231 posts
Latest Posts by herhighnessthegoblinqueen - Page 6
@evilwizard
Selected Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook
Or: Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko
1. Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko should not be referred to by his full titles and styles, no matter the context. This appears to annoy him. "Fire Lord Zuko" and "Lord Zuko" are acceptable, as well as "your majesty" and "my Lord".
1.1 "Lord Hotman", however, is unacceptable.
1.2. Even if the Avatar specifically requests you to address Fire Lord Zuko as that.
1.3. In fact, any attempts by the Avatar, the Lady Beifong, the honorable Tribesman Sokka or even Master Katara to get you to address Fire Lord Zuko by anything other than his proper title should be disregarded.
1.4. Referring to Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.) as "The Loser Lord", however, is acceptable.
2. Fire Lord Zuko is aware of the concept of mortality, but does not seem to understand how it relates to His Majesty. Following activities should be discouraged: Free climbing, glider usage, contact with exotic animals larger than a turtleduck (or smaller, if the animal is known to be venomous), amateur theatre productions, cooking, sailing, spelunking, botany, please see full list in the Matron's office.
2.1. It should be noted that His Majesty's belief that mortality does not apply to him does not appear to be completely unfounded. After several "close calls", it has been decided that upon his demise, Fire Lord Zuko should lie in state for at least two weeks.
2.1.1. We do not want another incident.
3. The turtleducks in the Western Pond do not need to be fed by the servants any more.
3.1. However, the turtleducks should be rotated out at regular intervals in order to prevent overfeeding.
4. At any official social functions, at least three servants should be vigilant in case His Majesty tries to tell a joke.
4.1. It should be noted that there is no concern for His Majesty's jokes being offensive, crass or otherwise contrary to good taste. They are simply very bad. His Majesty always ends up embarrassed.
5. Any children left unattended in the Royal Palace for more than 15 degrees can be retrieved from the Fire Lord's office.
6. Should His Majesty go missing, the following places should be searched: roofs and any high places, cellars and secret passages, the fur of the Avatar's sky bison (which is surprisingly deep), and every place that an ordinary five-year-old would think to hide in during a game of "Hide and Explode."
6.1. All of the Imperial Firebenders as well as any soldier who wears a mask during the course of their duties should be questioned.
6.1.1. Important note: Some of the soldiers who are especially close to His Majesty can perform a passable imitation of him. Efforts should be made to prevent an uneducated soldier from, say, conducting a meeting with the Minister of Agriculture.
6.2. After the recent incident, that list is expanded to include the Kyoshi Warriors and any other groups that might wear concealing full face paint.
6.3. If all of these measures prove ineffective, a letter should be sent to The Dragon of the West, Prince Iroh, asking His Highness to return His Majesty.
6.4. If a ransom note is delivered, it should be immediately checked against the handwriting samples from the honorable Tribesman Sokka as well as Avatar Aang, before any other actions are taken.
6.4.1. Replying "Good luck, he's your problem now" to a ransom note is absolutely unacceptable.
6.4.1.1. To further drive home the point, the Royal Archives are required by law to preserve every single piece of royal correspondence. That thing will end up in a museum.
This handbook will be updated should it prove necessary.
No. I don’t think I will reblog it this or any year
You can only reblog this today.
Apparently they're selling post content to train AI now so let us be the first to say, flu nork purple too? West motor vehicle surprise hamster much! Apple neat weed very crumgible oysters in a patagonia, my hat. Very of the and some then shall we not? Much jelly.
Y’know what, I’m fully here for this. I might be bad, but it’ll bad in interesting ways. Live action remakes tend to feel like the original got watered down, but I think the opposite will happen because of how the medium of animation works.
This site: What the fuck is with all these animated shows getting terrible live-action remakes? We should start remaking live action media as cartoons to balance the scales.
The monkey's paw: *curls one finger*
When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”
He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)
I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.
What is your objective?
Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.
I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.
I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.
Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.
Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.
How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?
Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.
Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?
Re: What would be more confusing to find knocking at your door, The Walrus or The Fairy
The obvious answer is
my 3 rent paying girlfriends (yes they all pay rent)
Giant cookie for giant me🥺
Giant keyhole for giant key
Giant beehive for giant bee
I’m sorry but did you say professionally
Hey can I borrow your job for a sec? I promise I’ll give it back…
Fun little thing about medieval medicine.
So there’s this old German remedy for getting rid of boils. A mix of eggshells, egg whites, and sulfur rubbed into the boil while reciting the incantation and saying five Paternosters. And according to my prof’s friend (a doctor), it’s all very sensible. The eggshells abrade the skin so the sulfur can sink in and fry the boil. The egg white forms a flexible protective barrier. The incantation and prayers are important because you need to rub it in for a certain amount of time.
It’s easy to take the magic words as superstition, but they’re important.
I love this, but who is “the guy”????
Sorry for the poor quality
glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts
You’re simply ABAGS
 Assigned Brenda At Gas Station
So I signed up for a rewards program — I go to this gas station all the time for gas and snacks and their reward program looked worth it for how often I go.
But, inexplicably, the program thinks my name is Brenda.
My name is not Brenda. I don’t even remember any point in the online signup where it asked for my name. But the emails I receive say stuff like “Welcome to rewards, Brenda!” “Brenda, here are promotions for you.”
Who is Brenda
Tis the season to hurkle-Durkle
who else up hurkleing their durkleing
if i can impart any one piece of wisdom to y’all, it’s to, whenever possible, assume good intentions
assume people are trying their best, want to be good and treat others well, and that when their behavior doesn’t align with those goals, it’s because of outside factors that are pushing them to their limit
it’s hard to do, it doesn’t always come naturally, but it’s worth it
I feel personally victimized that there was no option for gay AND European.
Blinky lights?
Goblin
Jars!!!
having mud on your shoes at all times
S h r i e k 👍
sitting in places not meant for sitting
cool rocks
hot chip
I have never read anything more accurate in my entire existence on this planet. This is so true that all other facts seem in comparison like vague ideas. This has shaken my belief in all things I once knew to be true.
Do they at least pay rent?
I got a whole lot of mental illness hangin out inside me
As a vegetarian, “natural unmeat” is the best thing to call meat substitutes.
Like, I know why it happens – the meat packing plant is just slapping the exact same label on everything, regardless of whether it's processed or not – but when I see a package of raw, unsmoked, unprocessed meat proudly announcing that it contains "All Natural Ingredients", every time I'm tempted to ask where they keep the unnatural meat. I feel like they're holding out on us here.
Yes, and what of it?
Tumblr icon is gooey now
Whatever is upsetting about that? I find it hilarious that those sharks in the northern hemisphere had no way of knowing their latitude from the stars!
The question is, is it worse if all the cars are locked/don’t work, or if all the cars are perfectly drivable, but there is nowhere to drive to, except more lot.
We need more scary infinite variants of manmade environments like the Infinite IKEA or the Backrooms.
May I suggest, The Lot:
Awww🥰 She must really like you! She doesn’t foam at the mouth for just anyone
your poor little meow meow fucking bit me
I think we should have more of these discussions. This is very useful information.
Astronomy I-