Latest Posts by hey-howdy-mister - Page 4

Y'know, whenever people want to talk about why aspec people 'count' as an oppressed identity, they tend to go for the big stuff like corrective rape and conversion therapy. And like, we should absolutely talk about that stuff. Obviously those things are terrible and important and we need to raise awareness and deal with them.

But I feel like people often gloss over how… quietly traumatising it is to grow up being told that there is only one way to be happy— and that everybody who doesn't conform to that norm is secretly miserable and just doesn't know it— and then to gradually realise that, for reasons that you cannot help, that is never going to happen for you.

You're not going to find a prince/princess and ride off into the sunset. Or if you do, then it's not going to look exactly the way it does in fairytales. You're not going to get a 'normal' relationship, because you are not 'normal', and everybody and everything around you keeps telling you that that's bad.

You see films where characters are presented as being financially stable, genuinely passionate about their work and surrounded by friends and family, but then spend the rest of the plot realising that the real thing they needed was a (romantic and sexual) partner, to make them 'complete'.

You absorb the idea that any relationships you have with allo people will ultimately be unfulfilling on their side, and that this will be your fault (even if you discussed things with your partner beforehand and they decided that they were a-okay with having those sorts of boundaries in a relationship) unless you deliberately force yourself into situations that you aren't comfortable with, so as to make uo for your 'defects'.

You grow up feeling lowkey gaslighted because all the adults in your life (even in LGBT+ spaces. In fact especially in LGBT+ spaces) are insisting that it's totally normal to not be attracted to anybody at your age, and then you go to school and everybody keeps pressuring you to name somebody you're attracted to because they can't imagine not being attracted to anybody at your age.

And then you get older and realise that one day you're going to be expected to leave home, and that one day all your friends are going to be expected to put aside other relationships and 'settle down' with a primary partner and you don't know what you're going to do after that because you straight up don't have a roadmap for what a 'happy ending' looks like for someone like you.

(And the LGBT+ community is little help, because so many people in there are more than happy to tell you that you're not oppressed at all. That you're like this because you don't want to have sex, and/or you don't want to have any relationships, that your orientation is some sort of choice you made— like not eating bananas— rather than an intrinsic part of you that a lot of us have at some point tried to wish away.)

Even if you're grey or demi, and do experience those feelings, you still have to deal with the fact that you're not experiencing them the 'normal' way and that that's going to effect your relationships and your ability to find one in the first place.

If you're aiming for lifelong singlehood (which is valid af) or looking for a qpp, then you're going to have to spend the rest of your life either letting people make wrong assumptions about your situation (at best that your relationship is of a different nature than it actually is, at worst that the life you've chosen is really just a consolation prize because you 'failed' at finding a romantic/sexual partner) or pulling out a powerpoint and several webpages every time you want to explain it.

This what being aspec looks like for most people, and it is constantly minimised as being unimportant and not worth fighting against— even in aspec spaces— because we've all on some level absorbed the idea that oppression is only worth fighting against if it's big, and dramatic, and immediately obvious. That all the little incidents of suffering that we experience on a daily basis are not enough to be worth bothering about.

I mean, who gives a shit if you feel broken, inherently toxic as a partner, and like you're going to be denied happiness because of your orientation? Shouldn't we all just shut up and thank our lucky stars we don't have to deal with all the stuff some of the other letters in the acronym have to put up with (leaving aside the fact that there are many aspec people who identify with more than one letter)?

So you know what? If you're aspec and you relate to anything I've said above (or can think of other things relating your your aspec-ness that I haven't mentioned) then this is me telling you now that it's enough. Even if we got rid of all the big stuff (which we're unlikely to do any time soon because— Shock! Horror!— the big stuff is actually connected to all the small stuff) we would still be unable to consider our fight 'over' because what you are experiencing is not 'basically okay' and something we should just be expected to 'put up with'.

No matter what anybody tells you, we have the right to demand more from life than this.

anyone else get the constant fear that there are unspoken social rules you dont know about (especially in new situations, like when i first started taking the bus, i was afraid i was doing it wrong lol) so youre just always on edge and kind of… watching how other people act so you can copy the “correct” thing to do

( thread link )

link to the fund: https://www.gendergp.com/the-gendergp-fund/

This post is why I get up now.

Source

Video of Tama

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Absolutely love when my mutuals running 20th century military history blogs smash reblog on a run of trans supportive content. I have no doubt if someone ever shit on me for being trans, 5 seconds later they’d hear a trench whistle and the rumble of approaching infantry. Let’s get this bread lads!

Trans and ace/aro rights lads

i hope everyone with acne, eczema, vitiligo, psoriasis, dermatitis, and skin conditions have a good day today

Reblog if you’re dead

Wanna see how many people are dead

since so many people are coming out as exclusionists, lemme just let yall know, my blog is a safe space for all genders and sexualities. asexuality is part of the lgbtq+ community and pansexuality is super fucking valid. we dont support exclusionists here.

It’s asexual awareness week! All cheating at cards is allowed for the next seven days!

YEEHAW! Jokes on anyone who tries to play cards with me! I don’t know how to play and I can’t remember the rules for longer than three seconds! I hope you get some use out of the week though! I kinda forgot it was asexual awareness week, so thanks for letting me know pal! The week has been improved!!!!

(October 25 2020)

As we near Halloween, I thought I'd share my family's pumpkins from last year. Mine was the cat one.

fuck it

i dont want girls sexualising mlm relationships anymore. at all

i dont want them fetishizing our relationships bc they think it’s sexy

i dont care if its a “way for them to express their sexuality”. that aint right and its messed that they can say that they want men in the porn industry to stop fetishizing wlw relationships, only to do the same bc its “fandom”

Even if the creator is just doing their content for fun, a re-blog can make a person's day! Please re-blog works you enjoy.

Please re-blog this. I'm not Jewish but I strongly believe that religion is important to people and they have the right to protect it.

this is so upsetting, PLEASE rb to spread awareness

The top poem is 'Song Of Songs' by Wilfred Owen and the second is 'The Human Seasons' by John Keats.

why when able bodied fans draw canonically disabled chair-user characters do they have the abled partner sitting on their lap? i would kill someone if they touched my cane or sat on me in my chair

An astronaut

Any constructive criticism?

<3