Unlikeable

You should have told me

Before me you made me smile

Before you showed me the stars

Before you lit that candle in my heart

Before you made me want you

You should have told me

That love comes with a price tag!

What's left in this world?

The dreams crushed

By love or lack of it

The waves of ruins

crashing nearby

While the light of hope

Setting on the horizon

The silence sings along

With our pain

Untill the mind craves oblivion

To run towards insanity

To seek shelter from reality

The cage I live in

I'm tired of holding it together,

All these threads that bind me as whole.

I'm tired of pretending I'm fine,

being an imposter in my own skin,

Smiling when I feel like crying.

While my insides are screaming,

To ask for help? To be left alone?

I don't know....

But I muffle it with the silence.

Not wanting others to know.

When all I want is to let go,

Let it break apart and shatter.

Why must I be trapped in this charade?

Can i be free?

Or is it just the price of being born?

The gift of life as you call it,

Is it a penance I must endure?

What if I can't take it anymore?

Like a volcano before eruptions,

It wobbles my sanity with those tremors,

Threatening to crack the surface.

But how long can I repress it?

One day the surface will break,

Bleeding me with a colourless blood

Flaming me from the inside

Untill what's left is only ash.

I wish it'll come sooner,

freeing me from the cage I live in.

To you,

I was your shadow

Always following you

In stormy nights

In grainy lights

Even in your darkest hours

When you were too immersed

In your own darkness to see me.

I was your air

Essence of your life

But unnoticed

Until the day I left

And you realised

What suffocation is.

I was your sun

You frowned

Whenever you looked at me

Hid yourself

In my presence

But you didn't realise

Without me

No dawn is coming.

If love is supposed to heal, how come yours made me numb?

I thought we have left that in the past

But clearly I was wrong;

I thought you were done breaking my heart

But clearly I was wrong;

I thought you are starting to understand

But again, I was wrong.

It's so ironic that we ourselves created a world we want to escape every waking moment.

What can I do for you..

What can I do for you?

Shall I put on my happy mask,

Wear a charming persona

Draw a curved line with my lips?

I can entertain you

Celebrate your day

Won't let a frown

Appear on your face.

I'll ignore the dread filling my heart

Like a shadow in the dark

I'll change the colour of my soul

So it could reflect the light of your own

I can pretend the world is pink

And I'm a person, who's living her dream

[What’s the rush?]

Months spent, years lost

several ages of humankind,

Turned to dust.

Searching the meaning

In meaninglessness

Seeking the purpose

In pointless existence.

In the grand universe

Though a tiny particle

Striving to leave a mark

On the earth's chronicle

That's Its own way

of attaining immortality

Conquering the fear of death

And Converging to eternity

But shortsighted as you are,

Didn't stop to think

That writing on the sand

Could be erased in a blink

Could be that your life,

Is one beautiful accident

You shine for a moment,

You exist, and that is the point.

All blood is red 6/13/2020

Racial threats equals civil unrest

In this mathematical problem that continues to test

A community segregated from a nation

Separated by hatred

Created by a division of color

Falsely identified

Personified by the actions

That are fueled by misguided intentions

Purposely made

Questions are asked but answers evade

The formulation of a resolution

A problem that had arised before my generation

That Continues with its evolution

It continues to hurt

It continues to kill

It continues to spill

Blood absorbed by the soil

upon which this country was built

Now am I wrong

To hum the words to a age old song

"We shall overcome"

I can't breathe

Those words are stuck on repeat

But I'll give all of me

A sacrifice

To make sure that we are free

To believe in such a thing called equality

My skin color shouldn't be a burden

Or make me a target

The choice to life should be my own to make regardless

Now beg my pardon

And excuse me as I continue to live and to fight

Not only for me but for the future minorities and their civil rights

Education is key

So lets take the right steps to lead

In order to proceed

Violence is not the answer

It's a distractor

A motivator

Which widens a gap

A political trap

Said in a way to pacify

That a lot of people fail to see

Let's both take a look in the mirror to view the differences

Then the similarities

Once cut, you'll see

That we both will bleed the same

If we both died today, our mothers will feel the same pain

So with this continued fight what are we continuing to gain?

A question that I will leave unanswered

Just like all the others that no one continues to claim

The outside may differ but inside the vein it's all the same.

all blood is red

i cannot tell you from experience the hardships of my fellowman,

but i can tell you what my eyes have seen.

they’ve seen them being condemned and deemed guilty from the moment they are born,

judged by something that upholds no merit amongst the majority of us.

i’ve seen them being judged by their culture;

their background;

i’ve seen them being diminished, humiliated and killed.

an entire continent built on the blood of innocents

with no reparation, no reformation.

i’ve seen my fellowman cry, scream, fight,

shed their own blood for a cause,

their cause!

fighting for the very thing i was privileged to have just by being born a different shade.

so when they come to me to speak, i listen.

so when they come to me for help, i stand in front of them.

if my skin can shield them from the blindness of hatred

then so be it!

i will use it to their advantage.

i will fight for their cause,

for i can no longer bear to see innocent blood wash this streets;

i can no longer hear the cry of a mother drowning in sorrow.

i refuse to side with the ignorant,

the bigoted,

the blind.

i will make their cause my cause;

their pain my pain,

because i believe us to be the same,

with red blood in our veins

and the will to fight to see this world be a better place.

A collaboration with a fellow poet @bea-is-back

Something that we felt needed to be said and done. Feel free to check her work if you looking to feel inspired.

~ Quiet-Storm ~