Latest Posts by fish-fish-fish - Page 2
Totally not DC related but I found this guy yesterday. A friend took him home and they’re doing good. Not even 2 weeks old yet we have claimed ownership and responsibility over them.
Raymond the grill mouse
Hope he'll be okay!
There are Monsters in the Dark
[Bruce waking up to Jason looming over him]
Bruce, bleary eyed: Jason? Why- why are you watching me sleep?
Jason: I need your help.
Bruce, groaning: What did you do?
Jason: Excuse you, I did nothing but be my perfect angel self.
Bruce, deadpan: Ah yes, angel and Jason. Two words that are basically synonymous. Well then, my angel child, I'm sure this can wait till tomorrow after I have had at least 3 hours of sleep.
Jason: It actually can't, because there is currently a monster residing under my bed.
Bruce:
Bruce, blinking slowly: Jason, you are 22. There isn't a monster under your bed.
Jason: Oh, silly me, let me just inform the MONSTER under MY BED that there is apparently an age limit on that sort of behavior.
Bruce: You can't be serious, Jay.
Jason: Deadly. Much like the monster under my bed. And as my dad it is your job to get rid of it.
Bruce: *Getting up and angrily putting his robe on* Alfred help you, Jason, if you woke me up at 4 am to kill a spider.
Jason: Firstly, it's not a spider, Bruce. And secondly, there is no need to invoke the name of our lord and savior, Alfred Pennyworth.
Bruce: *rolling his eyes*
[Bruce getting on his knees to check under the bed]
Bruce: See, there's no- F*CK! *Bruce slamming his head against the bed-frame upon seeing Tim dressed as the Joker under the bed*
Jason, laughing hysterically: Oh my god, I should have filmed that.
Bruce, wide-eyed looking at Jason: What is wrong with you?
Jason: So, so many things. But this right here, was genius.
Bruce: Tim! Get out from under the bed, now!
Tim: *Crawling out from under the bed* Sorry, Bruce. But that was pretty funny.
Bruce: No! It wasn't! That is the most horrifying sh*t you two have ever pulled!
Tim: What about that time in-
Bruce: And yes. I am including the incident in Shanghai.
*Tim and Jason grinning and high-fiving*
Bruce: No! No high-fiving! This is not a high-fiving moment! I could have seriously injured, Tim.
Tim, snorting: When? After or before you screamed and hit your head against the bed?
Bruce: *Unimpressed bat-glare*
Bruce: I'm returning you both.
Jason: Sorry, there's a no return policy on broken orphans.
Tim: *snorting and high-fiving Jason again*
Bruce: Stop high-fiving! This is serious!
Jason: Yeah, yeah, Old Man. Save the lecture. We're on a time crunch, we still have to dress Timbers up as Ra's and hide him in the Demon Brats closet.
Bruce:
Bruce: Why are you two like this?
Jason, shrugging: Blame it on the childhood trauma.
[Tim and Jason walking out of the room]
Bruce: Alcohol. I need Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol.
It's free real estate
Duke *about Tim*: Haven't seen him move yet but I left some coffee out and I keep checking, hopefully he'll get up and leave sometime.
things damian has learned from his siblings
Dick Grayson.
How to play Mario 64 on Dick’s old N64. Bruce was particularly excited about this development because he would play the same game with his oldest during his Robin days.
How to lead team-bonding with the Titans. He’s still working on how to be an effective leader, but with help from Dick, he’ll get there someday.
Jason Todd.
How to pick locks. Sure, Damian already knew how to get out of simple handcuffs and open some doors. But with Jay’s help, no where is off limits to him. Jason only slightly regrets this when Damian scares the shit out of him when the kid is sitting on his couch in the middle of the night after getting past Jay’s defenses.
How to make Jason’s “special” sandwich. It’s a combination that he came up with in his pre-dead days and only Dami and him seem to enjoy whatever it really is made up of.
Cassandra Cain.
When to act and when to be silent. He’s learned mostly from observing Cass and mimicking her behaviors.
How to braid hair. He’s always been curious about different hair styles, and the only other person in the manor with long enough hair to braid is Tim, and that was an awkward conversation he was unwilling to have. Instead, he hung around Cass every time she did Babs’s or Steph’s hair. She noticed immediately and started slowing down for him to watch and learn.
Tim Drake.
How to make paper cranes. It’s a compulsive nervous habit Tim has to grab any paper near him and try to fashion it into an origami piece. Dami would collect them when Tim fell asleep and try to reconstruct them with the folds he had made. After multiple failures, he woke Tim up and demanded he teach him. They spent an entire night making an army of paper cranes.
How to make real friends. Damian has always been jealous of how strong Tim’s friendships were, until he realized the root of that jealousy was his longing to have relationships on the same level. Damian’s friendship with Jon is built off of mannerisms he observed between Tim and Kon.
Duke Thomas.
How to enjoy reading. Before meeting Duke, Damian’s bookshelf was full of books about practical information like biology and self defense. Duke is a big reader of all sorts of genres, which piqued Damian’s interest. While his brother was out patrolling, he stole an old sci-fi book from his room and read the whole series in a matter of hours. Duke noticed later that his bookshelf had been slightly rearranged and put the pieces together. Sometimes he buys new books he thinks Damian will like and puts them where he can easily find them.
How to mend clothing. Damian has always been used to receiving new clothing when his current pieces have been torn or ruined in anyway. One day, Duke sat at the kitchen counter sewing a part of the zipper back his favorite hoodie and Damian sat down next to him, determined to fix a jacket of his own.
Stephanie: 2020 culture is sitting amongst piles of quarantine junk food in your room on a muted Zoom meeting you're only logged into for the attendance, jamming to the Reading Rainbow theme song in your pajamas while you watch your life fall apart
Original post from @iindigodingo
Bart: I dumped a bunch of butter and cinnamon and sugar onto bread then toasted it and ate giant Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Bart: Tim almost set off the smoke alarm tho when his fell into the bottom of the toaster and we couldn't get it out lmao!
Jason: you call is “really bad at darts.” I call it “freestyle acupuncture.”
Bartender: I’m going to have to ask you to leave.
You can't prove anything
Try me bitch.
Justice League Meeting
Superman: where's Batman? The meeting was supposed to start 20 minutes ago.
Wonderwoman: could he be in danger?
Green Arrow: someone maybe should call him BEFORE we go into defcon 1
Superman: [calls the bat-line]
Oracle: [answers] this is O. How can I help?
Superman: Hi Oracle. Batman was supposed to be at the tower 20 minutes ago. Do you know where he is?
Oracle: let me check... yeah, he's at the cave, I can connect you to the security cameras?
Superman: Please.
Oracle: ok.
-The batcave shows up on screen, Bruce and some of the kids present-
Batman: [Mid sentence] -OUTRAGEOUS STUNT!!
Damian: [scowling, arms crossed] -tt-
Batman: Do NOT scoff at me, young man!
Jason: [snorts]
Batman: Are you Laughing?! This is reckless even by YOUR standards Jason!
Jason: yeah... but you said-
Batman: [menacing] What?!
Jason: [looks at Dick and mimes "young man"]
Batman: Don't look at-
Dick: [loudly and jovially] THERE'S NO NEED TO FEEL DOWN
Batman: Wh-
Steph: I said YOUNG MAN [spins to point at Tim]
Tim: [Fingerguns at Steph] Pick yourself off the ground!
Batman: [floundering] En-
Dick: I said YOUNG MAN
Jason: 'Cause you're in a new town!
Duke: [from the locker rooms] There's no need to be unhappy!
Batman: [to Duke] You're not even in trouble!
Steph and Tim: YOUNG MAN there's a place you can go!
Dick: [throws an arm around Jason's shoulders] I said YOUNG MAN! When you're short on your dough!
Jason: You can STAY THERE!
Batman: That's EN-
Dick and Jason: [turn to Damian, grinning expectantly] and I'm sure you will find-!!
Damian: [glaring and without enthusiasm] ...many ways to have a good time.
Batman: Don't-
All the batkids: [chorusing] It's fun to stay at the B-A-T CAVE
Batman: [finally loses it] WHY???!!
-
Superman: ...
Green Arrow: ...well someone has to say it.
The Flash: That he should get an award for parenting that lot?
Green Arrow: that clearly inherited behaviour has nothing to do with genetics. I grew up with Bruce Wayne; he deserves every second of this
Jason: It’s 2019 why can’t I delete people in real life?
Later
Jason: Ok. So it turns out what I was thinking of is called murder.
Stephanie: Yoink is the opposite of yeet.
Jason: But it’s just as fast.
Tim: The lord yeetith and he yoinketh away.
Bruce: I think I’m having a stroke.
I drew young justice wonder girl in class today. It’s not the best but it passes in my book. This is part of S2.5 young justice.
Jason walks into the batcave wearing Jorts one day in order to piss off bruce—except Bruce isn’t pissed, he’s terrified. he’s grabbing jason’s lapels, begging him—“for the love of Wonder Woman, if you ever loved me at all dont let your brother see you in those”
But it is too late
Dick has seen everything
“HEY IF HE’S ALLOWED TO WEAR JORTS—“
(Dick walks into the batcave ten minutes later in booty Jorts and jason discovers true fear)
I’m not gonna die just yet. I have plans.
A guide to working the night shift
Check it there is going to be a full moon. If there is not, go in as normal. You will be okay.
If there will be a full moon, it is essential to follow this guide.
Get lots of sleep the day before.
Bring a fully charged phone, snacks, and water. Do not bring any flavored drink. The spirits will turn it to water, anyway.
About an hour before work, drive to your nearest Church. Do not walk or take the bus. If you must, ignore anyone who tries to talk to you on the way. They will be spirits trying to learn more about you.
Enter the Church and put some holy water on your hand. This will not do particularly anything, but it is nice to have some reassurance.
If there is an old man in the pews, ask him for his greatest piece of advice. If he ignores you, and he will, ask him again. He will tell you to be careful at work tonight. Make sure to thank him for his time, he will appreciate your manners.
Drive to work. Be a bit early, the spirits will not expect you to be early.
If you know your co-worker(s) well, ask them for gum. If they give you mint, back away slowly and continue working as normal. They are a spirit in disguise. Any other flavor, tell them to leave early. Do not take no for an answer.
If you do not know your co-worker(s) well, do not get too attached. They will be dead before 11pm. Do not feel guilty, there is nothing you can do.
Keep an eye on the clock. Do not walk or talk loudly, it can hear you. Do not wonder about what “it” is, you wouldn’t be able to fathom it anyway.
Once the clock hits 11 pm, the lights will go off. Do not worry, they will go back on soon.
When they come back on, your co-workers will be gone. Do not cry. The spirits will not pity you. There will be 3 customers left. 2 are spirits, one is real. You should help the real customer escape, he will give you something you need. However, you cannot leave with them. It will not allow you to.
Approach the first customer. Ask him if he needs any help. Slowly tap your foot while talking with them. If they cover their ears, apologize. They are a spirit. Spirits hate foot tapping. They will not hurt you, at least for now. Repeat until you find the real customer.
Tell the real customer that Bob sent you. He will know what you mean. He will begin to exit the store with his items in hand, unpaid for. Remind him that he must pay. He will glance at you, then begin walking out again. Do not worry, he will have paid you. You will find out what he gave you soon.
Now, you will be alone with the two spirit customers. Relax for a little bit, the worst is yet to come. Drink your water, but not too much. You don’t know what the spirits could have put in there.
Once the clock hits midnight, the lights will shut off again. Except this time they will not come back on. Leave the register, go to the back of the store. You will see a bottle of water that is upside down. Take it and drink it, for that is not water. You will be able to see better now.
Items from the shelves will begin to fall over. Pick them back up. You are, after all, working the night shift. If items from the fridges begin to fall, the spirits are extra angry. You must have wronged them. I told you to follow the guide exactly. I am sorry. Death is not what you should fear. What will happen to you is much worse than death.
If the fridges stay intact, you are safe for now. Do not talk or yell. Do not bother calling the police. Call your mom. Mother knows best. She will pick up. Although, it will not be your mom. Nevertheless, listen to her. She will tell you how to contact the spirits. I cannot share that information with you.
Use her instructions and contact the spirits. Ask them to spare you. They will say no. That is expected.
Spirits do not spare people willingly. They take trades, however. It is not easy to trade with a spirit. They only accept souls. People are only born with one soul, their own.
Put your hand in your right pocket. You will feel something indescribable. Do not pull it out. It is what the real customer paid you with, a soul. Do not feel bad, he has many.
Contact the spirits using the method from before. If you do not remember how there is nothing you can do. I am sorry. Your fate is sealed.
Tell the spirits you have a trade. Take the soul out of your pocket, and hold it up above your head. You will feel your legs begin to weaken. You will fall to your knees, and eventually you will pass out. You will wake up with the soul gone and the lights back on. Continue working as normal, the spirits have spared you.
Do not speak of this event to anyone, the spirits will not take kindly to that. They will appreciate your silence. Make sure to call your mom and thank her. She will not have any idea what you are talking about, but she will appreciate the gesture.
More guides
A Guide to Keeping your Heart Soft
How to enter your subconscious
If you are a researcher or adventurer and want to share a guide, join our subreddit!
Renee: Hey Dick, my favorite older brother who I love very much and-
Dick: You’re calling me at three am. What do you want?
Renee: Actually I need you to bail me out of GCPD.
Dick: sure
Dick:
Dick: WAIT! WHAT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN GCPD! OH MY GOD WHAT HAPPENED! *incoherant screaming*
Renee: *click*
Tim: Told you he would be like that.
*turning to officer*
Renee: Can I call someone else to bail me out?
Later
Renee: You’re here!
Dick: why are you in a holding cell in GCPD?
Renee: ask the idiot in the next cell over *glares harshly at random guy*
Random guy: Don’t piss her off. She’s fucking terrifying.
Tim: You don’t know the half of it. We LIVE with her.
Batfamily car trip headcannons
Car trips are absolutely hilarious with the Wayne family.
Split into two cars; the quiet one and the rowdy one.
Quiet one consists of Alfred, Bruce, Damian, Cass, Barbara & Tim, generally.
Usually has the most people in it.
Anything to get away from possibly ending up in the other one.
Will end up getting outside fifteen mins early to guarantee this.
Rowdy car is Jason driving, Dick, Steph, Duke and once, Tim
First time Tim was very unwilling, Steph dragged him to that car so, whoop that looked like where he staying.
Biggest mistake of his life.
Bass music came on instantly, all the windows down and shouting-singing that was more like screaming.
Hadn’t even left Wayne Manor yet.
Tim made frantic throat slitting motions out the widow which Damian recorded whilst laughing.
A drink had already been spilt on him.
Cass felt sorry for Tim, who was squashed in the middle between Steph and Duke who were both singing off kilter.
Damian vlogged it all.
Tim becomes an even bigger meme as he looked like he was living a nightmare.
Duke also looked a bit scarred, it was his first car trip, he wasn’t used to all the noise...the constant noise.
Honestly? Probably his last in the rowdy car.
Bruce was going to have to buy a bigger truck to hold everyone, because no one wanted to go with Dick, Jason and Steph.
Rowdy car sung ‘I want it that way’ by backstreet boys four times in a row.
Dick looked like he was having the time of his life, Jason thought the whole thing was hilarious, Tim looked like he’d just landed on a different planet.
He never, ever wanted to go in that car ever again.
Give him Bruce’s quiet, air conditioned and leather interior car any day over Jason’s beat up car with suspicious stains on.
The next time Tim got there early, super early.
Damian had to go in the other car.
Well, that didn’t end well.
Drove past them at one point, surprisingly the car was silent, no flailing arms or vibrating beats.
Damian was smirking out the window, waving a freshly ripped AUX cord around.
Dick looked heartbroken until Jason turned the radio on.
They heard Damian’s screams even with all the windows closed.
Renee: Hey Jason come look at this!
Jason: *walks over* whatcha got there
Renee: *turns around with snake in her hands*
Jason: *stumbling backwards and running* JESUS! DICK YA SISTER’S A WITCH!!
Renee: *running after Jason with snake in her hands* AT LEAST SAY HELLO TO MR. SNEK!!!!
Ok so I have an idea for a character and this one has been in my head for a bit.
My OC is Renee Grayson, younger sister of dick grayson. 19 years old and also is a vigilantie that goes by nightingale.
Dick Grayson is a happy ball of sunshine
While Renee is the opposite. Shy, quiet, reserved. Once you get to know her and she’s comfortable around you she will act like a normal human being and be open with you.
Ummm yeah. I’ll try to get more ideas in as I go.
Due to my lack of post today, have some soft Batfam Headcanons
Some of these are mine, others I found
- All the kids have (and will) hide under Bruce’s cape. (Bonus if its everyone at the same time and Bruce is trying hard not to trip over an unseen arm or leg)
- Bruce is like a statue when standing. All the young Robins have taken to climbing him for various reasons (boredom, to get his attention, fear of a spider, ect)
- Jason is a culinary artist. Dick will burn cereal (god help him)
- Damian is four foot nothing and his two older brothers abuse the fact that they can pick him up or toss him onto a couch way too easily
- No one (NO ONE) can sneak up on Alfred. Its impossible. All the Bats have tried, and all have failed.
- Even though only the youngest kids live at the manor, every member of the Batfam has their own room with various belongings in case they need to crash. (Jason took the locks off the windows of his room so he sleeps at the manor way more than anyone realizes. Alfred knows, but says nothing)
- The Bats all have each other’s backs at ALL times. You can’t blindside one Bat because another one is already punching you.
- They take bullets for each other and then argue about it.
- You do not try and wake a Batkid. Don’t. Just don’t. I don’t care how peaceful they look. If you put a hand on them, you will be punched. (Bruce has suffered many bruises because of this). Daddybats is the only one who doesn’t because he can’t risk hitting one of his kids who comes into his room after a nightmare.
- Diana Prince is named Godmother to all the Batchildren in Bruce’s will. Alfred (of course) and Clark are both named Godfather.
- Stephanie runs an anonymous Snapchat for the vigilantes of Gotham. It involves lots of candid videos of Nightwing dancing and other Batkids falling asleep. The Snapchat is followed by almost every citizen of Gotham.
- Jason has been caught several times in public with his siblings by the paparazzi. So they decided he was a “bodyguard” for the Waynes. Of course, his appearance set off several conspiracy theories about Jason Todd’s untimely death, but he looks so much older now no one can be sure.
- Half of Damian’s closet is Dick’s clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, even most of Dick’s old clothes from when he was Damian’s age. One time, Damian took one of Jason’s sweatshirts by mistake. Everyone was too surprised to say anything and Damian was too stubborn to admit his fault. So Jason let him keep it.
- The other Bat guilty of stealing clothes is Cass. She regularly wears her brothers’ clothes, resulting in outfits with Dick’s shirt, Jason’s jacket, Tim’s sneakers and Damian’s scarf. (They think she does it to establish dominance, but she genuinely likes the way all the clothes combine to smell like home)
- Damian snacks constantly, even more than Dick. He’s a growing boy who burns off almost every calorie every night, so he’s eating a hole through Alfred’s pantry. Junk food used to make him sick, but he’s since gotten used to chips and cheese puffs and HOARDS them.
- Jason and Dick are HUGE. Both of them. Dick is 6'0" and though he is more on the slender side, he’s still hella built. Jason is taller by three inches, and much thicker (very much a tank). They unintentionally combine to make a very intimidating presence.
- All the batgirls have muscles that no one would BELIEVE. I’m talking full abs and bicep action. You can’t be skinny trying to throw someone twice your weight.
- Jason (like Bruce) is a softie when it comes to kids. His niece asks to paint his nails neon pink? Knock yourself out kiddo. On the other hand, Tim has no clue how to handle children. He was once left to babysit a kidnapped child while the police showed up and tried making conversation with the two year old about physics (it didn’t work out)
- Bruce has an open door policy for every young hero. No explanation needed. Just ask to stay the night and Alfred will have a bed ready for you in 20 mins.
- Damian and Duke binge watch Disney movies together and Dami will sing along if he’s sleepy.
- Barbara will roll her wheelchair over another sibling’s foot if they piss her off (she makes sure they’re not wearing shoes to ensure maximum damage)
(Sorry for the long post :3 feel free to add your own!)
- Cas
dick grayson: but I mean, an arranged marriage? that’s just too out there for me to be okay with.
tim drake: oh, I don’t know, dick, an arranged marriage might be fun. you know stephanie and I have something like that. sometimes I’ll dress up as an opossum and scream at stephie until she gets up to smack my ass with a broom and then she chases me around our bedroom, and we-
jason todd: tim! tim! ‘arranged marriage’, alright, not 'deranged marriage’!
Nerf Gun Fight (Batboys)
Request: Can you do headcanons for what it’d be like to have a nerf gun war with the boys in the mansion? Who breaks things unnecessarily, who uses someone as a human shield, does dick pretend to die dramatically when he gets shot?
A/N: Not really motivated to write much recently but this was fun!! I am HELLA tired now and this turned into a NERF WAR rather than a single fight but hey, ya can’t complain, right? :D
Tagged: @jason-todd-rh @boosyboo9206 @pooiooi @icequeen206 @sassyshoulderangel319 @crescent-bluemoon @nanna-the-batmum @xoleaox @sleep-depiravation @jaybirdxarsenal @youthbitch @illeatyoursoulwithmustard
[You wanna be tagged in my next piece? Just shoot me a message or ask!]
Dick Grayson
The one who sees this merely as fun
Bonding Time!!
Expect to be shot from a grown ass man that hangs upside down from a chandelier in a dramatic-ass James bond pose because he WILL
Broke the chandelier bc Dick, you’re not 8 ANYMORE
Made a backstory for his ‘character’ because that’s what this whole thing is missing – extra drama
Faked an accent during the whole thing and is so inconsistent with it that it drove the others NUTS
If his s/o (you) is playing along then he will protect you like you’re some kind of royalty and he’s your devoted knight
Shot you once in the butt when you didn’t look and ran away after that like the cowards he is bc he knew your wrath was now upon him
It became some kind of butt-target-practice between the two of you
Hides in high and impossible places BECAUSE HE CAN
Died dramatically when you finally shot him point blank range
Shrieked, fell to his knees, laying on the ground coughing and gave a dramatic speech with coughs and all the pizzazz
Honestly, the whole thing lasted so long you shot him again bc „Please get it over with, Dick“ „Only if you kiss me.“
Rinse and repeat for EVERY SINGLE TIME HE GOT SHOT
Tim stopped shooting him just so he wouldn’t have to hear him shriek in horror ever again
Jason Todd
The one who goes out to the MAX
Shoots everyone in the face bc he’s obnoxious like that
„JASON! We said no headshots!“ you yell and he shoots you in the face
Got a second gun from SOMEWHERE because he needed to keep his aesthetic ™
Threw his gun at Damian at one point (when he ran out of ammo) and gave him a bloody nose
Somehow ended up with a black eye (see above)
Listen, s/o or not, he will shoot you. Don’t cross him
If you even attempt to shoot him back he will throw his jacket over your head and take you hostage
„If you want to see her alive-„ „Jason… She’s your girlfriend… and she is on your team“ „Don’t fucking interrupt me, Dickhead!“
Ís a hypocrite bc HE can shoot you but if anyone dares to shoot you or just aims at you, they get punched
Whenever he gets shot he refuses to die properly. He just sits down and mumbles something under his breath like “this shit again”
„You have to lay down, that’s the rule.“ „DON’T TELL ME HOW TO DIE BECAUSE I KNOW!“
Once accidentally hit you in the eye and everybody stopped in their tracks and pointed their guns at him (once they made sure you were fine)
He died in a hail of nerf-bullets (or darts) while you gave him the finger
Tim Drake
The only one who has a freaking plan
Put traps around the whole mansion like he had this war planned for months
He was prepared™
Doesn’t run out of ammo bc he plans his shots and doesn’t just randomly shootaround (see Dick)
Mainly hides and keeps out of this big feud between Jason and Dick and concentrates more on surviving Damian
Recorded video evidence of Everyone breaking things for future blackmailing (bc you can never have enough material)
Also, the only one who actually teamed up with his s/o bc he’s not stupid? Like, make allies not enemies??
Gives you his nerf-gun occasionally so you can go nuts with two guns and have fun while he prepares his next trap
Only attacks his brothers to make them think it was someone else (for example: threw a shuriken at Jason, making him think it was Damian) and watches the chaos turn into mayhem from the shadows with you
Gives out the most unenthusiastic deaths of them all.
Like he just sighs and lays down face first for the duration of his ‚Death‘ bc this is stupid.
TIMMY PLEASE
Once was lying so long Dick got worried and came out of hiding to see if he was okay
Tim got up, shot him and walked away
Dick was so shocked
Jason laughed so loud at this he blew his cover and Damian found him
Damian Wayne
The one that takes the thing too seriously.
Of course, ALL of them are hella competitive but this boy won’t go down without drawing blood
Turn this fight into a freaking WAR
Kicked Tim out of his hiding spot and into open fire as a distraction to sneak up on Dick
Got shoved (or rather kicked) down the stairs by Tim after that
REVENGE
Used real ass smoke-bombs like What the fuck Damian?!
First one that introduced real weapons into the war
Somehow lodged a BOOK into the wall and nobody knows how, when and why??
The most pissed out of ALL of them when he ‚dies‘
Swears bitter REVENGE and explains to the offending party in detail how he will kill them in return and then actually pulls through with it bc an eye for an eye
It still doesn’t stop Jason from shooting Damian in the face whenever his guard is down tho
Escalated SO MUCH he had to be put in time-out
Meaning: Jason stuffed him into a cupboard and locked it
Damian dislocated Jason’s shoulder for that one
Also, there is now a shredded cupboard door that needs to be explained to Alfred and Bruce (but mainly Alfred)
Breaks the most stuff bc ITS FOR A GREATER CAUSE
Needs to chill
You have to remind him that this is a game at least twice every minute bc he is not very familiar with that concept
“Damian…. Don’t you think this is going too far?” you say when he pulled out something that looked like a grenade
“Tt, don’t be stupid. There is no such thing as going too far.”
Is the reason nerf-guns are banned in the manor
Bruce walked in on a demolished manor and nerf darts all around in the weirdest and most obvious places and when he asked what happened Damian of course tattled
Still thinks he won the war
Young Justice Season 2 characters + Troubled Birds
Young Justice Things: The team and swearing/Crude humor
Okay this is not a new thing, they’re teenagers I don’t know many teenagers who don’t swear. These kids are no exception. They swear and use the dirtiest humor possible. -Imagine the mind link -Something goes wrong and it’s just like all of them: “fuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCK” -Conner and M’gann sometimes forget their teammates can hear them and say something dirty over the mind link -M’gann: I might need a massage later babe ;) ;) ;) -Wally: WE LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS IN THIS MIND LINK -Artemis has the worst mouth/dirty mind out of any of them -Imagine the fights with Wally, they would get so out of hand so quick. -Artemis: FUCKING FUCK THIS SHIT -Wally: you kiss your mother with that mouth? -Artemis: yeah and if you talk shit again I literally will go fuck yours right in front of you, then have her make me a sandwich. -Wally: LEAVE MY MOM OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKING HARPY -Wally does the title of your sex tape jokes like from Brooklyn 99 -Artemis: Wow I finished so fast -Wally: TITLE OF YOUR SEX TAPE -Tbh I feel like Wally uses the “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” quote from heathers. -Conner kind of a child but being around the team taught him swearing and crude humor, he’s neck and neck with Artemis for foul mouths. -Conner: Wally! Artemis! I swear you two just need to fuck and get it over with. -Artemis: GROSS NO I’D RATHER DIE -Conner: Do I have to remind you that he can vibrate? -Wally: DUDE HOW ABOUT WE FUCKING NOT? -M’gann, sweet sweet M’gann swears like a sailor. The first time she swore in front of any of them two league members were present. -M’gann: Listen I don’t know who the fuck you think- -Black Canary: M’gann! -M’gann: What? -Black Canary: You shouldn’t say that! -M’gann: What? Fuck? -Batman is all “who taught her that?” All of them are like “honestly who didn’t teach her??” -Kaldur has a habit of saying whatever three swears come to his mind, especially when something goes wrong in a mission. -Kaldur: *over the mind link* FUCK SHIT COCK -Robin combines swear words because he’s fucking Robin -Robin: *after he’s been hurt on a mission*: That hurt like a motherbitch and I hope that guy suffers in prison! -He’s also the king of that’s what she said jokes and the team is done with him -Artemis: this is too big it’s not gonna fit -Robin: That’s what she said -Artemis: NOT TO YOU BIRD BOY SHUT THE FUCK UP -Zatanna swears so casually that she always slips up in front of league members. -Zatanna: *Walking in to a room* WHAT’S UP FUCKERS? -Batman: …Zatanna language -Zatanna: I didn’t know you were here shit I mean damn! I MEAN- -Black Canary gets a swear jar for the cave -Their reactions were to put twenties in the jar then start blasting swear words -The jar was taken away a week later
no but like in this scene is Bart is literally three feet away from the person destined to betray the human race, the person he's spent his entire life fearing and hating. He has to keep up the pretense of simply being a cheerful, energetic tourist from the future, while in actuality he’s here to find out all he can about his buddy Blue to prevent the Reach apocalypse. That’s why he was in Jaime’s locker in the first place. Not to steal a bag of chips, but because he needed to find out anything and everything he could about him.
And here, where he’s listening to Jaime talk about his insecurities of being Blue Beetle, his expression actually betrays his emotions for a few seconds. It’s in this moment that he realizes Blue Beetle isn’t as bad as he thought, that there’s something in him possibly worth saving.
Tim: hey guys I’m gonna add pictures to the groupchat of all of us as birds.
Jason: don’t
Steph: pls don’t
Dick: c'mon, that actually sounds kinda cute
Tim: thank you Dick! I’ll do yours first!
What Dick Grayson thinks he looks like kissing someone
Vs. What he ACTUALLY looks like
Dick: i take it back