been thinking a lot about anticipatory grief lately. i love you so much that i know losing you will devastate me. i haven't lost you yet but i already miss you. we still have time, but it won't be enough. i think about what i would say at your funeral, and say some of it to you now cause i need you to know how loved you are before you go. you will go where i cannot follow, but you will never really leave me. it won't make it hurt less but it is a part of healing somehow.
Anne de Marcken, from It Lasts Forever and Then It's Over [ID'd]
"The boycott didn't work" It was never a boycott. It's not a mass action. It's just me, saying "I can't be a party to this if I ever want to look my reflection in the eyes again" and "I can't waste my time cultivating friendships with people of such low character."
Have you never made a choice purely for your own benefit and stubborn pride before?
there is no justice in this world for girls who don’t want to get up but have to
the person that you could’ve been or the life you could’ve lived isn’t real. it’s an illusion and a fantasy that only exists in your head. all you have is here and now
oh your pronouns are he/they?
well that’s mathematically incorrect becuase you can still simplify the fraction since both sides have “he”
making your pronouns technically 1/ty
listening to soon you'll get better by taylor swift and remembering how my great aunt said she liked the doctors on the icu, and how she talked about how the nurses were great, and how i used to wait till it got dark in my room to pray for a god i don't believe in, and how i was there with her in all times they allowed bc her fell out was sudden and my whole family was out of town except for me, and how she kept quiet until i came in to visit cause she was saving the little air she had to talk to me, and how in one of those quiet whispered conversations her words cut through my soul cause even the short breath couldn't keep her from wanting to comfort me by saying "it has been such a pleasure to help raise you", and how she did not know those words would never stop resonating within me, and how i did not know that would be our last conversation
Salman Toor (Pakistani, 1983), Immigrant Gathering, 2016. Oil on canvas, 122 x 81.5 cm.
I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.
i made your favorite dish. i made you something you’ve never tried before. i love you. i spent twenty minutes chopping. my grandmother made this for me when i was little. i made this dairy free for you. i love you. i want to eat together. the onions made me cry. i love you. i learned this recipe for you. i love you. i made this special for your birthday. i love you. i know you don’t like peppers. i love you. i love you. i love you.
weird weather
tip jar // commissions // prints // shirts and stuff
she/her • in my 20s • back to putting my thoughts on this hellsite
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