Thing Humans Have Definitely Said To Aliens:

Fic idea

Atsushi dying and getting transmigrated into one of the irl authors' books and having to go through a bunch of them(books) to try and get back to his world

y’all remind yourselves your account is your space. you’re not a performance. you’re not annoying by being yourself. if people aren’t into it they can leave. you’re not obligated to please anyone, especially at the cost of your personal expression. the worst thing you can do for your online enjoyment is to filter or censor yourself.

A Funny Take On Summoning Danny, featuring another crossover

You've seen this. Danny gets summoned by the JL or JLD and they make demands. Now here's the humorous take, guest starring...

Danny looks at the assembled people outside the summoning circle that bound him to the location

Danny: I will not speak to you without my lawyer present

Superman: Son, that's not how this works

Danny: I will not speak to you without my lawyer present

Constantine: Kid, you can't just ask for a ghost lawyer—

A pink and green portal opens up and out comes a teen wizard with pink robes and green pants

Wizard teen: My client will not be taking questions until we establish exactly why he's being detained

Flash: Who are you?

Wizard teen: Timmy Hartman, his lawyer. Now, shall we proceed or shall I rescue my client from his unlawful detainment?

Bruce trying to shove talk his in law

Bruce: *opens his mouth*

Wally: *zooms away*

———————

Bruce: *long spiel*

Bruce: ...And that's why if either of you hurt him, I'll make sure you stay dead this time.

Roy: *takes out one earbud*

Roy, to Artemis: Did you hear something?

Artemis, watching TV: *shrugs*

———————

Kory: I've come to seek your blessing to ask Barbara out.

Bruce: Sure.

Kory: That's it? Isn't there a ritual bat-talk you undergo with all of your children's lovers?

Bruce: Barbara can handle it herself.

———————

Bruce: If any of you make Tim sad for even a SECOND, I will take everything you have.

Bernard, a college student: *hands him a dollar*

Kon, a farmer: *empties a pocket of dirt*

Bart, a Bart: *spits out a pizza crust*

———————

Steph and Cass: *enter holding hands*

Bruce: It's too early for this.

Steph: It's three PM.

———————

Bruce: Thank you for the intel, Detective Montoya. Now about you and my cousin—

Renee: Hold on, I'm getting a call.

Renee: *answers the phone and walks away*

———————

Bruce: You must be Duke's girlfriend.

Izzy: Yeah, I am. Got a problem with that, nepo baby?

Bruce: ...You may proceed.

———————

Jon: Hiya, Mr. Wayne! I'm here for me and Dami's playdate.

Bruce: Did you say playDATE?

———————

Bruce: He may seem tough, but on the inside he's a little boy who's been hurt too many times.

Selina: Is this really necessary?

Bruce: Promise me you'll take care of that little boy!

Selina: Okay, okay, yeesh.

———————

Bruce: YOU BREAK HIS HEART AND YOU'LL REGRET IT, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?

Alfred: Master Bruce, I think you misinterpreted what I meant by I love scones.

The Moon and The Ocean Tide AU

Percy: Nu-hu, Mama didn’t raise no fucking bitch. *lift his sword to kill the monster of the day* We keep going.

Bianca: Nah, nah, nah! Mama raised a bitch. *pulls Nico with her back to camp, stressed and done* Let’s go

Echo: *looks nervously at them both* Mama did’t raise nobody actually, my mama absent.

Bianca: Oh my gods

Percy: *wheeze* Percy going down. *gasp for air* Percy going down!

happy birthday wally🥳🎂⚡

Left some water bottles in my car overnight last night and I thought they would be frozen when I got them out this morning, but they weren't. Then I got excited because I thought they were supercooled and would turn into ice when jostled, so I slammed one down on the kitchen counter, but nothing happened. Disappointed, I opened it to drink and that's when it froze.

So I took a little video of another one because it always makes me happy to see.

Ron Weasley head cannons while in Hogwarts

Befriended one Hufflepuff in second year and was adopted by the older ones

Was playing chess alone in the library and a Ravenclaw student joined

It was such hard loss people started studying his moves to try and get a chance at winning

They can't even be mad! He's so happy someone's playing with him goddamnit!

Has played against Slytherins as well, chess is a silent truce

He is great at fixing up things and gives good advice for budgeting

Likes shiny things

Refuses to go to madam pomfrey when he gets sick

Fred and george once dragged him to her when he nearly fell off the stairs because of a fever

He broke out instantly

A charm went wrong and he had Harry's eyes for a few days once

Snape nearly died because he thought lily came back to haunt him

Used to complimenting people (Ginny calmed down easier when you play up her positivity and Molly absolutely was a weak woman to small Ron calling her pretty)

Tells a guy his eyes remind him of a certain constellation, said guy never recovered

It was said way to honestly and out of nowhere for no reason

Aroace Ron Weasley with platonic life partners Harry and hermione

Has a nasty kick

Physical touch is one of his love languages so he often just nudges people, has headbutted people softly

Let's people draw on his skin, often his arms are full of doodles or full blown artworks

Still has anger issues but eventually learns about it and tries to learn ways to get it under control

Ginny used to want to play dress up a lot so he is very comfortable in being seen as 'girly'

Let's his friend practice make up on him

Ron with eyeliner was someone's sexual awakening

Switched uniform with a girl once because she wanted to try the boys uniform

Draco tried to make fun of him for that - Stammered a bit too hard to be taken serious

Blaise Zabini asked him out once but Ron did not in fact understand what he wanted

Will just pick people up for whatever reason

Is great at transfiguration, McGonagall found out in third year and has been trying to get him to be the transfiguration professor since then

Really good at baking

Knows so much gossip

Really used to the twins to the point he can interrupt them and finish their thought before they get to do their back and forth

Understands any rambles, he knows so many people who go on rants all the time

Has the mom-resistance to heat when cooking

One hit K.O.ed a guy who cheated on his friend

In the middle of the great hall

The guy dropped between the twins and they shared a look of "oh god that could have been us"

Learns if he's flexible enough he can kick someone in the face, considering his height as well? Dangerous

The first time he does it, another sexual awakening was had