Prideknights.com⚔️🌈

rats can drive cars btw. if u even care

Today, Jesus is holding:

James Earl Jones

Jaune is Harem Caesar

*Senate floor before meeting*

Cardin: What does he want now?

Ren: It appears he'll ask for another set of emergency powers as well as approval of Senate to add ten more wives to his harem.

Cardin: Again? Again?!

Ironwood: As far as I see this, he is consolidating the power before proclaiming himself dictator.

Adam: Look who's talking.

Ren: Let's not assume things Senator Ironwood. Besides I'll hand him a petition to sign today. I assure you our Divine Leader will approve of it.

Adam: Divine Leader? When did he add that crap?

Ren: Last week while you were absent. You should really stop stalking Blake. According to the new law you could get arrested for disturbing Divine Leader's wife.

Sun: Dude definitely, his goons beat me up yesterday for just looking at Blake.

Neptune: No dude, they beat you up because you were piss drunk and refused to show driver's license. Then you asked officer to check your pants for hidden bananas.

Sun: Potato-potato.

Adam: Typical bootlicker...

Cardin: Don't you think Jauney Boy has to...

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune.

Cardin: Sigh... Don't you think Divine Leader Jaune has took things bit too far?

Ren: He did help to save the world, he is owed at least some gratitude.

Sun: Well I helped as well and all I got was this lousy toga.

Adam: I think we might need a revolution.

Oscar: Shhhh, here he comes.

*Jaune enters the Senate*

Divine Leader Jaune: Gentlemen... Cardin. I've come to ask for more emergency powers.

Adam: Again? What happened to last ten emergency powers?

Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Those were hardly enough. Do you expect me to run this country with just that?

Adam: Wait a minute...

Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: What's the matter Senator Taurus?

Adam: You title just increased!

Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I fail to see your point.

Ironwood: At this point he'll add every possible title except Dictator.

Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'll consider those emergency powers added since I didn't see any complaints. Moving on. I wish to add ten more wives to my modest Harem of 1566.

Cardin: Ten more wives? This is outrageous! How is any of us suppose to get a wife?

Qrow: As if that was stopping you.

*laughter in Senate room*

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Since Cardin has been sufficiently owned, this also passes. Moving on. I demand funding for time travel and alternate universe travel projects.

Ironwood: That sounds incredibly costly. For what purpose may I ask?

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You see, I wish to add younger version of Maria Calavera to my Harem. As for the alternate universe travel, I wish to add female versions of some of you to my Harem. I suspect female Adam and Oscar might be to my liking.

Adam: Yeah, I'm fucking killing him.

Oscar: Shhhh, Ren is handing him the petition.

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune!

Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Please Ren, use the full title.

Ren: *breathes in* Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune, I'd like you to sign this petition. It's to limit some of your powers and redistribute some of your wives to your loyal subjects.

Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Frankly, this is absurd.

Ren: What?

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Ren you can't expect me to sign off some of my wives, they all have a valuable purpose. Nora for example is an excellent titty cup holder. You expect me to make such a sacrifice?

Ren: You use Nora as a titty cup holder?!

About to be Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Only on Tuesdays. Wait... what was that new title?

Ren: You know what, stab him! *pulls out a knife and stabs Jaune*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh... my titles faded away. Someone help me!

Qrow: Gotcha kid! *slips and accidentally stabs Jaune* Ufff, my Semblance and alcohol are not a good combination.

Adam: Long live the Revolution! *stabs Jaune*

Sun: Nothing personal Dude. *stabs Jaune*

Tai: There can only be one blonde with multiple partners. *stabs Jaune* Also, I saw you post those pictures of Yang and Ruby *stabs Jaune again*

Cardin: I've been waiting for this! *misses Jaune* Aw come on!

Tyrian: I'm not even member of this Senate, but I've heard we are stabbing someone. *stabs Jaune multiple times*

*Jaune backs away*

Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You snivelling cowards! How dare you stab me! And get that stupid thing out of my title!

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'm a Harem King! You can't defeat me! Do you know how many Harem fics do all of you have? ZERO! Now face me if you dare!

*Oscar sneaks up behind Jaune and stabs him*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh, even you Oscar? Is this because of Ruby?

Oscar: Kind of. I mean I was pretty mad when you took Ruby as one of your wives. But then you also took my aunt... and demanded I start calling you Daddy Arc. But that part about you taking my alternate self as your wife kind of creeped me out the most.

Stabbed Jaune: Fair enough. *dies*

Adam: Gentlemen... H*mans... Revolution has prevailed!

*everyone cheers*

Ren: Now all we need to do is elect a democratic leader. No more Divine Leaders.

Adam: In that case, I elect myself as a new leader and as a first edict I take Blake as my wife!

Ironwood: No, I shall be the new leader! I'm the one with most experience taking over things.

Cardin: Oh no boys, this is a start of Cardin era.

Sun: Dude fuck off, nobody even likes you.

*Yang closes the book*

Blake: So what do you think?

Yang: Was that previous description of VB "plundering my holes" really necessary?

Blake: It adds to the immersion, brutality of the setting.

Yang: Blake, sweetie, for the love of Gods, could you stop writing stories like this?

Have a great day everybody

sorry what

Persemblance

1 / 2 / (3) / 4

So, you decided to watch the midnight channel.

Blake: Guess who's wearing her kitty panties~!

Neptune: (Via scroll) DUUUUUUUUUUUDE~!.

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Coal's & Son's

Neptune: Yo! I got some stuff out of my closet~!

PFFFT!

Neptune: Guess what's better than a rake~!

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Vasilias Residence

Neptune: DAAAD! WHERE DO WE KEEP THE RAILGUNS?!

Papa Vasilias: HALL CLOSET!

Neptune: OKAY, COOL!

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Neptune: Hey, everyone! I LOVE RAILGUNS~!

Police: ...

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I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT WAVE RAILGUNS AROUND IN A FOOD COURT. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS. I WILL NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH GANGSTERS.

Qrow: (Sips coffee)

Neptune: (Muttering) Lame ass railguns...

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Neptune: Okay, so, apparently, bringing a weapon into a food court is against the law now...

Clover: Speaking of against the law, WHO WANTS TO TALK ABOUT MURDERS~?!

Clover: Don't tell anyone I said this, buuut Blake Belladonna missing and we kiiinda think she's the killer.

Neptune: Huh?!

Clover: Yeah, and-

Qrow: (Dynamic Entry!)

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Then, at a weapon's shop...

Neptune: Wow, Yang! Glad you know about a place like this! Now we just need to figure out a way to get into Coal's without getting arrested.

Yang: Hey! No one will notice if we hide them under our uniforms!

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CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK! CLANK!

Yang: Whoa~! It's a castle!

Somewhat: It might be dangerous in there, so we'll need to be carefu-

Yang: HERE I GOOOOOO~!

Somewhat: Wait, what?

Neptune: OH, WHAT THE HELL, YANG?!

?Blake?: (Sighs) Yang is the best friend ever~!

Yang: Blake?!

?Yang?: Oh, I'm sorry! Was that Blake just now?

Yang: Huh?

?Yang?: I dunno! I don't speak SKANKY WHORE.

Neptune: (Eating popcorn)

Somewhat: (Eating popcorn)

Yang: Wh-What?! That's not how I think of her at all!

?Yang?: Yeah, whatever! Terrible friend...

Yang: NO! YOU'RE NOT ME!

DOMINATRIX BIKER GIIIRL~! GARU! Then Yang got a persona.

Yang: Neat~! Okay! Let's go save Blake!

Yang: YAAA- (Falls over)

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Qrow: So, when can I expect an explanation for why you and some kid from school had swords at the food court today?

Qrow: I mean, I AM a detective and we ARE investigating a MURDER right now-

Ruby: Uncle Qrow, are you two fighting?

Qrow: Ruby-

Ruby: UNCLE QROW, WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING?! STOP FIGHTING! STOP FIGHTING! YOU PROMISED YOU'D STOP FIGHTING!

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Goodwitch: Hello, this is Glynda. You know, the really pissed off looking woman who hangs with Ozpin.

Oh, okay. You wondered how she got your scroll-

Goodwitch: Okay, I know your friend is going to die in a few days, but you really need to join a sports club, so get on that.

CLICK!

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Okay! It's sportsclub time! There's basketball and soccer! Let's check them out!

Marrow: Hey! I'm Marrow Amin! You know what I like? Balls.

Marrow: I LOOOVE THEM BALLS~!

Marrow: You need me to throw balls at you guys? 'Cause I've got all kinds of balls~!

???: Dude, you gotta stop polishing those balls!

Marrow: I CAN'T STOP, MAN! THESE BALLS ARE ON FIRE! RAAAGH!

You decided not to join a sports club.

Marrow: Hey, wait, come back~!

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SOCIAL LINK GO!

Neptune: (Chewing) Dude, this steak is awesome.

RANK UP!

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HEY! You're not done! Go join a culture club! You decided to check out the band first.

Velvet: Who wants to help me overcome my SELF-ESTEEM ISSUES?!

You decided to join drama.

Velvet: NOOOO~! SENPAAAI~!

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Okay, enough screwing around! Let's go save Blake!

Neptune/Somewhat/Yang: YAAAY~!

?Blake?: BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH

Yang: There she is! I wonder what deep, dark secrets Blake's been hiding from us all this time...

?Blake?: I don't like being forced to inherit my family's business~.

Blake: NOOO! HOW DARE YOU! YOU'RE NOT ME!

IT'S SYMBOLIC~!

Grimm Blake: CA-CAAAW!

BUFU!

Grimm Blake: SHIT!

Yang: (Hugging Blake, Sobbing) I'M SO SORRY, BLAKE~!

Blake: (Hugging Yang, Sobbing) I LOVE YOU, YANG~!

Blake has obtained the person, Bumba- Bamble- FUCK IT.

Somewhat: Now who wants to get naked~?

Neptune: Okay, guys, let's head back so Blake can get some rest.

Yang: Yeah~!

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Qrow: Ruby, I'm home!

Ruby: !!!

Qrow: And I brought this strange man from work with me!

Ruby: ...

Clover: So I heard somebody wanted to talk about MURDERS~! Because don't tell anyone I said this, buuut-

Qrow: (Backhands)

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You met all your friends after school to discuss Blake's kidnapping.

Yang: Blake, do you remember anything about when you were kidnapped?

Blake: No.

RANK UP!

Neptune: Now let's celebrate by eating other people's food!

Neptune: CHOMP!

Yang: WHAT-

Neptune: Shut up! I'm buying you steak!

Blake: M... My... fried... to... fu...

Neptune: Uh, Blake?

Blake: My fried tofu... My fried tofu! My fried tofu! MY FRIED TOFU! MY FRIED TOFU!

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Somewhat: Blake-chwan~! I made you these glasses!

Blake: I'm still mad.

Blake: (Puts on glasses) PFFFFHAHAHAHA! YOU ALL LOOK SO RIDICULOUS! THESE ARE THE BEST GLASSES EVER! YANG, YOU HAVE TO WEAR THESE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

... Shut up. It's an endearing character trait.

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Qrow: So, uh, I might be able to get the weekend off.

Ruby: (Gasps) Does this mean we can go on a trip?!

Qrow: Anywhere you want, kiddo!

Ruby: YAAAY~! THIS TRIP IS GONNA BE THE BEST EVER AND I'M GONNA PACK UP ALL MY STUFF AND WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE BEACH AND LOOK AT CRABS AND GO SWIMMING AND I'M SO EXCITED THAT WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND-

RIIING~!

Ruby: Oh, that must be Uncle Qrow! (Answers) Hello, Uncle Qrow?

Ruby: ...Mhm?

Ruby: ...

Ruby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH~! (Slam)

Qrow: Hey, uh, you know how I said we were gonna go on a trip for the weekend? Uh... J-Just kidding~!

Qrow: (Throbbing music behind him) It's, uh... official police business. Can't talk about it.

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Neptune: Hey, don't take it so hard, Ruby!

Neptune: IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR MOM IS DEAD OR ANYTHING!

Ruby: WHA?!

Neptune: So, who wants soda?

Blake: Ha ha~!

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Hey, you wanna hang out at the train station? Whoops! The train station actually sucks. Now check out this sweet dog!

Zwei: (Barks)

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Qrow: Happy Children's Day, Ruby~! Here, I got you something~!

Ruby: !!!

Ruby: (Holds up baby boy clothes) Oooh, a t-shirt! (Holding in tears) W-Wow, look at the f-funny design! Ha ha ha ha! Y-Yay!

Qrow: You like it? I got it on sale!

Qrow: I got you something, too!

Opening the bag, you find a very small speedo with the words "Cute Pie" on one side.

Qrow: (Gives thumbs up)

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Yang: Hey, Neptune, exams are coming up!

Neptune: Aw, maaan~! Hey, Blake, maybe we could study togeth- URGH!

Blake: (Recovers fist from hitting his face) Oh, I'm sorry! You meant studying, weren't you? I had no idea!

Neptune: Why...

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Mid-Terms start today! Did you study hard? What number comes after 2? a. 1 b. 5 c. 10 d. 3

Neptune: (Thinking) CRAPCRAPCRAP CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP

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SOCIAL LINK GO! Happy drama funtime!

???: Your mom is in the hospital.

Whitley: AAAAAAAAH! I HATE MY DAAAD!

And then going to drama got REALLY awkward.

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TV: Tonight! Biker gangs! In YOUR neighborhood!.

Ruby: Yaaay~!

Cardin: GET BENT GET BENT GET BENT

Qrow: Hey, that's Cardin Winchester. He should be in school.

Sounds like your next party member! You should watch the Midnight Channel.

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Neptune: Okay, let's discuss what we saw on the midnight channel-

Blake: HA HA HA HA YANG YOU ARE SOOO FUNNY HEE HEE HEE!

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You watched again while eating Ruby's science homework.

Cardin: (Appears on screen)

Neptune: (Via scroll) Hey, do you have any idea who that was just now because I-

"It's Cardin, you idiot."

Neptune: Oh. By the way, Yang or Blake? Which one is your type?

STEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAKSTEAK

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Yang Blake Both >Can I wait until I have more girls to choose from?<

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Emerald: DID SOMEBODY SAY GIRLS?!

Emerald: Because I'm a boy, just so you know.

Emerald: Mr. Winchester, let us engage in gentlemanly things.

Cardin: Are you hitting on me?

Neptune: Cardin's planning something with that weird boy!

You should check it out!

Neptune: Okay!

Neptune: Alright, guys! Who's ready for a stakeout?!

Yang: WHO SAID STEAK?!

Neptune: We should split into teams.

Who do you want to go with? >Yang< Blake Neptune NO. You don't have a social link with Blake yet!

Blake: HA HA!

Blake: BOYSBOYSBOYSBOYSBOYSBOYS

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Neptune: Wow... We totally stand out...

Yang: Please get off my back.

Cardin: What are you guys doing?

Neptune: Watching you hang out with a dude!

Yang: Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Neptune: Yeah, I mean, if you like dudes.

Cardin: YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES?

Neptune/Yang: ...

And then there was a wacky chase scene!

Neptune/Yang: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Cardin: NOOO, COME BACK, I LOVE GIRLS!

Neptune: Hey, but can we ask you something?

Cardin: What?

Neptune: Has anything... strange happened to you lately?

Cardin: Strange? YOU SAYIN' I LIKE DUDES?

Cardin: TAKIN' YOU PUNKS DOWN! RAAAA

You know what? Let's just stick to the midnight channel.

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Blake: (Via scroll) Hey, Cardin's gone missing! What do you think?

Eh, I dunno >He's in the TV< You wanted to say that, but you didn't have enough COMMON SENSE.

Blake: Let's be extra careful!

Okay, okay! Watch the midnight channel already!

Cardin: I'm Cardin Winchester and I enjoy naked men~. Oh yeah~.

Neptune: !!!

. . .

My fellow leftists, do NOT give in to defeatism.

Things are already turning around.

having a bad day so i'd like to show you all my cat (moonpie) in a necktie, if that's okay