There Is No Absolute Way He Is That Big! ⚡🦇 Absolute Batman & Flash

Lily’s Ghost That Haunts Them 4

(Fifth Year Golden Trio Era)

Seamus: Fuck, fuck, fuck! *running for his life*

Dean: Don’t look back! Don’t look back! *racing after him*

Neville: *following after in tears* I can’t believe I let you talk me into this!

Hermione: *the one tugging him to keep you* You can’t believe?! What about me? I can’t die like this! I haven’t graduated yet!

Harry: *stumbling as he runs backwards try to calm a fuming Ron* N-now Ronnie. It was j-just a joke. Just a joke! *trips over his feet* ITS A JOKE!

Ron: *looks like an off brand Poison Ivy* I’M GOING TO KILL YOU BASTARDS!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!

Flitwick: *watching them as he drink his tea* Ah to be young again.*Pause for a minute* Now where did I see this before?

(Fifth Year Marauders Era)

Sirius: Fuck! *running for his life*

Severus: Oh by jovi *races after him*

Peter: Why god, why? *in tears following*

Remus: You idiots! *is the one tugging him along*

James: L-Lily, my love! It w-was just a joke! was*stumbling as he runs backwards until he trips* IT WAS JUST A JOKE!

Lily: *an off brand Poison Ivy* BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

Flitwick: *watching them as he drinks his tea* Ah to be young again.

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

Lily’s Ghost that Hunts them 5

Ron: *complaining about a Karen at his summer job in the hospital* She came at me a; ‘No. You can’t be a nurse, you’re not wearing the uniform’.

Lavender: Oof.

Kellen: *mumbles* This is why I work with animals.

Ron: Should have join you. I mean what did that lady expect? The uniform to be a slutty nurse outfit? *cracks the table with a bang of his fist* Get over it Stacy.

Professor Slughorn: *pause, turns around and walks out of the classroom* Not to day Satan.

(Marauder’s era)

Lily: *complains about her job because of a karen*

Her dorm mates: *nods in understanding*

Lily: What did she expect? Us to be wearing slutty maid uniforms? Come on Susie. *bangs her fist, cracking the table* Get with the program.

Professor Slughorn: *jumps and spills hot tea on his pants*

Sacred 28 or The Sacred 28

Draco: *Talking shit like always, loudly in the halls of Hogwarts*

Everyone: *stops to judge him and mocking him quietly*

Draco: And you see, Granger, this is why the sacred twenty-eighth will never lower themselves to marry the likes of you. Only someone boorish and idiotic would, isn’t that right Weasley?

Harry: *gearing up to hex the blond* Malfoy-

Ron: *bored and completely done with conversation* The sacred twenty-eight? Or The Sacred Twenty-eight?

Hermione: Why can I hear the bold, italic, and underline on the second one?

Ron: Well one is the inbred pure-blooded stupidity and the other is the actual True Pillars Of Magic; Sacred Twenty-eight.

Draco: *red with embarrassment* How dare-

Ron: Shut up 18th House, the 10th House is talking. *walking away with his friends to give them an in-depth explanation*

The Slytherin House: *facepalms*

Aww this is so funny lol ♡

@dazatsuweek 2024 day 2 - Band AU

Fake BSD game card because these two need more duo cards 🙏✨

yet another chuuatsu crack-with-feelings idea

accidental fake date AU

We know from Kajii & Kyoka train ambush that Akutagawa was not the only one Mafia send on were-tiger bounty hunt. So, AU where Chuuya came back from abroad earlier and Mori gave him a go at capturing Atsushi.

And Chuuya of course would want to do it in full blazing glory of one-man front attack. Agency building is just arould the corner - when he stumbles over Atsushi coming home from work, literally walking into him.

Chuuya is taken aback with how polite, sweet and gorgeous Atsushi is - and how he senses no danger whatsoever. Now, the twistXD Chuuya thinks Dazai spilled the beans about every Mafia member' identity he knows, and after first attack Atsushi would be clued in, too. But - Agency is a beautiful mess, and no one gave Atsushi power point presentation yet. He has no idea he just crashed into Mafia Executive.

Chuuya thinks otherwise. This is Dazai protege after all, if he acts as if he doesn't know who Chuuya is that has to be on purpose, right? So he decides fine, this is a ploy of some sort. I'll play along, let's see what you've got. And he resumes the conversation as if they were just two people meeting by chance.

Chuuya tries a little flirting, simply to throw Atsushi off the game he thinks he's playing. But Atsushi just takes it as the truth. Bashful, yet so greedy for everything good in his life, and this graceful, fascinating man flirting with him? Even if its teasing, Atsushi responds. One thing to another, and Chuuya finds himself getting Atsushi on a date.

Fancy place of Chuuya's choice, of course, and he wishes Agency were-tiger would show his hand in this, finally, but he's just so earnest. For the first time in a restaurant like this, palpable awkwardness he tries to keep hidden, and Chuuya ought to revel in this, pick at this more to get him to break the charade, but damn it, he wants to put the guy at ease. Then the conversation, the way they fit - it plays better than it should, it just gets Chuuya deeper. He forgets at times this is work, and Atsushi is his mark who's pretending he doesn't know this, no matter how genuine feel his quiet smiles, his catching mix of self-deprecating remarks and sharp flashes of sass.

They stand at the pavement near the alley outside of restaurant when Mafia car is pulling up and Chuuya gets inside befoore reaching out to Atsushi. 'What are you doing?' Atsusghi asks, voice dropped almost to a whisper while he already takes the offered hand. And Chuuya has to fight trough his stolen breath, his missed heart beat while he feels Atsushi's trusting touch, how his pulse is quickened where the fingertips brush tender wrist skin right under the glove.

'Ah - Abducting you.'

The best performance of being sure and suave he ever gave. To match the portrayal of gentle naive he's been treated to.

Atsushi is pulled into the car with more force than both expected, falls over Chuuya and takes this as an invitation, gives in to a pull this man has over him already, captivating beyond anything he ever knew, Atsushi just - surges forward. The kiss is sudden, a little askew, open, lovely, giving - too good to be a lie. It gets Chuuya to melt for a second and then gets him angry. How can someone look and feel like this, this sincere, and be this shrewd at pretending?

Click if a switchblade ovening, cold under Atsushi's collarbone.

'You can drop the act now. I got you. What's the plan? Did that bandaged bastard replace the driver? Is he behind the fucking wheel - '

'W-what plan?'

The hurt, confusion - betrayal on Atsushi's face is too real. This has no point to be happening, Chuuya tries to re-evaluate everything but there was no way he really, truly didn't...

'Your Agency' plan to stop your abduction tonight?! The reason while you act all sweet as if you don't know I'm Mafia Executive.'

Now there's no confusion reflected in his chromatic eyes. Only hurt left, but then - anger, too, flurry, wounded.

'So... you played me? All this evening...'

Atsushi makes a move to break out of the car, and Chuuya darts to stop him, and now it's not even because he has to complete the mission, it's because realization sets it - he massively fucked all this up. But this is where the claws come out, because Atsushi really, really wants to get out of this car and away from this man. The car door is torn open, the brakes are hit, Mafia driver prays for his life - while Chuuya keeps pursuit through the streets, fresh scratches sting only adds up to the mix of feelings.

He was already half-taken by Atsushi's soft side, even when he thought it's played up. And now he knows it wasn't, and during the ensuing fight Chuuya just gets deeper into the trouble because now there's this thrill of unexpirienced but so strong and swift opponent. And deep under - the guilt because he wasn't honest with Atsushi, he was so sure he was the one being led on, he ignored everything that proved him wrong.

Maybe this is what does Chuuya in, really, when he lets Atsushi escape - not dealing much of damage beyond few bruises, and not really injured himself, either. He tells himself it was because they were fighting in living city area. He tells himself it was because it wasn't honest fight, anyway.

Maybe Chuuya can seizure the chance of rematch. Or better still, a chance to explain to Atsushi that awful, dumb misunderstanding.

All along I thought you knew who I was.

How would you look at me now when you do know?

im stalking your page because i found a ron weasley lily evans post and i couldnt stop laughig oh my gosh

*screeches* Thank you!!!! I'm glad you're having gas (old slang for fun- I believe) with the HP dabbles!

Fic: you taste sweet

Same