Stop Giving It Money

ah, the eternal dilemma.

((idk what I’m talking about 😃))

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

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I CCAN'T BREATHE

The sad part about my mom not posting on social media or really doing anything on it is that so many people are missing out on the absolute CUNT the woman serves on the daily.

Not like in the way she dresses but in like the way she ACTS. She is so sassy and it’s is so amazing. I’ll add more to this post as time goes on but right now there is one main thing in my mind that I just HAVE to put out there.

So I have a job. Which mean I make money. And my parents singed me up for a debit card. The plan was originally gonne be getting me a card with a limit of how much I can put on it, like a refillable visa gift card or something along those lines but they singed me up for a debit card instead because they didn’t really communicate beforehand.

So I have bad spending habits because of impulsivity and the fact that I have access to online shopping now. So over the span of three days I received 4 packages. I was in the car with my mom when we stopped at the mailbox and pulled one of them out and my response was very quickly “I don’t even remember what I bought” because I genuinely didn’t remember.

My mother reaction, no hesitation, was “you aren’t allowed to go online after taking your meds anymore” (referring to the very high power sleep meds I take because of chronic insomnia). I know reading it over text might not be as impactful to you guys but I was absolutely DYING laughing.

It got even better when the next day I got another package that I once again didn’t remember ordering and I SAID “yeah no I’m gonna start turning off my phone when I take my meds”

(Again you guys might not find this funny but I think it’s absolutely hilarious)

One of the weird things about having multiple types of hallucinogenic disorders (in this case schizophrenia and sleep paralysis) is that I have one single hallucination that crosses between the 2. Like it doesn’t do anything unless its during a sleep paralysis episode but sometimes it’s there even when I’m not “asleep”.

Like when it’s a paralysis thing it like crawls on my ceiling, hangs down every so often, growls/clicks, and just kinda acts like a giant spider with only 4 legs. But when it’s just a schizophrenia thing it just kinda “sits” upside down in the corner of my room staring. It’s not there all the time but sometimes it is.

And there isn’t even like a connection between seeing it paralyzed vs phsycotic. Like if this was a fucking tv show or something it would be like “oh if I see it during the day it means I’m gonna have sleep paralysis tonight” or some shit like that but it’s really just random.

(Picture below the cut that I drew of it during my most recent manic episode)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Team SSS on Day 420