Kitchen Witching Is One Of My Favorites Tbh 🫖

⛤Love Spell With A Pink Satin Ribbon⛤

This is a ritual that serves to attract love. 

You’ll need:

A pink satin ribbon

A pink candle

It is necessary to prepare one pink ribbon of satin so that it does not have a knot, which we will wrap around the candle of soft pink color. 

Then the following is written on the paper:

"I am asking Venus, the goddess of love, to send me true love (say what virtues and characteristics a person should have)."

This paper is left next to the burning candle. 

Before the candle burns out, take the pink ribbon and carry it in a wallet or purse.

⛤Isidora ⛤

how you can use social media in a healthy way

set your intention:

what use do you want to make of social media?

which apps do you want to keep using and which not (or reduce their consumption)?

how much time are you spending on it? how much do you want to spend on it?

establishes limits of use:

you can activate or deactivate certain applications when you are no longer using them so that they do not distract you or add a time limit depending on how much time or how many days a week you want to use the app.

how to set the time of use?:

ios:

settings > usage time > limit app usage > add limit

you can also limit apps only in focus, work, do not disturb or whatever mode you have set.

settings > focus > the category in which you want to activate it > focus filters

android:

settings > well-being and parental controls > set time for your apps

pros and cons:

make a list of where social media is good for you and where it is bad for you. anything that is hurting you stop watching or following.

value your real time:

not having social media or having control over it brings you more in your life and personal growth. for example, how many of us have woken up and the first thing we have done was to look at instagram or another social network and that has made us lose time of our morning? instead you can do a short meditation or breathing to start the day off right, it also reduces stress and anxiety.

just think about how much you spend a week being stuck in social media and imagine what activities you could develop in that time.

other tips:

look for an activity you would like to try

socialize more with your friends

keep your cell phone away from you or in a “do not disturb” or “concentration” mode when you are engaged in an activity

spend more time in nature

uninstall or deactivate those apps that no longer benefit you, try it for a while.

don't take anything personally from what people may share there.

conclusions:

when you have a routine, things to do, you don't pay as much attention to being online all the time, so it's not such a hard task. i'm not saying stop using your phone but i'm writing this post for all those people who spend all day scrolling or really spend a lot of time watching tik tok or instagram, that's not healthy in the end.

of course you can still use social media but with knowledge and in a way that does not harm you or does not compromise your time too much. the most important thing is not to be glued to a phone watching what others do but enjoy your life.

Unsolicited Witch Tip 24

Catching a falling leaf before it hits the ground is supposed to be good luck. Add it to your altar for good luck, protection, and abundance throughout the autumn season.

How to Secure Admission as an International Student in UK Universities.

This article has been a long time coming. I decided to put together useful tips to help international students from Africa, who dream of pursuing a postgraduate degree in the UK, you’re not alone. As one, who ventured on this path alone without the help or support of a travel agent, to becoming an international student ambassador, I have detailed all the steps I took to make your transition smooth.

Every year, over 430,000 international students from 180+ countries study in the UK’s diverse and world-class universities . In fact, nearly half of those students are in postgraduate programs proving that the UK is a top destination for master’s and PhD studies.

The UK postgraduate application process for international students can seem daunting, but this friendly guide (from one international student to another) will walk you through each key step, from initial research to enrollment with tips tailored for African applicants.

By following these steps rightly, you’ll be well on your way to study in the UK.

Step 1: Research UK Universities and Postgraduate Courses

The first step is to research the courses and universities that match your interests and career goals. The UK has a wide variety of postgraduate programs, one-year taught Master’s degrees (e.g. MA, MSc), research degrees (MPhil/PhD), MBAs, and more across dozens of universities. Here’s how to get started:

• Identify your field of study:

Think about your intended subject and whether you want a taught course or research-based program. For example, do you want an MSc in Data Science or an MBA in Finance? This will narrow down your options.

• Use course search tools:

Leverage official resources like the UCAS postgraduate course search tool to find courses across different universities . You can filter by subject, location, and start date. The British Council’s Study UK site also has a course and scholarship finder to explore programs in the UK. (Useful Links and Sources are below)

• Check university rankings & reputation:

While rankings aren’t everything, they can give you an idea of a university’s strengths. More importantly, read about each university’s facilities, faculty, and support for international students. Many UK universities have a strong track record of research and teaching quality.

• Consider location and environment:

Do you prefer a bustling city like London or a quieter town? The UK offers big metropolitan campuses and smaller campus towns. Factor in cost of living too – London can be more expensive than other cities.

• Connect with current students or alumni:

If possible, reach out to African students currently studying in the UK (through social media groups or alumni networks). They can share first-hand insights about their university and course.

Personal Protip: You can choose to attend education fairs hosted by the British Council in your country, where UK university representatives could answer your questions. This would help you feel more confident about shortlisting your target universities.

Step 2: Check Admission Requirements (Qualifications and Language)

Once you have a shortlist of courses, the next step is to check the entry requirements for each program to ensure you’re eligible. UK universities will clearly list the qualifications and documents needed for admission. Pay attention to:

• Academic qualifications:

Verify that your undergraduate degree is equivalent to the UK requirements. Most UK Master’s programs require the equivalent of a bachelor’s degree with a certain grade (often a Second Class Honours upper division or “2:1” for competitive courses, or at least a 2:2 for others). Each school may have guidance on international qualifications. For example, the University of Cambridge advises applicants to “check that your non-UK qualifications meet the course requirements” . If you’re unsure how your African degree (e.g. a Nigerian BSc or a Ghanaian bachelor’s) compares, you can consult resources like UK ENIC (formerly NARIC) or ask the university’s admissions office for clarification. Generally, universities are familiar with common African qualifications and grading systems.

• English language proficiency:

If English isn’t your first language, you’ll need to prove you can speak, read, and write English at the required level . For most African countries, even if English is an official language (like Nigeria, Kenya, or Ghana), universities often require an English test unless you completed a prior degree in English. The typical tests accepted are IELTS or TOEFL. For instance, a university might ask for an IELTS score of 6.5 overall with no section below 6.0. Tip: Some universities may waive the test if you studied in English or have a high grade in a recognized English exam (like WAEC English in West Africa), but check the policy of each university. And remember, proof of English is not just for admission – it’s also needed for your visa. The UK visa requires you to meet a minimum English standard or come from an English-speaking country .

• Prerequisites and specific requirements:

Certain programs might have additional requirements. For example, an MBA might require work experience or a GMAT score; a PhD program will likely ask for a research proposal and to find a supervisor; some creative courses may require a portfolio. Make sure you note any such requirements early so you can prepare for them.

• Application deadlines:

Unlike undergraduate programs that have fixed UCAS deadlines, postgraduate application deadlines can vary. Many UK universities have rolling admissions for Masters courses, but popular programs (or scholarships) may have specific deadlines. Check if the course has a deadline or a recommended latest date to apply (often a few months before the course start). It’s generally advised to apply at least 6-9 months in advance. As an international student, applying early gives you time to sort out your visa and funding. (For courses starting in September, a good target is to apply by January–March of the same year.)

Note: Ensure that your name on all documents (passport, certificates, transcripts) is consistent. Any discrepancies (like different name spellings) should be backed by an affidavit or explanation, to avoid confusion during admission or visa stages. Also, if your documents aren’t in English (for example, French-speaking African countries), you’ll need official translations.

Step 3: Prepare Your Application Documents

With requirements in mind, start gathering and preparing the supporting documents you’ll need for your applications. A strong and complete application package will increase your chances of admission. Common application materials include:

• Academic transcripts and certificates:

You’ll need official transcripts from your undergraduate university, showing your courses and grades, and the degree certificate if you have graduated. If you’re in your final year of undergrad, you can usually apply with interim transcripts and provide the final result later. Make sure to have these documents in PDF format (and translated to English if necessary).

• Personal statement or statement of purpose:

This is a critical piece of your application where you introduce yourself, explain why you want to study the course, and how you’re qualified and motivated. It’s your chance to shine beyond grades. Be sure to tailor each personal statement to the specific course and university, mention what excites you about their program or faculty. Explain any aspects of your background (like projects, work experience, or research interests) that make you a good candidate. Keep the tone professional but genuine. As an African student, you can highlight unique perspectives or experiences you bring, but also convey that you understand what studying in the UK entails.

• Curriculum Vitae (CV)/Resume:

Most postgraduate applications will ask for your CV to detail your educational background, any work experience, internships, publications, or relevant skills. Focus on experiences related to your field. Keep it concise (1-2 pages) and up-to-date.

• Letters of recommendation (references):

Typically, you’ll need two academic references for a Masters application (often from professors or lecturers who know your work) . If you’ve been out of school for a while, one professional reference (from a supervisor at work) may be acceptable. It’s crucial to ask your referees early so they can enough have time to write a thoughtful recommendation. Provide them with your CV and statement so they have context. Universities usually have referees submit their letters directly through an online link or via official email, but you as the applicant will need to enter their contact details in the application system.

Pro tip: Don’t delay your application waiting for a slow professor to send the letter, you can often submit and have the letters added later. However, the admissions committee won’t review your application until references are received, so gently remind your referees if needed.

• Passport copy:

As an international applicant, you’ll be asked to upload a clear copy of your passport ID page. Make sure your passport will be valid through the duration of your studies. If it’s expiring soon, renew it now.

• Proof of English proficiency:

If required, attach your IELTS, TOEFL, or other test score report. Some universities allow you to apply first and provide the test result later as a condition of the offer. Check the policy, if you already have a satisfactory score, include it. (For example, you might upload your IELTS certificate showing you meet the minimum scores).

• Other documents:

Depending on the course, you may also need to include a research proposal (for research-based programs or PhDs), a portfolio of work (for art/design courses), or a writing sample. The application instructions will spell out if these are needed. Always read the specific requirements for each course and prepare those items.

Before submitting, be sure to double-check that all required documents are included. A missing document could delay your application review . Being organized and thorough at this stage sets you up for success.

Step 4: Submit Your Application (How to Apply to UK Universities from Africa)

Now comes the big moment, submitting your applications to the chosen university. Fortunately, the process of how to apply to UK universities from Africa is straightforward and done online.

But here’s what to expect:

• Direct applications vs. UCAS:

Unlike undergraduate admissions, which are done through the centralized UCAS system, most postgraduate applications are submitted directly to each university. You will typically create an account on the university’s online application portal, fill in your details, upload documents, and submit.

UCAS does have a service called UCAS Postgraduate, but it’s used by only a small number of institutions . In the vast majority of cases, you’ll apply on the university’s own website. (For example, if you’re applying to the University of Manchester and University of Leeds, you’ll fill out two separate online forms on their respective sites.)

• Application form:

Be prepared to fill in personal information (name, contact, etc.), details of your education history, and the course you’re applying for. You’ll either upload your personal statement as a file or paste it into a text box. The same goes for your CV. For references, you usually provide referee contact emails so the university can solicit the letters directly.

• Application fees:

Some UK universities charge an application fee for postgraduate programs (fees can range from £25 to £60 per application), while many others are free to apply. Check the university’s admissions page to see if there’s a fee and how to pay it (credit card online). Plan for these costs for each application, or seek fee waivers if available (occasionally, schools waive fees for certain countries or during fairs).

• Number of applications:

You can apply to multiple universities and it’s wise to do so to maximize your chances. There’s no official limit (unlike the 5-choice limit on UCAS undergrad), but I believe focusing on 2-5 well-chosen courses is better than spamming 10+ applications. Make sure each application is high quality and tailored .

• Tracking your application:

After submission, you’ll get a confirmation email or login where you can track your application status via an e-portal. Universities may take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months to respond. Some have rolling admissions and will send an offer as soon as a decision is made; others might batch process after a deadline.

Be patient, but if a long time passes beyond the typical response window indicated by the university, you can politely email the admissions office to inquire.

• Interviews (if applicable):

Some people say most taught Master’s programs do not require an interview, but some courses (like an MBA or certain scholarships, or PhD admissions) might request an interview or video call. However, if you’re invited to one, do well to prepare by reviewing your application and being ready to discuss your motivation and background. It’s a good sign it means you’re a strong candidate.

Tip: Throughout the application process, check your email (and spam folder) regularly. Universities may reach out if any document is missing or if they have updates. Respond promptly to any requests to keep your application moving.

Step 5: Explore Scholarships and Funding Opportunities

Studying in the UK can be quite expensive, so it’s crucial to plan how you’ll finance your education. The good news is that there are scholarships and funding opportunities available specifically for international students. Here’s how to maximize your funding chances:

• University scholarships and bursaries:

Many UK universities offer scholarships or tuition discounts for international students. These could be merit-based or country-specific. Once you have offers (or even before, while researching), check the financial aid section of each university’s website. Look for awards like “International Excellence Scholarship” or faculties that have funds for postgraduate students. Deadlines for university scholarships are often early, so keep track (some require you to have an offer in hand by a certain date).

• UK government scholarships:

The UK government runs prestigious scholarship programs for international postgraduates. For example, Chevening Scholarships offer fully funded one-year master’s degrees in the UK (covering tuition, living expenses, and flights) . This is a highly competitive program for future leaders in various fields, and many African countries are eligible.

Another major program is the Commonwealth Scholarships, which fund postgraduate studies for students from Commonwealth countries (which includes many African nations) . These scholarships target talented individuals who have potential to make an impact in their home countries.

GREAT Scholarships is another option (in partnership with UK universities) that offers funding to students from select countries in Africa and Asia, for instance, GREAT scholarships for Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, etc., typically providing £10,000 toward tuition.

• External scholarships and sponsors:

You can also look into scholarships offered by organizations or governments in your home country. Some African governments and banks sponsor students for studies abroad. Additionally, international bodies like the Joint Japan/World Bank Graduate Scholarship or PTDF (for Nigerian oil/gas studies) or the Mastercard Foundation Scholars Program (available only for certain universities) may be options depending on your background. The UK’s Foreign, Commonwealth & Development Office (FCDO) also supports programs like Chevening and Commonwealth shared scholarships.

• Scholarship search databases:

Utilize databases to find scholarships you might qualify for. The British Council’s Study UK website lets you search for scholarships by country and subject . Also, platforms like Scholarships for Development or Opportunity Desk list scholarship opportunities for African students. Always verify any scholarship’s legitimacy and apply by the stated deadline with all required documents (often a separate application with essays or references).

• Budgeting and part-time work:

If scholarships don’t cover everything, plan your budget. As a student visa holder, you can work part-time up to 20 hours per week during term (and full-time on holidays) to help with living costs. However, don’t rely solely on part-time work to fund tuition or major expenses, you must show proof of funds for the visa.

It’s better to secure funding beforehand. That said, a part-time job or graduate assistantship can supplement your experience and income once you’re there.

• Education loans:

If necessary, explore loan options. Some local banks offer student loans for overseas study, or there are international loan providers for students. Be mindful of interest rates and repayment. A scholarship or grant is always preferable to a loan if you can get it.

Tip: Begin scholarship applications early, often around the same time you apply for admission. Many major scholarships (like Chevening) require you to apply almost a year in advance of the course start. Also, note that you usually need at least a conditional offer (or unconditional offer) from a UK university to finalize scholarship awards, so the application steps go hand-in-hand. Stay organized with a calendar for all scholarship deadlines.

Step 6: Accept an Offer and Apply for your UK Student Visa

Congratulations are in order, from here on now after applying, hopefully, you’ll start receiving offer letters. UK universities usually issue two types of offers:

• Conditional Offer: This means you have a place pending meeting certain conditions. Common conditions include achieving a specific final grade if you’re still studying, providing further documents, or meeting an English language requirement. For instance, you might need to send your official degree certificate or an IELTS result. Once you fulfil the conditions, the offer becomes unconditional.

• Unconditional Offer: This means you’ve met all requirements and secured your place. If you receive multiple offers, take time to compare them, consider factors like ranking, course content, location, cost, and funding. You’ll need to accept one offer (and usually decline others) by a deadline. Some universities ask for a tuition deposit to confirm your acceptance (this deposit will later count toward your fees). Pay attention to any deposit requirement and refund policy, as you might need to pay this before they issue your visa documents.

Getting your CAS (Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies)

Once you have an unconditional offer and you’ve firmly accepted it, your university will issue a Confirmation of Acceptance for Studies (CAS). The CAS is an electronic document (with a unique reference number) that confirms you have been accepted into a course and is required for your student visa application . The university (which is a licensed student sponsor) typically issues the CAS a few months before your course starts, often after you have met all conditions and paid any necessary deposit. You will receive the CAS number via email, along with details of your course, fees, and a summary of any payments made.

Important: Check the information in your CAS email carefully (name, course title, duration, fees) for any errors. You will need the exact CAS number when filling out your visa application, and you must apply for your visa within 6 months of receiving the CAS .

Applying for the Student Visa

International students (including all African countries) require a Student Visa to study in the UK. Here are the key steps for the visa process:

• When to apply: You can apply for the student visa up to 6 months before your course start date (if applying from outside the UK) . It’s recommended to apply as soon as you have your CAS and required documents ready, since you’ll want to leave ample time for processing and any unforeseen delays. Most visa decisions are made within about 3 weeks if you apply from your home country , but it can take longer during busy periods or if additional checks are needed.

• How to apply: Visa applications are done online on the official UK government website. Start at the official UK Government Student Visa page and follow the instructions. You will create an account, fill in personal and travel details, enter your CAS number, and pay the visa fee (and a healthcare surcharge for the NHS).

• Documents needed for visa: Key documents include:

• CAS (from your university)

• Proof of finances: You must show you have enough money to cover your first year’s tuition (minus any paid deposit or scholarship shown on your CAS) and living expenses for up to 9 months. The UK Government sets a maintenance amount you need per month (e.g. around £1,334 per month in London or £1,023 per month outside London, as of recent guidelines) multiply that by 9 months to get the total required funds . This money needs to have been in your bank account (or your parent’s account) for at least 28 days in a row, evidenced by bank statements or an official bank letter. Alternatively, an official scholarship letter or sponsor letter can satisfy this requirement if it covers the amounts.

• Proof of English proficiency: If your CAS indicates you met the university’s English requirement or if you are from an English-speaking country, you typically won’t need to separately prove it for the visa. Otherwise, you may need to provide your IELTS for UKVI test results or other approved language test certificate .

• Passport (valid) and passport photos: You’ll submit your passport for the visa vignette (sticker) to be placed, so make sure it’s not expiring. You also may need recent passport-sized photographs depending on application center requirements (many now take your photo digitally).

• Tuberculosis (TB) test certificate: Applicants from many African countries are required to undergo a TB test at a UK-approved clinic and get a certificate if studying in the UK for more than 6 months. Check the UK government site if your country is on the list where a TB test is needed and obtain the certificate before your visa appointment . (For example, Nigeria, Kenya, Ghana, and many others do require a TB clearance certificate.)

• Academic Technology Approval Scheme (ATAS) certificate (if applicable): If you are going for a postgraduate course in certain sensitive science or engineering fields (like some nuclear physics, biosciences, etc.), and you are a national of a country that requires ATAS, you must apply for an ATAS certificate before your visa. Your university will inform you if this is needed for your course (common for certain MSc/PhD programs). ATAS can take several weeks to be granted, so apply early if required .

• Biometrics and interview: As part of the visa process, you’ll schedule an appointment at a Visa Application Centre in your country to submit your biometrics (fingerprints and photo). Occasionally, some students might be asked for a short credibility interview (via video link) where an officer asks about your study plans. Don’t be nervous – just answer honestly about why you chose your course and university. This is to ensure you are a genuine student.

• Decision and visa vignette: Once approved, you’ll get a vignette (sticker) in your passport that allows entry to the UK, and you’ll later collect a Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) card in the UK. If for any reason your visa is refused, you’ll be given a reason – if this happens, you can correct the issue and reapply or appeal, but let’s hope all goes well the first time by preparing carefully!

Tip: Double-check that the name on your CAS, academic documents, and bank statements match your passport. Discrepancies can raise flags during visa processing. Also, do not book non-refundable flights until you have your visa in hand. While processing is usually quick, delays can occur.

Step 7: Prepare for Departure and Enrollment in the UK

With your visa approved, you’re almost at the finish line! Now it’s time to make practical arrangements for moving to the UK and starting your studies. Here are the final steps:

• Arrange for accommodation: Look into housing options as soon as you have an offer (even before visa). Most universities guarantee accommodation for international postgraduates if you apply by a certain date. University halls of residence are a great way to meet other students and simplify your move. Alternatively, you can rent privately. Many African students in the UK choose to stay in university accommodations at least for the first year for convenience. Whichever you choose, sort it out before you arrive to avoid last-minute stress.

• Book your travel: Book a flight to the UK, aiming to arrive a week or two before your course or orientation begins. This gives you time to settle in. Remember, you can arrive up to one month before your course start date on the student visa (for courses longer than 6 months) . Check baggage allowances you’ll want to bring some essentials but you can buy many things (bedding, kitchenware) after arrival or via the university’s accommodation services.

• Prepare documents to carry: In your hand luggage, keep important documents: your passport with visa, university offer/CAS letter, financial evidence that you used for your visa, and TB certificate if you needed one. Immigration officers at the UK border may ask to see these. Also have your accommodation confirmation easily accessible.

• Arrival in the UK: When you land, follow the signs for International Student check-in if available, or regular immigration. The officer will check your visa and passport, and might ask a couple of questions (carry those documents just in case). After clearing immigration, collect your bags and proceed to your university (many universities run a pick-up service from major airports on certain dates, check if yours does and sign up).

• Collect your BRP and register: If your visa required you to collect a Biometric Residence Permit (BRP) on arrival (check your visa letter), make sure to pick it up within 10 days. Often you can collect it on campus or at a local post office. Your university’s international student support will guide you on this.

• Enroll at university: You’ll need to formally register/enroll with your university in person. During enrollment/orientation week, you’ll show your passport/visa, your original certificates (some universities check your degree certificate or transcripts in person), and complete any remaining paperwork.

After enrollment, you’ll get your student ID card. That means you are now officially a student in the UK.

• Attend orientation and settle in: Take advantage of any induction or open-day programs. There may be sessions for international students to brief you on banking, healthcare (register with a GP, pay any health surcharge if not already), getting a student Oyster card (if in London) or other transport discounts, etc. It’s also a great time to meet fellow students. Many African student associations or international societies might host welcome events join those to find your community abroad.

Tip: The UK may have a different academic culture. Don’t hesitate to ask questions in class, talk to professors during office hours, and seek help from student services if needed. Universities offer support in everything from study skills to mental health and career advice . Embrace the experience, it’s okay to feel culture shock at first, but you’ll find your rhythm soon.

Conclusion:

Applying to UK universities as an international student from Africa is a journey that requires effort and patience, but each step is manageable with the right information and mindset. From researching the perfect course to clicking “submit” on your application, from securing a scholarship to packing your bags you are on your way to an exciting educational adventure.

I hope this step-by-step guide I managed to break down has demystified the process and empowered you to get started. If you have any questions or want to share your own experiences/tips, please leave a comment below, let’s help each other out. If you found this guide helpful, feel free to share it with fellow students or prospects who are also hoping to study in the UK.

Your future UK campus life is closer than you think. Good luck with your applications, and who knows soon you might be boarding a flight to the UK, ready to write your own success story. 🇬🇧🎓

I wish you all the best. Cheers.

Sources & Useful Links:

• UCAS – Postgraduate UK: International Students (how to apply and benefits)

• UK Government – Student Visa Requirements and Overview

• British Council Study UK – Scholarships for International Students (Chevening, Commonwealth, etc.)

Some more useful requirements

Affordable Amber Student Accommodation

Opening a UK Bank Account with Revolut

Consider a Cost-effective Train Commute with TrainPal

Source: How to Secure Admission as an International Student in UK Universities.

Writing Romance: Courting

Prior to the 20th century, most couples engaged in courting politics to find their partners, and there were a lot of rules about how to properly court your intended partner. So I figured I’d put out a guide to proper romancing etiquette for those setting their stories in more antiquated settings. But a lot of these courtship practices don’t work as well for same-sex relationships. So, I’ll go through some of the rules for courtship that apply to any story that wants to use courting romances, then I’ll explore ways this could work for a queer couple.

Gender Dynamics in Queer Courtships

Gender is a HUGE aspect of courtship, as the expectations of men and women were starkly different. This leaves queer couples with two choices: either conform to the gender roles, or make the roles more generalized that both parties are expected to uphold. Whichever route you take, be consistent. Not just with queer couples but heterosexual ones as well. If a lesbian barmaid can chase skirts, why can’t a heterosexual seamstress chase chaps?

If you choose to lean into gender roles and active vs passive roles in courtship, I believe it is best to leave it that the one of higher social status takes on the role of the female, as it would be uncouth for a Duke to be chasing lowly Viscounts. Those looking for a higher status husband should be the one working to win the Duke’s affections. While one could argue that the one of higher status should be the active pursuer, the thought of a queen chasing skirts simply fails to capture the regal dignity of the position when we think on it. It seems more in line with the properness and decorum of the era to have the elite have the suitors come to them.

Even if you do away with the gender roles in favor of gender equality in relationships, social status and rank would still be enough to impact the active vs passive roles. A prince looking for a spouse will always be more passive, while his knights, dukes, and counts vie for his affections. Meanwhile, a lowly Baron will almost always be in pursuit of a match. This follows the Order of Precedence, a real life rule of etiquette  that states that those of lower status are the ones introduced to someone of higher status. So before a Baron can speak freely with a Prince, someone must introduce the Baron to the Prince and never the other way around. If the Baron is being introduced to a group, they will be introduced in ascending order of rank. The Baron will first be introduced to the Count, then the Duke, and then the Prince. This is why in many court scenes, someone will introduce a character to the king before they speak to one another.

But what if they’re of equal status? What happens when a prince is seeking another prince to be his husband? While they have equal titles, a prince of a tiny, less powerful kingdom is more likely be the pursuer to the prince of a bigger, wealthier kingdom. It’s also unlikely for a prince who is 1st in line to inherit his throne would marry a prince who is also the heir apparent to his own kingdom, unless they were looking to combine their countries into a new alliance. Otherwise, a first born prince is more likely to be chased by a second born prince who won’t inherit his kingdom. Likewise, in a relationship between two Dukes, the one who is higher in the line of succession to the crown would be the one to be pursued by the one lower down the line of succession. TL;DR: Whoever has the bigger house is the one getting pursued by suitors. However, do keep in mind that admittance to the royal palace is strictly by invitation only, so that does make things tricky. But visiting royalty often do have an open invitation to the royal palace. So while a Duke courting a prince would need an invitation to call on the prince for his hand in marriage, the Prince of Belgium would likely be just down the hall from the Prince of France’s quarters, giving him much easier access to court the Prince du Sang of France.

Presenting at Court

When a young gentleman or lady had come of courting and marrying age, their parents would petition to have them present at court, though people could also be recommended by other nobility. This was an effective way for some to social climb, being recommended by someone of much higher status and impeccable reputation can skyrocket their child into an advantageous position. These events would be held at the palace multiple times per year, and were invite only. The Lord Chamberlain was in charge of going over the guest list with the utmost scrutiny, and nobody would be permitted who did not have a pristine and stainless record.

Men of good social standing would present at court at formal events called Levées. They would present before the King or Prince. In the event that there were two queens or otherwise no living males of the royal family, they might present before the highest ranking male in the line of succession, or otherwise just present before the Queen. In the Victorian Era, men wore buckled shoes and swords to both a Levée and a Presentation. They had to wear either court dress or a uniform. So, if he was a soldier, he might present at court wearing his finest military dress uniform.

Presenting at court for girls were much less imaginative, only being called a Presentation. They were expected to drag long trains behind them, to bow and address the queen flawlessly, and then leave the room without fumbling over her dress or shoes. Like with the Levées for the gentlemen, these events would be held multiple times per year, and multiple girls would present on the same day, meaning that all of the girls would be compared. The better she performs, the more desirable she will be. Some men might be charmed by a little clumsiness, but it was generally seen as extremely important for a girl to make a great first impression on the court as a lady of courting and marrying age. This is also why the presentation itself is rather short. There’s a lot of girls to get through, and the queen’s a busy lady.

Someone who was already of marrying age but marries into higher status would be expected to present at court after the wedding. As a king and queen had the power to bestow titles on people at their leisure, it was not impossible for an older married woman to be made a high enough status to make her formal debut at court, and older women had different expectations when making their debut, such as styling themselves differently, and wearing different colors. Thus if, for example, a lowly washer woman saved a nobleman’s son from drowning, she might be rewarded by being recommended for a title like Lady or Baroness and being allowed to present at court. Regardless of age, the presentation mostly serves as an introduction of a new face at court to the rest of high society.

The Rules for Men

Men were encouraged not to flirt with everyone they found attractive, as being too friendly might earn them a reputation that hurts their social image. Guidelines to courtship from the Victorian Era makes it clear to young men that not every girl will be interested in his pursuit of her, and that he should take a lack of positive response to any advances as his cue to move on, lest he embarrass himself or his family.

Never allow a woman to be uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Women were permitted some leeway with acting coy, but for a man to toy with a woman’s affections was seen as improper. Once a man is aware a woman mistakes his attention for affection, he is to quickly, yet politely, lay bare his true feelings. In a similar vein, a man should never make any declaration in jest, whether expressing love or proposing marriage, any attempt to make such grand declarations as a jest does grave disservice to the woman, and will earn him great dissent and contempt from those of good breeding and high social standing. This second rule also extends to the fairer sex, and is just universally sound advice when navigating romantic entanglements.

A man must put out his cigar in the company of women, which also meant that if a woman approaches him to engage him in conversation, he must discard it, regardless of how expensive it was.

When greeting a woman in public, a man should tip his cap in a polite manner, though if she stops to talk to him, she will extend her hand to him. In this case, he must remove his hat with the hand farthest from her, and take her extended hand with the one closest to her. If they are well acquainted, he might bestow the back of her hand with a quick kiss before letting go of her hand. He would then be expected to walk with her as they converse. If he has somewhere to be or the conversation has reached a natural ending, he should politely excuse himself, and wait for her to say her farewells before he leaves her company. If he simply cannot stop to talk, he should make his urgency clear, and apologize before carrying on, still being sure to tip his hat in a show of politeness.

The Rules for Women

Accepting gifts from a suitor is dangerous. If a suitor brings you a gift and you accept it, it indicates that you are interested in their advances. Being too accepting can also cause a man to continue to shower you with gifts, which could be seen as greedy. If disinterested in the suitor, it is advised to decline his gift. However, it’s best to try and decline his gift in a courteous manner, as a calous decline will earn you a reputation for a foul temperament, which may discourage other suitors.

An unmarried woman should never be outside alone. She should always be in the company of a companion, chaperone, parent, or legal guardian. This is a means of protecting women from being set upon by unscrupulous men.

Even while courting one another, an unmarried woman should never be alone in the company of a man outside of her immediate family. This usually meant that any sort of date the pair might go on will always be supervised from afar by a parent or chaperone, such as a lady-in-waiting or a governess. The young couple would usually be left some leeway to conversate privately, so long as they were within clear eyesight of the woman’s caretakers, and close enough for them to step in should the man act dishonorably toward her.

A man will come to call upon a woman he is interested in pursuing, meaning that he will come to her house in order to pitch woo or charm her. This is to ensure she is in the safety and protection of her family, so as to prevent her from being done ill by the man where her family cannot protect her. As such, a woman would never call upon a man or go to his residence. In a queer relationship, this is simply swapped to the one of lower status coming to the house of the one of higher status. Although, due to the role of status, the suitor will require an invitation (either specific or open) to come a-courting on the object of their affections.

Women would often have a dance card which indicated who she intended to dance with at an upcoming ball. She’d save a dance for the host, and likely also her suitor. Any special guest of the ball would likely also be afforded a dance. If she has multiple suitors, she would be expected to dance with all of them, and not to spend her entire evening doting on only one of them. It was also seen as improper for her to dance too often with the same partner, regardless of whether she was looking for a spouse or not. If she was the guest of honor, it might be expected for her to share more than one dance with the host, possibly sharing the first and/or last dance with him to start or close out the night. Sometimes at dances, the guests would know the music selection and dances ahead of time, and women would have the music or dances on their dance cards. While I don’t know if it was done historically, I don’t think it would be too unorthodox for a man to write a woman ahead of a ball (assuming he’s familiar enough for such audacity) and request that she save a specific kind of dance for him. If his Waltz is shabby, but he does a marvelous Minuet, he’d want to be sure his dance with a possible match would be a dance he’s more proficient with. A lady might fill up her entire dance card ahead of time, but she’d more often than not leave a spot or two open to allow for more spontaneity. As dance cards were only used by women, I don’t know if they’d be used by gay men in courtship or not. Queer people at a ball however might wear something to indicate their preference in dance partner. A visual cue to let the gentlemen know that the Baroness of Arendale doesn’t have much interest in dancing with men.

Courting in Public

Courtship, especially among the upper class, was predominantly undergone during the Social Season, which in the UK ran from March until September, and included a wide variety of events and activities including balls, picnics, dinner parties, and sporting events. During the social season, every personage of noble blood would gather in a central location, usually the capital. These were not the only times during the year when people courted, it was more akin to a feeding frenzy for eligible bachelors, largely due to all of their marital options being assembled for the season, making it much easier to find someone to his liking.

It was wildly scandalous to show public displays of affection. That was to be reserved for private life. As such, suitors would instead exchange gifts, photographs or locks of hair instead of kissing or holding hands. For a queer relationship, it might be allowable for suitors to give one another their clothing, jewelry, weapons, or armor, either in their entirety or a particular piece of it. However the intimacy of sharing garments would likely be reserved for couples that have been courting for some time, and would be ill-advised as a first gift to one’s admirer.

At a ball or other such party, if someone catches your fancy but you’ve never met them before, it is impolite to speak to them until the host or hostess has formally introduced you to one another. Even if you dance with them, it is ill-mannered to speak to them during and after the dance if neither of you have been introduced to one another.

If someone insults your suitor, a gentleman should be ready to act the part of a knight and defend his lover’s honor. If his partner initiated the conflict, it is advised for a gentleman to apologize on their behalf, though not so meekly as to offend their lover or besmirch their honor. If another man is looking to start a quarrel, a gentleman should not return his hostilities, as a foul temper and lack of self-control is an indication of ill manners and poor breeding, bringing you down to the other man’s level.

A gentleman should always carry his lady’s luggage, and on the sidewalk, takes the side closest to the street to keep his lady’s dress from being splashed with mud or water, or to keep her safe should a wayward horse, carriage, or car veer off the street, it is more likely to strike him than her.

A couple talking in public must speak succinctly, poignantly, and softly. Long drawn-out conversations were best for private, whereas in public, it was unwise to spend one’s entire evening conversing with a single person, unless it is well-known the severity of their entanglement. It was considered ill-manner to speak excessively or too loudly as to disturb others.

Matchmaking and Gold-Digging

Due to eldest sons getting the entire inheritance of his father, women seeking to court would seek out eldest sons who would be coming into their family fortune, while sons left out of the inheritance would be more willing to marry below their station in pursuit of rich heiresses whose wealth would keep them in the lifestyle to which they have grown accustomed. Likewise in a queer relationship, wealth and power would likely effect the interests of relationships, and differences in inheritance laws might also change the power dynamics in courtships. If a daughter can inherit the full control of her father’s mercantile empire, she’s going to be fighting off second-born suitors with a stick, regardless of gender.

I mentioned above the Levées and Presentations that young nobles would go through when entering the public sphere of the court. Parents of other noble families would often be in attendance of these parties, and if a presenter impressed them, they may approach the parents and suggest a courtship between their children. This is less of an arranged marriage, and more the parents steering their children to give each other a chance. It’s much closer to playing matchmaker than paying 5 cows and a corn mill for someone’s daughter. The children could still decline the courtship out of lack of interest or an absence of chemistry, so long as they settled things politely. 

Watch Bridgerton

While Bridgerton is by no means a perfect replica of historical courtship, as its Diamond of the Fresh Water is largely a creation of the show, things such as the calling of suitors, the responsibility of first-borns compared to second-born and third-born sons, marital entrapment, and elevating one’s status is very well executed. If you want to write period romance, Bridgerton is an excellent resource to take inspiration from. It’s a great way to see these mechanics in action and hopefully watching it will spark something in your own imagination.

While that was a lot of information, I do hope it is something you found helpful. Most of the rules are much harsher on upper class characters, but most people who write historical romances are more interested in the romance between the countess and the duke, rather than the washer woman and the fisherman. I will also admit this is not a flawless breakdown, as I could have easily missed something. Still, as someone who loves period dramas and historical costume, I couldn’t leave such a tantalizing topic untouched.

You show up to your gf’s place with roses. I show up with my doublet all unbraced, no hat upon my head, my stockings foul'd (pissed myself) ungarter'd, and down-gyved to my ankle, pale as my shirt, my knees knocking each other, and with a look so piteous in purport as if I had been loosed out of hell to speak of horrors.

Agneta and the Sea King from the Scandinavian folktale

Random things about your future lover

Pick a picture from below

DM to purchase a reading! All the prices are listed on my paid reading post.

Picture 1

May be an earth sign. Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn.

They have lots of hobbies and things they like to do in their free time.

They hate it when people waste their time.

Very straightforward and cutthroat.

May be cheated on or may have severe trust issues.

They always working on something.

They are gonna come into your life really soon and unexpectedly.

They will really like the way you dress yourself.

They may even be your potential life partner or definately a long term relationship.

They have really beautiful hands and may be an artist.

Initials A,D,G,Z,U,C,B,W

They are really protective of the people they love.

Picture 2

Definitely a gentleman. Very traditional.

They love taking care of themselves.

May be a leo or have sun in their 1st or 5th house.

You may meet them around the holiday season.

They are really patient and think before they speak.

Very poetic with their words. Love language may be giving handwritten letters.

Very mysterious aura, don't talk much to people or never share anything about themselves.

You may meet them after a breakup or heartbreak.

You both work in the same career field.

May be your boss or your senior.

Very passionate and dedicated about what they do.

They love talking but not on texts.

Picture 3

They may be really popular among the opposite gender. They seem to have a lot of admires.

A perfectionist and a workaholic. Loves their job with their whole heart.

You may meet them through a trip or while travelling.

Their love language is gift giving and acts of service.

They are really practical but may get delulu sometimes.

They are emotionally mature and do not hide their feelings.

It's giving fire sign energy. May require more sleep than an average person.

Says what's on their mind. May be a bit rude sometimes.

May meet them in 2 months.

May be Aquarius, Scorpio or cancer rising .

You literally manifested them. They are a dream come true for you.

May have light colored hair.

Guys I know I have been inactive for a long time but I am just going through a lot this month. Wish me luck and expect more posts in the future.

a story in 3 parts