The latest trend for 5G conspiracies claiming the new technology does everything from microwave your brain to spreading coronavirus is actually part of a secret government conspiracy to identify the nation's simpletons.
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Peter Jukes finds more evidence that the origin of the disastrous concept can be traced back to the Prime Minister's chief advisor Dominic Cummings and his US links.
Members of parliament who are given generous expense packages to cover the 'costs' of working away from home, are today relieved to find out they will also receive a generous expense package to cover the cost of working at home.
Following the example of the Government replacing pay rises and benefits for health workers with a regular round of applause, the practice looks likely to be rolled out across the private sector.
A man who spent the entirety of the four-year Brexit debate insisting that economic forecasts can't be trusted because they're basically just guesses, is now willing to let the nation's old and infirm die because of an economic forecast.
Matt Hancock has said it would be a nice idea for millionaire footballers to take a pay cut and give that money to struggling hospices instead, seemingly unaware there are plenty of other millionaires who don't do that currently.
After Priti Patel illustrated perfectly why the government has decided she should not be seen in public during the Coronavirus crisis, supporters are still keen to show their appreciation for the struggling Home Secretary.
Declaring himself 'unhappy' with the speed medical professionals are reaching a cure for the Covid-19 virus, President Trump used his address to the nation to announce the launch of his own, Trump-branded drugs to treat the disease today.