Tim: So lmao, that's how I lost my spleen and my sanity for a brief moment
Dick: Wait, is this when Ra's kicked you out that window?!
Tim: yup
The rest of the Batfam:
I imagine Tim telling the Batfamily his Red Robin run got his ass so grounded he had to be manhandled into the Robin suit because at least they can keep an eye on him if he's Robin. (DC keep Tim out of the Robin role or at least make it fucking funny, cuz i swear to god I'll beat you ass.)
UTRH AU - (before revelation) Jason tries to kill Dick but can’t keep his emotions under control. Loosely inspired by this.
look at this cool borzoi hanging out with some white dudes
people who are mutuals with their irl friends on tumblr are braver than any us marine
they’re all safe and happy!! mhm!! yes!!!!!!!!!
they are on vacation~🍃🌼
ME
3 apples tall
love the idea of the Batfamily getting stopped and searched in the family car on the way back to the Manor and everyone’s tense expecting Jason to be the one packing like twelve guns but it’s Alfred? Alfred is absolutely unbelievably strapped up to high heaven? And he somehow manages to talk to the cops out of arresting him or even giving him a ticket?
Bruce is just standing on the side of the road pinching the bridge of his nose. Jason is grinning so widely his face is about to rip. Alfred’s guns are all sitting on the hood of the car and there’s at least three there that Bruce remembers taking away and destroying. Dick is taking pictures on his phone to send to Barbara and trying not to laugh. Tim has Kon on speaker narrating it…
anyways i think bruce historically takes the batboys on an annual fishing trip which they all hate so so so much. it gets to the point where it's only tim accompanying him, because unlike dick or jason, tim would simply disintegrate from guilt if he stayed home.
then cass comes along and bruce thinks "oh no well there goes my fishing trips. all of the boys hate them anyways... and it's not like i can take a GIRL fishing."
cue bruce and cass, alone next to some dinky old river with nothing but their fishing rods and an esky full of cold beers, wearing a matching pair of fuckass fishing hats, both religiously applying sunscreen and bug spray.
lol
the fact that it’s totally normal for Bruce to carry a Robin in his arms but if you see him carrying a fully-grown adult child like Nightwing or Red Hood etc that means they probably died/are about to die is KILLING me.
screaming crying throwing up tbh😻😻
Pretty sure I dreamed about Jason Todd last night... Anyone have any coping tips?
The batfam trauma candy salad would go absolutely insane.
Dick: Hi. I'm Dick Grayson and when I was 8 I watched my parents fall to their death in front of me, then I had to move away from everything I love and spend the rest of my life in some weird American city. And I brought the sour gummy worms.
Jason: This is so stupid- my mother used to kick me out when he drug dealer would come over so I didn't see her spending our very small amount of money on drugs.
Steph *off screen*: what did you bring?
Jason: nerds.
Cass: I was raised to be a weapon, a murderer. I brought peach rings.
Steph: I'm Steph and My dad was an alcoholic who thought he could go head to head with batman and outdo the riddler. And I brought Reese's pieces.
Tim: I'm Timothy Drake Wayne and I had left the house to try and find some guy before he killed my dad, just for him to kill my dad when I was gone. I brought sour rainbow strips.
Duke: My parents are in a mental ward, high on joker toxin. No one knows if they'll ever get better. And I got m&m's.
Damian: I am a highly trained assassin and-
Steph: cut. Cut. Damian. Civilian identities. Ok. Restart.
Damian: My mother randomly dropped me on some weird man's doorstep when I was ten. I brought rock candy.