Latest Posts by eggxecutive-dysfunction - Page 7
exploring mountain colors
Two more weeks of gender!
Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.
A quiet moment.
2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam
The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other puts his ear to the door to listen. The professor begins asking the question:
“You are riding in a train cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”
The student replies “I open the window.”
“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for new air to replace the old air in the cart?”
The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.
He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do?
He says “I take my jacket off.”
“Ok. But its still too hot. What do you do?”
“I take my shirt off.”
“I understand but its very, very hot.”
“I will just get naked.”
“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard on by watching you strip naked!”
The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”
just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it
The Ghoul of IC 2118 : Inspired by the halloween season, this telescopic portrait captures a cosmic cloud with a scary visage. The interstellar scene lies within the dusty expanse of reflection nebula IC 2118 in the constellation Orion. IC 2118 is about 800 light-years from your neighborhood, close to bright bluish star Rigel at the foot of Orion. Often identified as the Witch Head nebula for its appearance in a wider field of view it now rises before the witching hour though. With spiky stars for eyes, the ghoulish apparition identified here seems to extend an arm toward Orion’s hot supergiant star. The source of illumination for IC 2118, Rigel is just beyond this frame at the upper left. via NASA
Is there a bird out there that looks remotely SciFi 🤔 there's gotta be one fella out there with some pattern on them...
So I think you probably want a very futuristic spacey bird, but I'd also like to add some fellas that could easily wander on and about on some alien world and totally fit in Let’s do a list thingy! Four sci-fi birds, whether it’s because they look alien, like a spacecraft or just generally fit the vibe!
1. The Black heron
The black heron, is a member of the Ardeidae occurring in Africa, well known for its peculiar feeding habit, which professionally is referred to as “canopy feeding”. When it does that it uses its wings like an umbrella, creating shade and in turn attracting fish and other prey items. More importantly, its metallic plumage makes it look like a funky UFO.
2. The Andean cock-of-the-rock
First of all here’s what some journalist has to say on these birds (ʰᶦⁿᵗ: ᵗʰᵉʸ’ʳᵉ ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ)
Now, there’s so much to say about cocks-of-the-rock; why they’re called that, why they sound so weird, whatever is going on with their head? Let’s only focus only the latter for this one. First of all, Andean cocks-of-the-rock are sexually dimorphic and while females still look weird, it’s much less extreme on them than it is with males. The thing on their head is a crest, much like that of a tufted titmouse or Eurasian hoopoe, just that it’s shaped like a disk. Overall they’re just fantastic aliens.
3. Any Hornbill
The “horn” on the huge beak of a hornbill, called a casque (not to be confused with the cacique) is there to add strength and/or counterweight to the bills (which is needed, or at the very least helpful when chiselling in bark or hard soil), sometimes also acting as sound chambers to augment vocalisations. Also, considering that casques are usually larger on males than they are on females, and that they can take several years to reach full size, they may be a sign of sexual maturity or status. This - in addition to the many colours a hornbill can have and the wattle makes earth look quite ✨extra-terrestrial✨ (ʸᵉˢ ᴵ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦˢ ᶜᵒⁿᵗʳᵃᵈᶦᶜᵗᵒʳʸ).
4. The Metallic starling
The metallic starling is an Australasian bird that from a far may seem like just another black bird, however given the right angle and light they show a stunning array of purple and green iridescence. Another very notable feature are their brilliant black eyes. Definitively very spacey, 10/10 birds, would take over a planet if they’d were to try.
Also you asked for patterns! I didn’t include them but perhaps, golden pheasants, sunbitterns or wilson's bird-of-paradise could be of interest to you!
Photo credits: ATLAS1GP, ryanacandee, Bernard DUPONT, Leon Molenaar, TOONMAN_blchin, Jim Boud, cuatrok77, Art G.
Sources: Audubon Society - Watch a Black Heron Fool Fish by Turning Into an Umbrella, Wikipedia The Free Encyclopaedia - Andean cock-of-the-rock, Birdwatching: Your source of becoming a better birder - Julie Craves explains the purpose of hornbills’ huge bills, San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance Animals & Plants - Metallic Starling
Hello! You take requests, right? Please ignore this if I'm mistaken. I'd love to see some good green heron faces, though. Ever since I saw this image ((c) Larry Jordan, The Birder's Report) I've been in love.
ohhh i do take requests and i love them !!
Green Heron (Butorides virescens)
© Gregg Petersen
© Richard Lachance
© John Diener
© Forest Jarvis
© Alejandra Pons
oh but don't worry...
i saved the best for last...
cause i know the angle you REALLY wanted is...
© Mikael Behrens
ardeidae buddies @unironic-memes
someone please protect me oh my god i can’t breathe
Summer’s last kiss
Hello! You take requests, right? Please ignore this if I'm mistaken. I'd love to see some good green heron faces, though. Ever since I saw this image ((c) Larry Jordan, The Birder's Report) I've been in love.
ohhh i do take requests and i love them !!
Green Heron (Butorides virescens)
© Gregg Petersen
© Richard Lachance
© John Diener
© Forest Jarvis
© Alejandra Pons
oh but don't worry...
i saved the best for last...
cause i know the angle you REALLY wanted is...
© Mikael Behrens
ardeidae buddies @unironic-memes
would anyone like a nice warm glass of grungnort?
just came up with a really good 4 word cooking horror story but idk if you guys are ready for it
So fun
Boat-tailed grackle, female … West Palm Beach, Florida … 7/17/21
European Robin (Erithacus rubecula)
© Pam Parsons
Rolinha-picui/Picui Ground-Dove
Columbina picui
but if i close my mouth, how will the food get in?
a solitary worm has been seen enjoying itself on a wet sidewalk this morning
Bird games!!
So a few weeks ago I got back into gaming™ (aka I played the goose game and am trying to force people to play the duck game with me) so I decided to make a master post of bird themed games!
Duck Game - It’s the 80s, you’re a duck, you must fight other ducks (kinda like smash brothers but with ducks)
Untitled Goose Game - You’re a terrible goose and you hate humans
Wingspan - competitive bird conservation (and you’re probably gonna end up learning something like a fool)
Pigeon simulator - if pigeons were evil
The Falconeer - You’re on a bird and you attack people (critique; you’re not the bird)
Feather - Like the one above but you don’t kill people (a shame, I know)
SkateBird - UNRELEASED, you’re a bird on a skateboard, a skatebird!
Falcon Age - You and your very strange falcon save a country or something
A short hike - you’re some dope anthro bird going on a short hike
Pathless - You and your pet eagle that you have for some reason kill people I think
There’s probably more! Add them if you know them!
Orion’s Recently Installed Solar Array Wings : Two of Orion’s four recently installed solar array wings are exposed and surrounded by the panels that will protect it during launch and ascent. (via NASA)
European Bee-eater (Merops apiaster)
© Nick Brischuk
Zilpzalp was looking super stressed and frantic (with numerous bugs paying the consequences), and the reason was those little fluffballs. 😍 Unfortunately, they were very hidden, but look at those little faces. 😣
Zilpzalpe (chiffchaffs) auf der Karlshöhe, Stuttgart-Süd.
had to pry this dude out of kippies beak. now she's at the door asking where her meal went
Ah yes, the 5 love languages:
touch starved
my parents never told me they are proud of me
i love Stuff
im so fucken tired please god just let me rest for 5 minutes
hey pay attention to me
UGC 1810: Wildly Interacting Galaxy from Hubble : What’s happening to this spiral galaxy? Although details remain uncertain, it surely has to do with an ongoing battle with its smaller galactic neighbor. The featured galaxy is labelled UGC 1810 by itself, but together with its collisional partner is known as Arp 273. The overall shape of UGC 1810 – in particular its blue outer ring – is likely a result of wild and violent gravitational interactions. This ring’s blue color is caused by massive stars that are blue hot and have formed only in the past few million years. The inner galaxy appears older, redder, and threaded with cool filamentary dust. A few bright stars appear well in the foreground, unrelated to UGC 1810, while several galaxies are visible well in the background. Arp 273 lies about 300 million light years away toward the constellation of Andromeda. Quite likely, UGC 1810 will devour its galactic sidekick over the next billion years and settle into a classic spiral form. via NASA
Eastern Towhee, Lang Elliot
a gryphon that’s half pelican, half skunk, known as the Smellican