the muskification of twitter except it's lex luthor instead of elon lol
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"Happy Birthday, Jaune"
1 Year Old
Mama Arc: We love you. (Walks out)
Jaune: (Asleep in crib)
Brother of Light: (Takes blanket) The first of many very happy birthdays, Little Jaune.
Jaune: WWAAAAAAAAAAA
Mama Arc: What is it, honey?
Papa Arc: Where'd his blanket go? He literally just had it FIVE MINUTES ago.
Mama Arc: I don't know!
5 Years Old
Jaune: Mama, can I stop having birthdays? The monster won't come if it's not my birthday.
Mama Arc: Jaune, there is no monster. Your father is going to be here with your sisters and the cake, and you're all going to have fun and-
CRUNCH!
Mama Arc: What was that?
Mama Arc: (Sees crushed vehicle) NOOOOOO!
Jaune: THE MONSTER! THE MONSTER DID IT!
16 Years Old
Jaune: (Stirs)
Scroll: Happy birthday, baby~! Can't wait to see you~! XOXO~!
Jaune: (Reaches, Gets up) AGH!
Brother of Light: Am I still surprising you, Jaune? You have a girlfriend.
Jaune: Please, why are you doing this? Nobody believes me-
Brother of Light: Silence. (Taps on scroll, Tosses) There's no way you're coming back after THAT comment. What a horrid boyfriend you are.
Jaune: I didn't-
Scroll: WHAT THE FUCK, JAUNE?! We are so over! DROP DEAD, YOU ASSHOLE!
Jaune: Please, why-
Brother of Light: Happy birthday.
21 Years Old
Jaune: (Surrounded by dead bodies, Holding cup)
Brother of Light: Don't drink that. Happy birthday.
25 Years Old
Jaune: (Standing in front of burning Beacon)
Brother of Light: Was this the academy you were going to? Happy birthday.
27 Years Old
Brother of Light: Happy birthday, Jaune.
Jaune: You got me fired?!
Brother of Light: No, this was just bad luck.
Jaune: Then-
Brother of Light: Your cat is dead.
30 Years Old
Jaune: ...He has to tell me. He has to tell me why. He won't stop. I know that. But if I can just get him to say why-
Jaune: It's already midnight... He... He missed it? But-
TV: Breaking news! The Brother of Light has been banished by Remnant's greatest huntress team!.
Jaune: (Smiles) He missed my birthday.
31 Years Old
Jaune: YOU SAY IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY~! DUNNA NUNNA NAH NAH NA NAH~!! WELL IT'S-
Brother of Light: Well, it's my birthday, too~. Yeah~!
Jaune: NO.
Brother of Light: No, you're right. It's not. I'm so sorry I missed you last year, Jaune. I promise it will NEVER happen again.
Jaune: Why?! Why?! PLEASE, WHY DO YOU DO THIS?!
Brother of Light: I love these meetings. There is nothing more important to me. Do you understand that? Let me make up for missing last year. (Snaps!)
Brother of Light: (Creates black hole under home) Happy birthday.
45 Years Old
Brother of Light: Jaune. Happy birthday. Ugh. Not a lot to work with anymore, is there?
Jaune: Light.
Jaune: You've tormented me for every year of my life, and for a long time, all I wanted to know was why.
Brother of Light: Mhm.
Jaune: But lately, I've started thinking. Why do YOU think I'll keep sticking around for all of this? Why don't I just kill myself, right? That's why. You want to see how far you can push a person. I know what you do the rest of the year. You're gone, either threatening Remnant or some other world yet unknown. You KILL huntsmen and huntresses! But every year, you come back to me. So I'm going to tell you why I hang on, why I keep living despite everything you've done to me. To the people I love.
Jaune: I wake up every day and-
Brother of Light: (Creates hole in ceiling)
Brother of Light: (Creates flood in Jaune's home)
Brother of Light: (Walks out) No, Jaune. I don't care. See you next year.
THE END
Requested by @cheeseeater2
Fright Knight: Prepare to face your fears, fools! Danny: Watch out guys, it's the Fright Knight! He can make any of our worst fears come to life! SpongeBob: I'll face him! I'm not afraid of anything! Timmy: What about gorillas? Jimmy: And robots? Danny: And butterflies? SpongeBob: C'mon guys, I'm not afraid of any of that! (In a flash of green light, a giant shadowed mass landed in front of SpongeBob. When it stood up and looked down at SpongeBob, SpongeBob saw it was a giant robot gorilla with the wings and head of a butterfly)
SpongeBob:
Hey y’all especially those in swing states, eyes up:
The elongated muskrat has engaged in blatant election interference by putting out a fake voter registration page on Google ads with the clear intention to dupe voters into thinking they have actually registered to vote. It’s likely also a data harvesting tactic.
Hopefully this gets immediately flagged and taken down but we all know this fascist chucklefuck will not see consequences to his actions and this is something that would drag out in court. Spread the word. Only register to vote through state board or check vote.org for more resources. Do not register through anything else ESPECIALLY if it has some sort of clear motivation.
cruelty is so easy. youre not special for choosing it
Man stops to rescue kitten, gets ambushed by platoon
(Source)