When I First Started Watching Tis Time For Torture, Princess I Was Like "hahaha I Get It Instead Of Inflicting

remember the greek math guy who ran around naked shouting bazinga

things there should be 18+ versions of;

- birthday clowns

- chuckee cheese-ass arcade and fun complexes (I will accept Dave n Busters adding the dragons as animatronics and walking mascots but only if they also pole dance)

-candy stores

-build a bear workshop-type establishments

-the fun parts of easter

my toxic trait is that I think those uwu trans girl memes that 19 year olds on reddit make are pretty funny

this is comedy gold to me

I dreamed that I was playing mariokart and there was a track that took 3 days to complete and when I somehow managed to get 1st place a popup came onscreen that had a pic of koopa troopa and text that read “congratulations!! you’re gonna have so much sex” and I started laughing so hard I woke up

I’ve been neglecting my tumblr, but I’m so bored I’m posting here again.

the beverage brand Fruit2O is pronounced "difruit monoxide"

I've said it before but wangxian doing cheating role-play but they can never actually pull it off

*meeting at a public bar*

Wei Ying: hey stranger ;)

Lan Zhan: ...hello. Can I buy you a drink?

Wei Ying: you better not, my husband is Hanguang-Jun, he's insanely possessive and strong~

Lan Zhan getting red ears: how strong?

Wei Ying: your line was supposed to be "he doesn't have to know!" Lan Zhan are you fishing for praise? Let's try again

Lan Zhan: ..... I am married as well

Wei Ying: he can't satisfy you, that's why you came here huh?

Lan Zhan: no he's amazing. He's very sexy

Wei Ying twirling his hair: hehe is that right? Your husband turns you on that much?

Lan Zhan standing up: yes. I want to go home and have sex with my husband right now

Wei Ying getting out of his seat: yeah me too

hazbin hotel if i wrote it

gay spider: hey hazbin made a lasagna. 's pretty good.

radio man: it could use some more oregano. [lip smack] not gonna lie.

gay spider: that wasn't an invitation to eat directly from my plate, Nathaniel.

radio man: was the garlic pre-minced? it tastes pre-minced.

gay spider: what does that even mean? how can you taste that?

radio man: the mincing. i dont taste it.

hazbin: heyyy guys i made a lasagna! hows everyone in the hotel my friends!

radio man: oh yeah i saw. im not very hungry right now though.

vagina: i ate. the whole rest of the lasagna.

hazbin: oh my satan really you liked it that much?!

radio man: pre-minced.

vagina: mm?

radio man: the garlic was pre-minced.

vagina: how can you even taste that?

gay spider: that's what i was saying!

Hazbin: haha well i guess i'll have to bake another for vagina but first, we are going to hell-target to have sex in the plus size clothing section.

bartender muppet: how genius! nobody else will be there. except Ronnie the plus sized lesbian pit fiend. a character in this show. she is a "butch lesbian" and smokes cogarettes. she has a "strap"

radio man: William may i have the rest of your lasagna

gay spider: i thought you didn't like it and said you weren't hungry?

radio man: ya. i dont care i wanna eat it.

gay spider: fine. [pushes the plate towards the anthropomorphic jackalope man]

[jump cuts to porn wolf and richard horvitz pouring skim milk into an inflatable pool with enraptured fascination]