I Hate It When Your Parents Are Like “I Know You Better Than You Know Yourself!” Like No You Don’t

have you ever realised how little you actually know. like i've lived in the same area all my life and until i've had no idea that there was a train station 30 minutes away from my house, or about the waterpark in city centre or that there's a whole area of town i've never seen before. i don't know. it's just weird to think about,

november is a no from me

i’ve been away from tumblr alot due to a mix of problems and exams, this blog has been really inactive and it sucks. gosh and bonfire night is supposed to be the best but here i am - lets hope things get better by the third of december so i don’t need to wish i were heather

my god. i dug through the jungle in my room and found reminders of all the trips and memories from the past and now i wanna scream and laugh and cry and smile all at the same fucking time and its overwhelming

yeah, dreaming that alexander the greats evil twin sister was a dictator and that my lifes purpose is to prepare for her second awakening so i can kill her was in no way shape or form lingering in the back of my mind

recently i've been having those kind of dreams where its just better scenarios of things i regret and mistakes i made but done right- mended friendships and happier times. it's so real and so tangible that when i wake up it takes me a few minutes to realise. maybe i'll even remember text convos and then i'll check and realise it's not there. that's it's not real after all. i have a theory that dreams are just created from thoughts and repressed memories that linger in the back of your mind, which come to the forefront and get muddled together which is why they become so weird (well at least ik some of my dreams are).

december daze (depressing af)

Wed, 22 Dec 2021 - 11:28pm -11:57pm 

damn that

alliteration

decembers been kinda dismal ngl,

(take a shot every time you read a word beginning with d on this post)

feel like i’m in a daze, these past 5 days of christmas break have been lying in bed and listening to p!atd and maggie lindemann on repeat.

(productive i know)

it’s crazy to think i’ll be finishing secondary school within the next few months 

i feel like i was robbed of two years of my life and it’s so weird because it’s like how can you feel nostalgic for something that was never there? 

nostalgia in definition is 

a sentimental longing or wistful affection for a period in the past 

that’s not quite what i feel. i have a longing for a period in my past that never happened. i don’t feel wistful affection. i feel grief and loss for a time that never was. i’m almost 16 but i don’t feel that way. i feel like i lost what would have been two of the greatest years of my life and it’s like damn, 2020 and 2021 happened in a blur. where did they go.

(love that over dramaticness for me)

exams will be done and over with within the next 6 months, i’d like to make the most of that time inbetween studying to experience what i lost in that time stolen by covid.

NOTE:

i’d like to do monthly diary posts like these as something for my future self to look back on - from now on i’ll be including the date and times i started and finished writing posts at the top.

til next time  ~Amimi

we love conan

Tuesday 12 July, 11:23pm

this was supposed to be a post about me planning my sketchbook a thought dump but i'm vibing so hard with conan i can't think properly

the person reblogging this from you is rooting for you to have a happy, healthy, and successfull 2022

2 days into work experience and oml, reality slaps you hard. i never knew having a 9-5 job was this tiring.

christmas day (and a christmas carol)

Sat, 25th Dec 2021 - 3:18pm

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate!! last night (or rather early this morning) I had a cute small interaction with the first blog I ever followed here on tumblr years ago and was so starstruck I didn't sleep for an hour lol. this is kinda silly but i'd like to think it was the worlds little christmas present to me, cheering me up in these crappy times. since i don't celebrate i'm probably just gonna binge movies as there are lots streaming on tv today and i'd like to get started on some movie reviews that'll be gradually posted in the upcoming weeks so look forward to that! in honour of today, i also plan on finally reading A Christmas Carol in its entirety and also for the sake of revising for literature and being somewhat productive today. as of tomorrow, I plan on revising for my upcoming sociology and french exams in late jan/early feb as well as catching up on literature. although languages and shakespeare don't exactly come easy to me so we'll need motivation for that! - i'll be sure to post about it and keep you updated! while writing this post i also came across the new beta editor and so far its pretty cool! i hope you liked this amalgamation of a studyblr/diarypost?! see you soon! until next time!  ~ Amimi

of course i find out the black phone is finally on the istreaming website i normally use when i need to sleep so i can get up for ncs, i'm gonna oijfiojgoithjhion. this is my motivation to get through five days