Are You Aware Of The Process Of Courting Before Engagement? It's Like Hands-off Dating Until You're Engaged

Who, me?

I would just like to throw it out there that if God can use me, God can use ANYONE. My friend once said something to me to the effect of “I wish I could be like you. You’re so amazing and spiritual and wise.” HA! We were texting, so to that I replied “L.O. - freaking - L.” And I told her exactly what I’m about to tell you…in less than 140 characters. You get the extended version.

My friend looks up to me, but she doesn’t see the insecurity, the fear, the lack of discipline, the pride, and all the GUNK that messes up the inside of my heart. She reminded me of an instance where I was giving her advice and she said that I said the exact right thing. I remember that particular moment very well. It was the moment where I was sitting there praying silently, “God, I have no idea what I’m doing, I’m way out of my league here, I really need your help! Give me the right words to say!” And He DID!

Not because I was worthy, but because I was willing.

See, we don’t have to have it all together before God can use us. We don’t have to be mature and confident and eloquent and spiritual and have great faith and know everything to be used by God. In fact, if we were able to minister to people on our own, what would the point even be? If we could witness to people all on our own power, what would we be witnessing about? There’s a verse in the bible that says “I will boast in my weakness because in my weakness, God’s strength is revealed.” Paul wrote it. And that’s the whole point. We can’t do this on our own and that’s the beautiful part where God’s holiness fills in all the gaps in us. In Him, we are whole.

So it’s not up to us to “convince” anybody of anything. Truth is truth, and we are called just to give it all to God and let Him flow through us. We need merely be the mouthpiece, and He will do all the work on their hearts, through His Holy Spirit. Doesn’t that take the pressure off? One pastor once said “I couldn’t save a blade of grass.” And it’s true, we can’t save anybody, God does that.

So my whole point is that no matter who you are and how bad you think you are, God CAN and WILL use you, if you’re willing.

A great resource I drew upon as part of my inspiration for this post was the message of pastor Brad Noel at a youth conference in 2010. He called his message “Lessons in FAITH from Doubters, Wimps, Jellyfish, Murderers and Whiners.” Here are some examples of Bible “Heroes” he gave who did great things for God, and definitely didn’t have it all together! Gideon was afraid and insecure. Elijah didn’t think he was spiritual enough. Peter denied Jesus in a moment of panic. King David was an adulterer and a murderer. John the Baptist felt that he couldn’t hear God’s call anymore.

As most of us probably know, these guys are prominent heroes and role models of the Bible. Gideon was always portrayed to me as a great warrior and leader. Elijah performed more miracles than any other prophet in the Old Testament. Peter founded the first early church with his oration skills. David was called “a man after God’s own heart”. John the Baptist seems like the ultimate example of selflessness and humility in his fervent witnessing. And yet, these guys weren’t superheroes! They were normal people, like you and me.

Finally, I can testify that if you ask God to give you the right words, whether you realise it or not, He will. You would be surprised how He uses the randomest stuff you say. Or do. I weep at the realisation that my words have actually made an impact on people. Because I know that it’s all God using me. And it’s so humbling. I can’t believe that God would use me, as messed up and undeserving as I am. I mean, I can’t even handle my own mortal life, let alone my own eternal life, and DEFINITELY not someone else’s eternal life! I need Jesus, and astoundingly, He doesn’t need me, but He wants me! And He actually sees me as something lovely, and something useful! I am so honoured that I am usable to God.

And like I said, if God will use me, He will definitely use you. The world sees your physical qualifications, but His eyes roam the earth, searching for a devoted heart. Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. Have enough faith to stop trying on your own and give it all the God, and watch the mountains move as the Holy Spirit flows through you.

How do you feel about living with someone before you're married?

Well…I think it’s really..dangerous. Like, I’ve decided that I’m not gonna have sex before marriage. And living ALONE, TOGETHER, with someone makes it reeeeeeeally easy to have sex with them. Basically, if I were living with my boyfriend, I’m pretty sure we’d have sex. I know my limitations, and I definitely don’t trust myself that much. So I wouldn’t do it. :P I’m staying faaaaarrrr away from that line.

Thank for the question! Peace and love! -Katherine

Lost Generation

Is sex before marriage a sin? If so, why? Does the ceremony make a difference to God if you're in a fully committed relationship? Is it a sin to have sex the night before the wedding but not a sin 24 hours later? I've always believed in waiting but now I'm questioning what the difference is to God

In your question I can see that you have already gotten rid of the idea of marriage as a covenant. When you ask “does the ceremony make a difference to God if you’re in a fully committed relationship?” the answer is yes because it’s not a fully committed relationship until the ceremony that symbolizes the covenant relationship between you and your spouse before God. If marriage is just a ceremony or a social contract, then yeah, it wouldn’t make that big of a deal, but it is so much more than that. It is an image of the relationship that Christ has with his bride the Church. 

Marriage is not the small thing that the culture has made it out to be. The call in marriage is to give your life for your spouse, and when people throw their marriages away for nothing then it gives people the idea that marriage really isn’t that big of a deal and that in the end it’s basically just like any other relationship. Once you start thinking that way, then marriage becomes irrelevant. But that’s not what marriage is. It’s a covenant between you your spouse and God, and as such it should be treated with great reverence.

KB’s ruthless advice for grownups

whatever happened to you is not your fault, but how you handle it is your responsibility. 

if you don’t deal with your shit, no one will. 

other people do not exist for your consumption. 

happiness, self-worth, and love do not come from other people. make your own happiness, decide your own self worth, love yourself. no one else is gonna do that for you. 

you are in control of your life. be purposeful. 

feelings are valid, but they often lie, and they always fade. learn not to be at their mercy. 

your choices are what make you who you are. choose wisely. 

I'm not attacking your beliefs, i'm just playing devils advocate. Why do you believe in Christianity? There's no proof of any reality to the bible.

Here :)

My Manifesto

I am a Christian. That means that I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. He is there for me every hour of every day, He listens to me and comforts me, guides me, helps me, inspires me, empowers me, restores me, heals me, blesses me and walks with me through the bad times. He gives me life, peace, hope, joy and freedom. Most importantly He LOVES me. No matter how screwed up I am. He is my teacher, healer, redeemer, my best friend, my king and my Lord. He is my Savior.

 I believe in the one true God, the omniscient, omnipresent and omnipotent creator and supreme ruler of the universe. I believe he sprinkled the stars in the sky and hung the sun in the vast expanse of space. I believe He created us with love and a purpose, and made the entire Earth just right for us. And He is threefold: He is at once The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. I believe that Jesus Christ was fully God and fully man. That the infinite was contained within the confines of space and time and that GOD dwelt among us in a human frame. And I believe that Jesus, the one who was absolutely wholly pure and perfect, was crucified in the most inhumane way possible to take the penalty for every time we screw up. I believe He died and three days later, rose again. He conquered the grave. He is the Lord of life and of death so that NOTHING, not even the powers of Hell can separate us from His love.

 That means that we are free. Free from the bondages of addiction, depression and self-harm. Free from cutting, from drugs, and from all the pain and hurt. Free from anorexia and bulimia. Free from porn. Free from the lie that says we have to fit in and wear the right clothes, be a size double 0 and have perfect hair, skin and teeth. Free from every time someone told us we aren't good enough. Free from all the times we say that to ourselves. Free from hatred. Jesus conquered all that stuff when the nails pierced his hands and blood ran down the rugged wooden cross.

 You know why? Because He loves us. We are his children, the apple of His eye, His treasure. More precious than any other of His myriad creations. Priceless. He created us in love with free will to be our own people and to do our own thing and He let us choose Him. And some of us didn't. But He longs to have a relationship with us. He created us to be His companions, in His image in fact, with a soul and a spirit that instinctively seeks to be close to Him. He created us to live forever, in paradise with Him.

 But we have alienated ourselves. God's justice demands that we pay the penalty for the mistakes we make. That's fair right? We screw up, we take the consequences. Is it still fair when the consequences for our sinful nature is that we can't go to Heaven and live forever, that we die? Well yeah. And God's name, YAHWEH, means "I Am that I Am." He will not go against His own nature and elude justice by not letting us pay the price for our sin. So that means we're all going to die.

 Because we all make mistakes. Come one now, you can't tell me you've never felt like you would do anything at all to take back that one day, or week or month. That you've never felt unworthy to live and you've hated yourself? I have. We are nowhere near perfect and we hurt ourselves and we hurt other people. In the depths of our hearts, we hold hatred for other people. And hating someone is such a terrible emotion that it's tantamount to murdering them in our heads. And our sin, the evil poisoning our hearts and minds, is killing us.

 That sucks though. We don't want to die. God doesn't want us to die either. But where is all this Karmic, Cosmic debt gonna go? What happens with all the mistakes we make? What about all this pain I've caused? It can't just disappear. SOMEONE has to take the consequences. Someone has to pay the debt. But it can't be anyone human, we're all in debt. It had to be God. It had to be someone who had never done anything wrong and who had no sin. And humans were the ones in need of saving so it had to be a human. So God stepped into our galaxy. He was incarnated in the body of a tiny baby boy in a lowly stable in Bethlehem, Judea. And He grew up, never did a thing wrong, but hated by the people He came to save. And they killed Him, all according to the plan designed by God. Then He came back. See how this works?

 Now, some ask, how can there be a loving God when there is so much bad stuff in the world? How can He love me so much if He lets me go through all this stuff? He could very easily make this world a perfect world. And He could remove murder, rape, adultery, divorce, war, terrorism, racism, slavery, oppression, starvation and poverty. But let's stop and think about how He would go about that. All those things are entirely out fault. It's not fate, it's not the devil, it's not random, this messed up world is messed up by the people living in it. So how would He get rid of all that stuff? Get rid of us? Or change us? Change the way we think? Would He have to go all the way deep down into the very fabric of our souls, the motives of our hearts and the patterns of our thoughts? Because we are human, and to get rid of bad stuff would be to either obliterate all of us or to remove our free will. He could make it so that we never have a single bad thought. But we'd all be robots. If we're all perfect, that means we're all the same. What's the point?

 No, He made us with a choice. We can choose Him. And He gave us this world and we messed it up. And we walked away from Him. But our souls long to be united with Him again. We don't know what we're missing but we know that something is. We are all trying to ease the pain, to fill the void, to make sense of this life. We search for meaning and significance and fulfillment in friends, family, relationships, travel, food, sex, drugs, career, politics, literature, money, possesions, music and religion. But none of those things will ever cut it.

 Hold on now, you say, you just listed religion. Aren't you preaching Christianity? Isn't that a religion? And you just said that religion's not gonna cut it. No no, religion is rules and traditions. Christianity is a personal relationship with Jesus. Totally different. Don't get caught up in the "Don't do this, don't do that." Don't get confused by Catholic vs. Pentecostal. Those are denominations, but I don't like defining myself by a denomination.

 I am a Christian. I love Jesus and Jesus loves me. And I screw up but He forgives me. And when I step from this world to the next, He will be waiting for me and I will party up in Heaven with Jesus for all eternity. 

The Law and The One Who Made The Law

On Sunday, I was helping out with the kiddies program in the morning church service. I LOVE being with the kids, but this morning I felt that there was something wrong. The lesson was about sin, and I think that the message the kids were supposed to take home was "Don't Sin." We told them stories about people who did drugs and stole stuff and ran away from homes and discussed the various mistakes these people made, and defined sin and then told them that the people in the stories met Jesus and cleaned up their lives and went on to do a whole bunch of really great things for God. 

I'm sure it sounds like a very positive message at first glance, but something really unsettled me about it: 

It's all well and good to tell the kids to obey their parents and tell the truth and share and don't do drugs and stay in school. However, why are we so focused on all these rules for how we should behave and not on The One who made the rules? 

Cause see, the gospel is not a behaviour-control program. The church does not exist to make sure that everyone is following the rules. And Jesus didn't die so that we would have to be perfect. 

What I'm trying to say is that instead of telling these kids what they can and cannot do, we should introduce them to Jesus, and tell them about his amazy-crazy, upside-down inside-out, spin-you-all-around LOVE. I think that we should tell them that Jesus knows them better than anyone else in the world and that He loves them more than anyone else in the world does. I think we should tell them that they are His precious treasure, His beloved son/daughter, the apple of His eye. I think we should tell them that He has an awesome plan for their life and that He's gonna do great things in them and through them. Finally, I think we should tell them that He loves them so much that He died for them, so that their sins would be repaid and they could go to heaven. Don't you think that such a message would be far more effective than "Don't do this. Don't do that." I feel like if they knew the one who made them and loves them, they would be naturally less inclined to seek fulfillment in thrills, drugs, alcohol and sex ANYWAY, and we wouldn't have to try and hammer it into their skulls so much. 

Don't get me wrong, we do tell the kids all the stuff I said up there. We tell it to them all the time. My church is not remiss in informing the children of their infinite value to their creator. I just think that if Sunday morning's service was the only one a child had ever been to, they would think that church was just a list of Do's and Don'ts. So I believe that instead of just talking about sin, we need to prevent a more holistic view of the relationship between God and humans. I think we need to present the gospel to these kids in BIG BOLD ITALIC CAPS every single time we see them, because knowing the love of Christ is infinitely more important than knowing the rules. 

That's all.  Peace and love!  -Katherine

This is the guy who, ignoring the opinions of others, bee-lined toward those whom His culture had identified as sinful. Jesus modeled it for us and He told story after story to make sure we got the message. He desperately wanted us to know that His Father seeks the lost like a shepherd looking for His scrappy sheep. He searches for us like a woman who’s lost a precious coin. He welcomes the very worst sinners with the delight of a father whose son was dead but is now alive. Before He ever suggested, “Go and sin no more,” Jesus first welcomed and received unrepentant sinners.

are you allowed to wear clothes above the knee?

Yes, I suppose I am "allowed" haha :P the are no rules for what I should or should not wear. It's basically a judgment call for everything I wear. I have personal preferences: I don't like to show off my boobs, belly or butt so my clothes cover those essentials. My shorts usually come about halfway down my thighs and my tank tops have straps that are like two finger-widths thick, for example :P Yeah, that's all!Peace and love! -Katherine