I Bet The JL Has A “how Fucked Are We” Metric That’s Literally Just How Many Of Bruce’s Kids

No bitches?

TEEEEEHGEEEEEEEEEW

the bite is a gift 🐺💉

insta

!!!!!!

and on a similar note, I don’t think Bruce yells except in very specific situations.

like I don’t think he yells around the house when he’s annoyed or when the kids are pissing him off. he’s more of a lecture guy. so much so that the kids compete every year to see who gets the longest lecture. the winner gets some sort of bat themed merch (it changes every year. last year Duke got a pair of boxers with the bat symbol across the ass)

BUT

when Bruce is scared, he gets loud. He’ll yell about “how could you be so reckless” and how “I need you to be better than this.” It’s how the kids know they’ve really freaked him out.

the first time Dick gets yelled at by Bruce, he’s 10. He was jumping rooftops too fast and slipped. Bruce catches him by the cape, drags him back to the batmobile, and totally dresses him down.

Dick bursts into tears. Not because he’s scared, but because he can feel the fear rolling off Bruce in waves. and it feels so wrong for Bruce to be that scared because he’s The Batman and he’s not supposed to be scared of anything.

anyway. Bruce’s fear is loud.

I think it’d be so funny if Bruce just refuses to disclose the existence of Robin to the league. He knows it’d take less than a minute for them to form a wicked mock club against him.

Except he just? Carries Robin around. Under that endless void that is his cape. Clark pinches the stress point between his brows. “Batman, is that a child under your cape?”

“No.”

“Bruce I can HEAR his heartbeat.”

“I think the long exposure to kryptonite partially damaged your brain. There is no child here, Clark.”

“He’s literally drinking Barry’s coffee right now.”

“He’s WHAT-“

My favorite type of scam is where someone makes an account impersonating a famous person on social media, and then just goes into DMs and asks for money while also saying a "catchphrase" in a weird attempt to make themselves look legit

Jason: I bet you can't eat 15 crayons!

Dick: I bet I can!

Bruce: *looks at them momentarily, checks that 911 is still on speed dial, and goes back to reading his book*

cozy request ??! if u still do requests

dick and jason sleepy after a patrol

or after a long fight (over alfred’s cookies)

There will never be peace.

finished fanart of "The Unsteady Retirement of One Mr Peter Benjamin Parker" by aestorian :DD

backgrounds aren't rlly my forte so it took me forever to render before it started looking half decent lmao but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out :33

godDAMN

dinah lance died on the cross to give us this

ME

3 apples tall