A big bunch of greedy bastards who only look after themselves have vowed today to do whatever it takes to stop a big bunch of greedy bastards who only want to look after themselves.
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Jesus Christ, Lord of hosts and saviour of mankind, was arrested and fined after emerging from his tomb during lockdown ‘without good reason’ this morning.
Jesus Christ the Lamb of God has just given his personal assurances that the fringe leaders who recently told their flock to break social distancing for an Easter service would be told to fucking 'do one' when they presented themselves at the Pearly Gates.
A man who spent the entirety of the four-year Brexit debate insisting that economic forecasts can't be trusted because they're basically just guesses, is now willing to let the nation's old and infirm die because of an economic forecast.