I'm Back, Please Wake Up

Just in case you were feeling happy today.

This scene pulls at my heart. Below, Smaug just told Bilbo that Thorin Oakenshield weighed the value of his life and found it worth nothing. His response to that? Laughing with a huge grin on his face and eyes turned down, almost like he's remembering all the times' Thorin proved that statement false.

Smaug is a VERY intelagent dragon. He immediately picked up on that sure little laugh, which brings me to the below. Smaug doesn't say corrupt his mind. No, he says, corrupt his heart and drive him mad. He knows that is what will shake him. Look at Bilbo's face in the first gif. His look is defiant and unbelieving, but in the second gif, he starts rapidly blinking and losing his composure. That is terror, worry, and fear. Not for himself but because he doesn't want to lose the dwarf he loves.

Pahoehoe ropes form in the Wahaula Lava Flow,Hawai'i Island by USGS

Ha was looking for some new fanfics to read and just had to reblog this absolutely amazing fanfic series! Definitely worth reading, several times.

I MADE A SERIES!!!

Man, I'm on the fence about the series name, but it's what I've got so I'm going with it! 😉

Beetlejuice and Lydia reunite, and the chaos BFFFs are back in business for the strangest and most unusual summer the Deetz or Maitlands have ever had, dead or alive. (Warning: shenanigans ensue, both fluff and angst are a frequent visitors, tragic backstory intrudes, found family is the trope of the day, there are musical numbers and fanart, and humor of multiple varieties is employed. Also, we say Shit a lot.)

So, this universe is continuously growing, and the order of fics will change as new stories are written, but I do have an idea where I'm steering this, I promise! (There will be eldritch monstrosities.)

the fellowship at a hardware store, from someone who works at a hardware store:

sam: is in the nursery!! goes straight to the discount/dying plants and piles his cart full of wilted and sad plants. likes to rescue the houseplants first, has a soft spot for perennials and citrus trees. is a nightmare to check out but is very sweet about it. dirt and leaves everywhere. like, everywhere. they have to sweep after he’s gone. surprisingly strong and hauls big bags of dirt.

frodo: enjoys home improvement!! likes to wander carpeting and organization, hunts for good deals and keeps tabs on the sales weekends. he likes to peruse the shower curtains and closet accessories. likes to refurbish old furniture he finds off the side of the road- currently fixing up an antique dresser to put in the master bedroom.

merry: doorknobs, handles, dresser nobs. he likes to pick out the interesting and antique ones and customize his home with them. he really likes the oddly shaped ones, he has one starfish and one pickle on his nightstand table. likes to joke about touching all the knobs and fiddling with the knockers.

pippin: is lost in the lighting department. he’s staring up at all the pretty lights and hypnotizing fans. likes the remote controlled lights, enjoys messing with the demos. also likes collecting paint chips. (pippins also the kind of person to get really high and shit in the display toilets.) does not buy anything, maybe some beef jerky and skittles at the check outs.

boromir: this man has like 80 projects going on and is remarkably proficient in every conceivable area featured in the store. he’s here so much people think he works here. he kinda does. he’s happy to advise you, lead you to products, and lifts heavy things for little old ladies and swooning maidens. he’s happy to grab the things on the highest shelf as well as carry those bigs bags of dirt out to your care. he is just a naturally pure and helpful soul. <3

aragorn: has lost himself in scrap wood. straight to the lumber yard, straight to the pile of damaged and recycled wood. once a month, he comes and loads up as much as it will fit in a pickup truck. no one knows what he does with it but he keeps coming back. there are several theories around the store. either he’s building a bunker, has a side hustle by reselling it, makes massive fires or he does wood work. alternatively, he’s a homeless man building his own cabin in the woods so he can live away from society. that’s one’s probably the closest.

gandalf: mixes his own paint. he doesn’t work there but somehow he keeps getting back there and making his own custom colors. was known to pull a miracle and turn gray paint back into white. no one knows how he did this. likes to camp out in the seasonal section. enjoys lounging on couches and swings for long periods of time.

gimli: is so excited to walk into the tools section. wants all the toys. likes power tools in a way that’s both funny and scary. really likes chainsaws and leaf blowers, possibly because they pose the biggest threat to legolas. often gets flagged out the door because no one person needs that many tools and he must be up to something. he always beeps out the door because inevitably someone forgot to take off one of the sensors of his many, many tools. he used to be nicer about this but lately has lost patience with always being stopped out the door, and often will make a show of waving his receipt before leaving.

legolas: spends a good amount of time in the garden. i imagine he gets enamored with the fountains and ponds rather quickly, also likes the statues and fun pots. also, wanders through the garden and samples the plants. by samples i mean eat small bites of it, and if he finds the quality satisfactory he will purchase it. this is rarely the case and he often just goes around eating small bites of houseplants.

Elrond: Okay, so, Glorfindel can't join the Fellowship because he literally glows in the dark and would alert Sauron to everyone's location. Elves with such awesome power must stay behind. Legolas, you shall go.

Legolas: :)

Legolas: ...

Legolas: Wait >:(

in which crowley tries to convince himself that all is not yet lost, because underneath it all, he is an optimist…

fellowship crimes

pippin: steals. canonically, and without a doubt in my mind, does not give a shit. all the time. mostly shoplifting, extends to any building. restaurants, houses, etc. fuck it.

merry: steals when around pippin. mostly provides diversions. pippin steals more but merry steals bigger, more expensive items. only from large corporations.

legolas: trespassing. private property?? what’s that?? you WILL find him on government property, he WILL be 30 feet up in a tree.

gimli: steals rocks from national parks. “if it’s on the ground, it’s fair game.”

gandalf: accused of kidnapping the hobbits. pippin played into it, getting him detained. also arrested on “disturbing the peace” at the shire.

boromir: vigilante justice and assault. wrestled back his wallet from a pickpocket and punched him in the face.

aragorn: weapons with out permit, bringing weapons into public places without proper licenses. (“sir, you can’t bring your sword into this walmart.”)

frodo: unpaid library dues. forgot to return a book, felt bad so he avoided the library, and the fines exponentially increased. it has been 8 years. he drives to the next town over now for his books.

sam: propagation. not crimes, but sometimes he will take a leaf or two off of a pretty plant and always feels bad about it :(

Beauty by Zhyreb