Totally Real Legit Metalocalypse Movie Script Leak

Totally Real Legit Metalocalypse Movie Script Leak

PICKLES: Yeah but how exactly are we supposed to do this whole "chosen heroes of ultimate destiny" crap?

NATHAN: Yeah can't we get like a Facebones video or something to figure out how to defeat Salacia?

ABIGAIL: I'm sorry, you want...Facebones?

TOKI: Yeahs our cool cartoons pals alway knows how to explains stuff to us!

ABIGAIL: Guys I'm afraid there is no Facebones video on how to defeat Salacia to my knowledge.

DETHKLOK: (indistinct mutterings of disbelief)

MURDERFACE: Ugh juscht when we needed him moscht! That fucking dildo left us juscht like Charles!

ABIGAIL: That's because Charles is Facebones!

DETHKLOK: ...

NATHAN: What?!

SEVERAL SCENES LATER AT THE CHURCH OF BLACK KLOK

CHARLES: Boys, I know it's been a long time, but we don't have any more time to waste. Salacia's forces are closing in and the Black Klok is almost at zero. The hour of the Metalocalypse is upon us now and we have to be ready for it.

...

PICKLES: Do the voice!

CHARLES: I'm sorry the what now?

NATHAN: Yeah we miss that little goofball Facebones! And also you obviously ,but you're Facebones which means we missed the both of you!

RANDOM BLACK KLOK MEMBER: Wait a minute, you were the voice of Facebones this whole time? We seriously cracked Falconback before we figured out who the voice was?

CHARLES: It's an industry secret and there are serious consequences to anyone who violates the NDA. Or rather "were" but you get what I'm say-Look, the fate of the world is at stake right now and we're wasting time with all of th-

TOKI: Buts we wants Facebone!

SKWISGAAR: Yeahs we haven'ts seens hims in ages! I donts knows how wes even survives how without hims for this longs!

CHARLES: ...

DETHKLOK: ...

CHARLES: (using the Facebones voice) ...Hey guys, it's me Facebones.

DETHKLOK: YEAAAAAHHHHH!!!

CHARLES: *sigh*