Dearest,

Thoughts in the aftermath of the Paris attacks

I question how we could have gotten to this point. When was there such a breakdown in humanity that we are capable of committing such atrocities? Was it imperialism and colonialism? Was it the tower of Babel? Was it when Eve ate the apple? And more worryingly, I question how I became desensitized to it. I’m not gonna lie, the first thought I had when I heard about Paris was “I’m not even surprised.” And the more I think about it, the more horrifying that is. I can’t fathom how someone could hold so much hatred in their heart that they would commit such evil against their fellow human beings. 

But here’s the thing: I’ve seen more widespread and more insidious hatred on social media in the past three days than in Paris on Friday. I am dismayed at the tragedies in Paris and Lebanon, and I am disgusted and many people’s reactions. 

ISIS seeks to divide us along fabricated lines of religion, and to sow fear and hatred. When someone says that this is the reason we shouldn’t be letting refugees into Canada, they are dividing us along the fabricated lines of ethnicity, and they are sowing fear and hatred. It reveals extreme xenophobia, and profound racial prejudice, and - quite frankly - willful stupidity (otherwise known as ignorance). When I see inane posts about closing Canadian borders being propagated on social media, I honestly judge those people for being shallow and stupid. If you think critically about the reasons people seek refuge in Canada, you would know that to attempt to deny them that refuge because you’re scared of terrorism is absolutely absurd. 

Not only that, but we are so horrified by ISIS because they presume to make themselves masters of others fate. They take the power of life and death into their hands, and judge other human beings. Do you realize that to let children die at sea is the same thing? Just because we didn’t pull the trigger doesn’t mean that our hatred didn’t kill them. 

Did you know that the bible says that anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer? (1 John 3:15) Refugees are your brothers and sisters. Your hatred for them is both metaphorically and literally their death sentence. 

If you dare to say that we should deny refugees entrance into Canada because of your racial prejudice, you are just as bad as ISIS. 

Today I want all Christians who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, trans men, trans women, nonbinary, genderfluid, and all sexualities and genders to realize that it is okay to be you and be Christian. Jesus loves us for who we are, and loved us enough to die on a cross for us.

Don’t worry about being non-straight or non-cisgender at your church. You can still worship, and bless the Lord, no matter how you are.

You are loved.

Hate in the name of God is still devil worship.

Short Story: Beauty is a Beast

            You know that moment when you step off the schoolbus in the afternoon, or when you shut your bedroom door behind you, or lie in bed at night, and just breathe deeply, finally completely alone. You know the person you are in that moment? That’s the real you, with all your true hopes and dreams and values. Nobody can watch you or judge you, or tell you what to do or who to be. People should be that person more often.

        I see it a lot. People are always totally themselves around me. I’m your corner store cashier. I’m like a part of the wallpaper. Because honestly, what effect do I have on the rest of your life outside this miniscule window of time for your trip to buy chocolate or scotch tape? It’s amazing the things I can learn about people as a cashier just by simple observation. I’ve worked here at my tiny corner-store-attached-to-a-pharmacy on the corner of my street for two years, and we sell everything from a turnip to tweezers. In two years of working 7-11 every day of the summer and 7-11 every Saturday and Sunday during the school year, I’ve gotten to know most of the people who live in our neighborhood, through routine visits and fragments of conversation here and there.

 For example, elderly Mrs. McAllister lives all alone at the top of the hill with her four cats, whose photos she carries in her purse. Boots is the black one with white paws, Snowball is all white, Mittens is yellow with a black triangle on his forehead and Tommy is orange striped. She buys a 2L of milk and a Big Turk chocolate bar every single Saturday morning between 7:00 and 7:30 without fail.

 I expect Mr. Watkins visit around 9 every second Sunday morning. He always buys Werther’s hard caramel candies, Purity cream crackers, a bottle of ginger ale, a loaf of bread and bologna. He carries two tiny school photos in his wallet of his grandchildren, Jeffrey who is in grade five this year, and Alyssa, who is in grade two. They love the caramel candies.

 Finally, there’s a tall, dirty blonde boy around my age who seems to live on Nestea and Peppermint Lifesavers. He visits my store faithfully every day at around 10 during the summer to get his fix and still comes back every Saturday and Sunday morning during the school year. I know that he likes the Red Hot Chili Peppers, that he plays basketball and that he goes to the school on the other side of the city even though he’s not zoned for it. Name? Not a clue. I call him Lifesavers-Guy in my head.

 I’m writing all this down because I want to tell you the story of a boy and girl. Well mostly a girl, but the boy is in it a little bit. The girl’s name is Purple-Monster-Girl. Or at least, that’s what I call her.

 She appeared on the scene around the end of June, right after I had finished grade 11. That day I was teasing 13-year-old Joshua about his first date that night as I put his comic book and Sour Patch Kids into a bag. He was beet-red, right to the tips of his ears and was probably all too happy to escape when my attention was diverted. The little bell above the door tinkled and I looked up to see who it was. My first impression was that she looked really...for lack of a better word, Normal. I wish I could say she looked Mysterious, or she was gorgeous but she looked sad, but she just looked perfectly normal. She was about 5’7’’, with dark brown hair falling in loose waves to her shoulder blades, looking like she had let it dry on its own. I will say she has a really pretty face, with nice skin. She was wearing knee-length cut-off shorts, a black tshirt with a colourful graphic on the front that matched her turquoise converse. She wasn’t stick-thin but she wasn’t chubby by any means. She was just...normal. She had two earbuds stuck in her ears.

 She picked up a bag of Doritos, a purple Monster energy drink and a pack of Stride Spearmint gum. When she brought it to the counter I pointed at her ear and said

 “What are you listening to?”

 She cocked her head and looked at me for a second, as if sizing me up, then she said

 “Nothing. People are just less likely to try and make conversation with me if I have them in.”

 Something told me I should have been at least a little bit offended by that, but I wasn’t at all. I just felt like I had passed some secret character test. She left the store and I was left shaking my head.

 “Weird chick.” I thought, and that was the last I thought of it, until she became a recurring presence. She came back every now and then for her purple Monster and  Stride Spearmint, though the junk food varied, sometimes chocolate, sometimes candy, sometimes chips.

 Around mid-July when I was selling popsicles and soft serves to droves of sticky, smiling children, she started coming in at 7 in workout clothes. She stopped buying junk food then too. It was around this same time that Purple-Monster-Girl met Lifesavers-Guy. She happened to come later that day, and both of them approached my counter with their usual purchases at the exact same time. Sometimes, replaying the scene in my head, it strikes me that it’s just like a movie. He stepped back like a gentleman and gestured for her to go ahead of him. She just looked up at him, right in his eyes and almost literally glowed at him, like, her smile looked like he was a child who had just said his first word. While I rang in her purple Monster and Stride Spearmint and she gave me the exact change without me asking her, Lifesavers-Guy asked her the pivotal question:

 “What are you listening to?”

 I looked at her quizzically. Would she be as honest with him as she was with me? She wasn’t. After a glance at me so fast it was almost imperceptible, she took one earbud out, smiled and lied. This is a perfect example of how people are themselves around me. She had no trouble admitting that she wasn’t really listening to music to the corner store cashier, but to this stranger, this boy, who might judge her, she had to lie.

 “Red Hot Chili Peppers.”

 And what a lucky lie. Lifesavers-Guy’s face lit up and they chatted eagerly all through his order, in which I had to tell him his total twice because he wasn’t paying attention the first time, and out the door. I could see them standing on the sidewalk outside the store. She laughed a lot and he smiled shyly, then they switched their phones and gave them back. I just grinned.

 As the days scorched and summer wore on, I sold a cool drink to every customer who walked in the store. August was giving us a beating this year. I stood behind my counter and watched harried fathers buying a box of cereal early in the morning, little old ladies buying tea bags and muffins, and people of all ages rushing in to pick up a card for various occasions and asking to borrow my pen. And I watched Purple-Monster-Girl and Lifesavers –Guy. Not in a creepy way, I mean when they came in the store. Sometimes, if he was alone, he bought Stride Spearmint or a purple Monster with his traditional order, or she bought Nestea or Lifesavers to accompany her drink and gum. Purple-Monster-Girl’s early morning workouts seemed to be working for her too, because the soft curves of June has transformed to taut, toned lines for August. As summer died with blazing red and orange sunsets, I saw them come in together sometimes holding hands. If one or both of them were in the store when Red Hot Chili Peppers came on the radio, I saw them smile like they shared some kind of secret. It obviously wasn’t such a huge secret if I was in on it, but nobody thinks of that.

 I guess they just felt special, as only new couples can. They were like a modern day Romeo and Juliet. Actually, scratch that. Let’s say they were like a modern day Beauty and the Beast. Not that either one of them was ugly and the other one was beautiful, I just think that story is infinitely more romantic than Shakespeare’s tragedy because it’s about seeing people for who they really are and looking past outward appearances. Anyway.

 The days grew shorter, the soft serve machine went into storage, and Purple-Monster-Girl, Lifesavers-Guy and I all went back to our respective schools for our last year. My time spent behind my corner-store counter was cut from seven days to two. But I still got visits from my favourite couple on the weekends. It was around the time that Crayola crayons and loose leaf were in big clearance bins at the front of the store, and big boxes of mini chocolate bars were on display that I saw Purple-Monster-Girl’s hair straightened for the very first time ever. She wasn’t wearing her workout clothes this Sunday. She was wearing shorts that were, in my humble opinion, too short. If not for the weather, at least for propriety. And she wore the same tshirt I had first seen her in. It hung on her differently now. It slipped right past her flat, toned stomach and didn’t even catch on her hips.

 And there was trouble in paradise for our neighborhood lovers. Or at least, that’s how I interpreted it. One chilly morning early November, I was organising a magazine rack and shaking my head at celebrities exploits when the two of them approached the store, seemingly in a heated discussion, judging from their faces through the glass. They stopped talking as soon as they entered the store. The tinny radio music couldn’t quite handle the oppressive silence, and only made it awkward when Red Hot Chili Peppers came on. I pretended to be totally absorbed in perfecting the magazine display, until they had paid for their items and left, still in silence.

 Chocolate Santas, chocolate Snowmen and chocolate Reindeer were flying off the shelves and we had our first snowfall. I smiled at all my customers and wished them a Merry Christmas as they left the store. The same five annoying Christmas songs played over and over the store speakers for a month straight, and everybody was jolly. And I watched tiny changes in Purple-Monster-Girl. Dark eyeliner rimming her eyes. A lower neckline than I’d ever seen her wear. Her hair was more often straight and more seldom wavy. She was still beautiful, but she packaged it more. She looked like beauty was no longer natural, but something she put on like a mask when she got up every morning. The day after school let out for Christmas vacation, they came in together, looking happy again. He kept his arm around her waist, not possessively, just kinda chillin there, like he was supporting her, or protecting her. And I saw the way he set his jaw.

 New Year’s Day the corner store was open. It closed only Christmas Day and two other forced holidays under the labor law. Anyway, I sold a lot of Advil, Tylenol, Coffee and Gatorade that morning. I didn’t try to make conversation with those customers, I just kind of smiled gently at them. One such girl laid a box of Advil on the counter with a purple Monster energy drink and a pack of Stride Spearmint gum. She didn’t really resemble the one who came in five months ago and told me there was nothing coming through her earbuds. Her whip straight hair had been highlighted with caramel streaks. That looked great to me. What didn’t look great was the tank top that looked two sizes too small and the painted-on jeans which revealed stick arms and legs and a waist so tiny it looked like it would fit between my finger and thumb. I stared at her for a few seconds in wonderment. There were dark circles under her eyes and her cheekbones had become very defined. I passed her her plastic bag of three items and wondered who she had kissed at midnight.

 It evidently wasn’t her boyfriend. No more did they enter the store together or buy each other’s items. Red Hot Chili Peppers on the radio elicited a stony face from him and...nothing from her, no recognition whatsoever. A week after we went back to school I watched Lifesavers-Guy stalk resolutely past the Monster cooler and refuse to let his gaze wander to the gum display next to the counter. I didn’t make any eye-contact with him as I rang in his Nestea and Lifesavers.

 The following month saw weather as cold and blustery as the night the enchantress sought refuge in the Prince’s castle. Business was slow. I sold contact solution, Benadryl, Root Beer and Reese’s Pieces. At home, I did homework and I started watching Beauty and the Beast again, to relive my childhood. I only saw the beginning before I fell asleep though. I saw the Beast shut himself up in his tower, ashamed at his own appearance, despising himself and repulse any human companionship. I felt bad for him. After all, who said he was ugly? Only society’s socially constructed ideas of “beauty” made him think that. It only took the right person to see the real him, and to see how beautiful he actually was. But I digress.

 Lifesavers-Guy came to the store less, probably because Purple-Monster-Girl still visited faithfully to get her energy drink and gum. She never put food with it, but I did get a few surprises. One morning I was just listening to 10-year-old Jess tell me about the latest Nancy Drew mystery she had read, in between mouthfuls of Skittles. Purple-Monster-Girl slipped in somewhere around the falling action. After Jess left, Purple-Monster-Girl placed her traditional energy drink and gum on the counter and then plopped down beside it a box of condoms. I said nothing, just looked at her. She wouldn’t meet my gaze. I rang through her order in what was supposed to be disapproving silence but I don’t know if she got the vibe. That was Saturday. The next morning I sold her more Advil.

 Three weeks later it was uncommonly crowded in my tiny store. Purple-Monster-Girl was coming in as Lifesavers-Guy was going out. Manoeuvering around her, he placed his hand ever so lightly in the small of her back, an unconscious, tender touch, but drew it back suddenly as though stung. A moment later she turned around to get her Monster from the cooler and I could see why. Her thin, tight shirt revealed every vertebrae in her back in sharp relief, clearly visible through flesh and fabric. I looked at her with sad eyes. She wasn’t the normal girl she was in June. Seven months had transformed her into an entirely different person, one who was quite evidently underweight. One who...was buying a pregnancy test. Heaven help us. I glanced quickly at her face, but her gaze was focussed somewhere past my left ear. I could only hope that I didn’t see her back here in nine months buying baby formula. After THAT experience, I examined all the labels on our condom boxes, and concluded that she should have bought the ultra-strong ones. They were 98.2% effective, which is a whole 1.2% more effective than the normal kind, but my faith in them was shattered forever.

 The next Saturday, everbody was buying boxes of Barbie valentines and candy hearts and Hershey kisses. But not Purple-Monster-Girl. I caught myself staring at her stomach, looking for a bump. I knew it was too soon, but I did it unconsciously anyway. She just looked as shrunken as ever to me. However, to my immense relief, this shopping trip featured a box of tampons. I actually had to restrain myself from sighing in relief.

 The ides of March rolled around and a lot of green was on sale everywhere. I saw garlands of four leaf clover and plastic cut-outs of leprechauns and the young and middle-aged elementary school teachers who bought them for their classrooms. And quite suddenly, Purple-Monster-Girl disappeared. Saturday morning when the bell tinkled I didn’t even look up, until I heard a much heavier footfall than what I was used to, and beheld a strange man in a suit buying Pepsi and a muffin. I waited and waited and waited. The end of my four-hour shift came and still no sign of her. Nobody made any utterance of where she was. They didn’t need to.

 Near the end of March, I served a woman whom I had never seen before. It wouldn’t be weird to me because I do that all the time, except for a striking resemblance to a girl who used to come in here all the time, and the fact that she was buying a purple Monster energy drink and a pack of Stride Spearmint gum. And did I mention this corner store JUST HAPPENED to be just over the hill to the hospital? The woman’s hair was disheveled and she bore unmistakable signs of fatigue in the shadows under her eyes and the droop of her shoulders. She spoke in hushed tones to the woman standing next to her, whom I assumed was her sister of friend. Completely unintentionally, I caught snippets of their conversation. “ ...still refusing to eat...heartrate dangerously low...better in time for prom...” As I handed her her receipt, I smiled at her and wished her a good day as sincerely as I could.

 That night, I tried to finish watching Beauty and the Beast but I only got as far as the dance in the ballroom and Belle wearing her beautiful yellow dress. I reflected that yellow doesn’t look good on many people. In the meantime, I knew the rose in the tower of the castle was wilting. Time was running out. This Beauty felt more like the Beast and I didn’t know if she would get to dance with her prince. This story of a girl and boy is shaping up more like a Shakespearian tale than a Disney movie after all.

 A couple weeks later, I looked up to see a tall, dirty-blonde boy enter the corner store. He didn’t pick up Nestea and Lifesavers this time. He went straight to the Monster cooler and picked out a purple one, then a pack of Stride Spearmint gum, then on the counter next to them he placed a greeting card. There was a cartoon Teddy bear on the front with a bandaid on his head and big bold letters above it: “Get Well Soon!” I wanted to say something, but what would I say?

 “I’m sorry your ex-girlfriend who dumped you because she’s sick and whom you’re obviously still in love with is in the hospital”

 Yeah, no, that’s a little creepy.

 I thought for a second, then threw caution to the winds and just said

 “How is she?”

 He looked up as though mildly surprised that I was speaking to him, and took a minute to process my question.

 “She’s doing better than she was.”

 I nodded. “That’s good.”

 Then he left.

 I remember clearly Saturday, April 28th Lifesavers-Guy came in my store again. He didn’t buy a single thing, just marched straight the counter and said

 “Can I show you something?”

 I was completely taken aback and slightly apprehensive. In the past, such a question had precipitated photos of cats in various attitudes of idleness, of school portraits of grandchildren, but I didn’t know what to expect from this teenager.

 “Sure.”

 He reached into his pocket and pulled out a photo. It was of a couple under an arch decorated with swaths of white tulle and flowers. He wore dress pants, dress shirt, vest and tie and she wore a beautiful yellow dress, a perfect fairy tale dress. I recognized the dark hair with caramel highlights and the smile I had seen the day they met – the same glowing smile like a child had said their first word. She still looked skinny but I could see signs of returning curves, like back in June when I described her as “Very Normal.”

 “That was at her prom last Saturday.” He said.

 I looked up at him. “She’s beautiful.”

 He smiled. “I know.”

 That night I went home and finally finished watching Beauty and the Beast.  As Belle and her Prince kissed at the end and fireworks went off, I reflected on how thankful I am that there are people in this world who know true beauty when they see it.

 You know that moment – when you step off the schoolbus in the afternoon, or when you shut your bedroom door behind you, or lie in bed at night, and just breathe deeply, finally completely alone – you know the person you are in that moment? That’s the real you, with all your true hopes and dreams and values. Nobody can watch you or judge you, or tell you what to do or who to be. You should be that person more often. Who cares what anybody thinks? Because I can promise you there is somebody out there who will love the true you. 

What is your opinion on purity rings?

Teehee, guess what…I wear a purity ring. 

I wear it on my wedding finger and everything. It says “Purity” on one side and “Matthew 5:8” on the other. I ordered it online from c28.com. 

I’ve heard a lot of differing opinions on the topic of purity rings. Some people think it’s really corny and stupid and seem to associate it with the image of a really sheltered, socially inept, uber-religious freak. One woman wrote a blog post that I read about how she stopped wearing hers because it said “True Love Waits” and she felt that it was indicative of her attitude of expectancy. Like she kept asking God to send her a husband and she realized that she was too hung up on it and wanted to find her worth and fulfillment in God instead of waiting for a man. 

I would like to think that I don’t belong to either of those categories. I KNOW for certain that I’m not pining away for a man. I can barely last 4 months in a relationship; I just love being single. And I have a whole bunch of plans for my life that don’t really require a husband. So I’m fairly secure in the knowledge that that’s not the reason I wear it. And although my decision to remain celibate until marriage is old-fashioned and prudish to a lot of people, I don’t think I’m out of touch with reality or brainwashed or crazy or anything. So the ring doesn’t have to be tied to that image. 

The reason that I wear it is that I like to wear my heart on my sleeve. I love outward expressions of my convictions. I have tshirts that advertise everything from my identity as a newfoundlander to my religious beliefs to my opinions on human trafficking and dating. And I like the idea of a tangible symbol of my decision to save sex for marriage. That’s all there is to it. 

Purity rings are generally harmless and innocent in and of themselves. Whether you decide to wear one or not is a personal decision and, I would venture to say, not even a very important one. It has no bearing on the validity of your decision, and it has no control over your actions. It’s just a symbol. Also, it is not, as one of my friends thought, a promise ring. No one gave me my purity ring and said “save yourself for me”. That’d be weird. 

Okay, that’s all I have to say! hahaThanks for the question :)Peace and love! -Katherine 

The Friend Zone  Four-part Rant of the Day part 2

Are you aware of the process of courting before engagement? It's like hands-off dating until you're engaged and then only hugs and hand-holding until you're married. How do you feel about this, is it something you would do?

Hello! I am indeed aware of such a process! In fact, one of my best friends is Muslim and that’s basically what they do…it’s like hands-off dates with a chaperone. I know it sounds sooo tiresome, but the whole point is to find out whether you are interested in spending the rest of your life with this person. And honestly, it sounds to me like they’re perfected the art of dating.

I am very incredibly interested in what it would be like. I think I really would try it. I don’t think that it’s necessary to remain pure, and I’ve always looked rather askance at the concept of saving your first kiss for your wedding day (simply because I think it’s a tad extreme, and unnecessary). So I don’t exactly think that it’s the right way to do it, but I think it sounds very interesting. It might be a good idea :P

I find that the physical aspect of a relationship has the potential to cloud judgment. Provided I can determine whether or not I’m physically attracted to someone and be aware of it (which I can, I dunno bout you :P) - because physical chemistry still is and always will be a very important part of a relationship - I think that it’s a “smart” way to do dating. You spend your time productively finding out how your values and worldview line up, and discussing thoughts and ideas instead of just, like, macking. :P

Because as important as physical chemistry is, it’s not what holds a marriage together. Mutual respect, appreciation, admiration and commitment is what holds a marriage together. And it’s possible that the way most people do dating focuses too closely on the physical aspect, and doesn’t prepare them for the future. So I think the process of courting *could* potentially produce stronger marriages. 

So in theory, I’m all for it. In practice…….

Honestly, I don’t even know if I could do it :P Well, I guess I could. I probably wouldn’t like it though :P When I’m in a relationship, the mental energy I devote to the physical part is divided evenly between paranoia about PDA and “I can’t wait to kiss him again”. So I think in one way, it’d be best kind! In another, it would annoy me. Thankfully, my love language is not physical touch! It’s words of affirmation, so I think that as long as I got to talk and text, I’d survive. 

Haha that was probably a long of information about me you didn’t need to know. But hopefully, it helps you understand my perspective. :) 

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

Whats your opinion of bisexual people?

Hey :) Thanks for your question! How shall I put this? Bisexual people fall under the umbrella of “all people” and I have only one single opinion on all people: All people are beautiful and wonderful and lovely. All people are worthy of love and respect. All people are treasured fiercely and intimately by their creator. All people are loved by God and by me. 

Regardless of age, gender, colour, creed, religious views, sexual orientation. Regardless of their past. Regardless of whatever they might think is wrong with them. 

That is the only opinion I will ever offer on people, in general. And really, it is NONE of my beeswax who other people love/are attracted to/sleep with.

I have talked a bit more in depth about the conflict between homosexuality and the church here, here and here.  In every single one of those questions, I and the question-asker both specifically used the word “homosexuality”. Now that I think about it, I suppose you could generally apply the opinions expressed in those posts to anyone of the LGBTQ community. In conclusion, it doesn’t matter who you are. It doesn’t matter what you believe or how you live. My job is to love you. Period. And that’s what I’m gonna do. :)  

Thanks for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine 

Does the Pentecostal church allow gay marriage ?

Hi there :) 

***[I know a simple yes or no would suffice, but this is gonna be another long answer. I have, as usual, bolded important sentences for those who would rather skim.]*** 

This is going to be difficult for me to tell you, but I’m afraid that the Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada, with which the Pentecostal Assemblies of Newfoundland are affiliated - and therefore under which my own church exists - do not sanction gay marriage. Here is the “Statement of Fundamental and Essential Truths”. You will find homosexuality is addressed in section 5.9.1, “Marriage and the Family”. Here are a couple key quotes from that section:

"Marriage is a provision of God wherein one man and one woman to the exclusion of all others enter into a lifelong relationship through a marriage ceremony that is recognized by the church and legally sanctioned by the state."

…

"Marriage can only be broken by porneia, which is understood as marital unfaithfulness involving adultery, homosexuality, or incest. While the Scriptures give evidence that the marriage vow and "one-flesh" union are broken by such acts and therefore recognize the breaking of the marriage relationship, the Scriptures do recommend that the most desirable option would be reconciliation."

I imagine this is an affront to you, and I can understand why. I would like to justify the church’s stance, but I won’t. This decision is for two reasons: 

Firstly, because if what you want is for the Pentecostal church to allow gay marriage, then nothing I say will soothe your offended sensibilities. 

Secondly, because these practices apply only to members of the Pentecostal church: people who have actively chosen to participate in this institution, and whom evidently understand and are satisfied with the beliefs and practices. 

However, I will offer some of my own thoughts to supplement the information I’ve just given you.

[] 

Katherine’s thoughts: 

1. The Pentecostal church is part of the “private” sector, by which I mean that we are a non-profit organization and we are not affiliated with the government, be it federal, provincial, etc. Therefore, we do not attempt to extend our beliefs to anybody outside of our members. People who choose to become a member of the church (which, in case you’re wondering, is an official process involving an application and an interview) choose to abide by the practices set forth by the church, and that’s why those people chose to become a member in the first place. Therefore, the church will not corporately try to influence legislation involving gay marriage. How the church’s members vote is their individual decision, and in my experience, my church has never even discussed politics, let alone tried to influence my personal political beliefs. 

2. I am completely sure that while a person who is married to someone else of the same sex and/or gender may not choose to be a member of our church, NO ONE will discourage them from attending the services or benefiting from the various programs we offer. Being a member is a very official thing, and even though I’ve attended the church since birth, I’m still not a member. Membership involves stuff like voting for pastoral staff and board members and attending annual business meetings and boring stuff like that. So you could totally come on Sundays and chill with us and we won’t say anything to you. You could attend and volunteer and participate at Bethesda for 50 years and never be a member, so there’s that loophole. 

3. [THIS ONE IS SUPER IMPORTANT] Christianity is, above all, about a very personal, very intimate relationship with God. If you do not currently have an acquaintance with God, I would strongly encourage you to get to know Him. And if you want to, don’t let anybody or anything, including the church, including your sexual orientation, including the people in your life, dissuade you from doing so. Don’t ever let anybody tell you that there’s anything separating you from God, or that you have to change something about yourself before you get to know Him. He is waiting for you, exactly as you are, right here, right now, and He loves you exactly as you are, and nothing you do could ever make Him love you less….or more.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”- Romans 8:38-39

We as the church, are attempting to function as the “body” of Christ, that is to say, the mortal manifestation of His divine love here in the natural world. We are not God, and we cannot judge you or tell you what to do. Only He can do that. And if you have some questions about your lifestyle, I suggest you take it up with Him, not me. I don’t know anything. 

4. [This one is a little more complex and not quite fully formed so bear with me.] Pentecostals are what one might call “orthodox” Christians, which means that we believe firmly in the Bible as the complete and absolute truth. We cannot deny that the New Testament states that practicing homosexuality is not a lifestyle officially condoned by the Christian church. That’s why it’s part of the official Pentecostal statutes. As Christians, we must trust that God is a divine being infinitely more wise and more powerful than us, and that His word is truth, and that the Bible is the inspired word of God, due to its historical credibility, internal consistency and enduring influence. As such, we must trust that His plan for our lifestyle is a good one. If this is due singularly to the biology of His creation, and the fact that babies generally occur from heterosexual sex, then I guess I can see how that kinda makes sense. But in reality, I can’t actually see how anything makes any sense ever, because I’m a finite human (which is redundant, because there is no such thing as an infinite human, but I really wanted to drive the point home). I just go through life trusting in a higher power than myself (with good reasons to do so, I might add. Please see here). That means that I trust Him despite my personal opinions and despite what’s going on around me. This puts us in a rather difficult situation when it comes to formulating an opinion on homosexuality because I genuinely do think that it’s not a choice. 

5. For this reason, I have taken this as my official personal stance on homosexuality and Christianity: "Love is my ultimate answer to any question, because God is Love and Love is as close to the divine as you will get in this life. I adhere to two inalienable truths - God loves you and I love you. This love is unconditional, and has nothing to do with whether or not we agree on…anything, really. My purpose and goal in life is to show you that God loves you. I attempt to do this by loving you. And I really really want you to experience this radical, world-changing, earth-shattering, mind-blowing, paradigm-shifting love of God for yourself because it will literally change your life. And I believe that you can experience this love no matter what. No conditions apply. None. I will never tell you how to live your life, and if you have questions about your lifestyle, talk to God, not me." 

6. [Last one, finally!] Like I said, Christianity means a relationship with God, not belonging to a church. However, I strongly advocate for finding a group of believers to offer support and solidarity and encouragement in your faith. So I recommend finding a church where you feel safe and comfortable. If that’s not a Pentecostal church, that’s okay. But above all, I want you to know God. 

Okay all done! 

Thanks for your question :) As always, tip next time, 

Peace and love! -Katherine

10 Awesome Quotes from C.S. Lewis

“Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not.”

“The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”

“You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”

“I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.”

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

“A man can no more diminish God’s glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word ‘darkness’ on the walls of his cell.”

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

“God can’t give us peace and happiness apart from Himself because there is no such thing.”

“Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

“I didn’t go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don’t recommend Christianity.”