Theres This Ache In My Chest That Only Shifting Can Heal

Update: my dad ended up getting Chinese food for everyone 😭

I think I almost shifted

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒 𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

I woke up around 9 this morning and was kinda irritated that the night prior my cat was being annoying when I went to lay down and meditate but I just shrugged it off, it’s Christmas anyways.

I then saw a post on Reddit regarding a way to have your body asleep and mind awake. I thought it was kind of interesting and made a mental note to try it out and laid down and contemplated just shifting right then and there. Most times when I “try” to shift it’s not in the morning due to everyone being up and what not. But I was, still am, kind of just over my shifting journey at this point.

Instead of referencing the info I saw on Reddit I just began to think of my plans my first day in my DR. Eventually my dad turned the heat on because it was so cold and I just decided to let myself rest more bc I didn’t sleep well.

I continued to think of my first day as I drifted off to sleep and how annoyed I was with my journey.

Eventually I slipped into a dream, a very strange one at that, an experience I’ve never had before really.

It began with me trying cake for my wedding (?) and for a bit it was somewhat normal. I’m not sure when exactly my dream changed but I remember being in the car with my sister and dad, he was driving us home. At this point I was constantly teetering on being awake and in a dream, and it’s clear to me now that in this dream I thought I was awake and living out today.

My dad mentioned how he picked up Chinese food for my mom, and I thought that was weird because he was supposed to make wings tonight. I remember joking with my sister that it sucks he did that because we were planning to get Chinese food later.

This dream was so vivid… I remember looking out of the car on the way home and it was so beautiful, the way the light was going through the trees the architecture. I thought to myself “I don’t remember this place ever looking like this.. so odd” there were so many indicators in this dream that I feel like I should’ve gotten lucid but I never did…?

Anyways we got home and the only parts I remember is I was standing on the couch for some reason (it was also in a different spot) and there was a wolf there??? I called out for my dad and when he came into the living room the wolf was gone. He looked at me strangely and said something like “did you not drink enough coffee today” and I remember thinking that that was such a strange thing for him to say in general but also in that moment as I stood on the couch claiming there was a literal wolf in our living room. But still I didn’t become lucid.

Instead I laid on the couch I said to myself “I’m just gonna shift instead” and right when I closed my eyes and said I’m in my DR, my body began buzzing all over, I began to feel as though I was floating and my surroundings around me began to warp. I got excited but stayed focused, I continued saying “I am in my DR” and I imagined where I was gonna wake up, what I would be wearing… and the sensations became more extreme. I continued to persist. But unfortunately something woke me up here.

It was such an odd experience, I’ve lucid dreamt many times and tried shifting via a dream many times before too. But never anything like this where I thought I was awake and just subconsciously did an attempt?????? This feels like a good thing but… where does this leave me? What does this mean, and why didn’t I shift :(

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒 𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒

i had at least three dreams i shifted last night

shifting diary entry #12

as per usual i’m asking things like “ why do i keep dreaming about shifting ” or “ why do reality checks fail me sometimes ” feel free to analyze this for me because i have no idea…

the first that i can remember… i don’t know if i unconsciously tried to shift in a dream and then believed that i shifted or what, but i do remember waking up in a bed with purple sheets and thinking that i shifted because of them ( i don’t have purple sheets here ) and i remember thinking to myself that even though this one thing changed im sure i shifted, but i was in a completely different room yet under the impression this was my room here just with purple sheets.

and here’s the craziest part, i did reality checks and they failed… i looked at my hand and counted my fingers and all ten were normally there. this isn’t the first time it had happened either, reality checks have failed me multiple times before. now, some people might think that it’s possible that i actually shifted but i know for certain it was just a dream.

after counting my fingers i started freaking out and thinking to myself that i actually did it and pinched myself just to be sure and i “ felt ” it. but i also remember thinking to myself that things didn’t feel as real as i thought they would. i mean it’s just another reality right ? i remember thinking that maybe people were lying or something because this doesn’t feel as real as life here. i thought maybe i just needed to be grounded more but as time passed the weird hazy sensations of dreams stayed.

for some context my sister was sleeping in my bed with me and when i woke up in my dream she was there too and im pretty sure i told her that i shifted. but eventually she just kinda disappeared from the dream and i started thinking to myself that i can’t stay long bc i need to tell her that i shifted… which also has happened to me before.

the dream ended up turning into one where i was around people in my intended reality and this is where it gets really fuzzy and i’m having a hard time recalling what went down, but im not sure it’s important anyways. but i do remember that this dream was long as hell.

the next one i really can’t remember at all but i do know it happened bc i vaguely recall trying to shift in a dream and then it “ worked ”. but i think the dream was really short and i woke up really confused with what i just dreamt about and why, why do i keep dreaming about shifting ?

the last one is also confusing. i remember there was a person in the dream i was talking to about shifting and trying to figure out why i haven’t shifted yet, but she gave me awful advice lol. things that would just make things more complicated than they needed to be. i also wasn’t even telling her things that were true, things that weren’t correct about where i was shifting to and where i was gonna wake up? the dream turned really weird and had like 1578 sub plots going on but this girl seemed determined to help me, im not sure if she did though.

also, two days ago i took a nap and ended up in a lucid dream and then tried to shifting in it like a billion times…

Idk if I've talked about this before, but I saw someone post about why people who have been trying to shift for so long might not be shifting (this might not apply to everyone, but it really clicked with me). They only explained why, so I'm gonna talk about the solution I came up with.

They specifically said that it was not tough love, but psychological facts: it's possible that your mind registers shifting as a goal in THIS reality.

Think about that for a second. This is the part that really got me when I started to think about it. When you are here, in your CR, your goal is to shift, right? So what if our minds interprets that as a goal IN THIS REALITY, as simple as going to bed thinking "oh, I'm going to unload the dishwasher in the morning." Because shifting is just aligning with your DR self, and guess what?? Your goal in your DR is not to shift! That blew up my brain a little bit.

"But i want to shift" you know how everyone keeps saying "you are already in your DR"? I interpreted that for so long as motivation. It's not. It's the process. To align with your DR self, just like aligning with another person in your CR you have to have the same goals.

So your goal is no longer to shift. Stop thinking like that. Your goal IS NOT TO SHIFT. Waking up where you are meant to has never been a goal, but an expectation. Your goal is to wake up and go downstairs to have breakfast with your DR friends or family. Your goal is to wake up and get to class on time to ace that Defence Against The Dark Arts quiz you totally forgot to study for until the night before. Your goal is to wake up and win that Oscar, to break that curse, destroy the One Ring, you fucking name it babes.

I don't know if this is really dumb and obvious, but it wasn't for me before, so I really hope this post helps someone else too.

XO

i feel like i’m losing my mind jejwbwbwjqjw

can someone please give me advice on something? i’ve never really seen anyone dealing with what i have been, and i just don’t know what to do anymore.

for the billionth time i’ve tried to shift subconsciously in a dream. and this time, like other times, i wasn’t even lucid yet i was convinced i shifted. but this was just a dream. and like i’ve said before, this has happened multiple times, in different ways too.

today i was convinced i shifted, not to any dr of mine but in the dream i was ok with that. i don’t remember what was happening before really but i just started doing a method i guess till eventually it “ worked ” i didn’t have my senses, but i focused on all of them until i was “ fully grounded ”.

but i am certain it was a dream, no matter what i thought at the time, i didn’t have all my senses. it wasn’t secure like real life.

it’s honestly frustrating that this keeps happening. so maybe someone out there has some advice.

Telling someone that you shift to a movie/ show/ book but then you have to explain that you changed the entire plot and half the characters

what are some things i could script for an obx dr,,,,, i need ideas STAT !!!

crying and throwing up,,,,,,,,, how many more times am i going to dream about shifting, dream about my s/o and still wake up here ?

How to 'let go'.

To know how to 'let go' you have to understand what it is. I highly suggest you to read this post first.

Letting go is not a act of forgetting but one of perseverance. It's meaning is quite literally it's opposite. Letting go is not you leaving everything behind and focusing on your life but living regardless. It is the celebration of being alive.

No matter what I write, it won't change the fact that everything you 'want' exists. Everything is already available to you. It has happened and only waiting for you to acknowledge it. The integration of a desire in your reality does not mean that it didn't exist before in your life. It's you realising that it was always there. Staring at you right in the face when you were 'waiting for it to arrive'.

To let go you must know, you must know that searching for something outside of you when you're it is useless. I understand your want, your need, your desparation. But it's literally here? The thing you want is already your reality. Everything is happening now. Why aren't you acknowledging the truth?

Perseverance is something you do, not caring what the physical plane is showing you. The physical plane is you. It is your conscious decision on something. You keep moving forward. You keep rising and falling but you keep going. That is what letting go is.

It's your ability to keep moving forward, your ability to keep doing what you want no matter the present or the result that you seek so hard. It is you never stopping. Now I don't mean that you keep going and never rest. Remember, to move forward you must create momentum. To create momentum you keep doing what you like. What you know you want to do.

Doesn't matter what the world says. If you need or want to rest right now, you must do it. Because that's what's important. That's what you want. That doesn't stop the flow of life. It keeps life going. Your decision to do what you want to do keeps life moving.

It doesn't matter if you spiraled for a million hours or if you feel like you ruined your chances to shift/manifest. It doesn't matter if you think you can't do it or whatever the fuck people think these days. The main most important question is what do you want to do right now? What do you want right now in this moment?

The only way to move forward is to keep doing what you like. Doing what you want in the present. It is focusing on one thing at a time. Whether it is playing a game on your phone, taking a nap, eating an apple, crying your heart out or screaming at the world because you're mad. It is the continuing of the cycle of life. It is the continuous energy in motion. Your emotions felt, seen and heard. Your existence acknowledged and appreciated.

It includes every decision you take. Small or big. It includes you acknowledging yourself in every decision. It includes you looking after your wants, your needs, yourself. Stop running after your desire and run after you.

That's all you need to do to let go. It's all letting go is. It was always just moving with yourself and not leaving yourself behind. You are your greatest asset. Stop waiting for people to help you. Get up, cry and move on. Feel and love. You were yours before the world took you. Come back home to yourself and live.

— I WENT TO THE VOID STATE ON MY FIRST TRY

so many of you guys know that i favour sleep paralysis, though i never tried to use it to get to the void state.

i didn’t want to use it to shift to my dr but to see what it was like.

if you’re unsure: the void state is a deep meditative state of instant manifestation.

so today i woke up at 11:00am and stayed up for an hour

i felt tired so i laid back down and after like 10 minutes i felt symptoms of sleep paralysis

not long after that i was in sleep paralysis

now at this stage i was like “for shits and giggles let me go to the void”

i said “i am” over and over again and “i am in the void state”

and oh my god literally in 5 seconds i didn’t feel my surroundings anymore

i was literally floating!!!

i felt so at peace and it was all black

i wanted to manifest my dream face so i said i have all my dream face and felt my face change omg

i also am a football fan so i manifested that we make a couple of signings during the summer!!

and after that i left the void state!

it’s literally that easy for me and i’m so happy.

i will MOST DEFINITELY be visiting the void state more often wow

if you have any questions please feel free to ask!

hope this helps !

my tvd dr mood board

pt 4

✩₊˚.☪︎ ⁺₊✧