Dissociatedbi - This Blog Is My Therapist's Idea

abusive dad, approaching at random: WHY DIDN’T YOU GET THIS THING DONE ALREADY?!

me: what? you didn’t tell me to do it

abusive dad: DOES EVERYTHING NEED TO BE DRAWN OUT FOR YOU?? YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TOLD!! HOW OLD ARE YOU?? CAN’T YOU DO ONE SIMPLE THING??

me: so you can’t even be expected to tell me when you want me to get something done? i’m supposed to read your mind?

abusive dad: YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING?!!

me, internally: wtf even is this. was this just an excuse to scream at me. ah. thats what it was.

stress split our brains

in light of recent events, fuck

I know I'm literally just a trauma dumping blog but I'd just like all the fandom & art accounts I follow to know that they make my life better. Thanks friends. I suck up your good content the way SpongeBob needs water at Sandy's house.

Common experiences with abusive mom:

hyper fixates on your appearance, constantly makes you incredibly self-aware of how you look and what others are thinking of you

compares you to other people, to show you what you should be more like (or look more like), making you feel like you’re the only worthless person

tries to control and micromanage your appearance, threatens you with missing out this and that if you don’t look up to her standards

uses you as emotional and psychological support

tells you how you are the only one who understands and loves her, forcing you to bear the burden of living as her “support system”

constantly makes you feel guilty for everything that is happening to her, makes you feel as if you owe her to make the world a bearable place for her

shares traumatic stories from her past that you are too young to understand and react to, expects unconditional emotional support and therapy from you even when you are a child

if the dad is abusive too, accuses you of being “just like him” or tells you that you remind her of him when she lashes out on you

also if father or another person is abusing you, she stands on their side or just pretends not to see or notice it’s going on, later tells you it’s your fault

silences your opinions with “you don’t know anything”

shows exaggerated concern for you for purpose of controlling where you go and what you do, makes you feel obliged to avoid certain places or situations so “she wouldn’t worry” but it extends to stuff you would usually be able to do safely, like hanging out with friends or traveling or having a social life

forces you to center her well being and her happiness more than your own and if you do anything for your own good, you will be called out for not thinking of her first

doesn’t feel responsible for providing you with decent meals or wardrobe, doesn’t notice when you’re hungry or lacking in basic resources, but lashes out at you if anyone else notices for “embarrassing her”

or alternatively, is crazy controlling over when you’re allowed to eat, what you’re allowed to eat, and what resources you are allowed to have

pushes you into interests and activities she wants you to have, disregards and criticizes everything you do that she doesn’t like

her behavior towards you changes in public, she becomes must more concerned over how other people perceive her relationship to you, is generally nicer if other people are listening

feigns concern towards you in front of others, in private keeps telling you how you’ll never make anything out of yourself

tries very hard to keep you at home forever if possible, refuses to teach you basic life skills, denies you resources you need to learn how to make something on your own, convinces you that you are in fact, helpless and incapable of survival without her, insists that you be dependent on her

breaks into your privacy, demands sensitive information about your relationships, conversations and thoughts, everything you do not feel comfortable about telling her because you know she’ll use it against you

accuses you of being a failure as a child, for being “heartless” and not caring about her at all, reminds you of everything she’s been thru only to raise you, talks as if she sacrificed herself for you

has periods where she doesn’t seem to even notice you, then in other times is completely obsessed with you and wont let you out of her sight

acts aggressive at times but always with pretense that her violence doesn’t count because she’s not physically able to seriously injure you, disregards all psychological and mental wounds of being assaulted and hurt by your own mother

acts like you’re an extension of her and have no existence or life of your own, refuses to accept any individuality and tries to prevent you from growing up and becoming your own person

makes you feel too guilty to say no to her, uses every social convention to make you feel as if you’re using and discarding your poor mother when all you want is to create a single boundary

refuses to acknowledge any of your successes but brings up your failures as a proof that nothing will ever become of you

insists over and over again that all she does is out of concern and love

disabled people: i’m not able to work anymore

insurance: can you do a bunch of work to prove your disability to us so we can confirm you can’t work

"disability only exists because the world isnt accessible" idk how to tell you this but chronic pain still hurts

Hey guys, IRL Autumn here. As much as I'd love to be here with my usual jokes, This is something much more serious.

For those who don't know, the UK government has recently announced plans to cut Disabled benefits by 4.6K a year if a person isn't or won't find a work from home position.

To massively simplify the current system, Disabled benefits have 2 levels of pay, depending on your capacity for work. Those who are deemed fully incapable of work get full pay, and those who can work part time, or in a select few low impact workplaces get half pay.

The new system would require everyone no matter where they lay on that scale to find employment. For the thousands, if not millions of people that have been declared fully incapable of work, this means bending over backwards for an impossible task.

And the pay cut for those who "refuse" to comply (which in reality is the vast majority being completely unable to comply to impossible demands) is not an insignificant amount.

That is a payment reduction of over half of what that person currently recieves. An amount that already is barely sufficient to survive on.

Being disabled is inherently expensive, be it due to needing specialized equipment, specific transport needs or even specific needs in general day-to-day living.

This is not a scheme to help the current system which is admittedly underfunded. This is a system designed to force disabled people to sacrifice themselves for an unsustainable system, or die trying.

And believe me, there will be death.

This is a deliberate target of some of the most vulnerable people in our society.

This is not "toughing through the hard times for the good of the country"

This is a slaughter.

Had a hypersexual trauma reaction after therapy today so that's how my day's going nbd totally didn't have to cancel all plans or anything