AKUSAIMONTH: BERSERK Day 4: SET C - “Affection”

Di[e]ce Appreciation Week | Day 1: The Die is Cast.

Don’t leave me.

I love how you start reading Di[e]ce and you’ve got no idea what’s going on. The word itself isn’t even mentioned in the manga’s first volume and even later on, whenever it seems like things are getting clearer, they just don’t.

This manga turns everything upsidedown. The plot, the characters, their relationships … There’s just so much tension in this manga, it’s incredible.

AKUSAIMONTH 2015: BERSERK Day 18: SET C - “Lyrics (Only If For A Night)”

[ And I heard your voice, as clear as day And you told me I should concentrate It was all so strange, and so surreal That a ghost should be so practical ] [ Only If For A Night – Florence + the Machine ]

Somewhere in the darkness, I thought I heard your voice. I thought I felt your hands.

The sensation was so real and warm and wrong. I was alone, wasn’t I?

But I heard it again, so far away, felt it so close to me and it didn’t matter. I didn’t care if it was real or an illusion or a fever dream my crumbling mind conjured. I clutched onto it. It gave me a focus, a lifeline in the madness of my fall and I would not give it up.

I would not

give you up.

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Reblogs: Yes, thank you! <3 Reposts on other websites: No!

W . I . P

Just thought I’d show you what I’m spending my free time on lately. Still so much to do!

Okay, so. If becoming norted DOESN’T mean losing your free will, then what good would it do Xehanort to make Sora a vessel.

I am honestly so done with the Saix discourse around here.

Saix has Xehanort’s EYECOLOUR AND EARS for heaven’s sake. He is clearly at least influenced by Xehanort during his time in Org XIII. Not to mention he has a X carved into his forehead, X like keeping watch on people (see KH3D).

I always thought that Saix is losing more and more of himself to Xehanort, but that’s only my interpretation of course. He’s still at least partially himself, before his death in KH2, yes. He did terrible things, yes. I’m not saying those should be forgotten.

But please don’t forget, that he was also in a terrible situation and he was slowly losing his only support (= Lea). Situations have a huge impact on our decisions and behaviour, which has close to NOTHING to do with our personality. Feel free to google the fundamental attribution error on that one. Does this justify what he did? Not at all. Does this mean he shouldn’t be forgiven? Not. At. All. If he is willing to repent, then let him do it. EVERYONE DESERVES A SECOND CHANCE.

Then again, I’d like to take a look at the “terrible things” Isa/Saix did. The main problem I see is his behaviour towards Roxas and Xion, who would have needed support and whose situations were clearly made worse by him. Keep in mind that he deeply believes he doesn’t feel any emotions and nobody else around him does either. The definition of empathy (according to Dorsch, Lexikon der Psychologie [translated]) is the cognitive understanding and affective reciprocation of the assumed emotions of another being. Of course Saix doesn’t have any.

The “terrible things” I don’t understand, are those other people see in his interactions with Axel? Roxas and Xion hurt Axel’s mental state way more than Saix, not on purpose of course, but I strongly doubt Saix’ goal was to hurt Axel either. Saix and Axel are ARGUING. Axel doesn’t trust Saix and vice versa. Saix is angry, he’s sad, while he doesn’t acknowledge any of it. He tries to keep Axel close with their shared goal. With pressure, yes, which he didn’t have to, but they are still arguing, remember. There’s still a strong, unresolved conflict in between them. Don’t try to tell me, you’re always kind and caring in an argument, dear haters. Because BY SHARING HATE YOU ALREADY ARE CAUSING DAMAGE TO OTHER PEOPLE. I felt uneasy and irritated, I had sleepless hours thanks to those Saix hate posts. YOU caused me harm with your unnecessary discourse.

So what does this say about you? Shouldn’t you be forgiven?

By the way, I’ve had an Instagram account for a few months now and I finally offically opened it yesterday. So if you want to follow me over there:

https://www.instagram.com/herzblutrose/

Who knows, maybe I’ll use this opportunity to be a little more active on both platforms?

AKUSAIMONTH: DAYTIME MOON Day 7: [Free Day]

Today is a special day. Not only is it AkuSai day, it’s also my 5th anniversary as a fan of AkuSai! To celebrate this event, I decided to redraw the very first AkuSai drawing I ever did! ... ... ... I ... well. I guess my drawing style changed a bit, hahaha.

(I can’t believe I got into this ship because I wanted Axel to be happy. I mean. AkuSai. Happy. Wow. I guess, I had some serious misconceptions about Saix back then, and not only about his hair, haha.)

Well, I hope you all enjoyed AkuSaiMonth as much as I did! <3 Also, thank you for sticking around with me and for shipping this wonderful, painful, beautiful, terrible ship!

I finally have free time again!! Yay! Time to show off some of the sketches I did in the last months!

First off, a selection of self-portraits I did in April and May. To me a self-portrait isn't about what I look like, but more about what it feels like to be me. I really enjoyed doing these. (Btw, the text on the third one reads: "But I like wearing a mask." Which was quite a weird realization.)

It works every time.

Happy Isa/Lea Day 2024!! <3

Ludger Will Kresnik aka The Best Boy. He deserved so much better.

Cosplay shooting with friends! Big thanks to the one who talked me into cosplaying as well, rather than just taking photographs and who took those cool shots then!

By the way, cosplaying Saix on conventions is great! The reaction of other Kingdom Hearts fans is always amazing. Especially the Axel cosplayer are incredible nice and cool! … Is it just me or is AkuSai getting more and more popular?