A Dude Came Into The Library Stoned Out Of His Mind And Was Like, “do I Need A Library Card To Look

if Homer Simpson was exposed to top/bottom discourse he would say “mmm… subs” while thinking about a big sandwich. and we should all strive to be more like him in this way

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every girl should be allowed to lie on the floor for 16 hours a day to cope with the agonies

seinfeld but it’s written in 2022 by autistic people on tumblr

jerry: so kramer was telling me that female snakes have two clitorises– george: clitori? jerry: no, it’s clitorises. but see, kramer was telling me about this, and i was thinking. elaine: thinking? jerry: thinking. how would it feel to have two clitorises and no hands? elaine: i’d kill myself. jerry: EXACTLY! george: but you don’t have a clitoris! elaine: stop that. ‘clit.’ just say ‘clit’. jerry: george? george: what? jerry: did i not tell you that i’m trans? elaine: did you not tell him that you’re trans? george: i don’t think you did! jerry: well! i’m trans! kramer, bursting into the apartment: THERE ARE SNAKES HAVING SEX IN MY TOILET JERRY

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

The Clash arriving in New York at JFK Airport , May 26, 1981 .

©️ David Handschuh/AP Photo

if i got jigsawed and woke up in some moldy room with a makeshift bear trap on my head or whatever i wouldn't even let it phase me. i'm not willing to be taught lessons i'm not paying attention to a puppet. i would close my eyes and visualize abstract forms in jewel tones until a machine tears me asunder. now we've both wasted our time and you won't be able to return anything in this room to ace hardware. what did YOU learn, old man

the ten commandments

thog don't caare

if it sucks hit da bricks

play the cards i'm given

pobody's nerfect

this mess is a place

fuck it we ball

it's so over

we're so back

what if the world was made of pudding

there is good in every day