No. You Need To Do Your Calc Work For Class.

Stephanie: 2020 culture is sitting amongst piles of quarantine junk food in your room on a muted Zoom meeting you're only logged into for the attendance, jamming to the Reading Rainbow theme song in your pajamas while you watch your life fall apart

Original post from @iindigodingo

dick grayson: but I mean, an arranged marriage? that’s just too out there for me to be okay with.

tim drake: oh, I don’t know, dick, an arranged marriage might be fun. you know stephanie and I have something like that. sometimes I’ll dress up as an opossum and scream at stephie until she gets up to smack my ass with a broom and then she chases me around our bedroom, and we-

jason todd: tim! tim! ‘arranged marriage’, alright, not 'deranged marriage’!

One day, Cass is poking around online and she gets a targeted ad for this costume:

So she buys it, because of course she does. Once she receives it in the mail, she puts it on, sneaks into Bruce’s bedroom and wedges herself in the top corner of his ceiling above his bed. Then she waits.

anyway, this is the story of how Bruce fainted and smacked his head on a nightstand—

Bart: I dumped a bunch of butter and cinnamon and sugar onto bread then toasted it and ate giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Bart: Tim almost set off the smoke alarm tho when his fell into the bottom of the toaster and we couldn't get it out lmao!

Due to my lack of post today, have some soft Batfam Headcanons

Some of these are mine, others I found

- All the kids have (and will) hide under Bruce’s cape. (Bonus if its everyone at the same time and Bruce is trying hard not to trip over an unseen arm or leg)

- Bruce is like a statue when standing. All the young Robins have taken to climbing him for various reasons (boredom, to get his attention, fear of a spider, ect)

- Jason is a culinary artist. Dick will burn cereal (god help him)

- Damian is four foot nothing and his two older brothers abuse the fact that they can pick him up or toss him onto a couch way too easily

- No one (NO ONE) can sneak up on Alfred. Its impossible. All the Bats have tried, and all have failed.

- Even though only the youngest kids live at the manor, every member of the Batfam has their own room with various belongings in case they need to crash. (Jason took the locks off the windows of his room so he sleeps at the manor way more than anyone realizes. Alfred knows, but says nothing)

- The Bats all have each other’s backs at ALL times. You can’t blindside one Bat because another one is already punching you.

- They take bullets for each other and then argue about it.

- You do not try and wake a Batkid. Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t care how peaceful they look. If you put a hand on them, you will be punched. (Bruce has suffered many bruises because of this). Daddybats is the only one who doesn’t because he can’t risk hitting one of his kids who comes into his room after a nightmare.

- Diana Prince is named Godmother to all the Batchildren in Bruce’s will. Alfred (of course) and Clark are both named Godfather.

- Stephanie runs an anonymous Snapchat for the vigilantes of Gotham. It involves lots of candid videos of Nightwing dancing and other Batkids falling asleep. The Snapchat is followed by almost every citizen of Gotham.

- Jason has been caught several times in public with his siblings by the paparazzi. So they decided he was a “bodyguard” for the Waynes. Of course, his appearance set off several conspiracy theories about Jason Todd’s untimely death, but he looks so much older now no one can be sure.

- Half of Damian’s closet is Dick’s clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, even most of Dick’s old clothes from when he was Damian’s age. One time, Damian took one of Jason’s sweatshirts by mistake. Everyone was too surprised to say anything and Damian was too stubborn to admit his fault. So Jason let him keep it.

- The other Bat guilty of stealing clothes is Cass. She regularly wears her brothers’ clothes, resulting in outfits with Dick’s shirt, Jason’s jacket, Tim’s sneakers and Damian’s scarf. (They think she does it to establish dominance, but she genuinely likes the way all the clothes combine to smell like home)

- Damian snacks constantly, even more than Dick. He’s a growing boy who burns off almost every calorie every night, so he’s eating a hole through Alfred’s pantry. Junk food used to make him sick, but he’s since gotten used to chips and cheese puffs and HOARDS them.

- Jason and Dick are HUGE. Both of them. Dick is 6'0" and though he is more on the slender side, he’s still hella built. Jason is taller by three inches, and much thicker (very much a tank). They unintentionally combine to make a very intimidating presence.

- All the batgirls have muscles that no one would BELIEVE. I’m talking full abs and bicep action. You can’t be skinny trying to throw someone twice your weight.

- Jason (like Bruce) is a softie when it comes to kids. His niece asks to paint his nails neon pink? Knock yourself out kiddo. On the other hand, Tim has no clue how to handle children. He was once left to babysit a kidnapped child while the police showed up and tried making conversation with the two year old about physics (it didn’t work out)

- Bruce has an open door policy for every young hero. No explanation needed. Just ask to stay the night and Alfred will have a bed ready for you in 20 mins.

- Damian and Duke binge watch Disney movies together and Dami will sing along if he’s sleepy.

- Barbara will roll her wheelchair over another sibling’s foot if they piss her off (she makes sure they’re not wearing shoes to ensure maximum damage)

(Sorry for the long post :3 feel free to add your own!)

- Cas

I’m gonna start taxing my siblings if they keep eating my stuff. You eat half then you pay half. Pay me my $2 for the bagel bites you stole from me bitch. I told you last night to not touch them at all.

things damian has learned from his siblings

Dick Grayson.

How to play Mario 64 on Dick’s old N64. Bruce was particularly excited about this development because he would play the same game with his oldest during his Robin days.

How to lead team-bonding with the Titans. He’s still working on how to be an effective leader, but with help from Dick, he’ll get there someday.

Jason Todd.

How to pick locks. Sure, Damian already knew how to get out of simple handcuffs and open some doors. But with Jay’s help, no where is off limits to him. Jason only slightly regrets this when Damian scares the shit out of him when the kid is sitting on his couch in the middle of the night after getting past Jay’s defenses.

How to make Jason’s “special” sandwich. It’s a combination that he came up with in his pre-dead days and only Dami and him seem to enjoy whatever it really is made up of. 

Cassandra Cain.

When to act and when to be silent. He’s learned mostly from observing Cass and mimicking her behaviors.

How to braid hair. He’s always been curious about different hair styles, and the only other person in the manor with long enough hair to braid is Tim, and that was an awkward conversation he was unwilling to have. Instead, he hung around Cass every time she did Babs’s or Steph’s hair. She noticed immediately and started slowing down for him to watch and learn.

Tim Drake.

How to make paper cranes. It’s a compulsive nervous habit Tim has to grab any paper near him and try to fashion it into an origami piece. Dami would collect them when Tim fell asleep and try to reconstruct them with the folds he had made. After multiple failures, he woke Tim up and demanded he teach him. They spent an entire night making an army of paper cranes.

How to make real friends. Damian has always been jealous of how strong Tim’s friendships were, until he realized the root of that jealousy was his longing to have relationships on the same level. Damian’s friendship with Jon is built off of mannerisms he observed between Tim and Kon.

Duke Thomas.

How to enjoy reading. Before meeting Duke, Damian’s bookshelf was full of books about practical information like biology and self defense. Duke is a big reader of all sorts of genres, which piqued Damian’s interest. While his brother was out patrolling, he stole an old sci-fi book from his room and read the whole series in a matter of hours. Duke noticed later that his bookshelf had been slightly rearranged and put the pieces together. Sometimes he buys new books he thinks Damian will like and puts them where he can easily find them.

How to mend clothing. Damian has always been used to receiving new clothing when his current pieces have been torn or ruined in anyway. One day, Duke sat at the kitchen counter sewing a part of the zipper back his favorite hoodie and Damian sat down next to him, determined to fix a jacket of his own.

Stephanie: Yoink is the opposite of yeet.

Jason: But it’s just as fast.

Tim: The lord yeetith and he yoinketh away.

Bruce: I think I’m having a stroke.

Let’s see how I do when I get three wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. aaaaaahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha. I’m excited and nervous.

Update. It’s done. I went into a nap and I’m still tired. I also want McDonald fried.

Let’s see how I do when I get three wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. aaaaaahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha. I’m excited and nervous.