getting in your head about your appearance and your general vibe. You hoped your makeup and hair didn’t look too run-down from the night’s activities, or that it wasn’t too obvious in your heavily-lidded eyes that you were far from sober. You even found yourself smoothing out the nonexistent wrinkles in your long, elegant dress, a piece you had picked out with the intention of ending up here later tonight. The closer you got to your destination, the more you attempted to straighten out, to walk more gracefully and practice opening lines in your mind. Your anxious thoughts only ceased when your trio clicked up to the bouncer, arms interlocked, no need to show him your IDs. You were familiar faces at this establishment after all. 

But then, he wasn’t stepping aside, didn’t lift the velvet rope and gesture you in as he normally did with a “welcome back, ladies.” He stood firm with his hands clasped, forcing a practiced frown as he said instead, "sorry ladies. We're closing up in about fifteen minutes. Can't come in."

Your heart sank. Dramatic as it was, you felt your night had been wholly ruined by this piece of information, by this denied entry. Your friends watched your enthusiastic expression fall, and one of them broke from the group immediately, clacking forward with an aggressive, steely look in her eyes that you knew all too well. 

"So? Let us in for fifteen minutes," she demanded, hands on her hips and chest puffed out. 

The bouncer towered over her, unmoving. "We can't.” He shrugged carelessly. “The doors are shut."

His resolute words made you deflate even more, but further provoked your feisty friend. "Seriously?” She shifted her weight onto one leg, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her heel against the concrete. “Where's the owner? I want him to tell us."

"No, no.” You tugged at her elbow, disconcerted by the prospect of bothering him. You pulled her back into line with you and your other friend. “It's fine. We'll go," you said decisively, not wanting to start conflict at his bar.

"Uh, no we won't.” Once she had a mission in mind, she didn’t back down. She raised a manicured pointer finger in the air. “I didn't walk all the way here to get turned away. We come here all the time, and many of those times we were here past two am! Is this how you treat valued customers?!"

The bouncer still didn’t seem to want to budge, looking bored with the three of you. He rolled his neck this way and that while your friend snapped at him, his mind likely only halfway here. It only added to your humiliation, had you angling your feet in the opposite direction, trying to nudge your friends away, but they weren’t conceding. 

"Yeah, c'mon dude, seriously,” your other friend joined in the fray. “Three young things like us?” She gestured between the three of you. “You need us in there."

"Maybe when we opened several hours ago,” he opposed, letting the slightest bit of irritation slip into his tone before regaining his composure. “I really am sorry, girls, but it's policy."

"Policy? Policy?!” That made your temperamental friend explode, her arms flailing about in the air between them. “What are you, the goddamn police?!"

"It's okay!” You pulled her back again, panicked. This had already escalated too far. “We can come another night! No big deal!” You offered a sheepish, crooked smile to the bouncer, chuckling nervously as you attempted to steer your trio away for the last time. “Sorry for the trouble."

"No!” Your friend frowned, stomping her foot childishly, not yet ready to accept defeat. “You were excited! We're not leaving!"

You sighed, exasperated and uncomfortable with so much confrontation at a place you loved so much. "I'm telling you it's-"

"Is there a problem here?" 

The four of you followed the familiar voice, like deers in headlights, peering up at the owner as he stood at the top of the stairs in front of the entrance in a wide stance, eyes narrowed down at the group of you. 

You froze at the sight of him, breath catching in your throat. 

Shinji.

"No, no boss,” the bouncer scrambled to explain, sounding much less indifferent than he had moments ago. The large man turned small in Shinji’s presence, not so tough now. “Just telling these ladies we'll be closing up soon."

His narrowed gaze slid smoothly from his employee over to the three of you. When his eyes met yours, they softened, his glare reserved for man and man only. "Oh, it's my girls."

You squeaked as your friend shoved you forward, nearly knocking you over the rope. You straightened, just like you had practiced, smiling tightly and waving bashfully up at him. 

"Hey, sweetheart,” Shinji chuckled languidly, slowly beginning his descent down the stairs towards you. “Ya coming in?"

"We're trying to,” your friend grumbled from behind, jabbing a thumb in the direction of the bouncer, eager to pin blame on him. “Are you gonna fire this guy or what?" 

"Whatever you want darlin',” Shinji laughed, unhooking the rope and ignoring his bouncer’s dumbfounded expression. “Come on, then."

Your friends giggled excitedly at the VIP treatment, as if they weren’t complaining about having to come here thirty minutes ago, prancing forward and up the stairs. You lingered behind, murmuring another “sorry” to the bouncer before you moved to follow them. 

Shinji held out his arm for you to take. “I was beginning to think I wasn’t gonna get to see ya tonight.” He eyed your figure. “Looking so pretty too.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting.” You smiled coyly, taking his arm and letting him lead you inside, careful not to trip up the stairs. 

You were met with the usual scene, dim lighting, gold, reds, purples, the woodsy aroma of whiskey mixed with cigar smoke and expensive perfumes, two men gathered in hushed conversation at the bar, a new couple huddled together in the corner playing footsies, an old one twirling with each other on the floor to a romantic tune, glimpses of lovers and loners alike on the balcony, and your friends already spinning each other around, looking wild and beautiful and catching the eyes of most men in here, however young or old. 

Shinji was not one of them, too busy with his eyes on you. “Are ya thirsty, baby doll?”

Every little variation of pet name he gave you made your chest flutter, the sweet names and phrases like doses of sugar coming from him. It gave you a rush, and you couldn’t get enough. You were an addict, constantly coming back for more. “Can I just have a water?”

“You can have whatever you like,” he responded, detaching from your side to slide behind the bar, his bartender occupied with flirtatious women at the end. 

Shinji made quick work of filling your glass, throwing in a lemon and garnishing it with a small flower. You giggled your thanks when he handed it to you, making him grin adoringly as you sipped from the pretty glass, perched in the stool across from him.  

You were working up the courage to launch into conversation with him, racking your brain for how to start calmly when he made you feel so airy and excitable, when one of his regulars was slinking up to the bar, coming to catch up before saying his goodbyes for the night.

“Hey!” Shinji beamed towards him before throwing you an apologetic look. “I’ll be back for ya,” he assured before he was off, playing the gracious owner. 

You waited impatiently for him to return, not-so-subtly watching as he got trapped in one conversation after the next, getting to know some of the unfamiliar faces before they left for the night or revisiting with returning patrons. Envy burned in your chest, observing them stealing away your time with him when you had been waiting for this all night. 

As the clock neared and then passed two am, despite the fact that Shinji never formally kicked anyone out, most people filed out on their own, some stopping him to thank him or to chat about their night or their most recent heartbreak or how their job has been so shitty and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You supposed you couldn’t blame them - Shinji was easy to talk to, attentive, humorous and ran a damn good establishment, but you couldn’t help the mounting frustration any time another straggler prevented him from making his way back to you, stealing even more precious time as the night progressed into the wee small hours of the morning. You were getting bitter, silently commanding everyone in the room to please, just leave.

Your friends sashayed their way over to you, one of them faking a yawn. “Looks like it’s closing time,” she observed, throwing you a suggestive look.

“You’re leaving?” Your brows furrowed.

“I mean, yeah,” your other friend laughed. “What? You want us to stay and watch when he…” she trailed off, making a lewd gesture with her hands.

“Didn’t realize you were into that,” they joked.

“That’s not going to happen.” You blushed deeply. “And I’m wondering if I should leave with you.” You glanced longingly in Shinji’s direction, watching him speak with an old pair who were here every week. “He seems like he’s pretty busy. I haven’t really got to talk to him all night.” You looked at your glass of melted ice sadly.

“You have to stay!” Your friend urged you. “You came here for a reason. Don’t pussy out.”

“Do you want us to stay until everybody else is gone?” Your other friend offered.

It was tempting, but you weren’t going to make them sit here with you when they were ready to go. Besides, it seemed like there were only a couple of others left aside from the old couple, and all of Shinji’s staff had already cleaned up and gone. If you were staying, surely, it wouldn’t be much longer until you got him all to yourself. Your friend was right. Now was not the time to pussy out. You’d waited this long, what was a little longer?

“That’s okay.” You smiled, getting down from your stool to hug and kiss them goodbye. “Thank you guys for coming with me.”

“You know we always will. Go get some pickle.” They smacked your butt before departing, waving teasingly to Shinji as they sidled past the chattery old people. 

At the sight of their exit, Shinji looked your way, confirming that you were still there, waiting for him. He smirked to himself before turning back to the old couple, exchanging their last words before he helped them out and down the stairs, returning to say and wave goodbye as the other few remaining people wrapped it up and left. 

It was finally just the two of you, the moment you had been wishing for all night. An upbeat jazz song echoed around the vacant space as he made his way back to your side. He looked a little delirious, dark smudges under his wandering eyes, a few more of his buttons undone, revealing more of his chest. He was probably worn out from the long night. It made him look impossibly sexier.    

“Hi,” he greeted playfully.

“Hi,” you said timidly, pushing down the feral urges rising to the surface. “Again. Those old people have a later bedtime than I do.”

Shinji grinned amusedly at your passive aggressive joke. “I’m sorry for disappearing for so long.” He snuck in closer, whispering, “did ya miss me?”

“Maybe,” you whispered back, heating up under his intense gaze.

“I sure missed you,” he confessed, bringing a hand to ghost over your waist. His eyes dropped to follow the motion. “I like this dress,” he complimented. “Yer a real knockout. I was afraid someone else was going to come and snatch you up.”

“You’re being dramatic.” You reached for your hair to smooth down the messy strands.

“I’m not,” he disagreed seriously, his voice dropping an octave. It was silent for a moment, nothing but the surround sound of jazz, and the transition into a slower and more sensual instrumental. “I really am sorry. You shouldn’t have to wait for anyone. By the way, how much trouble did my bouncer give ya earlier?” He raised an eyebrow threateningly. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it, honestly!” You laughed nervously, looking towards the entrance as you thought of his employee and the way he shrunk down when Shinji came outside. You were shrinking now in your own way, having an inkling that if you said the word, he’d truly get fired in a heartbeat, and you didn’t particularly want that on your conscience. “He was just doing his job.”

“His job is to let my girl in, no matter the day or time or whatever the hell else is going on,” Shinji said sternly. “He’s an idiot.”

“I made it in here. No hard feelings.” You tentatively put a hand on his chest, bringing yourself closer to him, some of your fingers curled against his shirt, and others on his bare skin. 

“Yer too forgiving.” He calmed, his chest rising and falling slowly beneath your touch. 

“I just want everyone to be happy.”

“And what about you?”

“Well,” you avoided his eyes as you confessed, “I’m happy now…”

He smiled arrogantly. “Yeah?”

You nodded.

The music played distantly again, reminding you that you were alone with him, the only two around to hear it. Shinji’s hand fell from your waist, coming to rest atop where yours was pressed to his chest. 

“So then, shall we dance?” He asked, grinning mischievously. 

“What?” You nearly gasped, gazing at the empty floor. “I don’t dance - like that!” You panicked, imagining the intimacy of it - his hands on your waist, his body so close, moving in sync with yours to the slow music playing over the speakers. There would be no explaining away your feelings, just movement and lots of eye contact, all body language. You were all talk and no game, wobbling on your heels, sure that you were going to embarrass yourself, that you were going to put his favorite genre to shame, and then it would be all over. 

“Sure ya do,” he chuckled at your jittery state. “Yer just being shy.” He grabbed your hand, pulling it from his chest to entangle his fingers with yours, rubbing your skin with his thumb.

“I really don’t know how to.” You hesitated. “I’ll make a fool of myself.”

He shook his head, bringing the back of your hand to his lips for a chaste kiss. “Let me teach you.” 

Without another word, he was hurrying away, plunging the space into silence. He returned with an old record player, making a comment about the “real deal” as he set it up. He left again in search for a specific record, leaving you to shuffle in place and twiddle your thumbs, rubbing the back of your hand where his lips came and went. 

While you waited, your thoughts ran unchecked, thinking again about him pulling you along the floor to something romantic, your dress swishing about at your ankles, holding his hand long enough for your palm to sweat in his…your heart hammered in your chest, beating to the wrong rhythm. You took steadying breaths, remembering to slow down, to be smooth as jazz. 

Shinji looked your way excitedly, finally putting the record in place. He rushed back over to you, and so as not to waste a moment of the song, he grabbed onto you immediately, a hand on your hip, and another taking your hand. There was no more time to worry, and only time for dance. 

The music began, like stars twinkling, the language of dreams, while strings crooned in the background. Eyes like saucers, you looked to Shinji for guidance on where to put your free hand. “Up here.” He nodded towards his shoulder. 

You delicately placed your hand where he instructed, tensing at the feel of him, at the tiniest movement of his muscles underneath the soft fabric of his dress shirt. You weren’t able to think about it for very long as your feet were pulled into movement, Shinji taking you with him to the melody. 

Of course, you found a way to complicate it, no matter how simple it was. All you had to do was move your feet where he tugged you, but you couldn’t manage even that, staggering in your heels, but he never let you falter too much, tightening his hand on your hip and his other in yours to keep you upright and in line. “Yer alright, yer okay,” he’d say. “I’ve got you.”

He never stopped, covering the expanse of the floor with his eyes on yours. You still couldn’t quite get out of your head, but it was getting easier as the song progressed. You let both Shinji and your intuition guide you, and as such, your clumsiness slowly faded away, replaced by a gracefulness you never knew you had. When you were starting to get the hang of the easy part, he was releasing your hip, keeping your hand in his and twirling you.

You laughed and squealed, feeling more at ease the more playful he was, all of the stress and the worry cascading out of you with the twirl. It was fun, the feeling of being whipped around by him, your dress and hair twirling too, so much so that it had you cheering, “again!” And of course he obliged you, spinning you around once more.  

Shinji must have been feeling as euphoric as you, opening his mouth to belt out a line of the song.

“You’d be hers if only she would call!”

The words, whether they were just lyrics to sing along to or something he really meant, stunted you. Your smile fell, your expression turning serious and fervent as his eyes bore into yours. He grinned at your stunned expression, encouraging you to listen to the lyrics more carefully as he swayed with you. 

It had you relaxing into the movement even more, the placement of your feet and your body’s responses becoming second nature as you honed in on the music. In this, you found a new appreciation for the instruments and their union, much like the way you united with Shinji now, the bliss when certain notes and sounds came together at once. 

Though the music was peaceful, the moment was intense. Your throat tightened with the way he looked at you, the way he moved you and spun you like you were a flower, the way he sang to you, “you’d be hers if only she would call.” Would he be mine? Does he want to be mine?

It had you recounting all of the times you came in here, how he always greeted you with his signature smirk when you came in and let you stay late, making cheeky remarks about whatever outfit you had on that night or paying enough attention to compliment your hair or makeup, telling creepy men to get lost when they approached you, knowing your drink order and making sure it was never empty, playing your favorite songs, walking you out and telling you that he’d see you next time…he always did. 

And tonight, all that transpired, the same protectiveness and pet names and compliments, but now, the dance. You’d always written off his behavior and his words as his personality, a natural flirt, or maybe just the fact that he needed business, and you were naive enough to fall into his trap over and over again. He was sweet and protective to all the women. After all, he’d told your friend “whatever you want darlin’” at her request that he fire the bouncer, and talked to various women, young and old, before they left tonight. 

You couldn’t deny that on your hard days, you thought about it a little too much, wondered what those conversations with other women consisted of, if maybe you were just his Friday girl and on Saturday he had another little doll staggering up to the velvet rope, batting her lashes and getting him to fulfill her every wish and command, just for the night. It was why you never took any of it too seriously before now, allowing yourself to get excited each night that you visited, but not to take it back home with you, too afraid to have your heart broken.

But being here with him tonight made everything feel real. You weren’t his Friday girl, you were his every day girl. Sure, he gave everybody sweet nicknames, but he complimented you, he searched for you, he stayed behind for you. It had been this way all along, you were just too stuck in your head, letting your insecurities cloud your judgment. If you had just called him, just given him the word, he’d be yours. 

So perceptive, it was as if Shinji knew you were overthinking it all now, worry passing over his features as he observed you. He twirled you again just to see you smile, but instead of spinning you around fully, he ended this one with his chest to your back and his arms wrapped around you, keeping you there for a moment before spinning you back out again, whisking you along and out of the room before you could see the rosiness in his cheeks.

He took you to the balcony, reconnecting with you there, the music still heard from inside as the chill night nipped at you playfully. The lyrics returned, and you strained to hear them as Shinji tucked you into his chest, rocking you more slowly now to keep you warm from the wind whipping your hair and dress around your frame. 

“When your lonely heart has learned its lesson

You’d be hers if only she would call.”

You looked up from Shinji’s chest, searching his face for the truth as the town below you started to settle into bed. 

“In the wee small hours of the morning

That’s the time you miss her most of all.”

Chills prickled your skin as the song twinkled out, the stars overhead now. When it stopped, the both of you stopped moving, but continued to hold one another, staring in silence with nothing but the distant sounds of the world around you and the whispers of an early spring night. 

Selfishly, you had to know. You needed to hear him say it, for your own peace of mind. “Do you,” you hesitated, but his soft, patient gaze brought you the rest of the way, “have feelings for me?”

“I have for a long time,” he answered you easily, seriously.

“How long?” You slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling yourself in closer, looking at him with glassy eyes. 

“Not long after you started coming here,” again, with a quick, steadfast response. “You’ve always been my girl.”

You let your instincts take over, looking at his lips, leaning in the slightest bit, this was the call. 

And he moved in the rest of the way until your lips were pressed together, becoming yours. He didn’t have to miss you anymore - at this hour, when he was normally closing up, heading home to lie awake and think of you - because here you were, finally where he had longed for you to be, with him. 

The kiss was long, but sweet. Pure and wholesome, he kept your lips against his, and nothing more, pulling back to hug you tightly, pressing more tender kisses onto your cheek and forehead. “A long time,” he said to himself again, running his fingers through your hair as he rested his head against yours.

“I’m your girl,” you spoke to yourself too, smiling like an idiot and shivering against him, excited and a bit chilly. 

“Yer cold,” he commented, smoothing his palms down your back.

“A little.”

He hummed, rubbing his hands up and down your bare arms now. “Want to go back inside?”

“No. I like it out here.” You snuggled back into his chest, leaning against him as you observed the lights below and above. “Just keep me warm.”

He started to unbutton his shirt, untucking it from his pants and pulling it off to wrap it around you.

“You took your shirt off?!” You giggled at him in disbelief.

“My baby’s cold.” He shrugged with a smile, pulling the fabric around your naked shoulders before cuddling you back into him. 

“But you’ll be cold now,” you worried, running your hands along his bare chest and arms, exposed to the night air.

“I’m fine.” He pulled you tighter against him, repeating your words, “just keep me warm.”

Content to be here with him like this, finally yours, you reflected on your humble beginnings, when your friends were reluctant to come here with you, and then when they were refusing not to be let in. You giggled to yourself as you thought of them and how they were going to interrogate you about the rest of your night - or morning, rather. You were going to have to tell them the truth. Okay, I admit, I do want his pickle.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆

The weather this evening, that late-summer-early-fall breeze, reminds you of that special night. It’s around the same time too, the wee small hours of the morning. You’re normally asleep at this hour, but missing him more than usual, you can’t catch a wink. 

“What’re ya still doing awake?” Shinji asks when he finally returns to your shared home, peeling his clothes off and leaving them in a pile on the floor. Too exhausted for a shower, he joins you in bed. 

“Missing you.” You wrap yourself around him instantly, moaning softly at the heat rolling off of his body on this chilly night. “Have any dances tonight?”

“Hopefully one now - with you,” he growls into your neck, nipping at the skin there. 

And so, you dance, no music necessary when you both create your own. The only sounds he loves more than his jazz are the noises that come from you when he makes you feel good. Shinji’s too tired to be anywhere but in bed with you, but not too tired to make love as you say goodbye to yet another Friday night. 

This is a part II to this fic. Without further ado...GIRLDAD!Shinji !!!!

A special shout out to @villainsrtasty for the pigtail's idea!

With your daughter taking up space in your home now, your son was going through a clingy phase, making grabby hands and whining for you constantly, desperate to be the baby again. In the past, Shinji would pout and grumble something about your son favoring you over him, complaining that he was such a "momma's boy," and that he was basically chopped liver in comparison, but now that your daughter had been born, she kept Shinji's hands full. He hardly had time to complain about your son's neediness when your daughter was all over him every waking hour, and he loved every second of it.

It was obvious from the beginning that she was meant to have a special relationship with your husband, the daughter he so badly wanted, and now she was here. In a room full of people, her little eyes would dart about, searching for him, a smile spreading on her face only when she found him. She clung to him the same way your son did to you, curling the fabric of his clothes in her tiny fingers or plopping down in his lap with a book in hand, a silent command that he read to her. Shinji did any and everything she requested of him. It made you proud, the way she had him wrapped around her little finger. She hadn't even been able to talk yet and he still always understood exactly what she wanted and got it to her without hesitation, better than even you could. She was so young, so new to the world, and already spoiled, sure to be trouble the older she got. 

There was also Shinji’s protectiveness, and a new special kind that developed, reserved for her and her only. Jokingly, or maybe not so jokingly, when another baby boy shared toys with her and she followed him everywhere he went, Shinji lectured her on the way home, as if she could understand. “No, no boyfriends. Yer mine for life.”

“What do you mean?” You’d tease him. “That’s my little heartbreaker. Her and I are gonna get all done up and go out clubbing when she’s old enough. She’s going to be my party girl partner in crime…”

“No way!” He’d whine. “The both of ya stay home with me. The day some slimeball gets to her and tries to take advantage of my baby girl...” He didn’t need to finish his thought, the hint of the threat in his narrowed eyes. 

“So when some idiot’s approaching her with some corny ass pickup line…?” You side-eyed him, also with no need to finish the thought. 

“If he’s as handsome and charismatic as me, then maybe I’ll consider letting it slide.” He grinned smugly.

On one of the better nights, your son was napping upstairs, and your daughter was wound for sound, giggling wildly as she made attempts to pull your husband's blonde hair into pigtails. The more he made noises of protests and "ouch!"'s, the more amusing she found it. Though it was at the expense of his comfort, her laughter was one of the most beautiful sounds you had ever heard, and you were sure he agreed, hence why he endured the pain. You seared the sound into your brain, pulling your phone out to capture a short video of the moment to keep forever, smiling distantly as you watched her tangle her hands into his bangs. 

"She's kind of hurting me," he chuckled to you. You tucked your phone away and moved to grab her, with other ideas to keep her entertained, but he put a hand up to stop you, looking appalled that you would even think to take her from him. "Not so fast. She thinks it's funny."

You laughed and shook your head, watching as only moments later she tugged on his blonde tufts so hard she jerked his head down. You intervened despite the fact that he'd let her rip his hair out if she so desired. You weren't sure what it was about your husband that made him have such a history of getting beat on by small girls, snickering to yourself as you thought of how funny Hiyori would find your daughter’s antics. 

She tried to pry your hands off of her hips as you pulled her away, but you held tight, pulling her into your chest. "You like hurting Daddy, do you?" You asked her, tickling her stomach and making her giggle again, squirming in your hold.

Meanwhile, Shinji had busied himself with pulling his hair into the ponytails she wanted to see, excitedly showing her the two small sprouts of blonde on the sides of his head when he was done. "You want matching ones, girly?" He offered her, ignoring your teasing giggles as you admired his silly appearance. Anything for his girl. 

She squealed and laughed and climbed into his lap eagerly, turning her little head this way and that as she impatiently awaited for him to style her hair. He gently combed it away from her face with his fingers and gathered what he could into two little pigtails. They were tiny, her hair barely fitting into them, but it was only a matter of time until it'd be longer, and you were certain Shinji would be fashioning it into unique styles for her every day. 

She curiously reached for her head to feel for her father's creation, only to yank them out, grinning proudly and looking for her father's adverse reaction. 

Shinji sighed. "Brat." 

He couldn’t stay mad at her for long, an affectionate smile spreading on his lips, gathering her in his arms and pulling her tightly into his chest, tickling her the way you had moments earlier. Even as her flailing arms and legs delivered blows to his body, he remained unfazed, peppering her tiny head and face with loud, dramatic smooches. It was obvious to anyone, but to you most of all, how in love he was. It made you snort, his pigtails and his clinginess and his doting, how someone so dangerous and deadly could also be the goofiest and the softest. It made your heart swell too, the father of your children, and what an amazing father he was. 

On one of the not-so-good nights, it was still evident to you how much and how hard he loved his girls. Sickness frequently paid a visit to your household with the two little germs running rampant, and a particularly vicious flu had struck when Shinji was at his busiest. He managed to avoid the plague, gone for long hours due to the demands of the Soul Society, and you were left to bear the brunt of it. Just as your son’s condition was starting to improve, the virus invaded yours and your daughter’s systems at the same time. 

Feeling deathly ill and weaker than ever, you had no choice but to rise from your bed, to fend off the nausea and fight through the fever and chills to take care of your daughter who was suffering just the same, all while handling your son as well. As a mother, you had learned to make sacrifices for your children’s wellbeing and had grown accustomed to it, but this challenged and broke you down in a way you hadn’t experienced before. It got worse before it got better, and you had no idea how you were managing, sleepwalking through each moment. You couldn’t eat, could hardly sleep, and were constantly on the verge of vomiting and/or collapsing, but you were forced to soldier through it for them, hiding from Shinji just how sick you were knowing that he had his own matters to handle.

He hadn’t returned home until late that night when your daughter was crying incessantly, the poor thing tortured by a slew of symptoms that seemed to not want to go away despite your many remedies, and you were trying but failing not to cry with her. 

Her tiny, fragile body in so much pain, she went back and forth between pushing you away from her and grabbing onto you, wanting to be cuddled, but frustrated that it was not solving all of her problems. Snot and tears shined on her face as she wept intensely. You had become hopeless, sharing both her physical and emotional pain. Shivering, wrapping around her tightly, you sobbed with her, telling her that you were sorry and pressing your lips to her burning forehead. 

If you could, you would take all of her heat, all of her chills, all of her upset stomach, and all of her boogers, even if it meant doubling your own suffering. You’d do it just so you didn’t have to hear the heartbreaking sound of her anguish, of your failure to help her. But alas, you were just as beaten down as her, and simultaneously wishing that you could be her size and her age again, crawling into someone’s lap and having them hold and comfort you and tell you that it would all be okay again soon. 

Shinji walked in on the two of you in hysterics, your son playing with toys nearby, watching the scene unfold from a place of innocent curiosity. Your daughter was wailing so hard, she hadn’t even noticed that her savior had returned. With a deep frown, your husband instantly took her from you, and she melted into him, tucking her runny nose into his robes as he caressed her hair and back, shushing her and cooing to her and rocking her to sleep. 

On cue, your son stumbled over to you, getting into your lap now that your hands were free. You snuggled him into you desperately, your sweet little guy, subduing your sobs so that your sick daughter could have peace. Shinji threw you a concerned look as he did everything he could to console your daughter, not stopping until she was drifting off in his protective embrace, just the medicine she needed.

When there were tiny snores escaping her stuffy nose, he disappeared to ease her into her crib, returning quickly to remedy you next. Your son didn’t make much of a fuss when Shinji pulled him from you, knowing that his mother wasn’t herself right now. Your husband reached for your forehead, brows furrowing as he felt the immense heat radiating from your skin, though he didn’t need to confirm your fever to clock that you were ill. The sight of your pale skin, glassy eyes, and hunched, shaky body were evidence enough. 

“Why didn’t ya call me?” He asked softly, wiping stray tears from your cheeks. In his lap, your son observed, his large round eyes looking up at you as if he wanted an answer too. 

“I didn’t want you to worry,” your voice broke. “I thought I could handle it on my own, but I feel so bad, Shinji.” Tears threatened to spill again, and you didn’t hesitate to curl into his free arm, just as clingy and needy as your daughter had been. “I can’t do this.”

“If I had known you were this sick, I never would have left ya here alone with them,” he said sternly. “You need to rest, sweetheart.”

“Don’t cry, Ma Ma,” your son chimed in. 

It tore through your heart. You reached for him, hugging Shinji with him sandwiched in between. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m okay.”

“Come on.” Your husband gently tugged the back of your shirt before rising, pulling you up with him while he balanced his son in one arm. “Let’s get ya to bed too.”

“But-” you started to protest, throwing your son a worried glance. 

“No buts,” Shinji interjected. “We need a guys night anyway.” He looked towards his son, managing half a grin before placing a hand on your lower back, gently nudging you forward. “C’mon.”

After letting him feed you medicine and tuck you in, the last thing you saw before entering a night full of broken sleep, strange dreams, and fevered hallucinations was your husband’s fleeting silhouette, your son on his hip. You never fully woke, but throughout the night, Shinji was in and out of your bed, sometimes with your son, sometimes with your daughter, sometimes with both. When your eyes peeled open again, early in the morning before the sun had even risen, all three of them were tangled in the sheets, your son nuzzled into your chest, and your daughter on the other side of him, poking Shinji awake. 

You jolted upwards at the sight of his sleeping figure, head spinning, sweat clinging to every part of your body, your mind not quite all there at this hour. Your poor son jerked awake at your side, the whole room coming back to consciousness at once.

“Aren’t you late?!” You gasped at your husband. 

“What?” He asked groggily, turning onto his side and wrapping an arm around his daughter in one swift motion. She laughed at him, clearly in higher spirits than she was last night, as he squinted at you.

“For work,” you fretted. “Don’t you need to be at the barracks?”

 “Momo’s gonna take care of things,” he informed you hoarsely, letting his eyes flutter closed again. “I’m staying here today.”

“Oh.” You sunk back down into bed as your son clawed at you, trying to pull you back into your previous position, though you thought there was no way you were going to get back to sleep now, not with how sweaty you were.

“How are ya feeling?” Shinji asked you as his daughter crawled around, attempting to play peekaboo with the blankets. “Cause’ this one seems to be doing better…” He nodded towards her with a lazy smile.

“Better.” You wiped your forehead. “Seems like my fever broke, at least for now.”

“Mmm, that’s good,” he hummed. “My poor girls.” He pouted, launching into a rant. “I’m so sad. Her nose is so stuffy.” He looked to his daughter, his fingers cradling her head. “Do you know how annoying a stuffy nose is? And my baby has to have one? This world can be so cruel!”

“You’re gonna get it next,” you huffed a laugh at his dramatics. “All cozy with her snot all over you.” 

“Nah, I don’t get sick,” he assured with a smirk.

“Yeah, yeah.” You rolled your eyes. “We’ll see.”

“Don’t care,” he grumbled. “It’s worth it. I’d do anything for her,” he said seriously.

“I know you would,” you cooed, mindlessly finding your son’s back to rub soothing circles into.

Knowing that Shinji was back now, and you were safe, that you weren’t alone in this, it made your body soften with content, falling back into a drowsy state. Without realizing it, as you soothed your son, you were self-soothing too. With the four of you pressed together soundly, you could relax. You could take care of your little family and allow yourself to be taken care of too.

“Thank you,” you mumbled to your husband as your eyes fell shut again. “For taking care of us, for taking care of me. Thank you for staying.”

He responded, “I love you,” in an explanatory tone, in a way that said I need no thanks, I’m not doing this for thanks. His words from earlier pierced through your head again, “I’d do anything for her.” 

You drifted off again with a smile on your lips, no more strange nightmares to be had when you were surrounded by so much love. “I love you too, Daddy.”

Of course, Shinji did eventually end up getting sick. There was no way of avoiding it, not with how he was glued to you and your daughter until the both of you got better. 

You took care of him with the same tenderness he had, nursing him back to health as you continued to juggle your children with your energy somewhat restored. Your daughter, his little best friend, knew there was something wrong with her father, and as he spent most of the day in bed, she was there with him, snuggling into his chest or pressing a cold cloth to his head with no idea what she was doing but watching you do the same, so it must have been something helpful. She even offered him her comfort stuffed animal, a serious token of affection as she wouldn’t ever allow anyone else to have it. Shinji accepted it graciously, cuddling it tightly when she wasn’t there. You snapped a sneaky picture of him sound asleep, the stuffed creature tucked under his arm, and made it your new home screen wallpaper, your babies already taking up your lock screen. Now you had the whole collection.

When he was better again, heading back to resume his duties as a Captain, your daughter wailed after him, crying for her “Dada,” having been spoiled to have his presence around so much. He himself seemed to be on the verge of tears, apologizing profusely and promising his sweetheart that he’d be back again for her later. You tried to tell her that you’d still be around, but she didn’t seem interested.

You shared an exasperated look with him, knowing that you were going to have to deal with her crying and missing him until she was distracted by something else. “Who’s chopped liver now?” You laughed.

“Sorry,” he said sheepishly. “She’s a Daddy’s girl.”

Indeed, she was, and you knew deep down that there was no other way for your little family to be. 

Tags: @tomitsulikeslemons @eleftheria93

very short piece. running low on steam these days but i just can't stop thinking about this smirky perverted idiot 🥺🥺🥺

TW: bruises/little bit of pain, kind of smutty

"What are these from?" Shinji asked absentmindedly, poking a couple of bruises on your arm.

"Ow," you pouted. "I don't know. Training or something." You shrugged him off.

"Hmm." He continued to inspect them, grabbing and pinching your skin, rolling it between his fingers as if you were numb to it.

"That hurts!" You swatted him away. "Stop touching me."

The corner of his mouth quirked upwards ever so slightly before he jabbed his fingers into your side, making you jump.

"What are you doing?!" You half-laughed half-scolded, suppressing a smile as you caught his wrist in your hand, preventing another attack. "Why are you being so touchy?" You tried and failed to fight off the heat rising to your cheeks. "You're acting like a child."

"Yer so dramatic," he huffed, snatching his wrist from your grasp. "And bruise like a fruit." He eyed another bruise, this one on your thigh.

"Aren't you perceptive," you snorted, grabbing his hand again when he went to press the purple mark there. "Or maybe just perverted."

"I'm not allowed to be concerned about ya?" He asked lazily, grinning suggestively.

"Concerned," you scoffed. "That's what this is?"

"Sure." He nodded, reaching for your thigh again to smooth over the blemished skin. You let him. "Can't have anyone beating on my lovebug."

Goosebumps scattered across your skin where he touched and traveled up your arms. You blinked slowly at him, pupils expanding, likely into the shape of hearts. "You don't have to worry about me," you murmured.

"I always do," he admitted seriously.

When you had nothing else to say, he lowered his head, gently brushing his lips over the bruises on your arm. "Should I kiss this one better too?" He asked, circling the dark mark on your thigh.

You glanced around, anxious that someone else could walk in at any moment to catch his head in your lap. Against better judgment, you nodded.

Shinji smirked, victorious, before pushing his chair away from him to get on his knees, pressing delicate pecks into your tiny little injury. Your breath caught in your throat when his gaze lifted to yours, a silent ask for permission. He looked a little too pretty peering up at you from waist level. Without another peek at the unlocked door, you made a second bad call and nodded to him again.

Keep going.

Based on this wonderful request from my baby girl @tomitsulikeslemons !!!! DADDY SHINJI (literally)

🤰

Somehow, you knew there was new life growing inside of you. A woman's intuition, you supposed, but the positive test result in front of you confirmed it.

You were pregnant with your husband, Shinji Hirako's child.

At this verified discovery, a flurry of emotions hit you at once, and you began to sob. Overwhelmed, you sank to your knees in the bathroom as you tried to comprehend what this meant, your world flipped upside down without the need for your husband's zanpakuto. You were ready and you were not, excited and terrified, confident and insecure. One moment you were smiling, crying happily and laughing through your tears, and the next your brows were furrowing together, worry tugging at your heart that what if you weren't a good mother? What was going to happen to you now that you were going to be responsible for another human? Were you a bad person for thinking these things? No, you were happy. So, so happy. Putting your hand on your belly, you hadn't met your child yet, and you already had so much love for them, more love than you had for anything or anyone else in this world.

And speaking of love, Shinji, you breathed, your silly Shinji, your other half, the father of your child, what would he think?

You had talked about having children with him, so the concept wasn't entirely foreign, but you weren't exactly trying per se. He never disapproved of the idea, but this was sure to be overwhelming for him too. How would he take this?

He'd been so busy as a Captain now, you hadn't even got around to telling him that night. Or the next. It wasn't until the third night that the truth became too heavy for you to carry on your own.

He was being stupid and oblivious, too busy thinking with his dick and trying to get you out of your clothes. The kind of behavior that got you in this situation in the first place, he initially didn't notice your anxious mannerisms.

But your dearest wasn't a complete moron as so many thought of him. Observant, sensitive, and intuitive, when he snaked his arms around you from behind, you felt him still.

"Wait a minute," he whispered before spinning you around to face him, pressing a hand into your chest to confirm his suspicions. "You're shaking, and your heart's racing. Sweetheart?"

The jig was up. You tried to smile, but it came out crooked and frightened. It only made his face further contort with worry.

"I have something to tell you," you confessed timidly.

Shinji frowned deeply and released you. "Oh, shit. Please don't divorce me."

You couldn't help but scoff at him. "You dork! I'm not going anywhere!" He always had a way of making you laugh when you needed it most, but you couldn't keep putting this off. You exhaled shakily, "actually, it's quite the opposite..."

The poor, confused bastard. He raised an eyebrow at you, not quite following. "The opposite? The opposite..." He narrowed his eyes in thought.

"Shinji." Exasperated, you grabbed the hand he dropped from your heart, splaying his fingers over your stomach. "I'm pregnant."

His narrowed eyes shot open, brightening at your words. He looked at your tummy, as if he'd already find a bulge there, then back up at you again, then back down, then back up. He was being so quiet, your man who normally never shut up, it unnerved you. You were raising your eyebrows at him expectantly, needing him to say something, anything.

Then he was kneeling before you, putting both of his hands on your stomach, in disbelief that his child, his, was growing somewhere in there. "No way," he breathed, smoothing his palms over the surface of your torso. "You're pregnant? Really?" He looked up from where he knelt, his sharp features gone soft.

"Mhm." You nodded, smiling gently, his softness contagious.

Shinji looked at your belly again, gasping in disbelief, processing your words. His silence again worried you, made you reach for his hair and tangle your fingers through it, hoping to get his attention.

He shot up from where he knelt, startling you, scooping you into his arms and spinning you around in a flash, whooping and hollering maniacally. He placed you back on your feet to hug you and deliver sloppy, innocent smooches all over your face, smothering you.

He pulled back, panting, holding you by your shoulders. "I knew I was a sharp shooter, but this - this!" He shook you, laughing. "Holy shit! I'm gonna be a dad! I'm really gonna be a dad!" He chanted, grinning wide. "And you!" His voice broke off as he curled a hand around your jaw, looking utterly soft and kissable again. "Oh, my little mommy! My sweet baby's havin' a baby! My baby's gonna be a mommy!"

Emotion exploded almost painfully in your chest as you were reminded of that fact for a second time. You were going to be a mother, and him a father. The father of your child. The statement didn't seem true, but alas, it was. His excitement made tears spring from your eyes all over again. Your lip wobbled but strained into a smile as you joined in his laughter. He understood the weight of your emotions, pulling you into his chest in a suffocating embrace to sob it out. He rubbed your back and thought aloud over and over again, "I'm gonna be a dad. We're gonna be parents."

You stayed in his arms for a long time, standing there, and then in bed, relishing in the comfort and safety you felt when you were with him. You were grateful your child would grow up to experience the same, to be loved and protected by someone so special. When you were finally calmed down enough, he had something else to say.

"I'm gonna be such a dilf."

.𖥔 ݁ ˖🍁๋࣭ ⭑🍂༘⋆

The seasons were different, more meaningful, as your baby grew through each of them. The rest of the autumn and holiday season was special now that there was an impending addition to your family. As the leaves fell and the weather changed, you were reminded of the change happening within you. You frequently made and shared cozy, nourishing meals and treats with Shinji, spent more time cuddled up with him rubbing your belly and whispering sweet nothings in your ear as the evenings got darker and colder. Quality time spent with him was more frequent, slower, more deliberate.

At holiday festivals with your friends, you and Shinji had to find ways to cover the fact that you weren't throwing back drinks as you normally would, being that the pregnancy was still only in the beginning stages and you had yet to break the news to them. You were never alone, your husband always at your side, careful, calculating, safeguarding.

"Oh, she's not feeling well tonight," he'd speak for you, protectively slinging an arm around your shoulder and tugging you into his side, glaring at the person prodding you.

On the occasion that he let you respond, you'd save yourself with something as simple and uncomfortable as "ah, I've been putting on some pounds recently, and I'm trying to cut back on the extra calories," pretending that you were ashamed of your growing stomach when really you were elated.

"Yeah, you are looking a little more filled out these days," Soi Fon replied impassively when you told her this, making your jaw drop despite the fact that you were mostly lying.

"What the hell does that mean?" You had to pull Shinji back from getting into an argument with her, nervously laughing it off and excusing her blunt nature.

₊˚｡⋆❆⋆｡˚₊

Then came the harsh winter, and you didn't mind so much being stuck indoors this year. You enjoyed staying at home with your little bun in the oven, taking long, warm baths, lighting candles, asking Shinji to bring you home whatever you were craving that day. You were actually starting to fill out now, and so you shared the news with a few close compatriots in the new year.

"Oh, congratulations!" Orihime beamed, hugging you, holding your hand, and talking your ear off about motherhood, being that she already had a little boy with Ichigo.

"Yeah, congrats." Ichigo smiled in agreement, proudly slapping Shinji on the back. "Little scary that Hirako's gonna be a dad, but congrats!"

"HEY!" Your husband frowned.

Rukia asked you about the gender as she watched her own little girl playing with Renji, if you had a preference for a boy or girl. You explained that you and Shinji agreed to let the gender be a surprise, coming up with a variety of names should your child be a boy or girl. You'd both be happy no matter who your child turned out to be, gracious that you were even blessed enough to have a child at all, or so Shinji told you. For every boy name he came up with, there were 3 more girl names. You never nagged him about it, but you had the inkling he wanted to be a girl dad.

Now that people were starting to find out, he was increasingly going all "dad mode," as he called it, not caring who was around to witness it. Shinji always had a bit of a protective streak, but now...you couldn't so much as step outside without him rushing to your side, holding your hand or arm to help you along.

"You could slip on ice!" He'd reason.

"My love, it's nearly fifty degrees out today. There's no ice."

You couldn't blame his overprotective behavior much. You were going through a lot of behavioral changes as well, much worse than anything he was.

For one, you had become incredibly needy for him. It was odd. You'd thought you wouldn't want to be touched being that you were swelling up, but on the contrary, you were constantly in heat, begging for him to satisfy you no matter the place or time.

"You sure you want this? What if I accidentally poke junior?" He'd grin and tease you.

"You're big, but you're not that big, Shinji. Just fuck me already."

"Ouch. So impatient, momma," he tsked. "But I guess I've got to take care of my wife, don't I?"

And for another thing, you were a rollercoaster of uncontrollable emotions, especially the more your pregnancy progressed. You were constantly snapping over the smallest of irritants or bursting into tears over minor inconveniences, like the day Shinji brought you a tray of sushi in an attempt to cheer you up after you were already having a particularly difficult day.

"You idiot! I can't have sushi!" You shouted at him, heated with fury over such a small matter and with the effort it took to fight off tears.

"Ah, forgot about that." Shinji scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, dumbly.

It made you explode, a cascade of waterworks streaming down your cheeks. Another thing that had changed was how much softer he was with you, if it was even possible for him to get any more so, despite how bitchy you had been. So then you were crying because of your hot-temper, hurt curling around and squeezing your heart at the helpless way he looked when you yelled at him.

"I'm being so mean to you! I'm so sorry! I'm a horrible wife!"

"What?! No!" He'd pet your hair and kiss your tears away. "If anything, I deserved it. I am an idiot for getting you sushi. Wasn't thinkin', doll. I'm sorry."

Shinji had learned a lot of patience through the months, and it made him a better man in every aspect of his life, not just at home. He was never the most tightly-wound, but he had mellowed out considerably as he took care of you and his unborn child each day, growing into a gentle guardian before you had even given birth.

"He's been so calm lately," Momo informed you over lunch one day. "Training has been a lot less strenuous. Everyone on the squad keeps joking that they hope you stay pregnant forever," she giggled.

"Glad I could be of help," you giggled along with her.

˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧💌˚.⋆🌿

When the spring came, you were much bigger, getting ready to blossom just as the season was. As it got warmer and sunnier, Shinji made a show of shading you wherever you went, protecting your sensitive skin from the sun, and on those stormy days, he stayed inside with you, making you comfort food and falling asleep with his head in your lap as you read aloud or listened to music, introducing your child to the art you loved so much.

The fickle weather reminded you of your inner world, the way one day you'd wake up sunny, full of joy and love and readiness to meet your baby, and the next, stormy, full of trepidation and worry and unpreparedness, fretting constantly over the questions you had been asking yourself since day one: Will I be a good mother? Will I be able to handle this? Am I a bad person for being so afraid? For feeling so unprepared? Should I be doing more?

Shinji was always there to listen and coax you out of the storm, massaging your sore back as the rain fell outside, he'd confess his own worries.

"I feel the same way," he'd say. "Some days, I feel on top of the world, like I can do anything, and fatherhood won't be any different, but other days, not so much. I'm anxious about being a good father too.

"But we're in this together." He placed his hands over your stomach in the shape of a heart. "And I know you'll be a great mother, so why shouldn't I be a great father too?"

"You will be a great father. You already are," you assured him sincerely.

Your baby stirred inside as if to say, "yes, he is! Yes you are!"

"OH, OH! SHE KICKED! SHE KICKED!" Shinji shrieked, feeling around in hopes of catching another flurry of movement.

"She?!" You laughed excitedly.

"Or he. I don't know, it just slipped out." He chuckled abashedly.

You smiled knowingly to yourself. "Maybe she's excited about hearing her daddy talk so sweet."

"Yeah, maybe." He smiled.

𓆉°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

Now came summer, and you were about to pop. It was as if an eternity passed and simultaneously, no time passed at all. You were changed and you weren't. You remembered the day you found out like yesterday, feeling almost exactly the way you did that day, but more matured. One thing was for sure, no matter how scared you were, you were ready. You'd never felt more ready for anything in your life, bursting with love and impatience, needing to meet your child, whoever they were, whoever they'd become.

Shinji felt the same way, and he had become equal parts amusing and annoying as you approached your due date.

"You think today's the day?" "How you feelin'? How's our girl...or boy?" "What was that?! Are you having contractions?!"

You laughed at him. "No, I just stubbed my toe."

You surprised yourself with how calm you were even though you were soon to be ripped open. Sitting outside under an umbrella next to Shinji, you were sucking on a popsicle, enjoying the hot day when there was a faint cramping sensation in your abdomen, so light, you hardly noticed and ignored it.

But then it was there again several minutes later, a little more noticeable this time. You straightened in your seat, which caught Shinji's attention, always on high alert.

"What is it?" He asked urgently, staring at your large, round stomach.

"Just a little cramping." You forced a smile.

He gave you a pointed look.

"I don't think we should panic yet. My body's doing funny things all the time." You waved a hand dismissively. "And I haven't finished my popsicle."

It was barely a moment later, Shinji hadn't even a chance to retort, that you were straightening again, gasping as pain shot up your back, making you drop your popsicle.

Your husband shot to his feet. "We're going," he demanded, pulling you up to stand. "Better safe than sorry."

The last thing you saw before being ushered away was your popsicle melting against the concrete, leaving a red stain. And it was a good thing, that he was permanently in dad mode, stealing you away from your quiet day and your treat, because you were indeed going into labor.

The long hours that followed were a fast-paced blur. The peaceful summer day was suddenly bursting with feeling and noise, the cold air conditioning inside the hospital fighting against your sweaty skin, strange sensations and haziness. You could hardly process what was going on, blinded with pain, the only person who grounded you was Shinji, your rock. He sounded distant, but he reminded you over and over again that he wasn't.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

All the pain, the damage inflicted on your body, the blood, sweat, and tears, it was all worth it the moment your baby came out, and your life had finally changed for the better, a love like you had never felt before truly coming to fruition as reality shifted in front of you. You'd do it all again. You'd take this feeling, this unconditional love, and bottle it up to carry with you forever if you could.

"It's a boy!" The doctor cheered.

When you finally got to hold your baby boy, nothing else mattered. The entire world was in your hands, so fragile and so precious that it made you sob uncontrollably in your exhausted and delirious state, cooing to him as he cried, talking to him and telling him how beautiful he was, how much you loved him.

It was extremely rare that Shinji ever cried, and now, there were silent tears streaming down his face, in shock that he played a part in creating this beautiful, little boy. Like you, he knew this was the epitome of love in the flesh before you. You both knew the moment you saw him, you'd do anything for him.

Shinji, who didn't get to have his baby girl (yet), was so in awe of his little guy. He held him with a tenderness and reverence unlike anything you'd seen, crawling into the hospital bed with you to cuddle up as a real family. He took care of you, softly as usual, as you came back to health, and he cherished every little moment of this newborn stage, chattering nonstop to the nurses, the doctor, to you, to friends, to family, anyone who would listen about his son, his son!

"I'm in love," he confessed as he held the tiny boy at home for the first time.

"So am I."

Your son started to bob his head against Shinji's chest, looking to be fed.

Your husband passed him over to you with a smug grin. "Oh yeah, he's a ladies man for sure. Just like his daddy." He winked.

Motherhood was everything you imagined and somehow everything you hadn't all at once. Your son had challenged you, changed you, shaped you in ways you couldn't explain. You were constantly tired yet always finding it in you to go, go, go, constantly stressing but somehow relaxed as ever, knowing this was exactly where you were always meant to be.

And Shinji, he was a fantastic, eccentric, loving father, as you had no doubt he would be. Hearing him playing with your little boy and the sounds of your baby's laughter quickly became your favorite sound in the whole wide world. Your heart swelled each time you saw Shinji twirling him in the air or blowing raspberries into his chubby belly. He was a new man, matured, with quiet strength and so much affection to give, one you were so deeply in love with it was incomprehensible.

He had become great around children generally, not just your son. On play dates with the little Kurosaki and Abarai toddlers, the children would chase your husband and pull his hair and roar with laughter at his quick wit and goofy antics. You rested easy knowing your son would grow to live a vibrant life with lots of love and laughter, never a dull moment with Shinji's playful nature.

You'd never been happier, and you were grateful for every day, every moment, even those filled with stress and struggle and challenge. You continued to grow and raise your son, both happy and sad at how beautiful it was to witness but how fast it happened. Shinji bought him a toy sword and you imagined him years and years from now, with a zanpakuto of his own, getting into dangerous battles, and you already fretted over your baby boy. He'd get taller and stronger, but he'd be your baby forever.

You mourned the loss of previous baby stages as he hit each new milestone, consuming food besides milk, starting to babble, walking, talking, learning new things and amazing you with how smart he was. It was bittersweet, but it wouldn't be the last time you got to experience it as you witnessed that positive test result for the second time.

"Ready to do it again?" You asked your husband with a grin, so much changed already from the last time you told him you were pregnant, shown in the very way you revealed this to him.

"Of course I am, mommy!" Shinji lifted your son in the air. "Of course we are!" Your little boy giggled and cheered, though he didn't know yet what he was cheering for. "Though I do have a request for how to do things differently this time round..."

"And what is that?" You giggled.

"When we can, we find out the gender." He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

"You still want a girl, don't you?" You came forward, kissing your son on the cheek.

"I love my mini me so much obviously," Shinji nuzzled him affectionately, "but yeah. I do."

"Then a girl we'll have." You kissed your husband.

And you did.

(read part II with baby girl here !!!)

some quick Shinji fluff so you can all go to bed and have sweet dreams about him tonight <3 no Sunday scaries round here (there still definitely are but i am doing my darnest to ignore them)!

You woke with a gasp and a pounding heart, disoriented at being ungracefully torn from your slumber. The last bits of the traumatizing scene your subconscious invented plagued your mind, making you tremble.

At your side, Shinji stirred awake. Sometimes, it was if you shared a body. When you were in distress, he felt it. Your terror woke him just the same as it did you.

"What's wrong?" His voice was hoarse from deep sleep. He was on you immediately, slender fingers delicately finding your face in the dark to cup your cheek. Your frame against his, he could feel you trembling, and that was all the answer he needed. "It's okay, you're okay. I'm here. I'm right here," he cooed, his hand pushing your head into his chest, hugging you tightly to still your shaking.

You curled around him, your teddy bear, finding comfort in the softness of his bare skin. You buried your face into his chest, inhaling his scent, feeling his steady heartbeat, basking in his warmth. All the while, he stroked your hair, breathing slowly in and out, staying calm to encourage you to do the same. He pressed kisses into the top of your head, anything and everything to make you feel at ease again, to remind you that he was here, and that as long as he was, you were safe.

He reminded you of that. "You know I won't let anything hurt you."

"I know," you chirped, reflecting on the nightmare with a shiver. "It was just so scary. It felt so real."

"I know," he affirmed you, fingers tangling in your hair protectively. "But it wasn't. This is now. I'm real, and I'm better than that shit."

You giggled into his chest, squirming affectionately in his hold. "You are."

"I'll kick your nightmares' ass." You could hear the lazy smirk in his voice. It made your heart flutter, how you adored him.

"I don't think that's how it works."

"I'll make it work."

After that, you didn't need him to do any nightmare-ass-kicking. You slept soundly, thinking of his sweet words and wrapped in his warm embrace, knowing that you'd always be safe as long as that's where you were - with him.

I tried to write for another character but Shinji LITERALLY stormed into my room, flipped my desk, threw my laptop, broke my phone, spit on me and DEMANDED I write for him again

*

*

*

You'd been stressing and working long hours lately, catching little sleep. Today was another long one, running on only a few hours of rest. It was hardly evening, and you'd surpassed your manic, delirious phase and were now crashing, nodding off, eyes fluttering closed only for you to snap your head back up and force your eyes to remain peeled. Shinji was thoroughly explaining something to you and you could not for the life of you catch a single word he was saying, each one going in one ear and out the other just as quickly. You tried and failed over and over again to focus. Pain stung your tired eyes and your body felt much heavier than usual, nearly impossible to keep upright.

At first, Captain Hirako hadn't noticed, too involved in the work at hand and talking through something with you. It wasn't until he glanced your way again and noticed how lifeless you looked that something wasn't right.

He stopped mid sentence, not that you were conscious enough to notice, "(Y/N)?" He asked, narrowing his eyes skeptically. "Are you feeling alright?"

Hearing your name coming out of his mouth awakened you, at least enough to snap back to attention for the moment. "Hm? Sorry?" You were too tired to even worry about the harsh look he was giving you.

Shinji sighed. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

He stood abruptly from where he sat, approaching you. He got on one knee before you, looking up to you with concern. "Have you been getting enough sleep? Or is something else bothering you?"

"I'm fine, really." You lazily waved a dismissive hand, lying about your unwell state out of habit. "Can you just repeat the last thing you said?"

"I think we should call it a day," he ignored you. "I'll walk you home."

"Captain." You forced yourself to stand, trying to prove that you were of sound mind. You couldn't have yourself getting in trouble. "I don't think that's necessary. The task at hand is more important."

Shinji slowly rose, looking stern. "It is necessary. We can't do quality work if you can hardly stay awake."

He moved away to gather his belongings. You stayed where you were, guilt and worry waking you a little more and adding to your list of pains. It was too late. You were in trouble.

Speaking less formally now and more as his friend, you asked him, "are you mad at me?" You frowned while you waited for him to look at you, shuffling in place nervously.

"Of course I'm not mad," Shinji laughed at your puppy-dog behavior. "Just what kind of a guy do you think I am?"

"I wasn't even listening to you." You hung your head in shame. "I've failed you today."

"Don't be dramatic," he continued. "Taking care of yourself is the most important thing you can do - not this 'task at hand' nonsense you're spewing." You noticed that he had gathered your belongings as well while you were hesitating, holding them along with his. "Let's get going."

You followed him out of the office, a dreamy swell of adoration in your chest. "Oh, thank you."

*

*

*

You stood outside of your door with Shinji. The sun had set a little while ago, painting the landscape in the early stages of darkness. You could still see the Captain perfectly clear, turning to face him.

"Thank you again," you told him, voice coming out soft and wispy in your exhausted state.

"Let's meet again tomorrow at noon," he said seriously, reluctantly passing you your belongings. "Sleep in if you can."

"I will do my best." You forced a smile.

Neither of you moved. "Do you need anything?" Shinji asked gently. "Some tea or medicine to help you sleep?"

You were so tired, you doubted you needed anything to get to bed. "Tea would be nice actually." You supposed you were just looking for a chance to spend more time with him, even if it meant having to stay awake a little longer.

You'd always adored Shinji, and that adoration was further highlighted in moments like this, where he was putting you before your Soul Reaper work, encouraging you to take care of yourself and assisting you there.

He smiled, though it came out in that smirky way of his, like he as holding back laughter. Then he opened your door and went inside like he owned the place and was inviting you in. You followed, haphazardly discarding your belongings along the way.

You sat in your small kitchen as Shinji flowed about to make your tea, asking you simple questions here and there to navigate your kitchen. You were nodding off again when he placed the steaming mug before you, sitting across from you with his own cup to enjoy.

You sat in a comfortable silence with him, sipping tea. You were about halfway through your beverage when Shinji was at your side, his hand on your arm prepared to pull you up. You realized then you had been sitting there with your eyes closed, poised to pass out at any moment sitting in your kitchen.

"Let's get you to bed," he chuckled quietly, his voice sounding distant when you were halfway to the dream world. You loved that voice, trusted that voice. Right now it was a beacon of light for you to follow to get to sleep.

He pulled you out of your chair and stayed glued to your side, holding you upright, as the two of you went the short distance to your bedroom. As soon as you caught sight of your bed you went forward, unceremoniously collapsing onto the mattress.

"Do you have pjs?" He asked you, gesturing to your many drawers, though your face was buried in your comforter.

At the sound of pjs, you shot up, stumbling like a drunk over to the drawer that held your comfortable night clothing. You made quick work of pulling it open and grabbing the first thing on top, which happened to be a rather scandalous, frilly, girly nightdress. Without thinking, immediately after you slammed your dresser shut you began dropping your uniform, undressing right then and there to hurriedly get into the cozy material.

"What are you - you maniac!" Shinji quickly spun around and crossed his arms over his chest. Even if you didn't care or notice, he wasn't going to take advantage of you while you were in such a vulnerable state and watch you while you got naked. He didn't turn back to look at you again until he heard the sound you thumping back into bed, your Soul Reaper uniform left messily where you had dropped it from your body.

His jaw dropped when he saw you, splayed out on your stomach, wearing that ridiculously short gown that hardly covered anything. He felt like he was being tested by the universe, catching the slightest glimpse of your panties peaking out beneath your pajamas as you lay with one leg hiked up and the other hanging straight down.

He sighed in frustration, looking away from your ass and to your defeated figure as a whole atop your mattress. He came forward, scooping you up to pull you further up the bed so he could pull the comforter over you and hide your curves from his view. You stirred and turned to help him, flipping over to tuck your knees in, making room to push your legs under the heap of blankets.

When he saw your frontside, he was sure then. He was definitely being tested. Not only did the nightdress hardly cover your backside, but your cleavage was on full display too, the dainty, girlish fabric hardly covering each of your breasts. Shinji had never seen so much of your body with the modest way you wore your uniform. Now, one of your tits was threatening to spill out of the tiny strap holding it up, and Shinji was torn between looking away and trying to help tuck you in. All the while you were oblivious to his mental struggles, scooting in and pulling the comforter up to your chest, where your breasts were still exposed. Feeling perverted, Shinji grabbed it and yanked it up the rest of the way to your chin.

"Shinji?" You asked with your eyes closed.

"Yeah?" He gulped, prepared for the worst. You were about to call him out for being a perv, for staring at your ass and your tits while you were just so sleepy and oblivious.

But then, "you're the only one looking out for me," you mumbled tiredly and affectionately.

The Captain was able to breathe again, smiling at your cute, delirious talk. "Get some rest, okay?"

You went on. "I'll miss you."

"Miss me?" He laughed quietly.

You'd have never spoken this way to him when you were of right mind. He knew he should tell you to stop talking and go to bed before you spewed something you regretted, but he was too curious and admiring how sweet and fragile you looked and sounded while you were drifting off to sleep, wearing your revealing, princess-like nightdress. He was enjoying seeing this other side of you a little too much to be in such a hurry to leave. Maybe he really was perverted, perverted for your heart for sure.

"Yeah. Until I see you again tomorrow," you explained. "I hope I see you in my dreams."

If he was just as delirious, he'd tell you that he'd miss you too, that he missed you every time you were apart. "You really are tired," he said instead, laughing uncomfortably.

You opened your eyes slightly to watch him. "Will you stay until I fall asleep?" You asked hopefully.

He frowned, at war with himself. "I don't think that will take very long."

"Will you?"

It wasn't possible for him to tel you no when you looked at him like that. "I will."

"Thank you. I-" you wanted to say something badly, but the words never came.

"Yeah?" Shinji raised his eyebrows expectantly, in impatient anticipation.

You shook your head to yourself, fending off whatever thought that was trying to escape. "Thank you," you repeated again, shutting your eyes for the final time tonight.

Shinji was right that it didn't take long for you to fall asleep. He waited and listened for the steady, rhythmic sound of your breathing before rising, stopping to take one last look at your sleeping form, to sear this into his memory. As softly as he could, he reached out to push some stray hairs out of your face, yearning to do more, but knowing that he couldn't.

"Sleep tight, lovebug. I hope I see you in my dreams too."

When you woke the next morning, feeling rested at last, the first thing you noticed was that your room smelt pleasantly like Shinji, bringing back memories of the previous night. The last you remembered was sitting at the kitchen table, having tea with him. You wondered what transpired afterwards, how you got to bed, and were surprised that you were so exhausted you couldn't even properly remember.

When you saw what you were wearing underneath the comforter, you cringed at yourself, hoping that he hadn't seen your pjs and if he had, embarrassed that you had looked so slutty in front of the Captain. The sight of yourself mixed with the ghost of his scent in the room made you feel like a pervert. You were already starting to prepare an explanation for yourself, thinking of telling him it was laundry day, but then, how could you even bring this up to him? Maybe it'd be best to ignore it altogether, pretend like it hadn't happened, though you knew you wouldn't ever be able to forget.

And then when you got out of bed and saw the tea cups in the sink, you were thinking of him again. Shinji Hirako had already invaded your mind nearly every moment of every day, and now he had invaded your personal space as well, making it increasingly difficult to stop thinking of him inappropriately. It made your heart ache with desire and longing, his fleeting scent, his tea cup next to yours. He was just here, and you already missed him, already wanted to see him again. It was agony, having to smell his presence in your home when he wasn't here.

You looked at the clock, remembering his words about meeting at noon. It was still morning. That didn't stop you from pulling on your uniform and robes, scarfing down a quick and simple breakfast, wanting to see him more than you wanted to rest. You headed for his office earlier than you were supposed to. You knew he'd be there already, and you were way too excited.

Something needed to be done about this.