Please Watch This You Guys, This Made Me Laugh So Hard.

whoever came up with kissing someone's hand as a sign of respect knew what they were doing. slut.

Me stepping onto the balcony to address my followers

“you’re so sensitive” i was born with a poet’s soul. bitch

sometimes a girl just has to look at the clouds and marvel at the beauty of God’s creation and then maybe she’ll feel sane again

i hate that maturity and intelligence is basically disappearing from media completely. not everything has to be funny. not everything needs to be relatable. not everything has to sound casual and conversational, or be immediately easy to understand. I want black text on a white background and experts.

i jus wanna annoy 1 man for the rest of my life

eating a delicious fruit like an animal and the juice runs down your faceand goes down your arms and all over your face and hands soooo natural. sexual too

men invented maps they had to spread on tables so they could watch each other bend over hands flat arms outstretched