Not Being Able To Draw My Favorite Character The Way I Envision Them In My Mind

if youre my mutual you have to stay alive and stay safe and take care of yourself. no exceptions idc

"Not platonic not romantic but a secret 3rd thing" its called a QUEERPLATONIC PARTNERSHIP and u better put RESPECT on its name!!!!

just in case you need a reminder...

yes you will have a good future, yes you will find someone who loves you fully, yes you will achieve your dreams, yes you are worthy of love, yes you will find close friends, yes you will get your dream house, yes you will live the the life you deserve.

- I think the apple's rotten right to the core -

Its always WHEN you grow up, WHEN you get married, WHEN you have kids, WHEN you die. Why do you assume im going to do any of those things?? Lets get some ifs in the vocabulary, please

and the lord sayest unto me, "lock the fuck in"

did you know you can do anythingh with your ocs and no one can stop you.. did you know you can make aus of your ocs. you should make aus of your ocs

tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!

But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".

And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!

I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.

A lot of people don't quite seem to understand queerplatonic relationships at first glance, because at their core, they are designed to be undefinable. Their existence is inherently critical of the pre-established idea of what relationships and attraction means, which is why people seem to think they don't stand up to scrutiny.

Several people intuitively insist on trying to fit queerplatonic neatly in between "friendship" and "romance" in the relationship hierarchy. As if they're inherently something "more" than a friend but "less" than a romantic relationship. However, from my understanding, this is the exact thing the label of queerplatonic is actively trying to fight against.

I'm not saying that this isn't what some queerplatonic relationships are, in a sense, but it's certainly not all of them. Queerplatonic relationships come in all shapes and sizes, and do so by design. There is nothing you can't do in a queerplatonic relationship and nothing you can't feel. Once you start venturing into the community you will find queerplatonic relationships where people have sex, queerplatonic relationships where there is romantic attraction involved on some level, queerplatonic relationships that are prioritized less than friendships, people who have romantic relationships, but are more actively committed to their queerplatonic partner, and plenty of other variations.

Queerplatonic partners are not inherently a "leveled up" version of friendship. They are not inherently a romantic relationship but without the romance. "Queerplatonic" is a word that exists in defiance of the way mainstream society views relationships and their hierarchies altogether. The point of it is not to lie on a sliding scale between friendship and romance, but rather to acknowledge that the widespread understanding of relationships doesn't include us. We have made the active decision to carve out our own space for this reason. Where we set the expectations, feel the ways we feel, and do the things we do, without anyone telling us it's not correct or enough.

That's why they're important. That's why it is a useful label, especially to aspec people, who have often felt alienated from relationship definitions and specificity in feelings. And I think it's important to acknowledge that.

No remorse, I have no mercy