Lost Generation

KB’s ruthless advice for grownups

whatever happened to you is not your fault, but how you handle it is your responsibility. 

if you don’t deal with your shit, no one will. 

other people do not exist for your consumption. 

happiness, self-worth, and love do not come from other people. make your own happiness, decide your own self worth, love yourself. no one else is gonna do that for you. 

you are in control of your life. be purposeful. 

feelings are valid, but they often lie, and they always fade. learn not to be at their mercy. 

your choices are what make you who you are. choose wisely. 

if you're feeling powerless right now—and god knows I am—here's a reminder you can donate to the National Network of Abortion Funds, the Trans Law Center, Gaza Soup Kitchen, the Palestine Children's Relief Fund, and hundreds of other charities that will work to mitigate the damage that has been and will continue to be inflicted

life continues. we still have the capacity to do good, important work. that matters

Don't be fooled by kids and their follies, you have wisdom beyond fear.

I don’t know where this came from but I like it!

Is there a particular reason why you want to wait to have sex?

Hello! Thank you for your question :)There are a few reasons that I’ve decided to wait. The first and most important being that I believe God created sex as an absolutely beautiful and breathtaking thing, but as with all things possessing great power, it was created to be used in a specific way. I’m serious, when we were learning about reproduction in biology, I was like a little kid, like “THIS IS SO COOL!!” The human body fascinates me. And sex is a part of that. It’s designed in all its intricacy to have multiple functions on relational, physiological, and reproductive levels. We are humans, and as humans, we were created to have sex. I’m not even kidding. I don’t actually think that full-on lifetime celibacy and abstinence is necessarily a good thing. For some people, like Paul, it works. For others, it doesn’t. But I also believe with all of my heart that humans were created to be monogamous. Why else would we be so infatuated with fairy tales and “only true love’s kiss can break the spell”? God created us like that. So He created us to have sex and He created us to be monogamous. And so, in the logical progression of this train of thought, He created us to have sex within the confines of monogamy. So…where does marriage come into this? Marriage, to God, is a sacred and holy covenant, before men and before Him. Breaking such a bond is in no way taken lightly. Therefore, for the majority* of cases, a Christian marriage means literally “until death do us part”. In this way, we are assured that we only share these more intimate parts of us with someone who has pledged to love us forever. (See 1 Corinthians 7:2 and Hebrews 13:4)And of course, I trust God explicitly, so I believe that the way He designed sex is the way it was designed to be used, and that’s the way I intend to use it. Also, here’s why, from a totally human perspective that I (in my infinite wisdom..ha. ha. ha.) agree with God. The emotional crap that comes along with sex. Man like, I’ve seen a girl fall for some guy she met a month ago and have a night of passion under the stars and yeah yeah yeah I’m sure it was all so romantic, but after that he left and she couldn’t get over him for years. And I don’t even know if she ever totally will. I’ve seen a girl sleep with 8 different guys in a year, including one who was 1.5 times her age, and she’s as emotionally easy as she is sexually. She’s hungry for attention and validation from guys because she can’t find it in herself. I love both of these girls dearly, and their choices are not mine, and I will never presume to tell them what they should or should not do. But again, their choices are not mine, and while I will not judge, I will not make the same choices.  Cause y’all can deny it, but there is a hormone called Oxytocin which is released by the brain during sex, colloquially dubbed “the cuddle hormone” that gives you all the warm and fuzzy feels. You know what the purpose of this hormone is? To strengthen interpersonal bonds. It’s secreted by the brain during breastfeeding to fortify the connection between a mom and her baby, and it’s secreted by the brain during sex to fortify the connections between you and the person you’re having sex with. Now you go ahead and try to tell me you’re not gonna have any emotions associated with sex. Honestly, I’ll point-blank refuse to believe you. I get emotions associated with all kinds of trivial things, when I’m into the guy. I don’t even wanna think about how crazy I’d get if we brought sex into the equation. Jeepers. That’s like incorporating the alphabet in math. This situation just got a whole new level of complicated. So basically, I wanna wait to have sex til I’m married cause then they’re trapped, muahahaha. I’m joking. But I don’t want to literally become naked (meaning vulnerable and defenceless), strip myself of all the barriers we put up to protect ourselves, and go to that place of intimacy with someone who might walk away in a year’s time and whom I might never see again. Or I might walk away from them. The point is that why invest everything you have in something that might not even last? 

I think sex is gonna be amazing. I just think it’ll be amazing-er within the boundaries of marriage than it would be without. Finally, check out this quote from the song Temptation by the 116clique: "Sex is a gift from God but we’ve taken it and made it idolatry.We’ve taken it and put it in the place of God. And we worship it so it comes out in all kinds of profane ways. So we blame the women for what they’re wearing And we blame the media for what they’re producing. But we never blame ourselvesFor how we’ve twisted God’s gift to glorify us.”  Peace and love! -Katherine *I think for me personally, divorce is not only an option, but the option in cases such as abuse or infidelity. 

You don't have to distance yourself from those who speak out on behalf of you and your people group. Whether it be girls who don't identify with feminism or Pharrell calling himself "new black". You are allowed to acknowledge injustice afflicted on you. You are allowed to be outspoken. You don't have to be progressive and conciliatory for the sake of avoiding conflict. Conflict always accompanies change, but it doesn't mean that the change isn't necessary. You don't have to dissociate yourself from that.

Also in regards to Paul, there are many who believe that he was either a widower or divorced (perhaps his wife left him when he became a Christian). He speaks to older widows and says they shouldn't get married but stay like him, which many take to imply that he had been married but chose not to remarry. Also being married may have been a requirement to be on the Jewish council. Anyway, I loved your response, but I just wanted to address those two things. Have a blessed day :)

Hmmm…that’s really cool! I’d never even heard of that theory until now! I will definitely be doing some digging. This then, is a good example of why fact checking is important. I think I’ll see if I can make some edits to the earlier response to correct that misinformation. Regardless, do you still agree that a celibate marriage is probably not so much a great idea? Haha :) Thank you very much, I’m so glad you took the time to message me! It’s always great to get input from people smarter and wiser than I am haha. Also, thanks and I hope you have an awesome day too :)-Katherine 

"Only God Can Judge Me"

God, being the standard by which perfection is measured God, being the epitome of goodness  God, being the divine creator And supreme ruler Of the universe... God, who is light and warmth and truth and life... God, who is breath and thought... God, who is existence itself... Who is the fibre of the universe... Who is the blood in your veins and the light in your eyes... Yes, God can judge you. Yes, God is the only one who can judge you.  And God is the only one who will not judge you.  Therein lies the power of the blood.  The triumph of the cross.  The scandal of grace.  In that single, simple truth, Winds whisper Waves crash Oceans roar The mountains tremble The earth shakes The ground splits The veil is torn in two And the stars and planets dance The whole universe proclaims 

"There is no condemnation here." 

The miracle of redemption is that God, being the only one who can condemn us, is the only one who can offer us freedom from that very condemnation. All we have to do is accept it. 

The next time you say "only God can judge me", think about that. 

What if everyone everywhere woke up this morning,

Feeling collegial?

What if their very first inclination was to trust one another,

And their strivings toward kindness, rather than rage?

Our country has sunk its teeth into rabid defenses

Refusing to yield

Jaws locked around its...