Latest Posts by gallifreyan-consulting-criminal - Page 5

[The Post-reading process] Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar

[The Post-reading process] Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar

I have never admired anyone more than I admire Sylvia Plath. Her sheer talent and wisdom is something of tragic beauty. This extends to her semi-autobiographic novel, The bell jar. Down from here, there are spoilers, so please read at your discretion. The story is narrated by Esther Wormwood, who by any standards is a very talented woman. The book starts with her flourishing internship with a…

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[The Post-reading process] Murakami's Men without Women

[The Post-reading process] Murakami’s Men without Women

The thing about reading Murakami, is the feeling of longing for something. Some books give you the intense satisfaction of a job well done, some with a hope for a different future, and some with the weighing, but welcome sadness. This book, makes the other feelings pale in contrast with what it induces. A distant loneliness that comes with long-unanswered questions. You know how some questions…

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one of many reasons castiel spent the first year of knowing dean trying not to strangle him: dean’s weird little winchester-only dialect

i’m fucking obsessed with this right now, so buckle in for a meta. a cool fun (horrible) thing about dean’s dialogue is that a good 90% of what comes out of his mouth is:

a pop culture reference (“you’re just gonna take some divine bong hit, and shazam, you’re roma downey?”)

references to real life phenomenon (“i don’t wanna wake up missing a kidney in a bathtub full of ice” “try new mexico, i hear he’s on a tortilla”)

these also often take the form of nicknames, and dean has a tendency to give people nicknames in general or call them something besides their given name, whether it’s affectionate or rude (“easy there, van damme” “so i’m girl interrupted” furthermore castiel = cas, ezekiel = zeke, etc, see also frequent use of “chucklehead” “asshat” and on the nicer/endearments end “buddy” “pal” “sunshine” etc)

an idiom (“a snowball’s chance” “if it smells like a duck…”)

slang (“drinking the koolaid” “jonesing for some hooch” not to mention the literal endless amount of words dean uses to refer to killing - gank, waste, juice, ice, etc)

a metaphor (“power up your batteries” “fly me back to my page on the calendar”)

a euphemism (“cloud seeding” “i’d have given you an hour alone with her first”)

sarcasm (his habit of replying “peachy” or “super” when asked how he is)

wordplay (see: the entire “vampirate” and “werepire” debacles)

completely nonsensical (guessing what happened to a magical artifact: “it was dug up by tomb raiders? it was seized by the king of the dead by warlords?”)

said at lightning speed - if you pay attention, dean actually talks a LOT, usually a mile a minute (this makes me feel a way when you recall him being nonverbal for a year at age 4 but that’s another post)

slang IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE (casual usage of “guano,” etc)

a lie, a deflection, a joke, etc

or worse, something dean’s NOT saying, deliberately, because he’s one of the most repressed people on earth

the end result of all this being:

dean winchester is utterly infuckingcomprehensible. 

think about this. there’s an ENTIRE SECTION on EVERY SINGLE EPISODE PAGE of the spn wiki devoted to JUST explaining dean’s pop culture references, because the average viewer won’t have seen everything he’s talking about either. they have a whole page for this called “hunter’s lingo,” but honestly, it’s not all hunters, just sam and dean’s fucking batshit communication style. even i don’t understand dean half the time. SAM gets it, sam speaks it back to dean a lot in the early seasons, but that’s because sam and dean are 1. practically two halves of the same person 2. FREAKS. every time we get an episode that involves outsider POV is devoted to them going “what the fuck is WRONG with them?”

enter castiel. technically speaking, the show implies that angels are omnilingual. castiel should understand every language known to man, but knowing the meaning of words doesn’t help him understand the following:

pop culture references

references to real life phenomenon

nicknames

idioms

slang

metaphors

euphemisms

sarcasm

wordplay

you get the idea.

listen to me. look me in the eyes. castiel cannot understand a single fucking word that comes out of dean’s mouth. my guy laid a hand on dean winchester in hell and immediately fell in love with him and has no fucking idea what he’s talking about ever. because not only is dean winchester’s way of speaking CLINICALLY insane, and sometimes incomprehensible even to other human beings who are not sam, castiel is an angel, and someone prone to taking things even more literally than other angels do

go back and watch and watch seasons 4-5 especially. the reason cas does so much squinting and head tilting is because every time dean opens his mouth castiel has to open up his mental “dean winchester dictionary” and translate entire paragraphs on the fly, because again, dean never shuts up!

what makes this extra hilarious to me is this gem:

this line is from 5.13. at this point cas has known dean for AN ENTIRE YEAR AND A HALF. what you see here is my guy SNAPPING. cas made an EFFORT in this scene. he asked who glenn close was. he’s telling dean that he can’t understand him. he is doing his level best to have a normal conversation with this guy he has a crush on and for the life of him he cannot do it (equal but opposite energy to cas blowing up the gas station and motel room in 4.01, tbh)

yes, cas can understand dean’s tone. he can use context clues, and he usually gets the general idea. and when cas DOES understand dean’s jokes, he laughs at them. the first time we ever see him smile is during their 4.07 heart-to-heart when dean says “it was a witch, not the tet offensive.” since cas has knowledge of human history, he knows what the tet offensive is; he got the joke, and he laughed.

but as far as actual dialogue goes, he consistently struggles to keep up. even after metatron gives castiel the pop culture knowledge in season 9, cas struggles to put it to put it to proper use (dean: “you wanna just walk right into the death star?” cas: “what does a fictional battle station have to do with this?”). whenever he asks dean to clarify it’s always when he’s most annoyed, like most of the time he knows it would be futile but he’s too annoyed to care. (dean: “i don’t know who’s on first, what’s on second!” cas: “what IS second???”) i’m pretty sure he spends seasons 4-6 wanting to shake dean by the shoulders and ask him why he is LIKE THIS. 

it takes cas - who, again, is omnilingual - YEARS to begin to acclimate to dean’s speech and start speaking that language back to him. it’s season 8 before we start really hearing him use slang, season 9 before he begins to understand wordplay, season 10 before he starts using pop culture references (to other angels, who immediately fail to understand him, which disappoints him immensely), and season 11 before he really gets into metaphors. i don’t remember what season he started using “yeah” instead of “yes” but i do know it took a really damn long time. 

and honestly, i don’t think cas truly got the hang of it until at least season 11-12. that’s something like 7 or 8 YEARS. it’s more than half the time they’ve known each other at the point of the series finale. 

so what’s true romance, fellas? it’s falling completely and totally in love with the most inexplicable person you will ever meet in your whole 4.5 billion year life, even though you have yet to understand a single thing he’s ever said to you. thank you for coming to my ted talk

How am I all of these????????? How is that even possible??????

This explains everything

Berens: hey did you get my notes on the Dean and Cas sex scene?

Dabb:

Dabb: what?

Berens: yeah I said I wanted Dean to get nailed

Dabb:

Dabb: to get nailed

Berens:

Berens: yeah. nailed

Dabb: nailed

Berens: ....nailed

Dabb: .............nailed

Berens, choked up: ......nailed

You can't hide the best part in the Tags yo

harry: see ya later, alligator

ron: what’s an alligator

harry: oh my gOD

This happened.

lee jordan has a regular spot on his podcast where he just phones colin creevey and lets him infodump about stuff

he calls it ‘callin’ creevey’

Bruh.

I’m sorry it’s just so funny for one of the most popular ships of all time to actually be canonically acknowledged like you can think any way you want about Cas’ confession but the fact that they ACKNOWLEDGED IT is something my brain will never be able to process correctly. I felt so delusional for so many years. Lmao fuck. Cas is canonically in love with Dean. Fuck.

A-fucking-men for god's sake. This is how anyone is supposed to think!!!!!

I'll print and stick this everywhere until everyone gets a fucking hint.

For all those trashing Jensen Ackles

FIRSTLY, It’s hilarious how 99 percent of you either haven’t watched the show or you haven’t seen it in years and are just jumping on the bandwagon to believe a rumor started by fans whose ship did not get validated by him.

Jensen Ackles is NOT homophobic. 

You know where this rumor has started? The fans of the ship have started it. And why? Because Jensen was true to his character? If the character was written straight, and was written in a way that Dean perceives Castiel as his FRIEND or brother ( as he has himself mentioned) Jensen will HAVE to speak for it as it is. That is how Dean Winchester was written, loyal, a good human, a badass hunter, a selfless being, who loves his family, and most importantly his brother to death. He’s loyal to a fault and once he befriends someone he doesn’t leave their side. THAT is what Dean Winchester is. And that is how he played him.  Jensen Ackles has played characters with varied sexual preferences before, you could probably research - He’s done so with Patrick Dempsey.  More than anything Jensen was just being true to his character - Whether on conventions or as he plays it. Dean was written straight and Jensen has always maintained he’s played him with that in mind because it was originally written.

Last I checked it is not a crime to be straight and neither is it a crime to speak for a character you have played for 15 yrs. What he speaks for his FICTIONAL CHARACTER does not define his real persona. 

Moreover, even if Castiel has feelings for Dean, IT IS okay for Dean to nor feel the same.  One person can love another without it being romantic. No matter how Cas views his relation with Dean or perceives his feelings for Dean. Dean Winchester has EVERY RIGHT TO FEEL DIFFERENTLY. Secondly

Hypothetically even if Dean did feel the same about Cas, mind you EVEN IF (I DO NOT believe he does) BUT IF HE DOES - HOW do you expect him to respond. Castiel is basically giving him a goodbye speech. JUST seconds ago he told Dean about a deal he made - with the price being his life. Billie is knocking on one door, The Empty is coming from another. Dean had no time to react. HE was stunned, shocked and numb. He has no time to let the news of Cas’s deal to sink in, then Cas is praising him and talking of the good Dean has done, of how Dean should value himself.  MIND YOU, THIS is not the first time Cas has said I love you, he’s said it to Dean and all of the Winchesters a while now. So this isn’t news to Dean. But it is news that Cas is about to sacrifice himself, his friend is about to die in a matter of minutes.  God forbid you are in a similar position with SO MUCH going on, will you be able to react or do ANYTHING in the span of 15 seconds? GET FREAKING REAL. Since you don’t watch the show, let me tell you - Dean has always reacted dumbfoundedly when praised or his positive aspects highlighted. THAT is how Dean always has been. His low self esteem and self deprecation always makes it harder for him to respond to praise. If you would have bothered to see the full episode, you’d see Sam praised him earlier and Dean did not accept or found it hard to accept the praise. THAT Is just how Dean is. I think Cas and Dean even without talking know this, that the way they view their relation or fondness for each other is different. Castiel knew this. HE SAID IT. THE SCRIPT SAID IT. 

So just stop accusing a good person, an incredible actor for doing something he hasn’t done. IT IS NOT HIS FAULT that all of you do not understand that love can be one sided. Relationships can go far and beyond romance. Relations can be profound in friendships, they can be platonic. NOT EVERYTHING IS SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC. This is in no way, any disrespect to the people who feel represented, who are from the LGBTQ community or even who aren’t but feel strongly for it. I DO TOO. I stand for it, I want it to be as normal in the world, as breathing is.   BUT by bullying a character and most importantly a PERSON/ A HUMAN BEING for just being honest to how his character is written, how he was told to play it. AND for simply speaking his part of the truth to the fans so as not to wrongly bait them is NOT HOMOPHOBIC.  If at every convention Jensen is questioned about a ship or the character’s sexuality is specified to be something he knows it isn’t - SHOULD he just lie to you to please you? When he knows Dean was NOT written like that?  As shippers you have every right to feel validated, and to view your ship the way you see fit. BUT then Jensen has the same rights over a character he knows since it originated.  Once again - feelings can be one sided and relations/love can be platonic… A joke or accusation that started in the fandom just because Jensen chose to stay true to his character and not lie has turned too big and notorious. PLEASE STOP.  Jensen Ackles does not deserve this. 

I didn't want my heart anyway... Now it's lying somewhere where I read this damn post. Yes please read it too.

written for suptober day 4: branded

i solemnly swear to stop writing sad shit at some point

Sam made him take the jacket off. It was the first time he’d come alive since it happened. He fought back, pushing him away and clutching it closely to his body. 

When Sam had finally pushed him into a chair and peeled it off him, his eyes had widened and Dean had cursed. 

He didn’t need Sam to see. He didn’t need Sam to know why he was spiraling, a million emotions clamoring for his attention. He didn’t need Sam to know that he was so numb to everything, so completely lost that he barely even cared that what Sam had taken away wasn’t even the whole mark. 

Sam looked between Dean’s eyes and the burn marks on his t-shirt, eyes questioning, and then he took the jacket to throw it in the wash. 

By the time he got back, Dean had pulled the sleeve of his shirt down. He was just staring. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think, just stared. 

He could feel the burn searing into his skin. Could feel the jolt of Cas’ grace ripping frantically through him. Could see the terror in the angel’s eyes. Could see the cosmic entity in Billie’s guise smirking at them as she pulled Cas away. 

Sam cleared his throat and sat at the table across from him. Dean didn’t bother looking up from the mark. “That’s the same place you had it when he pulled you from-”

“Yeah,” Dean said quietly. 

Keep reading

The members of the "I am bisexual in every way except canon" club

This is edited, because I screwed up and put Elenour from the Good place on here and people in the comments told me she is canon bi. So I replaced her with Stiles. I honestly have no idea how I forgot him, since he is a poster child for fanon bisexuals.

Yesssssssssss

i will always love supernatural for many reasons, but mainly because it brought me to all of you. <3

[Amusing myself and my anxiety] Post #6 - Separation and associated shenanigans

[Amusing myself and my anxiety] Post #6 – Separation and associated shenanigans

What started off as a draft about separation anxiety, quickly turned into an impersonal review of my writing style. When I sat down to write this one out, my anticipations included word vomit, erratic typing and loads of re-reading and deleting things like – do I actually write like that? Do people come and read this for the way I’ve written?Nevertheless, I hope to cater to a regular audience and…

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Yes please???

tumblr is dying bc people won’t reblog content, and im not talking about how creators are posting less bc of that, it’s because it doesn’t matter how much new content and edits and gifs creators post, most people wont see it bc people dont reblog posts 

If you get this and would like - answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Let's do this -

I am an aspiring author

I love anything blue

And I hope to teach people someday

@winchester-reload @almaasi @alwaysdrarried @ravenclawravings @malecdaily @bipersonstuckintheinternet @pukicho

I thought this was a master joke first and then the blog name came up

From birth, your parents have done everything they could to stop you from going out during a full moon. At the age of 16, curiosity overwhelms you and you sneak out of the house during a full moon. You take a peek at the moon, and suddenly you turn into a log cabin. You are a werehouse.

Oh how I wish this comes true

last scene of supernatural is sam, dean, and cas leaning against the impala, beers clinking. no one speaks; their work is done and they can finally, finally just hold on to this moment, together. they take in the sunset, the still-warm metal of baby’s hood, the soft rustling of the breeze through grass and leaves. and like it isn’t everything, like it’s the simplest thing he’s done in his long, hard-won life cas reaches down to lace his fingers through dean’s. they keep their gaze to the sky, so it’s only the sinking sun that sees the way dean nearly breaks in relief, its orange glow catching the shine in his eyes and quiet turn of his lips. it casts shadows long and dark behind them, almost phantom in their presence, but the three men don’t look back to see. dean leans into the warmth instead, and against the steadfast fabric of castiel’s shoulder he rests his weary head.

This has finally made it to my dash

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I did not know this. That doesn't stop me from being thankful to her.

Knowing that trans women of color started the movement in the united states and were literally immediately erased and excluded from what they started is the most deeply jading knowledge.

It is the original sin of the so-called queer community and it damns it from the cradle.

For future reference.

Yes. Nailed it.

Me: *quickly completes several lessons on duolingo due to hearing spanish for most of my life and having been conversational in high school*

Me: i cant believe i somehow manipulated duolingo into thinking i know spanish

[Knocking on doors for personality donations] Post #1 - To draw your Kind Attention please

[Knocking on doors for personality donations] Post #1 – To draw your Kind Attention please

“Can you take a few minutes to talk about our -” and the door slams. I understand, no one likes a door to door caller. That doesn’t mean that I have not received what I want. Oh wait, starting from the middle makes no sense – literally and metaphorically.

So, I am not a salesman, I am a collector of sorts – I go around taking whatever I am offered. Everyone over here does. No man is an island.…

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Bolt

Change a single letter and change the word game

I want to play a game with you all.

You have to make a new word by changing only one letter of the last word.

Dirt

Reblogging for the best addition ever

Sometimes fanfiction is a love letter to the original canon, sometimes it’s just that one telegram that says “Fuck you. Strongly worded letter to follow”.

REBLOG IF YOU THINK IS OKAY FOR  A BOY  READ AND/OR WRITE FANFICTION

I’m trying to make a point to a friend

To all INTJs: if you want to join the intj chat just message me or reblog. I’ve created one chat, you could also search it.

3 million words fic rec (Destiel)

I’ve officially posted 3 million words on my AO3 account!!

Here’s all 115 of my Dean/Cas fics (as of December 30th 2019). They currently make up 85% of my total fics. I posted 42 fics this year, with a new Destiel fic once every 2 weeks on average, with 24 total.

(The rest, as of the last 6 months, are Crowley/Azriaphale (Good Omens) and Garak/Bashir (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine). There’s separate fic recs for those. And here’s one Cockles fic.)

Fics listed by year (newest first), then by word count (shortest first).

–

2019

Just a Sniffle (2k / canon, Cas has a cold, Dean gives him a foot rub)

Hanukkahn’t Resist You (2k, AU, teacher!Dean gives autistic Jewish teacher!Cas a Hanukkah greeting card containing a pickup line)

Brothers Don’t Do That (3k / canon, Cas talks to Sam about how their feelings for Dean differ while ordering take-out)

Taste the Rainbow (In the Rain) (4k / AU, strangers sharing Skittles in the rain and kissing to help Dean quit smoking)

Hit Pause Kitty Claws (4k / AU, Team Free Will are cats belonging to Death!Billie, soft fluff and feline antics)

Weird But Confident (5k / canon, Cas finds Dean’s panties in his bag and thinks Dean slept with a woman)

Enemies Closer (5k / teachers AU, Dean keyed the wrong car, Cas runs AV club and Dean joins him so he has an alibi for his crime)

Snugglebird (5k / canon, Dean’s clothes are going missing, Cas is building a nest

Texted My Ex and Got You Instead (6k, AU, title explains it, fluff, asexual!Cas)

The Angel Cake Challenge (8k / canon crossover with Good Omens (book), Dean tells Crowley & Aziraphale they’re a cute couple and they encourage him to make a move on Cas)

Let’s Play Doctors (8k / canon, smut, Dean asks Cas for medical roleplay and they use the machines to watch themselves have first-time sex)

Good For You (11k / canon, Dean teaches Cas to masturbate over the phone, then shows him properly in person)

BFBF (Best Friend’s Boyfriend) (11k / AU, ft. Eileen - Cas has an absent bisexual boyfriend named Dean, Sam has an absent straight brother named Dean, oops they’re the same Dean)

Dean and Castiel’s Lagoon of Love (12k, canon, Cas is cursed with tentacles and that’s Dean’s kink, they roleplay Dean’s favourite anime, smut and feelings)

Measure of Thigh Love (14k / canon, Dean is turned on by big muscles, Cas has some of those. smut, bottom!Cas)

Eleven Erogenous Zones of a Fallen Angel (15k / canon, Cas accidentally has physical wings and he hates them, Dean bathes and grooms Cas to soothe him, wing kink smut)

Two Heart Pose (17k / AU, overwhelmed papa!Dean, yoga instructor!Cas helps out with baby care)

Through the Lace (18k / office romance AU, desperation & pee kink smut, Dean in panties)

Sycamore Smile (18k / AU, professor!Cas, barista!Dean with a pet bunny, both are a hot mess, Dean helps Cas KonMari his life, ft. the purest fluff and sunshine)

Circuitry and Dust (23k / AU, demiromantic antique dealer!Cas, gaming lounge owner!Dean, Cas wrongly assumes his love is unrequited so helps set Dean up with an ex-girlfriend)

He’s Kind of a Hairy Fairy (24k / AU, Team Free Will & co. running a summer camp, there’s only one bed in Dean & Cas’ cabin, Rowena curses Dean with fairy wings and he has to confess his feelings to get rid of them)

First and Only (35k / AU, Dean bets Sam he can have more sex in one year, Dean & Cas become fuck buddies, but Dean wants more so asks Charlie for help)

☆ Sleigh ☆ (46k / Christmas AU, makeup artist!Cas also works for Santa, Dean tags along delivering gifts on Christmas Eve, later a long distance relationship and eventual smut)

He’s a (Zoo) Keeper (74k / AU, when zookeeper!Dean isn’t dating anyone, he and beekeeper!Cas have a BFF-roommates-with-benefits thing, but then Cas becomes a wedding planner and plans their fake wedding, drama with smut and feelings)

2018

Gulls N’ Roses (2k / canon, Dean hands Cas a rose, Cas interprets it as romantic)

Lost Night (2k / canon, Dean has nightmares, Cas dreamwalks to help)

He Called Me Honey (3k / canon, breakfast fluff, Dean dreamed he kissed Cas, talks to Sam, Cas shows up)

Note to Self: Cas Loves You (3k / canon, very drunk!Dean, Cas confesses his love)

I’m Dreamin’ of a Grey Christmas (4k / canon, Team Free Will 2.0 snow fight, Cas has some new grey hair, Dean has hearteyes, season 14 divergent)

Dry in the Downpour (5k / Pixar-short-inspired AU, umbrella-sharing)

Prince of the Ether Realms (5k / canon - season 13, must get married for a spell, Sam officiates)

Never or Forever (5k, canon, family dinner, Jody POV)

Without Further Ado (5k, canon, Dean has a list of “reasons not to be with Cas" but they’re all irrelevant now)

Wee Little Love Child (10k / canon, de-aged!Sam thinks Dean and Cas are his parents, gets them together)

Room for Two (The Mattress AU) (14k / college roommates AU, autistic!Cas, fake relationship, ALL the bed-sharing tropes)

Paramour by Post (18k / historical-ish AU, mail delivered to the wrong address, love letters, agender!Cas, bisexual!Dean)

Barbershop Duet (22k / Christmas AU, smut, shaving kink, domesticity, family gatherings)

The House That Wanted to Be a Garden (32k / AU, famous musician!Dean, gardener!Cas, fairies, accidentally moving in)

Duck Duck Boots (92k / ex-daredevil kindergarten teacher!Dean, agoraphobic Cas, small town magic realism & fate AU, looking after ducklings together)

2017

Unconditional (2k / canon - season 13, Dean explains why he loves Cas)

Mostly in Silence (4k / canon, Cas is depressed, Dean helps with self-care)

Restaurant Revelations (4k / canon, Dean and Cas tell Sam they’re engaged)

Whoa There Cowboy (5k / canon, cowboy-kink smut, porn-watching, magic fingers bed)

Pretty Panties and the Pool Shark (6k / kid!fic AU, autistic!Cas is scared of an imaginary shark in the school pool)

Purple Horse in a Coffee Shop (8k / ultimate office romance, pride parade, coffee shop AU)

Lucid Nightmare (10k / siren!Cas AU, dreamwalk-or-die, spooky fluff)

Stumble and Fall (20k / Team Free Will as dogs AU, search-and-rescue adventure, fluff & pining)

A Place and A Feeling (24k / AU, real estate agent!Cas, Dean looking for a house)

Night Exhibition (26k / AU, security guard!Cas at museum at night, friends to lovers, sex everywhere)

The Emporium of Christmas Enchantments (28k / Christmas, magic toyshop AU, kind of like a Disney movie)

Marshmalloween (33k / Halloween AU, Dean takes Sam’s teen friends to a haunted swamp, meet old bestie Cas, ghost adventures)

Our Garden Home (36k / everyone is a garden fairy, AU disabled autistic!Cas, found families)

The Wireless (58k / solarpunk carnival adventure AU, famous hunter!Dean, famous radio presenter angel!Cas, tent sex)

What We Ache For (93k / sex worker!Cas AU, Dean wants to make love, trauma recovery, Team Free Will & found families, a dog)

2016

Fight and Fool Around (5k / AU, bartender!Cas, Dean realises he’s bisexual, alleyway smut)

Tickle Fight Wasteland (5k / AU, fluff in a post-apocalyptic world, everyone is alive, tickle fight & cuddling)

Raising Hell in a Hotel (29k / kid!fic, living in a hotel AU, friendship, pining)

Welcome All Winchesters (60k / AU, snowy Christmas cabin, fake relationship, friends to lovers)

The Moonlighter and the Magician (67k / 1920s historical AU, asexual jewel thief!Cas, bisexual!Dean, running away together)

2015

What’s a Hickey? (1k / canon, Cas has a hickey, talks to Sam about it)

A Postcard for Castiel (4k / AU, kid!fic, autistic!Cas exchanges compliments with Dean, teacher!Charlie)

Symbols of Affection (4k / canon, Dean accidentally texts Cas a kissy-face emoji)

In Which Dean Frogs Up (6k / canon, Dean’s turned into frog in Moondoor, needs true love’s kiss to fix)

The One Where You Are A Guinea Pig (8k / canon, title says it all, Cas takes you to the bunker, Team Free Will interact)

We’re the New Romantics (8k / gifted & talented high school camp AU, aromantic!Cas, pop culture geek!Dean)

Waiting For That Final Moment (8k / AU, Cas interrupts Dean & Lisa’s wedding at a roller rink to declare his love, polyamory)

Delirium and Doctor Sexy (9k / canon, bisexual!Dean high on magical gas, thinks Cas is Dr. Sexy)

#ThankYouSammy (9k / canon, Sam prepares a Valentine’s Day dinner-date for Dean & Cas)

Dean Winchester the Puppydog (10k / canon, puppy play, submissive!Dean, hurt/comfort, non-sexual)

Father Material (12k / AU, asexual uncle!Cas, babysitter!Dean, kid!Claire, romantic attraction)

The Tailor of Fairy Ridge (17k / fairytale AU, tailor!Cas, fairy!Dean helps with clothing designs, good witch!Charlie, evil witch!Rowena)

Take You To The Country (18k / 1920s historical AU, pining, Dean reads an elopement proposal in the newspaper and realises it’s for him, running away together)

Sharing the Rain Dog (19k / AU, musician!Dean, FBI agent!Cas, sharing custody of a dog, have to move in to look after her)

Drop Anchor (42k / pirate!Cas, sailor!Dean, trapped on a deserted island and accidentally achieve domestic bliss AU)

Snow Place Like Home (But My Home Is With You) (47k / canon, Team Free Will in a B&B over Christmas, softness, smut & domesticity)

Held in Your Tender Hands (59k / AU, agender tattooed masseur!Cas, customer!Dean, workplace sex, paintball, found families, somnophilia)

2014

Cheek on Your Shoulder (1k / canon, Dean misses Cas, hugs him and can’t let go)

The Literal Bear Hug (1k / canon, Cas is accidentally a bear, cuddling)

If I Fall For You (2k / canon, Hannah likes Cas but Cas loves Dean)

If You Could Go Anywhere (3k / canon, Team Free Will ponder: all the drama is over, so what now?)

Cherry Pink Wedding (4k / AU, Dean & Cas both cry at Sam’s wedding)

Lettuce Share This Moment (4k / canon, Dean secretly likes salad… and Cas)

The Joke Is on You (And So Is Castiel) (4k / canon, April Fool’s Day, Cas pranks Dean & Sam when they pray for him)

Some People Would Call This Romantic (5k / canon, Dean and Cas take a long walk on the beach)

Panic Kiss (5k / AU, Dean has a panic attack, Cas calms him down, accidental kissing)

Boutique du Ballet (6k / canon, Dean loves ballet and wants to try the outfits - either crossdressing or trans-curious!Dean)

Minty Fresh Kisses (7k / canon, Dean teaches Cas to brush his teeth)

Sexier Than Doctor Sexy (8k / AU, doctor!Cas, Dean gets a prostate exam and enjoys it more than he should)

Sam Accidentally Sees the Whole Picture (10k / canon, smut, Sam is in the room while Dean & Cas do it for the first time, Sam POV)

Understanding Your Body in Ten Easy Steps (12k / canon, smut, Dean teaches Cas how to masturbate)

Roost (12k / AU, Dean and Cas are rescued fighting roosters, for some reason not that interested in girl chickens)

Dead Body Disposal 101 (14k / canon, angel!Cas wants to be a hunter so Dean & Sam show him how, Dean & Cas are bad at expressing feelings)

Of Shampoo and Fruit Flies (17k / roommate AU, autistic!Cas, confessing feelings surrounded by supportive friends)

Love Him in His Sleep (Love Him Always) (32k / canon, Dean has wet dreams about being cuddled, Cas is into somophilia and dreamwalks to gain consent)

Preacher Comfort (42k / AU, hurt/comfort, asexual preacher!Cas, nurse!Dean, hugs & cuddling, Halloween)

Nine Times We Met (And One Christmas We Parted) (58k / queer historical romantic angst AU, teacher!Cas, firefighter!Dean, meeting over the years & falling in love)

Hart of the Storm (119k / historical AU, hunter!Dean turned into a deer by shapeshifting god!Cas, magic forest)

2013

For a Scarf in October (1k / canon, Halloween, Dean wants to buy a ~women’s~ scarf, Sam tells him it’s okay)

Of All the Bars in the World (There Are None Between Us) (2k / prison AU, Dean and Cas are cellmates, discuss past and future intimacy)

Dean’s List (3k / canon, Dean writes a list of men he’d ~go gay~ for, Sam has a suggestion to make, bisexual!Dean)

Nobody’s Daddy (3k / canon, accidental baby acquisition, Dean breastfeeds, then Cas arrives with actual milk)

Foal Delivery Service (4k / AU fusion with ‘My Little Pony’ - kid pony!Dean finds out how heteronormative the world is, then meets agender pony!Cas, later have baby ponies together)

Winchester’s Rouge (6k / canon, angst, Dean tries on makeup and remembers his mother)

Manscaping (6k / canon, Cas cuts himself shaving his junk, Dean does first aid, boners)

Sharing Hands (6k / canon - season 8, smut, Cas is possessing Dean, masturbate together)

Play Nice, Kids (10k / AU or alternate canon, reverse-verse, angel winged!Dean, wing kink masturbation, sex toys)

Hello Night (11k / historical AU, demon possessing Dean, priest!Cas, crossroads sex to save Dean, Cas/demon & Cas/Dean)

Shadows Across the Camera Lens (13k / AU, smut, dominant bottom photographer!Cas, submissive top crossdressing underwear model!Dean)

Faerie Strange Circumstances (30k / AU hunters, fairy!Cas, fairy realm adventures, Bobby’s house, Charlie, Jody)

Bad Things With You (31k / AU or alternate canon, smut, catboy!Dean, catboy!Cas, mating urges, biting, licking, fake relationship is actually real)

Cowboys and Real Estate Angels (36k / AU, bisexual retired musician cowboy!Dean, old fan!Cas, lovemaking, falling in love in one night)

Try-Something Tuesday (48k / my most popular fic of all time, teacher!Dean, librarian teacher!Cas, smut in strange places, school trips, moving in together AU)

The Feline Perspective of a Guilty Conscience (51k / canon divergent - season 9, hurt/comfort, Dean transformed into a cat, sad angel!Cas, Team Free Will, forgiveness)

Foxfire Blossom (283k / AU, florist!Dean, rich!Cas, affairs, soap opera-level drama, sex, highly problematic lies, and cheating, ALL the characters)

2012

Angelhawke (407k / epic medieval fantasy AU, Dean and Cas are cursed to be animals in the day/night, travel with Sam and Bobby as they tell their story in flashbacks, quest to be together, based on ‘Ladyhawke’ but ~70% original story)

–

New fics are on their way in 2020! 

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Thank you all so much for supporting me all these years. I’m so excited to see what I end up writing next~!! ♥

Elmie x

Commission - Castiel and Dean Downtime by DeanGrayson For ShortFuseTheLoneWolf! Please do not repost. Reblog to show your support! Thank you!