Februarybelle - See You, Space Cowboy

The loneliness is suffocating. At all hours, a ringing in my ears - that undertone. In the store, in the shower, in front of the people I love. Lonely like a fist in the mouth, like netting in my diaphragm, like a rotted tooth. Everything I put in my body just feels like cotton, all smooth and numb and unsatisfying. Who am I even looking for. What do I seek. What went to bed and never woke up inside me.

“INTERVIEWER Do you think of yourself as having a relationship with God? CARSON No. But that’s not bad. I think in the last few years, since I’ve been working on Decreation and reading a lot of mystics, especially Simone Weil, I’ve come to understand that the best one can hope for as a human is to have a relationship with that emptiness where God would be if God were available, but God isn’t. So, sad fact, but get used to it, because nothing else is going to happen. INTERVIEWER He’s not available because he chooses to remove himself or he’s not available because he doesn’t exist? CARSON Neither. He’s not available because he’s not a being of a kind that would fit into our availability. “Not knowable,”as the mystics would say. And knowing is what a worshiper wants to get from God—the sense of being in an exchange of knowledge, knowing and being known. It’s what anybody wants from any relationship of love, and the relationship with God is supposed to be one of love. But I don’t think any kind of knowing is ever going to materialize between humans and gods. INTERVIEWER Is it stymied because of the nature of the beast? CARSON Because of the difference of the two orders. If God were knowable, why would we believe in him?”

— Anne Carson, in an interview with Will Aitken for The Art of Poetry No. 88

-nowhere boy-

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

//harry, delicate & made of flowers and lace moodboard//

the most important and cutest gif you will ever see 

i can’t believe cedric diggory asked voldemort ‘who are you’ lmao. like i know he got killed straight after but still. iconic

Harry catching someone eating a sandwich Barcelona, Spain - 3/30

quotes from war of the foxes that keep me up at night

when you bang your head on the wall you have to remember you’re on both sides of it already but go ahead, yell at yourself.

it should be enough. to make something beautiful should be enough. it isn’t. it should be.

i put a thing in your hand. will you defend yourself? from me, i mean.

i wanted to explain myself to myself in an understandable way.

my inner life is a sheet of black glass. if i fell through the floor i would keep falling.

the enormity of my desire disgusts me.

when you have nothing to say, set something on fire

want something to chase you? run.

i’ve seen your true face: the back of your head. if you were walking away, keep walking.

the fear: that nothing survives. the greater fear: that something does.

he is inside his body and i am inside my body and it matters less and less.

how much can you change and get away with it, before you turn into something else, before it’s some kind of murder?

some say god is where we put our sorrow. god says, which one of you fuckers can get to me first?

there’s a dream in the space between the hammer and the nail: the dream of about-to-be-hit, which is a bad dream, but the nail will take the hit if it gets to sleep inside the wood forever.

everyone needs a place. it shouldn’t be inside of someone else.

your body told me in a dream it’s never been afraid of anything.

i live in big spaces, so i’m left alone in big spaces.

there is no new me, there is no old me, there’s just me, the same me, the whole time.

i hope it’s love. i’m trying really hard to make it love.

i clawed my way into the light but the light is just as scary. i’d rather quit. i’d rather be sad. it’s too much work. 

he was pointing at the moon but i was looking at his hand.