Already Lost

Na hum khud se khush hain,

Na iss duniyaa ki rivazon se;

Fir v ussi ko leke age kyun badh rahe hain hum?

malum hai ki kuchh galat ho raha hai;

Jo samaj Humne banaya tha,

Usse humara hi dum ghut raha hai;

Fir bhi badlab se itna darte kyun hain hum?

Alive

I felt each breath seeping into my lungs.

I felt each ray of sunshine that touched my skin.

I felt every gust of wind that blew past me.

I felt all those emotions hidden in my heart.

The sorrows, the love, the dreams and the hope.

I felt the time that ticked by and I didn't care.

I felt my heart beating to it's own rhythm.

I felt the silence telling me something.

Telling me that I'm alive.

And I believed it.

Asymptotic

A song that remained unfinished

Some words that remained unsaid

Some confessions that never made it to lips

Some emotions were left unnamed

Some secrets yours and mine

Neither shared nor hidden

We walked together, side by side

Hands entwined

Not caring about finish line

We tried to enjoy the journey

But there's something that we forgot

That we didn't have forever

That we're stringed to our fates

That pulled us opposite ways

And our love wasn't tangible enough

To bind us together in a new fate

Because our love was an asymptote

It came close enough to feel

But not enough to connect

It came close enough to touch

But not enough to osculate

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a little distance

can change your perception of life

Showing you the whole picture

Not just the pieces with terrible colour

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a little pause in your life

Is exactly what you need

When you've lost

all hopes to win the race

To reflect on your flaws

Or to gain some insights

It's amazing, isn't it?

How a higher altitude

Makes the world seem beautiful

Hiding the ugly cracks

It shows a picturesque wall

You patched yourself up

With little pieces of me

But can't you really see

It has left me empty

The daunting hollowness

Eating me from inside

Yet your eyes taunt

I must be guilty

What's so additive

About the pain and the heartache

That I couldn't step aside

Until pushed to the edge

I couldn't leave your side

The millions of seconds

It took me to realise

The best of your moments

Are the worst of my life

In the crowds

I've never found a place of my own

Yet yearn to loose myself in them.

HOPE

You are the cruelest of them all

Innocent bystander

Close your eyes

Cover your ears

Shut your mouth

What’s happening isn’t happening.

Come on, throw away your conscience;

It’s not going to win you a lottery.

It wasn’t you who commited the crime,

Then Why should you feel guilty?

Convince yourself it’s not your fault,

You are not to blame.

Just an innocent bystander, right?

You just happened to be there;

You watched the scene unfold.

Even though you could have stopped it,

you just stood there and let it go on,

shook your head and said, “what a terrible fate!”

And went on with your day,

Thinking you’re not in the wrong.

But let me tell you one thing,

By closing your eyes,

when you see something evil,

By covering your ears,

When you hear something wrong,

By shutting your mouth,

When you could have spoken up,

You are not being wise but selfish.

You’re as much guilty for not stopping it

as the hands of the person for doing it.

So don’t think you’re not in the wrong,

‘cause innocent bystander is just an oxymoron.

Sometimes

When I'm staring at the stars

At night

My dreams come alive

As if the million tiny lights

Are holding a mirror to my mind

At times

I let myself wander those streets

it's a different world alright

And In my haze of midnight

I hold my fist tight

I won't let it slip this time

not this time

But as the earth glows in light

And the darkness goes to hide

forcing me out of the world

I painted with my mind

The cage I live in

I'm tired of holding it together,

All these threads that bind me as whole.

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine,

being an imposter in my own skin,

Smiling when I feel like crying.

While my insides are screaming,

To ask for help? To be left alone?

I don't know....

But I muffle it with the silence.

Not wanting others to know.

When all I want is to let go,

Let it break apart and shatter.

Why must I be trapped in this charade?

Can i be free?

Or is it just the price of being born?

The gift of life as you call it,

Is it a penance I must endure?

What if I can't take it anymore?

Like a volcano before eruptions,

It wobbles my sanity with those tremors,

Threatening to crack the surface.

But how long can I repress it?

One day the surface will break,

Bleeding me with a colourless blood

Flaming me from the inside

Untill what's left is only ash.

I wish it'll come sooner,

freeing me from the cage I live in.