Latest Posts by dr-houses-left-buttcheek - Page 3

do you have a crush on me? have you had a crush on me? will you have a crush on me? when will you have a crush on me?

As a swordfighter

I'd say the best are the Lonsword, any saberand the rapier

Fuck zodiac signs, what’s your favourite type of sword ?

VESELOU ZKOUŠKU SIRÉN

První šestice je hotová ale nebojte ani zdaleka nekončíme. Vaše další oblíbené lodě které chcete v této sérii vidět klidně pište do komentářů. (Nebojte petriáš je hned v další šestici)

Pokud bych udělal speciální šestici na Cimrmanovy queer postavy koho by jste tam chtěli vidět?

LET'S WHOA WITH MAMA

let's. let's woah with mama. i'll see myself out

I was playing Pokémon with my 9yo nephew and I said something abt how “oh this is a legendary Pokémon I don’t think it has a gender” and he said “well wait isn’t dragon type a gender??” Like you know what dude fuck it sure is

GGZ Himeko: *staring in disbelief*

PE Himeko: *head in hand* oh my fucking god....

Mavuika: *holding back laughter*

CE Himeko: Girl. When we said "self destructive spiral required" THIS IS NOT WHAT WE MEANT!

HSR Himeko: *covered in hickeys and hiding the crushing loneliness and the insanely toxic situationship with Kafka as much as possible* I don't see what you're talking about.

My razor once ran out of battery after shaving one leg, and I never found the motivation to shave the other after charging it, so I walked around with only one leg shaven for like a week

accidentally shaved the same leg twice and left one unshaven 😐

never ask a woman her age, a man his salary or a teenage girl what happened to her when she was thirteen.

this green thing on my shoe makes me think of teal roots gerard

I LOVE YOU!!!!

i HATE this man what do you MEAN they not ONLY got him to perform a YEAR after aventurine did but ALSO made him announce a LUCKY DRAW AND THEN REFERENCE AVENTURINE'S LUCK. WHAT DO YOU MEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN.

Checkpoint

Are you having fun? Do you want to keep scrolling or are you just on autopilot?

Have you eaten today?

Have you consumed water today?

Do you need to go to the bathroom?

Have you slept recently?

Do you have any chores in process that you've forgotten about or are putting off? (Laundry that needs taken out of the machine, a dishwasher full of dishes that need put away, etc.)

Have you taken all your meds?

If the answer is "All good," feel free to keep scrolling!

But if any of these reminded you of something you need to do, please take care of yourself. 💕

Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

Th blnc ws dstrd lng g. Thr r n vwls nmr. Nw trnslt ths

"Miluji tě<3"

@dr-houses-left-buttcheek

Subject: Regarding Your Translation Requests 🦑📜

Dear Nico,

I regret to inform you that I can no longer serve as your translator, interpreter, or spiritual linguist.

You see, last Tuesday at precisely 3:47 AM, I was visited in a dream by a sentient dictionary named Merriam-Webscream. She informed me, in fluent Morse code and interpretive dance, that continuing to translate for you would disrupt the ancient balance between vowels and consonants. Apparently, the fate of the English language now rests on me speaking only in riddles and sound effects until the next lunar eclipse.

Additionally, my pet iguana (who is actually a licensed psychic) foresaw that if I translated one more sentence for you, the moon would fall out of orbit, and all toast would be permanently burned on one side. I can't let that happen. I love toast. The crust symmetry must be preserved.

So, effective immediately, I shall be communicating only through interpretive eyebrow raises and the occasional honk. 🫨🔊

Please respect my journey.

In confused commitment to nonsense, Ash Licensed Professional in Absolutely Nothing Founder of the “No Translate, Only Chaos” movement™

someone make him some soup pls

HELP WHY DO I HAVE MY PERSONAL TRANSLATOR

Btw the quote was "You know what Saša? Go fuck yourself"

all Czechs know how to do is get drunk, complain about everything, quote Pelíšky and lie

riding tortoises not for research just as a fun pastime

BAAAAAAAAAAAA

RAAAAAAAAA

Mum I'm famous

We should fuck, order food and then nap together

So, my iPod does this fucking genius factory thing where it forgets which artwork goes with which album and it makes guesses. Because it’s pretty sure I won’t notice.

Needless to say, I noticed.

Me

this is the no good marill of disenfranchisement reblog to die someday

wish I could post cunt sometimes

ohh yeah im a real piece of shit 👍 job please

Make 2014 about you!!! Kill everyone else

Make it 205!