Georgecauldron800 - Untitled

Y'know what? I'd think i'd be pretty funny if Cinder forgot and/or didn't care to lear Jaune's name

EX:

Cinder: Ruby. Weiss. Blake. Yang

Cinder, squinting at Jaune while trying to remember his name: ...Jacob

Cinder: Nora. Ren

Cinder: All of you are gathered here today to witne-

Jaune: My name is Jaune

Cinder: That's what I said, Josh. As I was sayin-

Jaune: My name is JAUNE!

Cinder: Whatever you say John.

Jaune: RRRRAAAGHH

Cinder: Emerald, who was that young hell-fighter?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? I'll remember that name...

"Cinder did not remember that name"

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: Who is that honor student, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? How odd. My research specifically calls him out as an academic failure!

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: Hm~. Who is that bathroom ballroom dancer, Emerald?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of the... Pokémon card trainers from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Well, he's certainly got a foot loose or two~! Perhaps I've found someone who's hotfoot enough to dance with me?

Emerald: Oh, his foot isn't as hot as yours, ma'am. You've never lost a dance competition! Except for that time when you let Mercury win on his dad's birthday. It was very sweet of you, ma'am.

Cinder: Oh, he just looked so sad, Emerald. With his, "Oh... My dad used to hit my feet with a steel pipe like that..."

Emerald: (Giggles)

Cinder: Hm... I wonder if this Jaunem Arcury shares any relation.

Emerald: Unlikely, ma'am. They spell and pronounce their names differently.

Cinder: Bah! Arrange a game and I'll ask her myself!

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: Excelsior to you, Mr...

Cinder: (Whispering) Emerald, what's the name of this lounge lizard?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Baby-Alives from Beacon's first year.

Cinder: Yes! Arc~!

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: I'm sure your replacement will be able to handle everything. Who is he, anyways?

Emerald: Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am. One of your Target Practices from Beacon's first year. All of the recent events of your life revolved around him in some way.

Cinder: Arc, eh?

--------------------------------------------------

ATTENTION! FIRST YEAR PROBLEM ON TEAM JNPR!

Cinder: Team JNPR?! Good god, who's the team leader there?!

Emerald: (Typing into scroll) Uh, Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? Good man? Intelligent?

Emerald: Uh, actually, ma'am, he was enrolled on a dare by Professor Ozpin.

Cinder: Oh, well, thank you very much, Salem!

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: You know what I think of this exam?! (Rips) This! (Rips) And this! (Wipes butt) And some of this!

Cinder: Who is that champion of injustice, Emerald?

Emerald: That's Jaune Arc, ma'am.

Cinder: Arc, eh? New man?

Emerald: (Chuckles) Actually, ma'am, he thwarted your campaign for Fall Maiden. You shot his partner. He saved Beacon from falling. His teammate, Nora, painted you in the nude.

Cinder: Hm... Are you sure? I think I'd remember all that.

--------------------------------------------------

Emerald: Oh, god, he's being dropped into the Deathstalker nest!

Cinder: The fuck's a Deathstalker?

Jaune Dummy: (Perforated repeatedly, Scrapped into a heap)

Cinder: ...Emerald. Who was that corpse?

Emerald: Jaune Arc, ma'am. (Sniffles) One of the finest, bravest first year ever to bless at Beacon Academy~! (Sobs)

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Walking down the hall, Hallucinating)

Cinder: Emerald, who is that idiot?.

Cinder: Emerald, who is that doofus?.

Cinder: Who is that fashion disaster?.

Cinder: Who is that deadweight?.

Cinder: Mushbrain!.

Cinder: Dorkus Maximus!.

Cinder: Dirtstain!.

Cinder: Goofball!.

Cinder: Sextant-deficiency!.

Jaune: STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT!

Cinder: LOOK OUT!.

Jaune: Huh? (Falls off cliff) AAAAAAAAAAA

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (Chuckles)

Cinder: (Opens office door, Sees graffiti)

I AM JAUNE ARC

Cinder: ...And who in Salem's name are you?

Jaune: RRRGH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Jaune: (Shakes Cinder) JAUNE ARC! JAUNE! ARC! JAUNEARC! JAUNE ARC! MY NAME IS JAUNE ARC!

Jaune: (Pulled off, Dragged away) Oh, you're dead, Cinder. You're dead! YOU'RE DEAD, CINDER!

--------------------------------------------------

Cinder: I've decided to start carrying my weapon closely after I was assaulted last night by an unknown assailant.

Jaune: (Distant) DAMMIT!

More One Piece AU (ft. Rhodes D. Jobber)

Sergio Gutierrez Benitez, better known as Fray Tormenta, was a priest who wrestled to feed orphaned children. He was the inspiration for the Nacho Libre movie

NYX #2 (2024)

written by Jackson Lanzing & Collin Kelly art by Francesco Mortarino & Raul Angulo

Calamity Kamehameha!

[commision work]

The coolest looking Caterpillar I have ever seen! Herona Marathus 💚🖤

I mean honestly I don’t hate Harris. or Biden, who has actually done a lot of good in the last four years especially considering the mess he had to clean up. but whatever gets the “my imaginary moral high ground is more important than peoples’ lives” fucks to vote.

Guys.

Guess what?

It’s officially…

HALLOWEEN!!!!

Jaune is Harem Caesar

*Senate floor before meeting*

Cardin: What does he want now?

Ren: It appears he'll ask for another set of emergency powers as well as approval of Senate to add ten more wives to his harem.

Cardin: Again? Again?!

Ironwood: As far as I see this, he is consolidating the power before proclaiming himself dictator.

Adam: Look who's talking.

Ren: Let's not assume things Senator Ironwood. Besides I'll hand him a petition to sign today. I assure you our Divine Leader will approve of it.

Adam: Divine Leader? When did he add that crap?

Ren: Last week while you were absent. You should really stop stalking Blake. According to the new law you could get arrested for disturbing Divine Leader's wife.

Sun: Dude definitely, his goons beat me up yesterday for just looking at Blake.

Neptune: No dude, they beat you up because you were piss drunk and refused to show driver's license. Then you asked officer to check your pants for hidden bananas.

Sun: Potato-potato.

Adam: Typical bootlicker...

Cardin: Don't you think Jauney Boy has to...

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune.

Cardin: Sigh... Don't you think Divine Leader Jaune has took things bit too far?

Ren: He did help to save the world, he is owed at least some gratitude.

Sun: Well I helped as well and all I got was this lousy toga.

Adam: I think we might need a revolution.

Oscar: Shhhh, here he comes.

*Jaune enters the Senate*

Divine Leader Jaune: Gentlemen... Cardin. I've come to ask for more emergency powers.

Adam: Again? What happened to last ten emergency powers?

Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Those were hardly enough. Do you expect me to run this country with just that?

Adam: Wait a minute...

Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: What's the matter Senator Taurus?

Adam: You title just increased!

Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I fail to see your point.

Ironwood: At this point he'll add every possible title except Dictator.

Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'll consider those emergency powers added since I didn't see any complaints. Moving on. I wish to add ten more wives to my modest Harem of 1566.

Cardin: Ten more wives? This is outrageous! How is any of us suppose to get a wife?

Qrow: As if that was stopping you.

*laughter in Senate room*

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Since Cardin has been sufficiently owned, this also passes. Moving on. I demand funding for time travel and alternate universe travel projects.

Ironwood: That sounds incredibly costly. For what purpose may I ask?

Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You see, I wish to add younger version of Maria Calavera to my Harem. As for the alternate universe travel, I wish to add female versions of some of you to my Harem. I suspect female Adam and Oscar might be to my liking.

Adam: Yeah, I'm fucking killing him.

Oscar: Shhhh, Ren is handing him the petition.

Ren: Divine Leader Jaune!

Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Please Ren, use the full title.

Ren: *breathes in* Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune, I'd like you to sign this petition. It's to limit some of your powers and redistribute some of your wives to your loyal subjects.

Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Frankly, this is absurd.

Ren: What?

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Ren you can't expect me to sign off some of my wives, they all have a valuable purpose. Nora for example is an excellent titty cup holder. You expect me to make such a sacrifice?

Ren: You use Nora as a titty cup holder?!

About to be Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: Only on Tuesdays. Wait... what was that new title?

Ren: You know what, stab him! *pulls out a knife and stabs Jaune*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh... my titles faded away. Someone help me!

Qrow: Gotcha kid! *slips and accidentally stabs Jaune* Ufff, my Semblance and alcohol are not a good combination.

Adam: Long live the Revolution! *stabs Jaune*

Sun: Nothing personal Dude. *stabs Jaune*

Tai: There can only be one blonde with multiple partners. *stabs Jaune* Also, I saw you post those pictures of Yang and Ruby *stabs Jaune again*

Cardin: I've been waiting for this! *misses Jaune* Aw come on!

Tyrian: I'm not even member of this Senate, but I've heard we are stabbing someone. *stabs Jaune multiple times*

*Jaune backs away*

Stabbed, Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: You snivelling cowards! How dare you stab me! And get that stupid thing out of my title!

Ruler of Universe, Founder of Peace, Conqueror of Grimmlands, Light of Vale, Savior of Remnant, Fearless, Indomitable Invincible Glorious Divine Leader Jaune: I'm a Harem King! You can't defeat me! Do you know how many Harem fics do all of you have? ZERO! Now face me if you dare!

*Oscar sneaks up behind Jaune and stabs him*

Stabbed Jaune: Ugh, even you Oscar? Is this because of Ruby?

Oscar: Kind of. I mean I was pretty mad when you took Ruby as one of your wives. But then you also took my aunt... and demanded I start calling you Daddy Arc. But that part about you taking my alternate self as your wife kind of creeped me out the most.

Stabbed Jaune: Fair enough. *dies*

Adam: Gentlemen... H*mans... Revolution has prevailed!

*everyone cheers*

Ren: Now all we need to do is elect a democratic leader. No more Divine Leaders.

Adam: In that case, I elect myself as a new leader and as a first edict I take Blake as my wife!

Ironwood: No, I shall be the new leader! I'm the one with most experience taking over things.

Cardin: Oh no boys, this is a start of Cardin era.

Sun: Dude fuck off, nobody even likes you.

*Yang closes the book*

Blake: So what do you think?

Yang: Was that previous description of VB "plundering my holes" really necessary?

Blake: It adds to the immersion, brutality of the setting.

Yang: Blake, sweetie, for the love of Gods, could you stop writing stories like this?

My adaptation of the God of Arepo short story, which was originally up at ShortBox Comics Fair for charity. You can get a copy of the DRM-free ebook here for free - and I'd encourage you to donate to Mighty Writers or The Ministry of Stories in exchange.

Again it's an honour to be drawing one of my favourite short stories ever. Thank you so much for the original authors for creating this story; and for everyone who bought a copy and donated to the above non-profits.