Georgecauldron800 - Untitled

Ozpin's Last Resort

Adam: This is the end, "Headmaster". Your students won't be coming to save you now!

Ozpin: Maybe so, but don't count me out just yet.

Adam: You don't scare me, Ozpin. Do your wor-

Ozpin: (Uses "recall" spell)

Adam: (Reliving worst day of his life) NO! Not this... Anything but this! DON'T MAKE ME RELIVE THIS!

Ozpin: That's what you get- What do you mean "relive this"?

Adam: I can't believe you'd put me back in those damned dust mines! How dare you use those memories against me!

Ozpin: Oh, so those are your memories?

Adam: What do you mean?! You just showed them to me!

Ozpin: I remember a few years ago, when I was traveling, I scanned them from somewhere and thinking, "Wow, that's heavy!" And stuck that puppy in my back pocket to keep in reserves for emergencies like this!

Adam: Wait, so you didn't pull up my memories of the dust mines from my head? You just had that entire thing on standby?!

Ozpin: Pretty much.

Adam: ...THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Ozpin: YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME!

Adam: You were using my memories of the dust mines as a weapon! How many other people have you done this to?!

Ozpin: Alright, let's calm down. Take a breath.

Adam: You made me relive the entirety of the dust mines! Like I was actually there!

Ozpin: Oh, how would you know that?

Adam: BECAUSE I WAS ACTUALLY THERE!

Ozpin: Well, we'll just call that a happy coincidence!

Adam: What coincidence?! They're MY memories!

Ozpin: Yeah, and it worked, didn't it?

Adam: BECAUSE YOU MADE ME RELIVE THE DUST MINES!

Ozpin: I feel like you're downplaying the effectiveness of this. L-Let me show you.

Yang: Professor Ozpin, what's going on in here-

Ozpin: DUST MINES!

Yang: ARGH! FUCKING DUST MINES!

Pyrrha: Hey, is everything okay-

Ozpin: TWENTY YEARS AGO!

Pyrrha: OH MY GOD!

Ozpin: See? C'mon, it's pretty effective!

Adam: You sick human fuck!

Cardin: Yo, Prof! Everything alright? What's going on in-

Ozpin: (Uses "recall")

Cardin: (Unfazed)

Ozpin: Huh? (Uses again)

Cardin: ...

Ozpin: Huh... For some reason, it's not working on you, Mr. Winchester.

Cardin: What? The dust mines thing? N-No, it worked. I saw it.

Adam: You did?

Cardin: Yeah.

Adam: ...That's it? That's all you have to say?

Cardin: What?

Adam: You're just brushing off someone implanting the entire experience of a dust mine survivor in your brain?

Cardin: W-Well, come on, dude! I knew it wasn't real!

Adam: Oh, so he's done this to you before!

Cardin: N-No, I didn't know he could do that.

Ozpin: What did you know wasn't real? The visions or the dust mines?

Cardin: Oh! Pssh! You know!

Adam: No, I don't think I do.

Cardin: Y-Y'know...

Ozpin: The dust mines were a real thing! You saw them just now! You just experienced it!

Cardin: Yeah- Yeah, yeah, but y-y'know that wasn't- I knew it wasn't real!

Ozpin: The visions or the dust mines?!

Cardin: Y- Y- Y'know... Y'know...

Adam: ...Some outstanding students you have, Ozpin.

Ozpin: (Uses "recall")

Adam: (Writhing on the ground)

Ozpin: SAY UNCLE! SAY UNCLE!

First one for 2025.

RIP James Earl Jones, whose long list of accomplishments on stage and screen includes being Sesame Street's first celebrity guest star.

Pyrrha Suffers...

I noticed some of y'all don't like Pyrrha being casted as Yamcha from Dragon Ball Z Abridged, so I decided to do the noble thing, go over my previous posts, make the free will choice to DOUBLE DOWN!

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Pyrrha: Don't worry, everyone. I'm here now.

Nora: Oh, thank Oum! Pyrrha's here now!

Pyrrha: That's right, and I swear that I will give my all fighting these foes. We have trained until our bones cracked to prepare for this, so I know that nothing will ever break our spirit! Today, we win-

Nora: Y-Yeah...! Woo...!

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Roman: ...So, who wants to tell Jaune?

Pyrrha: I'll do it. I was Jaune's partner, so he should hear it from me.

Roman: Whatever you say, Ms. Invincible.

Pyrrha: Jaune? It's me, Pyrrha.

Cinder: Oh, hello, Pyrrha Nikos~.

Pyrrha: YOU?! What are you doing on Jaune's scroll?!

Cinder: Is it wrong for a woman to answer her man's scroll?

Pyrrha: What?! How?!

Cinder: He was so distraught over your death. He needed someone to tend to him after you passed.

Pyrrha: YOU'RE THE REASON I'M DEAD!

Cinder: Well, I guess I'm the better woman then, aren't I?

Jaune: Who is it, Cinder?

Cinder: Oh, just someone trying to sell you a pool.

Jaune: Oh, uh, no thanks.

Cinder: Buh-bye~.

Pyrrha: OH, YOU DIRTY BITCH!

Roman: Penny?

Pyrrha: YOU LISTEN HERE, YOU LITTLE- (Crack) ARGH! MY STERNUM AGAIN!

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Pyrrha: Hmph! You have a lot of nerve coming here!

Cinder: I'm sorry. Do I know you?

Pyrrha: Wh- Don't you remember?! We fought at Beacon!

Cinder: No, I fought Ruby. Watts handled everyone else.

Cinder: Well, everyone except that scrub I took down in one sho-

Cinder: Oh! OH! AHA! AHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Pyrrha: Oh, keep laughing, you evil bi-

Cinder: (Towering over Pyrrha) HA. HA. HA.

Pyrrha: ...Bitch.

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Ashe: H-Hey, Pyrrha! How it han- I mean what's hang- (Ahem!) H-How are you?

Pyrrha: Oh, you know. Hanging in there.

Ashe: (Winces)

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Pyrrha: Oh, I am in over my head. I should contact the others.

Pyrrha: No! No! That's exactly what they'd expect!

Pyrrha: Isn't that right, adult and child wearing trenchco-?

Pyrrha: (Grabs by the throat) ACK!

Truck: (Approaching, Pumpkin Pete ad blares)

Pyrrha: OH, C-COME ON!

Truck: (Swerves, Crashes)

Grimm: Ruby. Vengeance.

Pyrrha: I-I'm... not... Ru-

Grimm: VENGEANCE! (Stabs Pyrrha)

Yang: I heard an explosion! What ha- OH COME ON, P-MONEY! IT'S BEEN TEN SECONDS!

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Pyrrha: I'll get Ruby to a hospital. Let's be honest. With how much you've all grown, I'd just get in the way.

Yang: Yup.

Blake: Probably.

Weiss: No offense.

Cinder: Why are you even here?!

Pyrrha: ...You know what? I'm just going to leave.

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Yang: We can't just sit around here, you know? We have to help!

Pyrrha: Help what? It would be a losing battle.

Yang: Oh, of course you'd say that!

Nora: Actually, she has a point.

Yang: Oh, don't you start!

Nora: Hey, I was in Vacuo, dammit! Shit got crazy! I was stabbed and blown up!

Pyrrha: I was stabbed and blown up, too, and dumped by the only boyfriend I ever had!

Nora: Same, except when my boyfriend left, he took all his character development.

Nora: When your boyfriend left, he took all your character development.

Pyrrha: ...

Yang: ...

Oscar: (Ozpin) You're going to need Mr. Arc to heal that wound, Ms. Nikos.

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Pyrrha: I just like to have hope, okay? Is that so wrong?

Yang: The fact you have any hope in your life is your most admirable quality.

Pyrrha: Oh... Thank you, Yang!

Salem: PYRRHA, FOR THE LOVE OF THE BROTHERS, DON'T THANK HER!

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Pyrrha: Please, you can't do this to me! These games... ever since the Grimm died, they're everything to me!

Pyrrha: My ex-boyfriend left me for an evil Maiden, and is now raising his daughter alone and refusing anyone's help.

Pyrrha: All of my friends are either married, or busy, or spending their days as the living embodiment of libido and being a total dick about it!

Pyrrha: ...Without these tournaments, I'll have nothing.

Cardin: Yeah, nothing, and 20 billion lien.

Pyrrha: What will I... Wait, what?

Port: Twenty. Billion. Lien.

Port: The Association states you can't be left high and dry upon retirement, nor can you be banned from further sponsorship deals, or promotional tie-ins.

Port: Simply put, you sign this non-compete, and you will be set for the rest of your life.

Pyrrha: So... I'd win?

Cardin: You only win! For as long as I've known you, you do nothing but win! This is just icing on your already winning cake!

Pyrrha: (Sniffles, Beams)

Fontainebleau State Park, Mandeville, Louisiana by Lana Gramlich

I believe James Earl Jones was the last surviving cast member from DR. STRANGELOVE (his first movie). What a career. RIP.

@Jackbutler4815 via X

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The Gaza Strip is one of two places in the entire world that is categorized as Phase 5 (the highest phase) on the Integrated Food Security Phase Classification scale.

So even if you think it isn't enough, remember that donating even as little as $1.35 helps! It's $1.35 they wouldn't have had otherwise. So donate if you can. 🇵🇸