I’m feral because I can’t achieve my dreams in love and I’m ok with that because it’s my fault. I’m an introvert to the max babes
298 posts
Latest Posts by demisexual-dryad - Page 2
Oop yeah this is going on the blog. We fucken hate ai in here
AI disturbance overlays for those who don't have Ibis paint premium. found them on tiktok
Yknow you really don’t know how much your mental health impacts your physical health until you start seeing it fall apart under serious mental strain.
Just noticed the gums on a few of my teeth receding- like I’m pretty sure the bone is exposed (I’ve always had like, really little gum and giant ass teeth, part of why I do my best to take care of them), which doesn’t make sense because I kinda obsess over brushing and cleaning in-between them whenever I can remember to take time for myself (pretty much every morning and most nights because thank you ADHD and depression you really don’t need to get worse after a long day, but for some reason you do, but I do my best to maintain healthy habits so I don’t experience long term consequences from y’all’s shit, so suck my dick)
I don’t have cavities- haven’t in years, and my gums normally don’t bleed much if at all, but I guess I didn’t pay attention to my spit until this morning cause it was bloody as hell. So I took a look. And one of my lower teeth is just. The gum used to be there not long ago. It’s not there now!
So I panicked. Obviously. I spent too much money fixing my shit teeth genetics so that I could smile without breaking mirrors and I DID NOT go through hell with mouth devices in middle school to have my bottom teeth fall out under mysterious circumstances.
So I did a quick little read up on it online. Apparently stress is REALLY BAD for your gums. And teeth. And the bone surrounding your teeth. It can make you prone to infections and periodontitis, if not make you more vulnerable to developing it.
And for several months I have been under, like, some of the most SEVERE stress of my life ever because thank you shitty chemistry teacher and thank you gifted student complex that makes me judge my self worth through my grade point average, you’re both bastards and I hate you both for this.
My diet hasn’t changed too much, I’m too broke to be eating absurd amounts of junk food when my mom still insists on cooking for me. And my home-cooked meals still include vegetables and starches and meats, so pretty wholesome meals all in all. My oral hygiene, while sometimes spotty because mental health, hasn’t been consistently neglectful because I recently decided I wanted my teeth to not be stained Brit yellow as a tea drinker, so I bought an expensive whitening tooth paste (with fluoride of course), and in order for it to work and continue working I need to brush consistently obviously, so that’s been motivating me to brush and I’ve seen it help. My gums are a healthy pale pink, not bloody red or swollen.
I even have one of those pick and mirror kits you can buy at the store that I use to check my teeth out and for missed or suspicious spots. Listen, ok, I had one of those telescoping rods installed in my mouth in middle school, a power chain, wedges, and rubber bands. My mouth was torn to fucking hell to fix my teeth and not have them fall out because they were fighting for space (because they were massive and I also had to have them shaved down just to fit in my mouth. By like a lot. A lot a lot). And I’m not doing that shit ever again. Like NEVER EVER. I had a permanent retainer installed on my lower teeth (haven’t broken it yet) and I wear my upper retainer at least once a week (again forgetfulness is worse when I’m exhausted and I wear it at night. Still trying to build that healthy habit, and it still fits even if a little snug sometimes. It’s still Better than never wearing it.)
But they’re receding on a few of my teeth and that’s a recent development because during my last dentist appointment my dentist said I was looking great, just to keep an eye on a potential problem area we’ve been watching over the years, but I’ve had no issues with it so far. That problem area WAS NOT my gums, or my gums attempting to evacuate existence. And I have had a little sensitivity to temperature but I assumed “well whitening toothpaste duh”. Now I’m starting to suspect it’s because my stress levels are causing my body to not function correctly and that’s affecting me physically. I’ve had more evidence for this theory but I’ve been dismissing it aside from this, including heart palpitations, trouble sleeping, a grey hair (I’m deadly serious unfortunately), stomach issues, menstrual irregularity even on BC, consistently elevated heart rate, and other issues. Mostly because honestly I don’t know of ways to manage this kind of stress in the context of adult life when nobody has time for themselves anymore between working and school.
This is the stuff people don’t talk about when it comes to stress. It’s always this intangible concept when talked about; but it’s not. It’s a physical manifestation and process in your body. You experience it, and it’s real even when you can’t feel or see it. And its impacts are really terrible for people’s health. But we don’t talk about those far reaching physical effects. We only talk about the emotional aspect of it, but it has an extremely physical impact on the body, and it can fucking kill you if not cause long-term harm.
I wish I knew how the fuck to make time for myself and fix this but I cannot manifest extra time for myself out of thin air, so I’ll just have to wait till things chill again and remember to do life at my own pace again.
Well shit. Can’t be cursed.
Currently want to puke from stress.🤟🏻
My mental health is very steadily deteriorating, I need a vacation and like a week of self care immediately. I am having to actively focus on not dissociating or thinking too hard about my school or I risk a panic attack. Or my heart giving, out I don’t know.
The problem is thorough self care takes energy and spare time I don’t have.
Why is it designed like this. Who decided this was a good way to do this. I want to leave. Europe take me to where there’s work life balance and I’m not in danger of being mowed down by bullets or hate crimed in the streets for my sexuality.
Okay and he’s eatin it up in that dress, lil’ man is serving.
Me whenever there’s a new tornado warning and the news cuts everything you were watching off:
im crazy
Leaving things where I will always, like clockwork, know I will look for them first.
When I lose things and CANT find them, it’s because either I or someone else broke the routine.
If I can see it immediately I need to feel that it is there. Can’t feel it or see it? Need to hear it. My vision is already and always has been shit.
Keys? If they’re not in my pants pockets, they’re in my hands. If they’re not in my hands, I have them in my teeth. Not In my teeth? Check my bag pocket. Not in bag pocket? They then are only ever going to be in my car cupholder.
I can’t forget my work shoes if they are already on my feet or literally beneath or on my work bag. Even if this annoys the piss out of other people, it. works.
If something is within arms reach, the compulsion of: I might as well! Kicks in and I can actually manage at least taking care of my basic needs
The problem with this method is if I get stuck in a depressive spiral and don’t look at a specific spot by the mirror in the bathroom that I look at 90% of the time like three self care tasks are being forgotten that day.
If the cleaning supplies are sitting on the bathroom counter, eventually I will remember to do the task. Usually when looking at the thing annoys me enough.
*pulling the scooby-doo mask of off bad science and gasps*
IT WAS BIAS ALL ALONG?!
Of course it was, what else could it have been? For all those who’s mothers were unfit parents, this is proof that it wasn’t you that was the problem; if mom didn’t ‘care’, she didn’t get those neural pathways, and she was just not fit to be a mom. And you deserved better.
You were never unlovable, you were just unloved. And you deserved to be loved too. It was never your fault.
Good news that we deserve 😌
I found my first grey hair bro.
My eye has been twitching nonstop for weeks at this point, it comes down over spring break, but it came back the minute I thought about this fuck ass class.
I’m only twenty one.
It’s too late for me. Save yourselves.
(I’m not passing that class this teacher is ASS LMFAO)
Bro this sinus infection is kicking my ass.
So is Chem II but we’re not going to talk about my shit professor driving me up the wall when I sound like a prepubescent boy with the amount of croaking and voice cracks I’m having.
Gods pray for me. I don’t know how imma get through this semester but I will somehow make it work in my favor in the end. Somehow.
The people who’ve done the most harm to me are the people I loved and trusted completely. The people who I thought loved me as much as I loved them. I didn’t think they could hurt me. Because they were supposed to love me. And then one day they did hurt me, and suddenly everything no longer made sense in the world anymore.
The truth is that love is a double ended sword. To wield it you make a wound; you must be vulnerable to have it, and that vulnerability will either run you through or make you twice as strong. And the scary part is that you put your fate of your heart in someone else’s hands. It is literally to disarm yourself and trusting completely.
I just wish I could say I’ve been skewered through the emotional guts by people I gave my everything less than I actually have.
The ironic part is historically humans have always made nsfw art. Except when the Greeks and Romans carved their idealized dicks out of marble depicting people or gods, or painting a freaking Gay orgy on an amphora, it’s historically important and “a show of masterful skill”. When you try to continue the same tradition humans have been doing since the dawn of time, for some reason, other humans try to censor it like people reproduce only for the sake of making children and not for other culturally important focal points. How dare you depict people and how they satisfy a basic activity of life! Clutch your pearls, oh dear public, for it is a depiction of someone doing something as mundane as eating or sleeping captured in art!
(And if you ask me, the use of sex as more than a reproductive measure is part of what makes humans unique from animals. Enjoying that kind of art or not is a simple choice: look at it. Continue to look. Or look away. It’s actually pretty simple.)
making art sites that don't allow NSFW is useless to me. not even to get my rocks off, i mean at this point not allowing NSFW ends up being a nightmare of random queers getting banned because the guidelines are too ill-defined and art that presents the human body, especially femme and trans, will just get obliterated for no reason despite not being sexual.
b-
B-
BALLPOINT PEN???
Finally got around to scanning this ballpoint pen drawing from the other day.
Hnnnnnnnnnmmmmm nnnnnnnnnnngggh
I wanna read a book under those. I wanna sketch under those trees in bloom. So fucking bad.
longmei龙梅 blossoms in drizzle, 普安禅寺pu'an chansi, yongjia, wenzhou, zhejiang province in china (cr 沈愈之)
YESSSS THE PARTY LEAFF
I love these little funky guys. Absolute cuties.
Beautiful tiger lily by the way, she’s gorgeous
This truly is the party leaf
LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO
Democrats in the U.S. Senate on Monday evening blocked a Republican-led attempt to enshrine discrimination against transgender athletes in federal law. The lawmakers rejected the Protection of Women and Girls in Sports Act. The bill, part of a more considerable conservative effort to roll back LGBTQ+ rights, failed to garner enough votes needed to advance.
After senators voted to confirm President Donald Trump's pick for education secretary, professional wrestling magnate Linda McMahon, the upper chamber considered moving forward with the anti-trans legislation. The bill was stopped by a cloture vote, which is a procedural motion that requires 60 votes to end debate and move forward. The vote was 51 to 45.
The legislation, introduced in the House of Representatives by Florida GOP Rep. Greg Steube and passed by Republicans earlier this year with the support of two Democrats, sought to rewrite Title IX protections by defining sex in athletics solely based on “reproductive biology and genetics at birth.” If enacted, the bill would have effectively barred transgender women and girls from participating in federally funded school and college sports.
The bill also called for federal studies on the impact of transgender inclusion in women’s sports and potential “adverse psychological and developmental effects” on cisgender athletes. There is no evidence that transgender athletes are a danger to cisgender peers. While it did not mandate physical examinations to determine an athlete’s sex, critics warned that its enforcement could lead to intrusive scrutiny of all female athletes.
The bill’s failure comes amid a broader, coordinated effort by Republicans to legislate transgender people out of public life. Just last month, Trump signed an executive order titled “No Men in Women’s Sports." Trump used the signing ceremony as an opportunity to spew inflammatory rhetoric, falsely claiming that men have “invaded” women’s sports and that male athletes are “beating up and injuring” women—a claim that has been debunked time and time again.
Human Rights Campaign president Kelley Robinson applauded the Senate’s rejection of the bill, emphasizing the damaging impact of such policies. “Every child should have the opportunity to experience the simple joys of being young and making memories with their friends. But bills like these send the message that transgender kids don’t deserve the same opportunities to thrive as their peers simply because of who they are. And they are impossible to enforce without putting all kids at risk of invasive questions or physical examinations just because someone doesn’t look or dress like everyone else,” Robinson said in a statement to The Advocate.
Trump’s executive order, which threatened to strip federal funding from schools and colleges that failed to comply with his ban on transgender athletes, has already triggered legal challenges. Civil rights advocates and legal experts have pointed out that executive orders cannot override federal civil rights protections, including those under Title IX, and the order is expected to be tied up in court for months.
“We should want all of our kids to have the chance to be on a team, problem solve with others, learn valuable skills, and find places to belong,” Robinson said. “Thank you to the leaders who stood up today, pushed back against those playing politics with young people’s lives, and declared that ours should be a nation where every child feels valued.”
Dear god I sit in chairs like a heathen when I’m bored while also stressed. Am I even sitting at this point? What IS this?
The fact that I’m 90% sure I know what game this is from and might be currently on THAT QUEST is proof I may need to slow down on the video games.
When your friend tells you something good, but utterly incomprehensible
The expectation of sexuality among teens is what really irks me.
It was most confusing and alarming to me when books, media, medical professionals, hell even my parents made me feel like I was supposed to one day look at a boy my age and get the vapors or something. Like everything would be all rosy, butterflies would float into the air, the sun would beam upon my skin, and the sky would clear because of some budding attraction that according to most of society is expected. Outside of innocent attraction too, that all other members of society were leering over my shoulders, watching me like a hawk for any self exploration even encroaching upon the realm of sexuality and desire, ready to shame me if I took one step or stumble into the less-than-innocent that is supposed to come with maturing.
I genuinely had issues with fitting in because I thought something was wrong with me for somehow fucking up this mystical biological math equation, and not getting “x= people are attractive and sex and attraction with or towards attractive strangers is appealing and good yay”. There were times when I would lie about liking a boy in my class and back pedaling when girls my age reacted negatively, because FUCK if I knew what made that person an appealing or non-appealing pick. I kept waiting for this change that never came, and yet at the back of my mind something was whispering that I wasn’t the ever the same as those other peers of mine I saw as ‘normal’.
Even after I found my identity, and I’ve still not felt the need to change that label, there have been other addendums added to it. And those were important to me, too. The realization that, yeah, I don’t really give a shit about a persons gender if I do manage to fall in love was a big one, even if it was obvious until then. And even if I had bloomed late and realized I’m not demi, just picky as hell, I would still know that I don’t have a gender preference and kind of never had to begin with. Even if I never have a relationship with a woman or an androgynous, nonbinary, or intersex person, knowing that I don’t have a preference about that subject either way was still valuable to my self discovery.
I really think that society as a whole needs to stop emphasizing attraction as a turning point of maturity milestones, if not because it doesn’t work as general marker, (and really never did), then because there are still kindergarteners who crush on each other, and kiss on the playground swing set, and that technically forces the definition to include kids who recognize attraction early as well, which I don’t think is ethical- or right. But even with that aside, the isolation I felt then- the isolation I still feel as a result of misunderstanding about my identity- is real and it hurt me. And that caused some of my hurt. My life would’ve been a touch easier if there wasn’t this implicit expectation to turn boy-crazy, or become hyper-sexual and horny as a teen when I didn’t really experience any of that.
And even when I did get my first taste of real, genuine attraction and love for someone, it wasn’t this big reveal. It snuck up on me quietly, passively, so much so that it took other people pointing it out for me to step back and go “oh shit that sure is a thing that’s happening in my brain”.
My point is there shouldn’t be such a heavy importance on love and attraction on people that young- it shouldn’t be an expectation or a step to adulthood to be completed- but something that just sometimes pops up, sometimes doesn’t, but is just a natural little ‘whatever’ of the world that happens because biology baby. It’s kinda weird that it’s even something adults are thinking about in regards to their kids- not as in anticipating safe sex talks and all that- but that kids and parents should be communicating honestly with each other throughout puberty because it’s a fucking trip to go through all that, and the last thing anyone needs is to be expecting some coup or phsyop of crushes and less-that-innocent thoughts to be popping up in their freaking children- and if that’s even the case setting boundaries and allowing for the appropriate amount of privacy is arguably necessary for healthy development.
I have many thoughts on this topic but. Yeah. There are worse things to be wrong about than deciding you’re not ace.
tbh it doesn't rly hurt teenagers to incorrectly id as ace like... what's the worst than could happen? they don't have sex till they're older?? lol
Considering my blog is mostly random things and shipping gay lawyers this should be obvious but ah well
trumpphobic
REBLOG IF YOUR BLOG IS TRUMPPHOBIC
Ice lizard just sounds like a surefire way to kill a lizard. An ice lizard is a dead lizard.
Spin this wheel to get a word and this wheel to get an animal. Congrats, this is now your new MGS codename.
Reblog with your codename btw I'm curious-
(I'm Acid Cobra)
Bro this sinus infection is kicking my ass.
So is Chem II but we’re not going to talk about my shit professor driving me up the wall when I sound like a prepubescent boy with the amount of croaking and voice cracks I’m having.
Gods pray for me. I don’t know how imma get through this semester but I will somehow make it work in my favor in the end. Somehow.
I fully understand Ema. Mad respect for the amount of chemistry she WILLINGLY put herself through while I take yet another chemistry class and watch my academic heart wilt while I chant religiously “I just need to pass, I just need to pass, C’s get degrees, I JUST NEED TO PASS!”
I could never. (I could but I’d want to die a horrible, painful death by the end of it).
If I had to deal with an insufferable bisexual after all that shit too, I’d be throwing more than my snacks. I’d be throwing the luminol at his face and chanting ancient Latin curses, actually.
Me too, Ema. Me too.
“ema skye is annoying” “ema skye is too bitchy” shut up. ema skye canonically has a gun and still has enough restraint not to use it on all of her dumbass coworkers. she just eats snacks and throws them at twinks. she complains about her annoying bisexual worstie to his face. she loves science and hates being a cop. what more could you ask for in a woman
You can’t convince me this man isn’t strong as hell. That’s the only decent explanation we get.
He hit the gym so hard his stomach acid can break down glass now
Aight so last year I finally got into Ace Attorney and I shared my insanity on my priv. I was shook, I think by the time phoenix got tasered at the police station and no one cared, and friends informed me his insane injuries keep getting WILDER.
So, I started to keep a list in my notes app. here it is.
they were NOT kidding
NOTE: Spoilers for all 6 main AA games, and there's a separate section for the Layton crossover
Use this information wisely
I wish I could just turn off my existence for the next few days and turn it on again when my first week of exams are over so I have no memory of the even, my eye hasn’t stopped fucking TWITCHING in weeks.
Why couldn’t great apes evolve the ability to go into torpor on command. (don’t answer this I know that wouldn’t be very effective.)
Why couldn’t I have been an opossum, and just conk the fuck out when I’m stressed so people think I’m dead until I wake up an hour later and I’m just fine.
Do you ever wonder if Phoenix annoys the piss out of Apollo in an attempt to push him away at first because he doesn’t want to put him in a position where if he dies suddenly, Apollo will long for his mentor’s guidance like he did with Mia but can’t get it because he doesn’t have Maya or Pearl as council like Phoenix did, and then suddenly he has his badge back and is like “well shit I can’t just switch up now” and just continues to be an ass to Apollo because he’s like ‘well I made this bed, time to lay in it’?
Sorry I just woke up yall but my brain never be sleepin
….
I feel the need to say again, that I am in fact, NOT a Tahitian clam, and don’t produce pearls, much less from my cooter, and would appreciate it if I wasn’t treated as such.
Also to that nurse who told me the speculum would ‘tickle’, WHAT THE FJUCK FREAK SHIT DO YOU GET UP TO IN YOUR SPARE TIME THAT, THAT SENSATION SPECIFICALLY IS A “TICKLE”?!?!
Anyways I unfortunately have to get it done AGAIN because the nurse disregarded me telling them that hey; I was on my period, and that I might be bleeding too heavily for them to get a good cell sample.
But what do I know, right? It’s not like this uterus of mine is attached to me specifically or anything…
I got my first pap done today.
If I never see another speculum again it’ll be too fucking soon.
@dolotonglo *ringing the dinner bell once again*
Pride and Prejudice AU.
Just an excuse to draw them in regency era outfits tbh.
hang on I’m trying to see something
don’t tell me the name of your pet, just tell me in the tags the name you call them that’s got nothing to do with their actual name