Latest Posts by herhighnessthegoblinqueen - Page 7

Having now seen the post in question, we all must make sacrifices. But this one was worth it.

man I'm over here refreshing the comments of my last post. hoping, BEGGING that I get the exact right comment I'm looking for so I can reblog. right now it just looks like I really like golf which I don't it sucks I'm just trying to make a shitpost but I need the right comment so I can stick the landing. this the process this is what I do

Actually life is beautiful because the sound I make while trying to breathe around hot food sounds like my dog trying to eat an apple. When I yawn my cat tries to put his face in my mouth like a little dentist man and when he yawns I put my finger in his obligate-carnivore trapzone and we both know he will not hurt me. When I do not fold my clothes, they do not hold it against me.

I am demonstrably sad, and lonely, and full of fear. But there are other people who will hold my hand, who will point out the hawk overhead, who will give you That Look in a public place. The other day at a coffee shop a child said “look! It’s snowing!” so all of us strangers went to go look out the windows. It wasn’t the first snow and it won’t be the last but wasn’t it lovely, like that?

How wonderful to live in a world where birds and frogs both say beep! How wonderful to have an ocean of beautiful sharks with their dinosaur teeth! How wonderful the moon and her changing face, how wonderful the bees and their dancing to communicate, how wonderful shrimp and their forbidden layers of vision! How wonderful, you, and what you will give the world! The way we love things enough to spend entire blogs devoted to them? How people will let me explain my Pokemon team to them? How we will both jump at the scare in the movie, how we laugh so loudly, how it feels to give someone your baking? How wonderful to be alive. I am sorry for forgetting.

This is the process of getting better. With wonderful people and wonderful strangers and wonderful friends: I am getting better, slowly. Thank you, whoever you are. In some way, you’ve been wonderful, and left a wonderful place in the world to ripple out to me. In some small way - isn’t it beautiful - I promise, you’ve been helping.

gender is a performance and i am but a reluctant backstage emo whose parents made them sign up for tech crew as an Extracurricular

i'm founding a new school of media criticism which i've decided to call Bitism. the Bitist school of literary analysis asks a simple question: is this work committed to the bit?

you see, any work of fiction is either committed to the bit or it's not. the worst thing a piece of media can be is ashamed of its own premise, of the genre it in habits, of the tropes and aesthetics we expect from it. to be committed to the bit does not inherently make it good, but it makes it more worthy of respect than those which are not.

also, that's not to say that a story cannot parody or criticize the genre it inhabits or mimics. we can discuss the bit, we can deconstruct the bit, we can ask ourselves whether or not it's a good bit, but to commit to it first will strengthen these discussions, not detract from them. commitment to the bit is, after all, the first step to genuine sincerity. and sincerity will exalt and elevate parody such that it can stand on its own feet.

commitment to the bit turns melodrama into camp, elevates parody to biting commentary, and allows cringe to open up into a resonant, if unpolished, expression of true emotion.

fully expect bitism to take the literary world by storm sometime in the next few years.

I see a lot of people saying things to this nature about Goncharov’s Return (I’ll just be referring to it as Return from now on), but you’re missing the point: Return isn’t MEANT to be a literal direct sequel to Goncharov. First of all, the campyness and tone are kind of meant to parody the original, and I really love the direction took the franchise. And most importantly, it’s HEAVALLY implied that it’s all taking place in Gonch’s head. (The director described it as something akin to a dream ballet). Return provides a lot of interesting insight into the character when viewed through that lens, and the whole movie falls into place.

The goat scene WAS necessary, because of what the goat represents. (I won’t say what because it’s a massive spoiler. Go watch the movie, it’s good)

The symbolism of the clock carries through from the original in the form of the microwave timer

It’s all a slasher because of his feelings towards violence and his own sexuality/ internalized homophobia

I will hear no slander about ice pick joe in the disco scene, he is my favorite boy

There were plans to make an entire saga, with each film focusing on a different character, but most people didn’t get Return, it was cancelled 😡 (y’all can’t have nice things). I have heard they started writing the screenplay for the next movie, but I haven’t found it anywhere on the internet.

I'm just gonna come out and say it -

GONCHAROV'S RETURN SUCKED

It shouldn't even qualify as a sequel. With the exception of Abe Vigoda, it has none of the original cast; Zemeckis had no business trying to make a slasher film; Ice Pick Joe shouting like he's the fucking Hulk just ripped me out of a movie I was already falling asleep through; the scene with the goat was TOTALLY FUCKING UNNECESSARY; and they put the only cute character in the whole thing IN A DAMN OLIVE PRESS! 🤬

HowdoIstarttho…..

once you start saying “yippee!” you will never stop

i cant help but notice that the chocolate chips cookies you brought to the potluck yesterday had bad vibes. so i went through your cabinets while you were sleeping and checked out the chocolate chips you used. i mean they looked innocent on the surface, they were even fair trade certified. but i just couldn't shake that itching sense that sometning was off. i infiltrated the chocolate company's headquarters by posing as IT support. and you know what I found? the guy who designed the labels got a dui in 2007. so it turns out my instincts were right and you're a terrible person.

Be the bigger person out of spite.

Don’t let your dreams be dreams kids

It was a meme to Photoshop Dwayne the Rock Johnson so that he had a really short torso, very long legs, no hips, and a large head.

Well crap now I want everything to be about those things, AND I have to watch Star Trek

i hate high-budget star trek you have no business with that. put a unicorn hat on a cocker spaniel. wear felt

hey folks,,,,,... glad 2 b here on tubblr . here's a little self-portrait of me,, a human male

I second this, I was late to the first one. Like ik the point is that it’s spontaneous or whatever but mass hallucinations are fun gonch dang it!

can we PLEASE start goncharov posting again i miss it so bad

Why is there a section for Luffy?

Yeah, I feel like you can’t enjoy yourself incorrectly. Now I kind of want to get my autistic little brother a bunch of tiny figurines like that because he does love lining stuff up.

July 25, 2023 - Striking stuntman Mike Massa walks in the SAG-AFTRA picket line while on fire. [video]

The real chocolate man from chocolate land was the trasure inside you all the way

Happy downfall of elon musk appreciation month to all those who celebrate💞💞💞

They’re about to break so many laws it’s not even funny, I can feel it in my bones

I think Muskrats is a bit more accurate

I dont like musk and I dont wanna talk about him but I DO want to start referring to his fans as Musketeers

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. They wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

How about no

Today's aesthetic: when the robots are moist.

*the best typo in the world

Turns out the potassium nitrate I had as fertilizer for algae to feed my slut isn't fucking a nitrate salt at all and I am pissed

GUESS WHO DIDN'T GET THE JOB

ME

BECUASE THE JOB SUCKED BALLS AND THEY WANTED TO PAY ME LESS THAN MINIMUM WAGE WORKING OUTSIDE SIX DAYS A WEEK!!!!!!

SO I GOT THE JOB AND SAID NO

I'm on that tgirl egirl grindset

Logically I shouldn't post this because it's incoherent and I'm hyped on caffeine but I have the ability to say words on the internet and I think it's funny to use this power to say that employers SUCK ASS

did you drink water today? If not it's coming

I tire of your pitiful fandoms. The only fandom I will except from now on is shark fandom.

Jessie after dark

A very powerful American toad creates ripples in water with his call. [Anaxyrus americanus] [x]

Idk those condos seem like there gonna be super rad

if we wanna save tumblr we just have to put on the biggest talent show this town’s ever seen